HONESTY!

Wednesday, November 27, 2013 (4:16 p.m.)

Awesome, Incredible, Wonderful, Holy Father God,

Thank You! Honesty. Honesty with You. With myself. And others. Thank You Father.

Thanksgiving Thursday, November 28, 2013 (6:49 a.m.)

So there I was. Excited. Eager. Ready to conquer the world. And then... I lost my food preparation groove. Things that are usually second nature to me, went right out the window. I couldn't find ingredients. Even had to take a late night grocery run only to come back and remember where I had put the coveted yeast. And the seemingly logical reasoning for having put it in a different place.

Father, here I am in honesty, confessing my pridefulness. Oh Lord God, what a lesson to be learned from coming to believe I can do my aunt's signature rolls in my sleep! With every bit of awareness before me, I keep making mistakes.

This recipe is not new to me. I've made the dough for decades. Thank You for reminding me that I am to take nothing for granted. In the scheme of life, a less than perfect recipe result is not catastrophic. In honesty, it's my pride that has taken a well deserved ding.

Although I didn't speak my thoughts out loud the other morning, my own critical voice echoed loudly within my mind. At an impromptu feast-like gathering, a rather outspoken young woman eagerly shared the rolls she'd made using her grandmother's recipe. While she readily admitted they didn't turn out well, judgments swept through my mind like crazy. “They're too hard.” “Too small.” “Overdone.”

Honesty? Father, please forgive my critical nature. Very late last night I confessed out loud that the only way these rolls will rise is by Your good grace. Me keeping face is not a good enough reason to pray this hard asking You to breathe life into this seemingly dying dough.

I know You are the God of infinite ability. So rather than waste Your time and energy on something as banal as my pride, I am asking that Your will be done here Father.

There was one thing (rolls) I was asked to bring to a celebratory gathering today. Those same things I was going to readily share with other eager recipients. Should this not work out as I had planned, Lord, I ask that their disappointment not be great.

Did I do my best? I think so. Was my best good enough? In this case, we have to wait and see. What I DO know is that I can't continue believing that just because I've done the same thing the same way all these years that I will always have success.

Thank You Father for another well deserved lesson in honesty and pride. I ask that You will use this day, this day set aside for us to give thanks for the tremendous blessings You readily bestow upon us, to Your good and to Your glory. I love You Father. And I truly thank You for honesty. Let me use it well. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(509 words ~ 7:38 a.m.)

another day

Wednesday, November 27, 2013 (6:50 a.m.)

Holy Father God,

Thank You. Thank You for safety in driving. Thank You for restful sleep. Thank You for practice in giving You thanks.

Thank You that as I looked up THANKSGIVING in The Hymnal for Worship & Celebration I came across ♫Another Year Is Dawning♫

(12:04 p.m.)

And then the phone rang with sad news.

Father, I don't handle other people's sadness well. Often I become equally sad. I'm not sure that this is the case here, but I DO know I've been avoiding You ever since the call came.

I went to exercise. Came back. Sat down. Got up. Ate something. Snacked. Randomly ate more. Played a couple of crosswords online. ANY thing to keep from being honest with You!

Father God, I wanted to celebrate You and the truth that not only is another year preparing to dawn, but every single day is a new day with You. I had lined through 'year' quite some time ago and inserted 'day' to go with this thought. But now? No.

I want to whine. To say things like, “It's not fair.” “I hate to see people suffer.” “I'm tired.” “I don't want to keep trying.” Wah, wah, wah.

Forgive me Father. I want to be thankful. And in truth, I AM thankful! None of this life is what I expected. And so much of it is so much better than I could ever have imagined. Forgive me this momentary sadness. Forgive my recklessness in trying to avoid You.

Take me instead into Your heart of hearts. Let me lean into Your all encompassing embrace. Maybe tomorrow will be the one where I can ask You to “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12).

Today is the one where my cousin is sad. Sadder than she's been in a really long time. Sad to the point of despair and all I can do is pray. And it never seems like enough. How can I even say something like this to You?

That praying doesn't seem like enough? I pray for healing. And strength. And courage. And hope. And change. And … it all seems to go unnoticed. Unanswered. And I know that isn't true. I know You have blessings untold. Blessings that abound. Blessings to provide.

And yet I keep fighting within myself. I start to rise above the stuff. And then I fall back into it. There are things I know I can do and I keep refusing. There's a part of me that wants to say “NYET!” NO! I don't want to to do this. I don't want to think this. I don't want to be this. No! Nyet! Nein!

But then there's the part that knows Your Way is the best way. We may not like it. It may not be easy. But Your Way really, truly IS the best way. So here I am Father. Grumpy. Angry.

(1:27 p.m.)

Okay. So another couple of phone calls to break the mood AND to remind me of just what a good and gracious God You really are.

Thank You Father. Thank You for speaking Your Truth to me through another loved one. Thank You for reminding me to get up off my bottom and to move my muscles. Thank You for some time spent outside in the warmth of the sunlight and the beauty of the crystal clear blue sky.

Thank You for chores to do. Dishes to wash. Sheets to change. Laundry to sort. Thank You for helping me become just a little more thankful.

Thank You again for the original song I started singing to You this morning. ♫Another Year Day Is Dawning: Dear Father, let it be, In working or in waiting, Another year day with Thee; Another day of progress, Another day of praise, Another day of proving Thy presence all the days.♫

♫Another day of mercies, Of faithfulness and grace; Another day of gladness In the shining of Thy face; Another day of leaning Upon Thy loving breast; Another day of trusting Of quiet, happy rest.♫

Father, thank You. Thank You that now I do get to come before You willingly. You allowed me to be honest with my concerns and now I get to be equally open with the rest of the song. ♫Another day of service, Of witness for Thy love; Another day of training For holier work above. Another day is dawning: Dear Father, let it be, On earth or else in heaven, Another day for Thee.♫

Blessed Father, I thank You and thank You and thank You again for the opportunity of coming before You exactly as I am. ♫Just as I am, without one plea But that Thy blood was shed for me And that Thou bidd'st me come to Thee, O Lamb of God, I come! I come!♫

As this particular day draws closer to dusk than dawn still I ask You to speak the Truth of Psalm 90:12 into my heart. My soul. My mind. Even my strength (Mark 12:30). Let me love You with all I have as You “Teach us to number our days and recognize how few they are; help us to spend them as we should.” Glorifying and enjoying YOU!

Thank You for the necessary reminders of just how much You love us. Thank You Father for Your love. Your sacrifice and all that comes along with it. Let me use what You have for me well the rest of this day and again tomorrow as I begin another day. Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(1:58 p.m.)

the chief end of man

Tuesday, November 26, 2013 (7:14 a.m.)

Holy Father God,

Two days ago we were talking together about the chief end of man. Pouring over the referenced verses of The Westminster Shorter Catechism I find I have far more questions than answers as to what I believe and why.

What do I believe? “Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.” Why do I believe it? It's what I was taught growing up in The Presbyterian Church U.S.A. Do I still believe this? Yeah. I do.

Reading the referenced verses as to what is the chief end of man, has led me to the next question of the catechism. “What rule hath God given to direct us how we may glorify and enjoy Him?” The answer listed is, “The Word of God, which is contained in the Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments, [a] is the only rule to direct us how we may glorify and enjoy Him. [b]”

Thus it seems the two aspects of my chief end each day are: [a] glorify You and [b] enjoy You forever. Looking up the referenced verses I started feeling the dread of following all the rules You set forth in Your commandments. I know how flawed I am. I know how easily I make mistakes. The list is too long. There's too great a margin of error.

Then I remembered the religious leaders who were trying to trap Jesus with their questions. When asked which of the commandments is the most important, “Jesus replied, 'The one that says, “Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only God. And you must love Him with all your heart and soul and mind and strength.” 'The second is: “You must love others as much as yourself.” No other commandments are greater than these'” (Mark 12:29-31).

I am not saying that I can ever hope to do this perfectly. I am thanking You however for breaking it down for me! Know that You are one. Love You. Love others. Which puts me back into the circle of learning what love is (1Corinthians 13:4-7) and not only loving much but well (Philippians 1:9 The Message).

Father God, thank You. Thank You for time together. Thank You for time to consider all that You have for us to enjoy. Work in me that I would truly come to glorify You and to enjoy You, not just this day but forever.

Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(418 words ~ 8:06 a.m.)

back to basics

Sunday, November 24, 2013 (7:39 a.m.)

Holy Father God,

Thank You for warmth and sunshine and creature comforts. Thank You for time spent with family members last evening, enjoying one another's company and a musical presentation. Thank You for talented people and their dedication to their craft.

Thank You Father for simple things. Honesty. Laughter. Hope.

(10:12 a.m.)

Simple things. Basic things. Back to basics. The chief end of man...

flexing our power in You

Saturday, November 23, 2013 (7:37 a.m.)

Blessed Father God,

Thank You. A full, uninterrupted night's sleep. Even though night time cold capsules were involved, I am truly grateful for the gift of sleeping completely through the night. Thank You Father. Thank You.

(3:22 p.m.)

All these hours later and still I am grateful to You, Father. A fully set table and my brother joining us for breakfast was another blessing to add to the list of all You do for us each day. Father, thank You for calling me to gratitude.

Thank You for calling us to love, as You would have us love. With all of our hearts, souls, minds and strength (Mark 12:30). It is because of Your love and Your love only that we have the strength to continue through the rough times over to the grateful ones.

As I sit here rejoicing in a truly blessed environment, I ask You Father to keep growing me in Your strength and power. Attempting joyfulness on my own doesn't yield bliss. Wanting to know You more and serve You better brings about the glimpses of the joy I long for. Thank You Father. Thank You.

Having the opportunity to come before You asking that You would grow my joy and faith muscles, I thank You for the guiding me to Romans 12:3. In the overview of Paul's letter to the Romans, The Life Recovery Bible says, “It [his letter about how to live] teaches us how to deal with our sinful attitudes and behaviors and how to get back on the right track.”

Under the Recovery Themes I read, “The Role of Faith: Much of this letter is a description of the importance of faith or trust in God. 'The man who finds life will find it through trusting God' (1:17)... There is no magic formula for this – it is a daily act of trust, putting our hand in the hand of the all-powerful God, who promises never to forsake us, and to always love us no matter how unlovable we are.”

To this Dearest Father, all I can say is thank You! 

Quoting Paul's words to the Romans (12:3 The Message), “I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what He does for us, not by what we are and what we do for Him.”

You are the Ultimate Sacrificer! You gave us Your Son that we “may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows]” (John 10:10 Amplified Bible). I get to experience that life when I pay attention to it having come only from You. Father thank You for the reminders You give me of the importance of flexing our faith muscles.

Empower and enable me to continue doing exactly that. Trusting. Believing. Living each day for Your good and Your glory. Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(544 words ~ 4:28 p.m.)

blessings abound

Friday, November 22, 2013 (2:00 p.m.)

Most Holy God and Father,

I can barely stand it! Things have gone really well this day! From the moment twelve hours ago when our son put his dad's and my health and welfare above his own travel needs, to getting to sleep uninterrupted, to waking refreshed. Renewed. Having time to make homemade beef and barely soup, coupled with a fresh homemade third generation roll recipe. Blessings abound Dearest Father! Blessings truly abound!

Time spent with dear friends yesterday opened my heart to a lightness it hasn't felt in quite some time. There is an eagerness that has been sorely missed. Sheer delight in the simplest of events.

Father, thank You. Thank You for the warmth and dryness we are experiencing inside during the wind and rain outside. Thank You for evolving plans and the ability to change courses depending on the circumstances. Thank You Father for the love for You that seems to be guiding steps and decisions. Thank You Father. Thank You for blessings that truly abound!

I love You. Enable and empower me to use the abounding blessings of Your love for Your good and Your glory. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(202 words ~ 2:45 p.m.)

captured thoughts

Friday, November 22, 2013 (6:58 a.m.)

Most Dear and Blessed Father God,

Today is the anniversary of a United States of America tragedy. 50 years ago a beloved president was shot and killed. Millions have watched through the years as the incident has played over and over again on television and in the movies.

(8:21 a.m.)

And right here, I stop and change directions!

My plan? Rehash, relive, remember the Kennedy tragedy all over again. Thank You Father for reminding me of Jesus' words in John 16:33. Unlike the people of this world who are completely unaware of what is coming next at any given moment, Jesus knew.

He was speaking to His followers. Preparing them as best He could for all that was to come. He let them know full well that, “I have told you all this so that you will have peace of heart and mind. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows; but cheer up, for I have overcome the world” (TLB).

Cheer up! Be of good cheer. Be confident. Be encouraged! Be brave! Be of good courage. Have confidence. Take heart. Be of good comfort. Be courageous. Never lose heart. Have courage! Take courage. Take hope! You need not fear. Be glad. Trust ye.

These words. Each used in a different translation or paraphrase. All to remind us Who ultimately has “power over the world” (Worldwide English). Jesus “triumphed over this corrupt world order” (The Voice). To this we say thank You Father!

Thank You that NONE of the tragedy that comes into this world goes unnoticed by You. Thank You that while we certainly can get caught up in the sadness and despair, YOU have provided us the antidote to our own thought process.

The apostle Paul wrote to the people of Corinth with these encouragingly wise words, “The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight battles that way – never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity” (2Corinthians 10:3-5 The Message). All this loosely translated to 'taking all our thoughts captive'.

You helped me do that this morning. As I feared one thing and another, remembered tragically sad memories, You reminded me that this is also the date in history that a fine young man was born. It is also the day that a middle aged woman decided she just didn't want to drink anymore. When we capture our thoughts, You are able to change our hearts, our souls, even our strength.

Father, thank You. Use me this day to bring You glory. I love You Father. Thank You! Amen.

(510 words ~ 9:42 a.m.)

traveling mercies

Friday, November 22, 2013 (6:29 a.m.)

Blessed Father God,

This morning I am here asking Your travel mercies and hedge of protection for our son. It's cold. Rainy. Wet. And his schedule calls for him to drive far and to different places in the most closely timed window.

Our original plan was to travel with him, allowing for high occupancy vehicle shortcuts. This no longer seems the best avenue. Father, while agonizing over this thought throughout the night I was reminded to put him completely in Your care. I do!

The fear. The desire to help. It all washed away as I remembered that placing Him in Your safe and capable hands was a far better idea than trying to run him here and there on our own.

Father God. We love You. We need You. We call upon Your most holy name, depending on You to keep him safe and whole and on time to all his calls. Do in and through and with and for him exactly as You know he needs. Be his comfort and his strength. Bless him. Keep him. Make Your face shine upon him. Be gracious to him. Turn Your face toward him and give him Your peace (Numbers 6:24-26).

Most Dear and Beloved Father God, this I ask in Your Son's most holy name. Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(229 words ~ 6:46 a.m.)

communication

Thursday, November 21, 2013 (5:16 a.m.)

Holy Father God,

Good morning. I love You. Thank You. Last night I asked You for some added relief from the cough I currently have. You (along with the suppressant) allowed me five uninterrupted hours. Thank You Father.

Thank You too for the work You are continuing in helping us communicate with one another around here. There's a level of maturity that is becoming more and more consistent. Reliable. Real. Saying what we mean and meaning what we say is almost second nature for us. Games of quasi-manipulation are quite nearly a thing of the past. And we have YOU to thank for it all!

Thank You Father. Thank You for constantly showing us the power of words and the importance of choosing (and using) them wisely. You are absolutely behind the changes taking place around here. And we are grateful. Truly grateful.

Today I ask You Father to make us ever more aware of the importance of communicating Your love and Your Truth with others. The apostle Paul encouraged a younger Timothy to “Don't waste time arguing over foolish ideas and silly myths and legends. Spend your time and energy in the exercise of keeping spiritually fit” (1Timothy 4:7).

Far too often and easily we lose sight of our chief purpose here, to glorify You and enjoy You forever. We want things to go our way instead of Yours. Thank You for reminders that pull us back to wanting to do things Your way. To speak Truth. In love (Ephesians 4:15).

Glorious Father, the more I read in Your Word the more eager and excited (AGOG!) I become. You do this. We come to You. Hungry. And You fill us. Thank You Father.

Use me this day. Exactly as You wish. Keep growing and filling me with Your Son (Ephesians 4:13) that I would truly live each moment as part of Your whole body of Believers, “healthy and growing and full of love” (v.16).

Mm, yes! Let that be my prayer of the day: “Healthy, growing and full of love.” Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(354 words ~ 6:37 a.m.)

giving God the glory, glory

Wednesday, November 20, 2013 (6:44 a.m.)

Blessed Father,

Thank You. You changed my attitude yesterday. When I thought I was going to spend time confessing my own faults and misguidances, You reminded me of the importance of giving You glory. Thank You Father!

That Truth in itself saved me from a day potentially filled with anger and remorse. Instead, it provided me better choices and a lot of joy.

As soon as I asked You yesterday about giving You glory I started singing ♫So rise and shine and give God the glory, glory...♫ This cheerful children's song led me directly to Your Word where I was again reminded of so many of the opportunities we have throughout each day.

Father, thank You. Thank You for 'the light of Your glory that burns away darkness'. The book of Isaiah was written “to confront the people of Judah with their sin and denial and to inspire them to rebuild their lives on God's promises.” That is exactly what I was coming to You in need of yesterday.

Rising and shining and giving You the glory, glory led me straight to Isaiah 60:1. “Arise, my people! Let your light shine for all the nations to see! For the glory of the Lord is streaming from you.” Which led me to get up. Make better choices. Let some things go. Build up rather than tear down. Speak encouraging words instead of discouraging ones. All because of a song from our children's youth.

Father God, thank You. Thank You for the love You have for each of us. Thank You for Your desire 'to transform all of us and then to use us to bring Your Truth to others' (The Life Recovery Bible comment).

I ask You for that this morning Dearest God. Transform and use me to bring Your Truth to others. Let me truly ♫Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory♫ Enable and empower me to making good choices this day. Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(337 words ~ 7:35 a.m.)

rise and shine

Tuesday, November 19, 2013 (6:46 a.m.)

Blessed Father God,

I love You. I confess to feeling disillusioned. Disappointed. Frustrated. Will You talk with me this morning about the things that will give You glory instead of the list of moans and groans I thought I'd bring to You?

(3:54 p.m.)

And talk to me you have done!

Father, thank You! We started off almost immediately by singing

best intentions

Sunday, November 17, 2013 (8:30 a.m.)

Monday, November 18, 2013 (5:56 a.m.)

Best intentions. I am filled with them.

Get started here. A distraction there. An unexpected interruption. Absolute plans of coming back. And another day gone by.

Father God, how I thank You that Your love for us is not based on our perfection. Not even on our best intentions.

And here I get to thank You and thank You again and again! While I had planned to confess to You the myriad of attempts I have made and the distractions that followed, I'm instead rejoicing over the hope I find in Your Word.

While this hope does not release me to repeat mistakes, it reminds me that the apostle Paul struggled with his own best intentions (Romans 7:17-20 The Message). Father, thank You for his willingness to share his own weaknesses.

As I turn the page away from The Struggle Within (The Life Recovery Bible) I read The Holy Spirit Offers Freedom (Romans 8). Thank You Father. Thank You.

The Illustrated Bible Handbook reminds me that “Romans 8 affirms our release from condemnation.” As I keep struggling with my own best intentions of which Paul seemingly wrote, “I try, but I cannot!” (loosely Romans 7:23-25) I am more than buoyed by the hope, “I cannot, but the Holy Spirit within me will!”

Here is where I must confess! I have all but forgotten the power of Your precious Holy Spirit. I keep trying. Failing. Trying again. Without first coming to You asking for the healing power of Your Holy Spirit.

This morning may I please be rid of my own best intentions? Instead I truly ask for Your best! Whatever that looks like. Guide and direct me this day I pray. I love You. I long to serve You. And I ask that I be empowered by Your Holy Spirit to do as You wish. Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(324 words ~ 6:40 a.m.)

GOOD God

Saturday, November 16, 2013 (5:50 a.m.)

GOOD God,

Good, blessed, holy, righteous, loving, merciful God. Thank You. While waking much earlier I was again reminded that You are good. Psalm 145:9 in The Message backs me up on this. “God is good to one and all; everything He does is suffused with grace.”

I got to speak of Your goodness last evening. To a young single mom. And I was encouraged in the process. You are loving. Merciful. Kind. We have no idea of Your specific plan for each of us. And right in the middle of that thought, a song by Jesus Culture:

♫Higher than the mountains that I face, Stronger than the power of the grave, Constant through the trial and the change, One thing remains, One thing remains, Your love never fails, It never gives up, It never runs out on me♫

Your love. Spelled out for us in 1Corinthians 13:4-7. ♫On and on and on and on it goes, It overwhelms and satisfies my soul, And I never ever have to be afraid, One thing remains, In death and in life I'm confident and covered by the power of Your great love, My debt is paid there's nothing that can separate my heart from Your great love♫

Why? Because You are good. Our GOOD God. Thank You Father. Use me as You will this day to share Your goodness openly and freely. I love You Father. And I thank You. Amen.

(247 words ~ 6:54 a.m.)

smiling

Friday, November 15, 2013 (7:20 a.m.)

Loving Father,

Thank You. I keep getting little glimpses of Your presence. When I unexpectedly catch myself smiling at the simplest things, I am reminded that the contentment I am experiencing at that precise moment is brought by You. None other than You! Thank You Father.

Thank You.  

whining, withdrawing and wondering

Thursday, November 14, 2013 (8:37 a.m.)

Blessed Father,

Thank You! I've been whining, withdrawing and wondering far too much, way too often! It seems that everywhere I look around me there are signs of doubt and despair. Sadness. Discouragement. Grief. So I whine, withdraw, wonder and eventual I wander. Away from You.

Thank You Father that even in the midst of wandering I am reminded through music to ♫Give Thanks with a grateful heart♫ I confess to You Dearest Father, it's so much easier when things are going the way I think I want them to.

Right now I am thinking of Joseph (Genesis 37-50). Favored by his father. Hated by his brothers. Sold into slavery. Lied about. Perjured against. And ever faithful and obedient to You. He didn't whine or withdraw. While he very well may have wondered, he didn't wander. Thank You for his story Father. His example of faithfulness.

being aware

Tuesday, November 12, 2013 (7:06 a.m.)

Blessed Father,

I'm aware of numbers this morning. Waking at 4:55, I waited to see 4:56. Hoping to be aware of what I'm doing at 08:09:10 and again at 9:10 (because today's date is 11/12/13), I realize it all seems so silly in comparison to the happenings in this world.

Other numbers I've been aware of this morning are the east facing windows of our home. The view from our first window showed little. The second was blocked by closed blinds. I wasn't aware of the third, but the fourth? The exact word was “WHOA!” followed immediately by me standing outside taking in Your beauty and Your glory.

Beautiful, Father. Absolutely beautiful!

With that Dearest Father, I ask You to keep me acutely aware of the things that will bring You glory. Use me to Your good this day, being aware. Always aware. I love You Father. Thank You. Amen.

(154 words ~ 7:54 a.m.)

joy in the process

Veteran's Day Monday, November 11, 2013 (7:26 a.m.)

Blessed Holy Father God,

I've been absent. From You. From myself. From everyday life. I've been avoiding. Neglecting. Withdrawing. Rather than continuing to sit around trying to figure out what is going on [or 'off'] with me, I'm finally able to thank You again.

Father, thank You for the commitment to finally do a sink [and counter] full of dishes. It sure doesn't seem like much. But after a few days of just passing them by and leaving them be, I actually experienced joy in the process.

As the sun caught and reflected off the sparkles on my shirt, small flashes of light danced around the windowsill and with them a spark of joy. A true desire to say “Thank You God”.

I tried yesterday Father. I sat. I prayed. I listened. I learned. I attempted participation. I pretended. I smiled. I avoided. And resisted. But not entirely. There were moments of sincere satisfaction. While not to be confused with all out joy, there was true gladness.

Father, do I expect too much? Try too hard? Shut down too quickly? Work in me to Your good and Your glory Blessed God.

So... let me be honest and confess my feelings of disjointedness. It's been twenty years since my Daddy died. Twenty years of change and difference. Twenty years of tears and good things. Twenty years of imbalance. Twenty years of growing, retreating and starting all over again.

Father God, thank You for Your presence in this process. This process that is so incredibly different than I ever expected it to be.

Thank You for the willingness to finally come to You with an open and honest heart. Thank You for the tears I've finally allowed to come. Tears that wash over my heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30). Healing tears. Joyful tears. Tears I didn't even know were there. Thank You Father.

Thank You that You don't leave us alone (Deuteronomy 31:6) in our process. Thank You that there IS joy to be found.

Yesterday, I struggled to find footing with You. I intentionally smiled every time I caught myself not smiling. I sought Your Truth, even in the midst of avoiding it. This morning I finally came to the point of surrender. Thank You Father.

Thank You that in so doing I get to wholeheartedly repeat to You the hope found in the glory of the sky early yesterday morning. Psalm19:1-6 says it best for me. And now I get to close with the final verse of that chapter.

“May my spoken words and unspoken thoughts be pleasing even to You, O Lord my Rock and my Redeemer” (v. 14).

You are here for us. Here with us. Helping us find joy in the process. And I thank You. Wholeheartedly. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(473 words ~ 8:20 a.m.)  

sitting

Sunday, November 10, 2013 (6:22 a.m.)

Blessed Father God,

I have nothing to say. The sky was absolutely beautiful. Enough to gasp, go outside barefooted and gaze. And still I have nothing.

Where are the words? The appreciation. The praise. Search me Father. Find what will please You.

(6:52 a.m.)

Still I sit. Silent. Searching. Seeking. Scowling. Smiling.

Smiling only because I've been told it improves our outlooks.

Your love

Friday, November 8, 2013 (7:03 a.m.)

Loving Father,

Thank You for Your love.

(8:14 a.m.)

Your love. I didn't expect to go in this direction. I get to keep turning pages and be reminded of our opportunity to fill up on Your love.

First it was a Life Recovery devotional for John 14:15-26, titled simply “Love”. 1John 4:9-10 is cited. As is Psalm 103:14-18. But it's turning to a hymn for Psalm 103:11 that has me hooked.

I don't know this hymn. But I hope to.

“Lavish Love, Abundant Beauty, Gracious gifts from heart and hand, Life that fills the soul and senses – All burst forth at Your command. Lord, our Lord, Eternal Father, Great Creator, God and Friend, Boundless pow'r gave full expression To Your love which knows no end.”

Father, I love when other people's words sum up what is going on inside me!

“Who am I that You should love me, Meet my ever'y need from birth? Why invest Yourself so fully In a creature made of earth? In Your loving heart You planned me, Fashioned me with greatest care; Through my soul You breathed Your Spirit, Planted Your own image there.”

Loving Father, it IS Your love I long to share this day!

“I am Yours, Eternal Father, All my body, mind and heart. Take and use me to Your glory, Form Yourself in ev'ry part. Lord, Your love brings joy and gladness Flowing forth within my soul. May my very breath and being Rise to You, their source and goal.”

Yes Father! Your love brings joy and gladness. Let me use and share it well this day. Enable and empower me to seek the things that bring You joy and gladness. I love You Father. Thank You for lavishing Your love upon us. Amen.

(305 words ~ 8:39 a.m.)

tasted

Wednesday, November 6, 2013 (7:33 a.m.)

At Sea - en route toward California waters

Father God,

Thank You for fun and flavors. New to us foods. Conversations. Adventures. Wines. Olive oils. Information. Thank You Father.

Enjoyment. Tastes. Guide me in our time here together this morning Blessed Father. I truly have no idea where we are headed.

Tasted. 1Peter 2:3, “...you have tasted that the Lord is good.” Revelation 10:10, “It ['the unrolled scroll from the mighty angel' (v.8)] tasted as sweet as honey in my mouth.”

Yesterday I tasted a sweet honey wine. Several times I tasted that sweet honey wine. Soon my stomach too turned sour (v.9). Not because of Your Word. No. Because of my own choices of the things I tasted and ate throughout the day.

Even here Father, Your Word guides and reminds me. The apostle John was told to eat the scroll, as was Ezekiel (Ezekiel 2:8; 3:1-3). The message of Your Word is sweet. It's what we do with it that ultimately leads us to Your 'promises of joy and peace' or 'predictions of judgment'.

The scroll Ezekiel was commanded to eat “enabled him to perform his difficult ministry. He was sustained and directed by the words he received from God. As we face the trials of recovery, God's sustaining words in the Bible can provide us with the direction and strength we need. As we daily read and meditate on God's truths, we will discover God's power helping us to progress successfully in the recovery process” (The Life Recovery Bible comment).

This bringing us back to the Truth of Peter's words, telling 'us how to live well in a shattered and hopeless world'. Having tasted Your kindness (1Peter 2:3) we can develop a yearning for Your Word instead of the tastes of this world. 'Seeking to experience more of Your kindness, we can come to You with all our needs, and You will fill our hearts with the love we crave.'

Father, of all the many things I have tasted this trip, it is truly Your love I long to savor. Make me a good and faithful steward of Your goodness and Your grace this day. I love You Father. I have tasted that You are good! Empower and enable me to love and live Your Truth! Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(395 words ~ 9:20 a.m.)

Contentment it is!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013 (5:56 a.m.)

Off coast of Ensenada, MX

Most Beloved Father God,

How I thank You. We're having another adventure. And we're learning again in the process. Thank You Father. Thank You for the opportunity to be doubted and proved right. Thank You that even though that particular situation left me feeling defensive and eventually shut down, this morning I see it for what it was. A doubt. I was doubted. Not such the big deal I tried to turn it into. Thank You Father.

So this morning, this lovely chilly morning, please guide me in our time together. Shall we discuss doubt? Or contentment? Contentment in the form of not always getting what we want, but rather in wanting what we get. Guide me in Your Word this morning Father. Direct my heart, mind, soul and strength here to Your liking.

Contentment it is! Thank You Father. You are the One who gave me the mom who worked long and hard teaching me that I “had better just take what you get and like it.” In many, albeit not all, ways this mindset has served me well through the years.

Today I'm asking for YOUR wisdom in the things I am to accept as they are and those that You would have me change. The Life Recovery topical index has me reading a Serenity Prayer Devotional for Philippians 4:10-14.

“I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of contentment in every situation, whether it be a full stomach or hunger, plenty or want;” (v.12). The Apostle Paul penned these words to the people in Philippi while waiting in a Roman prison to learn if he'd be executed. This was truly a man who not only knew and loved You, but he lived You as well.

Father, I long to trust You to the point of death. Whatever the circumstance, I want to wholeheartedly sing ♫“It is well with my soul”♫ Here I smile as I turn in The Hymnal for Worship & Celebration. This powerful hymn is found under “Life in Christ Inner Peace and Joy”.

Yes Father. Truly I long to live each moment with inner peace and joy. Satisfied. Contented.

A rather long paragraph I noted ten years ago on my birthday says, “The process of recovery is a time of learning to find serenity while also accepting life as it is. Life isn't fair. It isn't predictable or controllable. It can be wonderfully rich in some ways and terribly difficult in others. When we become willing to face the hurt in our life and consider how we reacted to it, then our discomfort can lead us to break the destructive cycles. Then we can learn to be content with the things we cannot change.”

Even on that rare occasion when I feel doubted. Father, thank You for changing my mindset last night. Thank You for loving us and teaching us. Work in and through me this day for Your ultimate good and glory. There's an adventure to be had. Let us use it well.

I love You Father. Thank You. Amen.
                                                                         (533 words ~ 7:10 a.m.)

"Believe"

Monday, November 4, 2013 (6:21 a.m.)

Anaheim kitchen table

Dearest Holy Father,

I took an opportunity to pray and trust and hope yesterday. We were running late to church. I wanted to leave by 9:00. It was already 9:15. A phone call needed to be made. I asked no questions. I took the time to play the piano instead of pace the floors and point at the clock.

Thank You for that decision. Thank You that the Scripture passage (Romans 1:16-32) was so 'meaty' first service ran over. We were sitting comfortably long before the first prayer. Thank You Father.

You seemed to have it all worked out. Constant reminders for me to take deep breaths slowed my thinking. I did not jump over to mind wandering. Instead I chose to believe we'd be wherever we needed to be in Your time.

I chose that response many times throughout the day. The indecisions of going here or there, doing this or that were each met with a deep breath and an honest answer. All in all, a very enjoyable day. Thank You.

In thanking You here, may I go back to that church service we had. Two of the worship songs had tears streaming down my face as though my heart was truly broken. Given the amount of tears I had shared with You earlier yesterday morning that wasn't too much of stretch. Thank You Father for the freedom with which to express our emotion.

Thank You too for the reminders I received yesterday to “Believe”.

First at church. A devotional by Max Lucado, where he described the love of a father for his dying daughter (Mark 5:22-43). “There were no games. No haggling. No masquerades. The situation is starkly simple: Jairus is blind to the future and Jesus knows the future. So Jairus asks for His help, and Jesus, who loves the honest heart, goes to give it...[He] turns immediately to Jairus and pleads” 'Don't be afraid; just believe' (v.36).

“Jesus compels Jairus to see the unseen. When Jesus says, 'Just believe...,' He is imploring, 'Don't be controlled by the logical. Believe there is more to life than meets the eye!'

“'Trust Me' Jesus is pleading. 'Don't be afraid; just trust.'”

Fear is too often my first response to circumstances beyond my control. Thank You for reminders to “Believe”. Looking into various Bible versions this morning, I see anywhere from 280 to 408 listings for “Believe” in Your Word. More than enough reminders for every single day of the years.

A simple white sign with a beautifully written word above our little table in an impromptu dinner place last evening also reminded me. “Believe”.

Father, thank You. While I may never know what's coming next, I can ALWAYS believe You to have our very best interests at heart. How I ask You to put that belief into action this day. Let me speak up for You in my words and my deeds. I love You Father. Thank You. Amen.

(502 words ~ 9:54 a.m.)

powerless

Sunday, November 3, 2013 (5:28 a.m.)

Most Amazing Father God,

I love You so very much. You are good. You are kind. You do not leave us alone in our circumstances. Father, this morning I want to talk with You on behalf of others.

Lord, there's a world of hurt out there. Physical, emotional, spiritual and mental. People are concerned for one another and powerless to do anything, except pray.

Why doesn't that seem like enough? You are the Creator of the Universe. The Alpha and Omega. The Beginning and the End. Why is it so difficult for us to surrender our will to Yours and to trust? You!

And this is where I begin to cry. Father, we don't know how to know You. We read Your Word. We don't “give up meeting together” (Hebrews 10:25). We join our voices together singing that ♫all our life, strength and hope is in You♫ Tell us Father, when the hurt is so incredibly real and deeply painful how do we live outside of the pain?

When the apostle Paul wrote of his own pain and suffering (2 Corinthians 11:23-33) he did so to encourage others in theirs. That is why the words on this page here are so difficult to see. The tears keep falling. My heart is breaking.

I love others so very much because You first loved us. Loving others and watching them feel alone is truly heartbreaking.

That is exactly why I come to You so often throughout the day. I am powerless to help. I don't have the words. But You do. Your Word is FULL of the right words!

Take Paul's own words to the people of Corinth for example:

“Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows” (2 Corinthians 1:2-5).

I long to offer comfort to hurting loved ones Dearest Father. I am powerless here. Under the title “Everyone Faces Trouble” the Psalty Kids Bible gives this advice, “don't ever forget that God cares for you, and He will always be there to comfort you. So the next time you have trouble, go to the Lord. He will give you comfort.”

Father I am trusting You to help those I am powerless to help myself. Provide the relief, the comfort, the fellowship, the _______ (exactly what they need) according to Your perfect will. We love You so incredibly much. Help each of us in our quest to know and trust You more.

Thank You Father for hearing our prayers. Do exactly what You need to do in and through me this day. I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(504 words ~ 6:49 a.m.)

Psalm 16

Saturday, November 2, 2013 (6:11 a.m.)

Father God,

Thank You for Your presence in our lives. Thank You for the joy You have infused into us. Joy as a direct byproduct of You working tirelessly in and for each of us.

Thank You Father. Thank You that as I turned in Your Word looking for evidences of You having worked joy into others, I landed at Psalm 16.

Our lives have been filled with “Save me, O God” (v.1a) moments. Thank You that You have. Every single time we come to You because we “have no other help than Yours” (2b) You hear our prayers. You, Yourself, are our “inheritance”, our “prize” (5). You see that we are “given pleasant brooks and meadows” as our share! “What a wonderful inheritance!” (6).

I confess, far too often I forget. I go off on my own. Try to do things my way. Oh, but when I remember and come back to “bless the Lord who counsels me; He gives me wisdom in the night. He tells me what to do” (7).

Oh now here's a real 'kicker'! “I am always thinking of the Lord” (8a). Didn't I just say 'I forget'? The emphasis here is placed by me, “because He is so near, I never NEED to stumble or fall” (8b). Is that not the Truth of Your Word to us?

“Heart, body, and soul are filled with joy” (9). They truly are! “For You will not leave me among the dead; You will not allow Your beloved to rot in the grave. You have let me experience the joys of life and the exquisite pleasures of Your own eternal presence” (10-11).

And would You just look at that? What I thanked You for to begin with. Your presence in our lives. Your presence brings with it Your joy. Thank You Father. Thank You.

Let me use Your presence and Your joy well this day. Use me to Your good and to Your glory. I love You. I thank You. Amen.

(342 words ~ 7:24 a.m.)

love well

Friday, November 1, 2013 (5:39 a.m.)

Awesome, Blessed Father God,

Thank You! I don't remember how many years it has been since You first brought The Message version of Philippians 1:9 in to my heart, soul and mind. How I thank You that You did. You changed my relationship with my brother the day You had me read it. And I have no idea how many others have been positively affected by the apostle Paul's prayer for the people of Philippi.

“So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately.” There are many evidences that loving well and appropriately is taking root here in our lives.

And just as true as that is, there is also the reminder that I still come across as a noisy gong (1Corinthians 13:1).