confident

Saturday, May 18, 2013 (7:22 a.m.)

Blessed, Awesome God,

I love You. I'm grateful and I want that to be evident in my attitude, my being, my thoughts and my actions this day. You provided me a day of personal interactions yesterday. There was driving and visits and food and my self-confidence took more than a few hits.

Because You are such a good and awesome God, I get to bring even a shattered sense of self-esteem before You and smile as I watch You transform it into something worthwhile. Father God, thank You.

Thank You that while my first inclination this morning was to look up words like: dissatisfied, discontent, reflection and self-conscious; “confident” is what stuck and is holding firm. Father, thank You. I never knew. The roots of the word, whether in French, Italian or Latin, when put together mean 'having full trust'. While that is absolutely NOT what I have in myself, it is certainly what I know to be true in, with and through You.

The fact that I am here, wanting to focus on You and Your Truth rather than on my own hurt and feeble feelings is clear evidence to this. Though tears blur my vision, I am excited to continue reading what Your Word has to say about being confident.

1John 5:13-15 in The Message was the last of thirty-two entries and while it spoke loudest to me, Philippians 1:6 also muscled it's way into my thoughts. Father God, I am so extremely grateful to You for Your Word. It truly has the power to change everything. Even/especially a “little girl's” really hurt feelings!

Beginning the passage with italtics I was drawn in by the use of a word from the other day, “[The Reality, Not the Illusion]”. Yeah. I desperately crave reality! From there it goes on, “My purpose in writing is simply this: that you who believe in God's Son will know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you have eternal life, the reality and not the illusion. And how bold and free we then become in His presence, freely asking according to His will, sure He is listening. And if we're confident that He's listening, we know that what we've asked for is as good as ours.”

When I began my time here with You an hour ago, I did not want to whine and feel dissatisfied. The antonym was 'contented'. That's what I asked to be. And You have presented it to me. Thank You Father.

I get to keep unwrapping this package of contentment and become confident in the process. Reading a seventh step devotional entitled Eyes of Love I am told, “God's primary goal is to make us holy – that is, to form His character in us. Looking through the eyes of love, He already sees us as we will look when His work is done... It is clearly God's will to have our shortcomings removed. And He has promised to give us anything we ask for within His will. Therefore, we can have full confidence that God will remove our shortcomings in His time.”

I see it happening Father. I've wtached You work in me for all these years. And yes, I still get impatient. But just like this current time spent with You in Your Word, “I am confident [certain, sure, having full trust] that the Creator, who has begun such a great work among you, will not stop in mid-design but will keep perfecting you until the day Jesus the Anointed, our Liberating King, returns to redeem the world” (Philippians 1:6 The Voice).

Yes Father. Because of You and Your everlasting Word, I'm confident. And so very grateful. Thank You Father. I love You. Use me well this day I pray. Amen.

(632 words ~ 8:39 a.m.)