justified / "just as if I'd"

Thursday, May 23, 2013 ( 10:41 a.m.)

Holy Father,

I'm making myself sick here. I made a mistake. A judgment I thought to be correct that turned out not so. I'm struggling with feeling sad and embarrassed and judged and awkward. And I keep trying to think of ways to justify myself out of it.

Instead of continuing to check for emails that aren't there and plotting my own course of justification, I'm bringing it to You. Tears and all.

Father, I love You. I have spent many of the past twenty-four hours agonizing over yet another mistake with a grandchild. My first inclination is to give all the power of my being deemed a worthwhile human being over to the parents. Thank You for putting Your proverbial foot down on that one.

(2:24 p.m.)

All these hours later, I'm still feeling a little shell shocked. You and I spent some time together in Your Word on the subject. I read a few things about justification elsewhere. I know forgiveness (of myself, as well as others) is a key component. Here is where I ask for You to do in and for me that which I cannot do myself.

I love You Father. Make me ready, willing and able to get up and get going around here. You, indeed, are Lord. Your Word tells me that I am to be strong in You and in Your mighty power (Ephesians 6:10). You are where my strength begins.

Thank You for loving each of us so very much. Work in and through me I pray. I love You. Amen.

(268 words ~ 2:34 p.m.)