rightful

Friday, July 31, 2015 (7:41 a.m.)

Blessed, Holy God,

Thank You. Another hiccup. Some hurt feelings. And then of course, my own pride. What can You do with me, Father?

I felt it as it happened. Recognized my own snarkiness. Genuinely wanted to do it all differently. Yet there I was. Pouting. Sulking. Stewing. With thoughts of lashing out.

Thank You that I chose instead to laugh. Not at the problem. Or the person. No. I turned to comedy. Got my mind off myself for awhile.

Thank You that even though I still held somewhat tightly to my own “rightful” indignation, I relaxed enough not to choke on it. Father, You have taught me better. Yes. Indeed I do know better.

Teach me this morning what You would have me learn about rightfulness.

Psalm 27:14

Thursday, July 30, 2015 (6:55 a.m.)

Blessed, Loving God,

Thank You for rest. Thank You for the privilege of coming into Your presence. Thank You for all You are and want us to be.

Blessed Father, I sit here thinking. Wondering. And now asking. How best can I use the time You have allotted me?

I believe myself to be good at waiting. I want very much to learn to wait for You. Psalm 27:14 says, “Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.”

Wait. [check]. Patiently. [check, check]. Be brave? And courageous? Now You're asking something of me.

Most Blessed God, I read the various transcriptions of this verse and see words like hope and trust and rely. Even while I'm thinking I do a fairly good job at waiting for and trusting in You, I must be honest and confess it comes in phases.

My go to reaction in most things is still fear. Fear of judgment. Of the unknown. Of what disasters may [or may NOT] come. Thank You that we have You to depend on. To wait for. To expect. To stay with. Look unto.

Holy God, I love You. I love that I get to sit here and contemplate all that You would have me become. Walk me through each step. Take me exactly where You would have me go. Doing precisely that which You would have me do. Sharing. Caring. Being real. Honest. Loving. Kind.

Live in me, oh Lord. That I would be brave and courageous. I love You. I thank You. Amen.

(267 words ~ 7:42 a.m.)

combat fatigue

Wednesday, July 29, 2015 (6:34 a.m.)

Blessed Father,

Thank You. I feel tired. And emotional. There was sleep. Rest. Yet here I sit. Seemingly only half awake. Talk with me, will You.

Yesterday we took a day trip to the beach. With two preschoolers in tow. Fun was had. Much prep work in advance paid off handsomely. Yet I feel shell shocked.

Ah... a smile. Real. Genuine. Authentic. Thank You Father.

An alternative for the phrase shell shocked is combat fatigue. Believe it or not, that very nearly represents my current run with exhaustion. Vacation plans were well executed. Several consecutive days of overnight childcare went well. Big news of upcoming changes are being welcomed and discussed.

Oh, but my heart, my heart is feeling set aside. For protection. Last night I read Oliver Jeffers' book The Heart and The Bottle and I cried. Much as I am now. Tears that want to fall. Yet stay pooled until just the right moment. Like this.

Father, thank You for giving us such a wide range of emotions. Must I feel them all at one time?

(8:05 a.m.)

Blessed Father, I ask You to guide me in Your Word right now. I don't know where to look. How to find all that You have for me. I want very much to not attempt putting my heart in a bottle for safe keeping. Teach me again how to risk feeling.

asking

Monday, July 27, 2015 (12:34 p.m.)

Most Blessed Father God,

I'm here right now because I want to be. There are going to be some BIG changes coming our way and I am asking that You would be THE Leader of them all. Yes Blessed Father, I am asking.

You are our God. Our Father. 

different dynamic

Sunday, July 26, 2015 (6:36 a.m.)

Blessed Father God,

Thank You. You blessed us with good weather, warm water and fun families yesterday. I confess, I often take those for granted. Thank You for the giant spotlight You seem to be shining on things I may have stopped noticing.

In a bit of a rush this morning, I ask You to tune me in to being more aware. Alert. Attentive. I noticed some things in the water yesterday that I had possibly forgotten. Or perhaps had never known. With a dive belt and added weights my body behaved differently than usual.

“Sank like a rock” comes to mind. Having to work really hard to do the things my own body type normally does with great ease. Playing around with the different dynamic allowed me the freedom to explore and truly embrace something entirely new to me.

Thank You Father. Thank You for the opportunity to safely experiment with breath holding, gliding, gentle pushes and full out swimming. Thank You for the added dimension of identifying so personally with the struggles others can face while in the water.

Needing to adjust old patterns to accommodate new circumstances is a skill I request from You. Instead of struggling and working harder yesterday, I learned to move slower, rest more and truly enjoy the experience.

Yes Father, take my experiment of yesterday and remind me to fully embrace whatever change or challenge that may come my way today. I love You so very much. I ask that You make that obvious in my choices this day. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(270 words ~ 7:30 a.m.)

change of plans

Saturday, July 25, 2015 (7:25 a.m.)

Blessed, Awesome God,

Thank You! We had a change of plans yesterday. A long awaited appointment was surprisingly cancelled at the last minute and I didn't explode. I could have. I thought about it.

Instead I asked You to “grant me the grace to accept with serenity that which I could not change”. And You did. Not only by settling my disappointment, but by reminding me again of what a gift Your grace really is to us.

I asked for grace from another the other day. Circumstances had rapidly gone from bad to worse. Feelings were hurt. Misunderstandings had become heated. And in near desperation, I blurted out my request to be granted some grace.

Mistakes had been made. Sawdust couldn't be resawn. All the confessions of wrong doing fell on deaf ears. And the moment of requested grace, Your genuine peace settled among us.

Thank You God. Thank You that You are our God of grace. Your Word begins (Genesis 6:8-10) and ends (Revelation 21:10-27) with references of the grace You have available to us. Thank You that throughout Its entirety we are shown evidences of Your unmerited favor.

We've done nothing to deserve Your steadfast lovingkindness. Yet You offer it repeatedly. Thank You. Teach me to follow Your example.

Remind me to seek Your “grace in accept[ing] with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.”

Truly Father, I long to live “one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next.”

Yes Father, empower and enable me to relish [enjoy, delight in] any change of plans that may come my way this day. I love You Father. Thank You. Amen.

(354 words ~ 9:33 a.m.)

just like the weather

Sunday, July 19, 2015 (7:30 a.m.)

Most Holy God,

How I thank You. Praise You. Bless You. Want You. Need You.

My face has a smile. I noticed my emotions feeling cloudy. And immediately thought, “just like the weather.”

Blessed God, thank You. Thank You that I get to think. And feel. Hope. And care. So often I believe that I am supposed to control those thoughts and feelings. I work hard at it. Trying desperately to change them.

What an interesting idea it is for me to imagine myself allowing emotions to be just what they are. Fleeting. Ever changing. Uncontrollable. I'm used to judging them. And myself for having them.

What would it be like, just for today, to readily accept every emotion that comes my way. Just like the weather. I can't change it. But I do have the good sense to take cover when necessary.

Father, thank You!!!

I get to turn to Ezekiel 34:11-12 and read Your encouraging words to Your prophet. “For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I myself will search and find my sheep. I will be like a shepherd looking for his scattered flock. I will find my sheep and rescue them from all the places to which they were scattered on that dark and cloudy day.”

Cloudy. Just like the weather. Thank You Father that I get to trust You to be my Shepherd. One who will not only look, but will find me exactly where I am.

I love You. I trust You. Use me to Your good and to Your glory. Thank You Father. Amen.

(267 words ~ 9:56 a.m.)

The Pinnacle of Control

Saturday, July 18, 2015 (7:32 a.m.)

Blessed Holy God,

We're home. Safely. Soundly. In good condition. Not damaged. Or injured. But changed. Different. Father, You blessed us with such safe travels. There were near misses, none with which we were personally involved.

While I thank You for our safety Father, it's the plight of others for which I am here this morning. There's sadness, misunderstandings. Accidents. Fire. All of which I am powerless to control. You, however, are The Pinnacle of Control.

It's pouring down rain right now. Seemingly out of nowhere. But as it turns out, it was forecasted. And while I started to get excited at the chance that this desperately needed rain could change our drought conditions, the reality that a lightening strike could do even more damage is prominent.

Blessed Father, You are in control. All the aspects of every situation I could imagine are all in Your hands. How I ask Your blessings. Your help. Your expertise.

The Gideons

Thursday, July 16, 2015 (10:45 a.m. MT)

Albuquerque, NM

Mm Blessed God,

Let me start with, “Sad”. It just hit. Out of seemingly nowhere. I bring it to You.

A big smile as I started to say, “I don't want it.” How many times do I try to give things back to You? Talk with me this morning about what You want me to do with all the opportunities You provide us.

♫I don't want to miss a thing♫ I really don't Blessed Dad! You bless us continuously. I only have to look around to see all You provide. What I truly long to know is ~ how would You best have us share and use it all?

Proverbs 19:2 tells me, “Zeal without knowledge is not good; a person who moves too quickly may go the wrong way.” I look to You Holy God. Asking YOUR discretion. Your leading.

Peace is replacing the sadness as I turn in the New King James Version with a huge question mark over my head. “Also it is not good for a soul to be without knowledge, and he sins who hastens with his feet.” What does this even mean?

BUT the peace is coming from the fact that The Gideons placed this Bible in this room for people just like me. Travelers feeling sad. Empty. Lost.

Countless souls have been saved due to the commitment of the businessmen who originally got together to share their devotions and decided to do something for others.

They listed meaningful sections of Scripture to HELP IN TIME OF NEED. They have SUGGESTED READINGS for HISTORICAL HIGHLIGHTS, SPIRITUAL STANDARDS, DYNAMIC DOCTRINES, and PRACTICAL PRECEPTS.

Father God, how I thank You for people who care selflessly for others. Care enough to share WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT many topics.

Today I turn to Christian Home Relationships Ephesians 5:22-6:4 Page 1148. What a call! My own understanding of it changed our marriage twenty-two years ago. I'm asking You Father to work in us again. Mightily!

Teach us what it is to truly love and respect one another as the apostle Paul deemed necessary all those years ago.

I have no answers this morning. No giant plans of how we can get back on track of loving YOU with all our hearts, soul, minds and strength (Mark 12:30) and our neighbors [each other] as ourself (v. 31).

Again I turn to Matthew 7:7 asking that it be given to me, seeking that I will find, knocking that the door would be opened. Jesus said, “For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds and to him who knocks, it will be opened” (v. 8).

I'm doing just that. Asking. Seeking. Knocking. Hoping. Praying. Trusting. Wanting. Smiling. And asking some more.

Use us Father. Exactly as You wish. We love You. We long to serve You. Teach me how. Show me how to treat my husband more respectfully, that he will in turn love me “just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her... loving me and himself” (Ephesians 5:25-28).

This is seriously heavy stuff. To which I add only, “Make it so Blessed God. Make it so.” We love You. Teach us to honor You as well. Thank You. Amen.

(548 words ~ 11:47 a.m.)

Believe it and receive it!

(Last Day) Wednesday, July 15, 2015 (7:17 a.m. MT)

Tia's Guest Room

Questa, NM

Holy, Holy God ~

We laughed yesterday. Freely. Without reservation. And it helped. Cleared away some bitterness that was taking root in me. Thank You Father. It felt good. Sounded good. And helped.

Here I stop to ask (Matthew 7:7) where in Your Word You would have us go together this morning?

Genesis. A book of beginnings. Filled with perfection. Followed by sin after sin. Father, how I look to You. Cry out to You. Beseeching You to turn our hearts ~ our egos ~ our very lives to You.

I get to read. Think. Ponder. Wonder. And each vein I take returns me to Your grace. Your goodness. Your loving kindness. It is this I ask for our little band of family this morning.

From Your creation (Genesis 1) to Joseph's death (50:26) many forms of mayhem ensued. None of which took You by surprise.

You enabled and empowered Joseph to stay true to Your commands. You provided his every need. You granted him the loving forgiveness necessary to offer to his brothers (Genesis 37-50:21).

The Life Recovery Bible footnote for 50:15-21 details the fears of Joseph's brothers. They expected him to take revenge on them. “But they discovered that Joseph's forgiveness was complete, with no ulterior motives. Joseph had already granted his brothers complete forgiveness; his brothers couldn't believe it and thus had not yet received it. They had needlessly lived in fear of coming punishment.”

I do that Father. I want not to. Yet I often wait around, wasting precious moments, for another shoe that may never fall. Here I ask You to empower me to USE the loving forgiveness You offer to me. 

“God hands us forgiveness that is just as complete [as Joseph's toward his brothers], but we need to believe it and then receive it. Only then can we experience the freedom He offers.”

Yes, please! Thank You. Amen.

(328 words ~ 8:18 a.m.)

Adopted Family

Tuesday, July 14, 2015 (8:35 a.m. MT)

Tia's Guest Room

Questa, NM

Awesome God ~

Thank You! Thank You for family. Thank You for the love You designed that adopts us into Your family (Ephesians 1:5).

What would it be like to live freely? Absolutely trusting You in every single detail of each day. I confess, I want that. Desperately.

Reading Paul's letter to the Ephesians, I get tiny glimpses of “Yes. This is for me.” Chapter two, verse nineteen, “So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God's holy people. You are members of God's family.”

I believe this Father! As much as I feel a part of my New Mexico family, I long to be that at home with You.

As I continue reading [believing, asking, hoping] I come again to Ephesians 3:14-21, Paul's Prayer for Spiritual Empowering. “When I think of the wisdom and scope of God's plan, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, … And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as You trust in Him. May your roots go down into the soil of God's marvelous love (v. 17) … May He be given glory in the church and in Christ Jesus forever and ever through endless ages. Amen.”

“Driven by God's dynamic and unlimited love… deeply anchored and rooted in the soil of God's love” (The Life Recovery Bible footnotes). Honestly Father, what would it be like to TRULY live this day as Your masterpiece?

“For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10).

I am asking (Matthew 7:7) You to be my “perfect and loving Father”. The One You became the moment I asked Jesus into my life and You adopted me into Your family.

Family. It's a good thing. Help me trust You to supply our every single need. I love You Father. I thank You. Use me. Amen.

(350 words ~ 10:04 a.m.)

Truly beautiful!

Monday, July 13, 2015 (7:43 a.m. MT)

Tia's Guest Room

Questa, NM

Blessed Father God ~

Thank You! Thank You that You keep loving us. It's so beautiful here. Green. Fresh. Clean. Rainy. Windy. Stormy. Cloudy. Beautiful. Truly beautiful!

What is the beauty You have for us this day? Last night we had the beauty of familial fellowship. What a gift! Cousins who had worked hard all day took the time to make visiting with us a priority. Thank You Father.

Thank You for the opportunity to sit here with You. Reading Your Word. Contemplating Your beauty. There is so much hope found in these pages.

Somehow we lose It's power when attempting to apply it to our everyday life. I confess Blessed Father ~ I don't know how to “keep the faith”. To live each day in the strength You provide us (Ephesians 6:10).

I know it's there. I've experienced it in the past. I'm not trying to figure it out. Or do it on my own. I am, however, ASKing (Matthew 7:7) You to do all that only You are able.

I read again the Psalm (51:7) and section of Ezekiel (36:25-27) from yesterday. I revisit Your prophet Ezekiel's experience when You took hold of him and carried him away by Your Spirit to A Valley of Dry Bones (37:1-14).

Blessed Father ~ I believe this stuff! As far fetched and amazing as it all seems, I truly take You at Your Word. Trusting. Believing. Asking. Hoping.

Please continue teaching me how to put You first in each day. ♫It's a new day...♫

I look to You Father, desperately asking You to take out my heart of stony sin and replace it with a new, obedient heart (Ezekiel 36:26).

“Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Do not banish me from Your presence, and don't take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me again the joy of Your salvation and make me willing to obey You” (Psalm 51:10-12).

You are Who we need. You are real! And here come the tears again. I read further. Into Ephesians. “Honesty READ EPHESIANS 4:12-27 We may have grown up believing lies about life, about ourself, about our family. We may still experience confusion and uncertainty because we don't have a strong sense of what is really true.” (Life Recovery Bible).

Let me stop right here with a hearty, “Amen!” Father, I fit this profile perfectly!

Continuing further on, “Since Jesus described Himself as 'the Truth' (John 14:6) and we are to be filled with Him, the recovery process involves becoming 'truth-full'.”

NEW

Sunday, July 12, 2015 (6:43 a.m. MT)

Albuquerque, NM

Awesome God,

Thank You. We had an enjoyable experience on the train yesterday. Meeting new people. Offering words of encouragement to a new university student.

New. Blessed Father, talk to me this morning about all things being new. The very search of the word brings tears to my eyes and a quickening to my heart.

I thought I had the verse for sure – Ezekiel 36:26 [new heart/new spirit]. But still, I kept looking. My mind can't even begin to process all the NEW that is promised us.

There's “a new heaven and a new earth” (Revelation 21:1) seen by the apostle John in his exile on the island of Patmos. I read Your Word and hope rushes toward me. I look away and the doubts just as quickly attempt to take over.

Father, I love You. I trust You. I look to You, believing all Your Word says to be true. I am asking You to get me out of my head.

I read and I am heartened. I think and all I believe gets scrambled. I say I trust You because it reminds me to do exactly that.

You are changing me. I stand around watching as You make gentle [and sometimes not so gentle] shifts in my thinking. Things that used to matter, don't as much. Some of this is good. Really good. And others? HARD!

Thank You again Father for Your Word. Your teachings. Your promises. All that we are shown allowing us to hope in Your making things new (Revelation 21:5).

Thank You for the songs that spring to mind and heart as I continue reading. And hoping. ♫It's a new day. It's a new time...♫

There is SO much hope found in Your Word! Truly, I long to live as though I believe all You have said and taught through the ages.

Do all You must to make it so. Continue Your much needed work in making me new. [Psalm 51:7, 10]. I love You Father. Thank You for calling me to be Your child. Use me as You wish. I love You. Amen.

(363 words ~ 7:55 a.m. MT)

better learning

Saturday, July 11, 2015 (6:02 a.m.)

Amtrak Southwest Chief

East of Winslow, AZ

Most Holy God,

Thank You. Thank You for another safe adventure. Thank You for opening clogged lines of communication. Thank You for a renewed willingness to care. To hope. To want.

(8:56 a.m. MT)

Gallup, NM

Blessed Father, I want my hope to be in You. You are so good. So loving. So faithful. You have so much to teach us. Please prepare me for better learning.

The book of Proverbs has much to say about learning. Your Word is rife with knowledge and warnings. Encouragement and love. How I ask that You would teach me to use it all well.

I love You Father. And I ask that You would make me into the woman You would have me be. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(140 words ~ 10:19 a.m. MT)

perfect love

Friday, July 10, 2015 (7:16 a.m.)

Most Holy God,

Thank You that Your love for us is not based on our deserving it. Thank You that You are good. You are holy. You are love (1 John 4:8; 16).

What does it mean that You are love?

There are many out of the ordinary things taking place today. Events we've been planning. I's we've been dotting and t's we've been crossing. All leading up to another adventure.

With all the details to look at Father how I ask that we not forget You in the process. I confess to having taken a backseat to caring lately. It's too risky. I might get my feelings hurt again.

But living each day in a shell of failed attempts of keeping myself safe from attacks is not really living. It's definitely not loving. It's all based on fear. And Your Word tell us straight out, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18).

Here again. A really nice concept. One of which I have little comprehension.

Thank You that I get to keep coming before You with wonders and doubts. Thank You that in so doing they often turn into praises and worship.

Father, I truly love You. With the flawed love of an imperfect person. Thank You that You in turn love each of us with Your perfect love. That perfect love which casts out all fear.

The Message says, “God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us.This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we're free of worry on Judgment Day – our standing in the world is identical with Christ's. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life – fear of death, fear of judgment – is one not yet fully formed in love.”

I sit here nodding my head. Absolutely wanting to live my life FREE of crippling fear. I confess Bless Father, I don't know how to do that. I turn to You. I trust in You. I ask You to do all I am unable and unwilling to do to allow Your perfect love to have run of this home.

You are good. You are holy. You are love. Perfect love. And I want desperately to love as You would have me love. Make it so Blessed Dad. Make it so.

I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(450 words ~ 8:49 a.m.)

wakeful

Thursday, July 9, 2015 (6:25 a.m.)

Blessed, Holy God,

Thank You that my first wakeful thought was to pray for a friend this morning. Thank You that in so doing I immediately started singing, ♫Blessed Be The Name of The Lord♫

Blessed Father, talk with me this morning about what it is that we experience in being blessed by You. This morning's song continues ♫He is worthy to be praised and adored So we lift up holy hands in one accord Singing blessed be the name Blessed be the name Blessed be the name of the Lord♫

Mm, yes! What would it be like to turn to You in all occasions? Knowing, believing, fully trusting You to have our backs? Here I speak for myself. I am again becoming hyper-vigilant. Always on the lookout for the next upheaval. Anticipating one thing after another to go wrong.

This is not the way I believe You to want us living out our days here. Where is the love? The joy? The peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23a)?

Jesus called us to live in Him (John 15:4). How do I do that? Blessed Lord and Father, how do I get out of my self-imposed prison of thinking I am who needs to protect myself? And allow You to be the good God that You are?

As we can clearly see, I have far more questions than answers this morning. Ah, but the answers that speak most clearly of all are found in Your Word. Trust. Hope. Have faith.

Hmm. Indeed. Your Word, Your Truth promises us rest (Hebrews 4:1-3). I get to choose. In every single circumstance. I can drop my guard and allow You to act on my behalf. Or I can continue spinning my wheels and going nowhere.

Blessed Father, how I ask You to intervene. Do all You must in me, by me, for me, with me, through me to grow me into the woman You would have me be. Fruitful. Loving. Kind. Joyful. Yours!

I love You, Father. I pray for my friend this morning. Turn her challenges into triumphs. Work Your will into her circumstances that she and her entire family would be immensely blessed by Your presence.

You are our Rock (Psalm 62:2). Our very place of safety (v. 8). Thank You for reminding me yet again that ♫My life is in You, Lord. My strength is in You, Lord. My hope is in You, Lord. In You, it's in You...♫

And as I go into this day how I pray, asking (Matthew 7:7) that You would empower and enable us to live it according to Your will and Your way.

Truly hear my prayer as I sing ♫I will praise You with all of my life. I will praise You with all of my strength. With all of my life, with all of my strength All my hope is in You♫

Yes Blessed Father, let us live this day in You! All else aside; be glorified by the decisions we make, the words that we speak. We love You Blessed Father. Let it show for the whole world to see. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(532 words ~ 7:56 a.m.)

set free

Wednesday, July 8, 2015 (7:10 a.m.)

Most Holy God,

I love You. I thank You. I want You. I ask You. You are good. You are able. You are holy. And I don't even know where to go from here.

Yesterday I noticed myself pondering the difference between getting “set off” and being “set free”. Thank You

in Truth

Tuesday, July 7, 2015 (1:58 p.m.)

Blessed Father God,

I realized something today. My spirit is broken. Which on one hand might be a good thing, because I'd MUCH rather have Your Spirit than mine any day. But on the other hand, I see myself so very less joyful than ever before.

I woke up reciting the first part of the original Serenity Prayer. You know? The one asking You to grant me the grace to accept with serenity that which I cannot change, the courage to change that which I ought and wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

I followed that with the Lord's Prayer. Calling out to You, “Our Father which art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil for Thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.”

After that came wonders of other translations. And the TRUTH between feelings and facts. Just because I FEEL sad does not mean I AM sad.

In Truth, I am blessed! Loved.

But then come the “shoulds”. If I'm so blessed and so loved shouldn't I be joyful as well? And that leads me to wonder where did all the joy go? Did I ever really have it anyway? What's real?

And again I turn to Your Word. Finding my joy in the lament of Your prophet Jeremiah.

Blessed Father, how I thank You for providing for my every need. Thank You for meeting me here in the introduction of Lamentations.

“Jeremiah didn't mince his words or hide his pain. He wept openly and fully. His example can help us as we grieve our own losses.”

And with that Blessed Lord I am full on confessing to You my own loss of hope.

I look around me and see sadnesses. Frustrations. Decline.

As I continue reading this book's intro I am somewhat heartened by this Truth, “Lamentations does not provide pat answers for the suffering we experience in life. As we read, we discover that it is all right to be real, to be angry with God, to be disappointed with life, and to despair about what tomorrow holds for us.”

Thank You for this Truth Father. We are SAFE in You. With You.

“Jeremiah gained comfort as he honestly told God how he hurt. God accepted Jeremiah as he was – angry, tired, and discouraged.”

Blessed Father, my joy is found in these words – penned thousands of years before I ever had need of them. “Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The unfailing love of the LORD never ends! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness. His mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my inheritance, therefore, I will hope in Him!'” (Lamentations 3:21-24)

So here we have it Father. Me judging myself unmercifully for not feeling happy and joyful enough in comparison to the immense blessings You have provided us. Here I give You a bag full of shoulds and doubts.

I believe You to be “strong enough to lift our burdens and loving enough to mend our broken heart” (The Life Recovery Bible Hope).

Thank You Blessed Father for Your mercy and Your grace. Thank You for Your unfailing, never ending love for each of us. Thank You that at no time is it ever based on our deserving it.

You are good. You are kind. And I truly want to be all that You would have me be. Created in Your image (Genesis 1:26). Do all You must in helping me 'overcome the setbacks and gain a new perspective' (TLRB Lamentations 3:21-26 comment) on the life You would have me live.

I love You Father. And I genuinely long to be joyful and loving again. You can make it so. I ask (Matthew 7:7) You because I trust You (Proverbs 3:5-6). Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(700 words ~ 3:07 p.m.)

the glory of the Lord

Monday, July 6, 2015 (6:41 a.m.)

What's it going to take God,

For me stop grumbling and growling? Whining and whimpering? Another Psalty song and a smile!

♫(Don't You Know) It's Time to Praise the Lord, in the sanctuary of His Holy Spirit. So set your mind on Him, and let the praise begin, and the glory of the Lord will fill this place♫

It's true. Every time I set myself aside and start praising and thanking You, the faintest hint of a smile graces my face. With it comes an upturn of thoughts and feelings. Recovery terms encourage us to act on facts, not feelings. Work with me to that end Blessed Father.

The second verse to this little ditty sings out, ♫He lives within the praises of His people. He loves to hear them call upon His name. So set your mind on Him. And let the praise begin. And the glory of the Lord will fill this place♫

That is what I am asking this morning Blessed Father. Your glory. This place. I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(182 words ~ 7:09 a.m.)

One Nation Under God

Saturday, July 4, 2015 (7:28 a.m.)

Gloriously Awesome God,

Good morning. Happy Fourth of July. How I ask (Matthew 7:7) You to bless America this day. I look through the PATRIOTIC section of The Hymnal for Worship & Celebration not finding ♫God Bless America♫ This is however my plea.

We are a truly blessed nation. YOU blessed us as such. I look to You asking You to forgive the mistakes being made. 2 Chronicles 7:14 says, “If My people... will humble themselves... then will I … heal their land.” How I ask You to save us from the destruction many foresee us heading toward.

♫If My People's Hearts Are Humbled, If they pray and seek My face; If they turn away from evil, I will not withhold My grace♫ You are our good and forgiving God. We are a sinful, selfish lot. Do all You must to bring about Your grace. Your mercy. Your blessings.

Psalm 33 speaks of the power and trustworthiness we have in You. We are called to sing songs of praise to You. Verse 12 reminds us, “What joy for the nation whose God is the LORD, whose people He has chosen for His own.”

Glorious Father, how I ask You to bring about all that is necessary for us to truly BE “One Nation Under God”. I love You. I long to serve You. Empower and embolden me to speak Your Truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) as You would have me do. ONLY as You would have me do!

I love You. I thank You and I truly ask You to PLEASE forgive and bless America. Our blessed country deemed, “One Nation Under God”. Make it so Blessed Father. Make it so.

Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(295 words ~ 8:10 a.m.)

gusto

Friday, July 3, 2015 (6:11 a.m.)

Awesome God,

I laughed yesterday. A real, true, unexpected, heartfelt laugh. And it helped me realize what a long time it's been since I've laughed that freely. Explosively. And deeply.

See? Even that's funny, since I was underwater at the time!

Father, thank You for the opportunity to laugh with such gusto. And see there? Even the word gusto is the antonym for apathy and distaste.

Originating in early 17^th century Italian, coming from the Latin word gustus, meaning 'taste.'

And may I just say, “WOW!” Really, truly, deeply and with great gusto, “WOW!” I thought I was coming here to talk with You about my innate need to laugh more. Not!

What I absolutely need is to feast on Your Word. And every single time I start, there's just so many more verses to partake!

I thought Deuteronomy 8:3 was it. The people of Israel were called to remember Your care of them during their forty years in the wilderness with You. They were reminded of the manna You provided them. “He did it to teach you that people need more than bread for their life; real life comes by feeding on every word of the LORD.”

Oh, but then I read over in Jeremiah 15:16, “Your words are what sustain me. They bring me great joy and are my heart's delight, for I bear Your name O LORD God Almighty.”

As I prepare to go out and start the day, I ask You (Matthew 7:7) to take all the things I think I need [more laughter for one] and replace them with what You know is best. I need YOU! That is paramount! From there, You figure it out. Apprise me as necessary.

I love You. I long to serve You. Glorify and enjoy You forever. Whatever that looks like according to Your will and Your way.

Thank You for a genuine gift of laughter yesterday. Grant me another glimpse of [Your] goodness today, I pray. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(340 words ~ 7:41 a.m.)

in all things

Thursday, July 2, 2015 (6:42 a.m.)

Blessed Father,

Thank You. Alleluia.

Speak to me please.

Why is it so easy, natural even, to give You the glory when emotions are running smooth?

Praise the Lord? No problem. Provided... I FEEL like it. That's not what Your Word commands.

Paul told the believers in Thessalonica to “Always be joyful. Keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5: 14-18 The Living Bible).

That's a tall order. One I cannot possibly carry out on my own. I believe that's why You sent Your Holy Spirit. To live in each of us. Guiding us. Directing us.

So, why is it then that I growl so much? Instead of praising You and giving thanks in all things, I gripe. I continue wanting everything to be according to my liking.

I still try to figure out end results, working desperately hard to get us there. How do I learn to simply let go and let You be the God You are.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to hear a loved one retell an incredible experience. We were both in the moment. Excited. Adrenalin pumped. Truly agog.

Hmm... here I stop and again ask You (Matthew 7:7) to continue teaching me to keep looking for the glimpses of Your glory. I forget. I become sidetracked.

You are good. Your Way is best. There are always going to be circumstances that upset my apple cart. Teach me to sing out Your praises especially loud during those times.

I haven't been liking my attitude. I've become surly. Unpleasant. Moody. For the longest time. You are far too good for me to continue behaving this way.

Do all You must in, with, by, through and for me that I would come to reflect You so much better than I have recently.

Father God, I love You. Truly I do. Counter the times I say, “I don't care. It doesn't matter” with “God does!”

You DO care! You DO matter! Take me far away from bitterness and resentment. Bring me back to loving and kind. Peaceful and patient.

I love You. I long to represent You well. Guide and direct me to this end. That I would truly give You the glory and honor You so rightly deserve.

I love You Father. And I desperately want to give You thanks in all things. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(409 words ~ 8:01 a.m.)

even better

Wednesday, July 1, 2015 (6:43 a.m.)

Blessed God,

I love You. It's me I'm having trouble with. I keep “flying off the handle”.

Thank You that I have such easy access to even finding out what that phrase references. “To lose one's temper.” Oh, but this just got even better!

The origin is American and it “alludes to the uncontrolled way a loose axe-head flies off from its handle”. Meaning? “Lose self control.”

Isn't self-control a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:23)? Yes. It's one of the first Bible phrases [The Living Bible] I was able to learn, some 30 years ago.

“But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives He will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control; and here there is no conflict with Jewish laws.”

It absolutely seems that recently circumstances have been controlling my life. Things seemingly go “my” way and all is well. Let something unplanned come along and Bam! There goes the axe head.

Father God, thank You for redirecting my thoughts this morning. Coming to You is SUCH a good idea. Thank You for affording me this opportunity.

I am asking (Matthew 7:7) You to keep an especially close watch on me today. I get to sit here reading much about satan being a defeated enemy. Teach me to use the powerful weapons You have provided for use in our encounters with him.

Again I say, I love You. Thank You for including me as one of Your own. Reading further in Your Word, New Century Version says, “We know that those who are God's children do not continue to sin. The Son of God keeps them safe and the evil one cannot touch them” (1 John 5:18). Make that so in my life.

I truly feel tossed around by discord and dissonance these days. Take back the control I continue attempting to wrestle from Your hands. I want very much to allow the Holy Spirit to control my actions and reactions. Empower, embolden, enable me to bring You praises. Let my words, responses, behaviors be music to Your ears.

I love You Father. Grow me in Your Way this day. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(375 words ~ 8:17 a.m.)