HOPE!

Monday, August 31, 2009 (6:11 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Again I wake up saying “Thank You” to You. Thank You for extra rest and this nearly missed colorful sky. Thank You for thoughts of hope and a renewed peacefulness. Thank You for a clearer mind and the immediate finding of the hymn “The Solid Rock” (having not thought to use “The” in searching for it yesterday).

Thank You for the smile that crossed my face just now as I thought of how easily some things are missed. Oh most dear and blessed God, I don’t want to continue missing things. You have provided so much. You bless us continuously, yet I find myself cowering more often than standing firm on Your name.

Lord, I love You so very much. I confess to living fearfully once more. I fell deep again into the trap of being afraid of making mistakes. More than anything else in this world I didn’t want people looking at me and saying how wrong I was, about anything. Yes Lord. I wasn’t concerned about them seeing You in me. No. I didn’t want others seeing me, and how wrong I’ve been about so many things.

Thank You Lord. Thank You for reminding me that I’ve been trying again to build my life on sand (Matthew 7:26, 27) instead of listening to You and following Your instructions (vs. 24, 25).

Thank You for the relative ease with which I just (finally!) found the verse that’s been tentatively starting itself in my mind, before rushing out again.

(12:34 p.m.)

Over six hours and three subject titles later and here You find me hopeful. Truly hopeful for the first time in I don’t remember how long. Listening. Reading. Asking. Searching. Learning. Thinking. Confirming. All lead back to You. My Living Hope!

Thank You Lord! Thank You for words of hope. Songs of hope. Messages of hope. Thank You for a renewed willingness to risk hoping in You.

Blessed Father, I confess to having again placed my hope in people, places and things. Wrong thing to do! “My hope is built on nothing less Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness; I dare not trust the sweetest frame, But wholly lean on Jesus’ name. On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand: All other ground is sinking sand.”

Oh most dear and blessed Lord, how I thank You for reminding me as I seemed to be overcome by the sinking that my faith, my hope, my trust were not in You. Circumstances keep coming along that have knocked me off my proverbial props. Thank You Lord that Your love is far greater than any set of circumstances – no matter how dire or trying.

Thank You Dear Lord for reminding me of the importance of Paul’s words to Timothy (second chapter of his second letter) “O Timothy, my son, be strong with the strength Christ Jesus gives you. For you must teach others those things you and many others have heard me speak about. Teach these great truths to trustworthy men who will, in turn, pass them on to others.

“Take your share of suffering as a good soldier of Jesus Christ, just as I do; and as Christ’s soldier, do not let yourself become tied up in worldly affairs, for then you cannot satisfy the one who has enlisted you in His army. Follow the Lord’s rules for doing His work, just as an athlete either follows the rules or is disqualified and wins no prize. Work hard like a farmer who gets paid well if he raises a large crop. Think over these three illustrations, and may the Lord help you to understand how they apply to you” (vs. 1-7).

Right now oh Lord, I realize how undisciplined I have become. Once again I have allowed circumstances to dictate the care and feeding of myself emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically. How can I possibly follow Christ’s mandate (Mark 12:30) that I “shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength” if I am not “determined to run the race that is ahead” (Hebrews 12:1b) keeping my “eyes on Jesus, who leads us and makes our faith complete” (v.2a).

Lord, how I thank You for gentle reminders, huge challenges and all that falls in the middle. You are a good and mighty God. Let me not soon forget that it is in YOU and You alone that I place my faith, my hope and all of my love (1Corinthians 13:13). I love You so much dear Lord. Help me use that love for Your good and Your glory. It is in your Son’s most holy name I pray. Amen.

(785 words ~ 1:45 p.m.)

new day

Sunday, August 30, 2009 (4:59 a.m.)

Beloved God,

Thank You for this new day. Thank You for every single element of hope that is to be found in it.

You are truly amazing God! I fret. I moan. I stew. Tears are shed. Blame is assessed. Judgments passed. And I end up standing before You stripped of all my worldly securities. Yet You continue to offer me the one thing I keep insisting is too risky for me. Hope.

I no longer want to take the chance of disappointment. Everywhere I turn, there’s another one. Yet off in the wings, always, there You are. Beckoning me on.

For so long I have been naïve. Gullible. Over trusting. Easily deceived. Impressionable. Unsuspecting. Now it seems I have gone far off in the opposite direction. I’ve become far too wary. Cautious. Careful. Hyper alert. Watchful. Attentive.

As I continue on this walk with You, I see that those ARE the things You would have me be. Time and again throughout the Bible it is written that we are to “be alert” (Isaiah 21:7, Mark 13:33, Ephesians 6:18, 1 Thessalonians 5:6, 1 Peter 5:8). Thank You Lord that You don’t ever just leave us stranded and on our own.

These past few months have been especially trying and eye opening. I’ve come face-to-face with pronounced discrepancies of what I thought was true and what truth really is. Thank You Lord that You have been fully involved with every step of the reveal. And thank You especially that You are here guiding and directing the healing.

As I continue laying blame on myself for all the things I’ve done wrong. Every conclusion I was so quick to jump to. Here You are (this morning in the book of Zephaniah) ‘shaking the people of Judah out of their complacency and getting them back on the path of recovery’.

Zephaniah 3:5, “The Lord within her is righteous; He does no wrong. Morning by morning He dispenses justice, and every new day He does not fail, yet the unrighteous know no shame.” (Sidebar here Lord – truly, does this mean that the guilt and shame I have been feeling these past days, weeks and months is not only appropriate, but ‘righteous’?)

Lord, how I ask that You would keep working in me. Plucking out every single defect of character that You find unpleasing. You know what You’re going to ultimately end up with. Thank You for that Dear Lord! Thank You that I am not in charge of the final outcome.

Forgive me for the mistakes I’ve made through the years. The things I was so absolutely sure about that have turned out to be so wrong.

Thank You for this glorious brand new day. Complete with its breath taking beauty. I ask that You would make me able to encourage not only myself but others as well to “rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24).

I love You so much Dear Lord. Thank You for loving me. Amen.

(498 words ~ 6:08 a.m.)

Romans 12

Saturday, August 30, 2009 (7:18 a.m.)

Hilton La Jolla Torrey Pines, CA #1048

Awesome God,

Faith. Hope. Love. These three remain (1Corinthians 13:13) Speak to me of these, Oh Lord.

And You do! Romans 12:1 “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.” What does all this mean? Of that I am not quite sure ~ yet I read on…

“And do not be conformed to this world (v.2) but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Oh Father, thank You!

Thank You that in this setting: a terraced garden, complete with pillared staircases and spiraling evergreens I hear the sounds of Your birds starting their day. Thank You for such reminders of Your grandeur.

Lord, I confess to feeling lost! Part of myself seems missing. Lord, how I ask that it be a character defect that You Yourself have either completely removed from me, or are in the process of changing to Your good.

Paul continued in his letter to the Romans (12:3) “For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.” Lord, I KNOW You are telling me something here! My heart has quickened ~ my soul is waiting with deep anticipation for the “Aha! Yes Lord ~ I get it. I understand.”

I know You want what is Your best for me. And I believe without hesitation that You know exactly what that is. Help me trust again Lord. The fear and doubt that has been shrouding me is not a good fit. I hate the negative cynicism that accompanies it.

You are so good. You have my back. I want to live each moment as though I truly believe, trust and depend on that.

Reading Paul’s description of the many members of one body (vs. 4-8) I again confess to not knowing where I fall in line with Your spiritual gifts. Here also I ask Your work in me! Keep filling me with Your goodness and Your grace as You continue removing the slag and the dross.

Melt me and mold me. Fill me and use me. I’ve barked up wrong trees for so long Dear Lord ~ get me to where You would have me. Put my focus and my energies exactly where You’d have them. You provide for us so perfectly. Help me to again see evidences of You in my everyday dealings with others.

Help me live the remaining words of this chapter (vs. 9-21) “Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love… Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

I love You so much Dear Lord. And I want to live my life as if this were so. Help me do exactly that. I love You. Amen.

(533 words)

listening

Friday, August 28, 2009 (4:56 a.m.)

Amazing God of Glory,

Holy God. Loving Lord. I confess to being stumped on how to address You this morning. There is a heartfelt sigh that is present. A peace and contentment that’s washed over me in a desire to just sit in Your presence and listen. Not speak.

Mm, Lord. Thank You. Thank You for delicious early morning sounds. The neighborhood is waking up. Cars whiz by on surrounding streets. Doors are opening and closing. A rooster is crowing off in the distance while an occasional dog barks here and there. A cricket just began chirping. The constant ticking of the clocks seem to grow louder and then practically disappear. Trains can be heard, demanding attention.

And I just sit here, waiting to hear from You Oh Lord. Thank You for this honor Lord. This privilege to come before You; waiting, listening. Mm. Speak to me Dear Lord I pray. Let me know Your plan for my day.

Oh most glorious Lord. You do not disappoint! Searching Your Word and finding verse after verse verifying the importance of listening I was encouraged. But it was in continuing my quest to find which song has been in the forefront and background of my mind since beginning to awaken some time ago that’s delighted me.

“How Deep the Father’s Love for Us How vast beyond all measure That He would give His only Son To make a wretch His treasure”. Thank You Lord! Thank You for its persistent strain haunting me to not give up the search.

“How great the pain of searing loss The Father turns His face away As wounds which mar the chosen One Bring many sons to glory”. Lord, I am that wretch that was made Your treasure. Thank You for saving me!

“Behold the Man upon a cross My guilt upon His shoulders Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice Call out among the scoffers”. Lord, as the song’s words ring true in my heart, the sounds of the morning have all but disappeared.

“It was my sin that held Him there Until it was accomplished His dying breath has brought me life I know that it is finished”. Oh most Holy Lord, thank You for such a gift as this.

“I will not boast in anything No gifts, no pow’rs, no wisdom But I will boast in Jesus Christ His death and resurrection”. Thank You Lord. Thank You.

“Why should I gain from His reward? I cannot give an answer But this I know with all my heart His wounds have paid my ransom”. Lord, how I ask that You would keep me listening to You all my days. Tune me in to Your frequency Blessed Lord.

I don’t deserve any of all You have given me. Make me truly grateful. Truly Yours. I love You so much Oh Lord and because of Your great love for me, I am listening! I love You Lord. Amen.

(487 words ~ 6:05 a.m.)

Morning Star

Thursday, August 27, 2009 (5:40 a.m.)

Blessed God, Holy Lord,

Thank You. Is this the second, or third day in a row that I have gotten to see the morning star right outside my window? What a blessing Lord. Thank You.

Thank You for the coolness accompanying this early morning. Thank You for deep, restorative sleep. Thank You for the willingness to get up one more time before the sunrise.

I love You so much Lord. And all truth be told, I want to love You more. I want to love (and know) You better. Thank You for this opportunity to be here alone with You. Watching as the morning once again begins to show itself. What a beautiful blessing.

Most Holy God, I want to live this day for You. I long to think the things You’d have me think (and say and do and be). You are such a good and loving God. Thank You.

So, here we are. A brand new day. Another absolutely clean slate. One more opportunity to start afresh. Thank You Lord. Thank You for Your ‘great faithfulness and Your mercies that are new every morning’ (Lamentations 3:23). How blessed I am to be included in Your promises.

Lord, I come before You agog with a new to me truth; You as the Morning Star. I didn’t know Lord. Peter writing in his second letter to Your believers everywhere, “So we have seen and proved that what the prophets said came true. You will do well to pay close attention to everything they have written, for, like lights shining into dark corners, their words help us to understand many things that otherwise would be dark and difficult. But when you consider the wonderful truth of the prophet’s words, then the light will dawn in your souls and Christ the Morning Star will shine in your hearts” (2Peter1:19).

Oh my goodness Lord! What could possibly be better than having Your light dawn in my soul and You, the Morning Star, shining in my heart!

A song I don’t know by Twila Paris says, “Righteous and holy in all of Your ways We come before You with honor and praise Here to adore You for all our days We come before You with honor and praise Lord of the heavens how faithful You are Shine down upon us, oh Bright Morning Star Righteous and holy in all of Your ways We come before You with honor and praise…”

Most blessed and holy Father, work in me deeply that I would truly reflect Your Bright Morning Star. I love You so much Dear Lord. Thank You for another blessed way to start my day. Amen.

(448 words ~ 6:54 a.m.)

clarity

Wednesday, August 26, 2009 (5:31 a.m.)

Gloriously, Awesome God,

Thank You! Thank You for such beauty and joy. Thank You for praise. Thank You for eagerness to be here with You. Thank You for this incredibly clear and starry morning sky. Thank You for a change in my heart and my soul. Thank You for this moment of clarity, where all seems right with the world.

Lord, I know that it is not. All the problems that were here with us yesterday did not miraculously disappear overnight. But this morning is fresh and clear. The sky has turned from dark and star filled to bright with shades of orange that now have faded. It is a new day Lord, and I got to watch it begin. Thank You!

Thank You for yesterday and my husband’s singing of “With a song in my heart, and praise in mouth I will stand to my feet and worship You now Though my strength is gone and I don’t know how, I’m gonna run Holy is the Lamb, worthy is the King of all creation Mighty is, the God, who saved my soul” complete with air guitar strumming. Lord, I have never heard Him sing to You outside of church and I was blessed and encouraged by it. Thank You.

Thank You for last night’s reminder of the song “Broken Hallelujah”. How comforting it is to be able to come before You in brokenness; trusting, depending and relying on Your acceptance of our feeble attempts at praise.

Sitting here with my Bible in my arms and the whole brand new day in front of me, Lord how I thank You for Your generous perfect love. Finding one Old Testament mention of the word ‘clarity’ and one New, Lord I ask that You would use them both in Your shaping of me this day. Exodus 24:10, “and they (Moses, Aaron, Nadab, Abihu, and seventy of the elders of Israel) saw the God of Israel. And [there was] under His feet as it were a paved work of sapphire stone, and it was like the very heavens in [its] clarity.”

The Life Recovery Bible comment to this says, “One of the best ways for us to see ourselves as we actually are is to gain a clear view of God and His glorious person… One glimpse of God in His awesome glory will heal both our pride and our self-deprecation, giving us a healthy and balanced self-assessment.” Mm, what a promise of hope! Thank You.

1 Corinthians 13:12 reminds me that, “Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then (someday) we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now.” Thank You God that it is not for me to know everything now. Thank You that I am to continue getting to know You more so that ‘someday’ it will all be made clear.

Thank You Lord for this brief moment of truly being agog with You again. I love You so much and absolutely appreciation this tiny glimpse of clarity. Thank You Lord. Amen.

(530 words ~ 6:51 a.m.)

emptied

Tuesday, August 25, 2009 (6:21 a.m.)

Father,

How would You have me come before You this morning? Honest? Asking to be changed? Grumbling? Apprehensive? Fearful. Empty. Void.

Would it be that I could come to You empty this morning Lord? Emptied of expectations and conclusions I have jumped to? Oh that I could be emptied of self and filled with You!

Most blessed Lord and Father God, thank You for waking me up with the melody of ‘The Wonderful Cross’ in my head. For every unwilling feeling I have about being here with You right now, it’s You and Your wonderful cross that has me here. Searching Your Word. Seeking You will.

“When I survey the wondrous cross On which the Prince of Glory died My richest gain I count but loss And pour contempt on all my pride… O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross All who gather here by grace draw near and bless Your name”

Oh dearest Lord, oh that I would truly ‘draw near and bless Your name’! You are so good. “See from His head, His hands, His feet Sorrow and love flow mingled down Did ever such love and sorrow meet Or thorns compose so rich a crown O the wonderful cross…” Such sacrifice I cannot even fathom.

Thank You Jesus. Thank You for all You have done in bringing us to You. My thoughts are filled with so many scenarios that don’t include Your leadership and guidance. I confess Dearest Lord to continuing to anticipate my own will and hidden agenda to be brought to fruition.

I lack trust in You. I keep thinking if I just try something a little harder, all the problems concerning my loved ones will work out fine. “Were the whole realm of nature mine That were an offering far too small Love so amazing, so divine Demands my soul, my life, my all O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live…”

Yes Lord. Let my own selfish desires die and be emptied away that You would be glorified in all I think and pray and say and do. There are worries and concerns over which I have no control that I bring before You O Lord asking Your perfect will. You are mighty. Glorious. Powerful. I am emptied. Asking to be filled with You and by You, that I may truly live. I love You so much Oh Lord. Make me worthy of Your love. Amen.

(436 words ~ 7:20 a.m.)

justified

Monday, August 24, 2009 (6:04 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

You spoke to me yesterday and I was once again ‘very eager or curious to hear or see something’. Yes Lord. For another brief moment, I was truly ‘agog’ with You. In that moment by the pool, as I was rehashing many of the mistakes I’ve made over the years, my mind was quieted. Stilled. Almost as when You calmed the storm tossed seas. Thank You Lord!

Thank You that You love us so much. Thank You that You know exactly what You are doing in and through each of us. Lord, I confess to behaving far more resigned than rejoiceful lately. I keep finding negative things upon which to dwell and take to heart. But You keep reminding me of Your promises. Thank You Lord.

Just now as I was starting another mental list of things I can’t possibly take care of, here You were jogging my memory with Philippians 4:13. “I can do anything through him that gives me strength.” Thank You Lord.

I confess to You dear Lord the laundry list of things I don’t want to have to do. I confess to withdrawing from others. I confess to feeling alone in a room full of people. Oh, but You are a good and mighty God! Perhaps this is just a ‘season’. Maybe all that I am experiencing within myself will one day come to pass. But Your Word promises me strength for each day. Mm, thank You Lord.

Isaiah 41:10, 13 proclaims, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”

How can I continue feeling so lost and afraid with that kind of promise from the Creator of the Universe? Blessed Lord thank You! Thank You for songs this morning that continue reminding me of Your deep love for us.

“How deep the Father’s love for us, How vast beyond all measure That He should give His only Son To make a wretch His treasure…” (as well as “What God Hath Promised” which speaks of Your giving us ‘strength for the day’). Lord, You are so good, so kind. Thank You for the blessings of Your promises, promises on which we can stand and be made whole.

Now, back to Your comforting thought to me yesterday. As I continued adding to the list of “If I’d just…” there You were, stopping me mid-sentence. Reminding me that the better word for me to consider is ‘justified’. There are countless things that I wish I had done differently or ‘better’. But this one word again offers me hope.

Remembering someone telling me long ago that this particular glorious word of Yours actually means that Christ’s blood was shed to make all my sins “just as if I’d” never done them. Paul spelled it out in much more detail to Titus (3:3-7) when he wrote, “At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by His grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.”

Blessed Lord, help me live this day as one who truly believes that I have been justified by Your mercy and grace. Continue changing my mindset in accordance to Your will and to Your way. I love You Lord. Thank You for justifying and loving me so deeply. Make me worthy of all You have so generously provided me. Use me to share Your goodness and Your grace. I love You. Amen.

(688 words ~ 8:18 a.m.)

rely

Sunday, August 23, 2009 (5:57 a.m.)

Stomp, stamp, whine, grumble, cry, complain...

Pout, praise, proclaim. Deny, rely. Trust. Come to You. Be honest. Be kind. Love. Accept. Adjust. Assist. Acknowledge. Proclaim. Prepare. Announce. Endeavor. Surrender.

Fully Esteem and Revere You Lord.

Precious, Beloved, Capable, Loving Father God,

Thank You. Thank You for allowing me to spew the contents of my mind just now. You are righteous. Glorious. Wonderful. Marvelous. I am behaving badly. Selfish. Spoiled. Not at all Christlike. “But what about me? Why do I have to do all the changing?”

Awesome, wonderful, glorious God, forgive me for my unloving, unkind, uncaring, outburst last night. Forgive me for not trusting You. Forgive me. Forgive.

I love You Lord. I confess to having slipped deep into a hole of quiet contentment. Actually, it’s more like a pit of despair. As long as I continued going along as if everything were fine. As long as I thought the money wouldn’t run out. As long as I could superficially praise and thank You, I could still rely on myself, my own ideas and comfort zone to get me through this next chapter and phase of our life.

NOT! Lord, I confess to You that I am scared. There is quite a long list of things that I want to hold onto and not have to change. You provide our every need. You bask us in great abundance. But still I fear. I like my life as it is. I don’t want to have to accept the fact that I don’t get to keep doing things as I have all these years.

Lord, change my focus for me. Instead of continuing to look on the negatives, help me see the positives. Show me the adventure and opportunity to this latest journey. Make me obedient to Your will and to Your way.

Isaiah 50:10 and 11 are of great help to me this morning, “Who among you fears the Lord and obeys his Servant? If such men walk in darkness, without one ray of light, let them trust the Lord, let them rely upon God. But see here, you who live in your own light and warm yourselves from your own fires and not from God’s; you will live among sorrows.”

I don’t want to live among sorrows God! I want to live in all the fullness You came to give (John 10:10). Let me look to You Oh Lord. “Turn Your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim In the light of His glory and grace.”

I confess Dear Lord, I keep looking at the bumps and the pitfalls. I’ve forgotten what it is to relax in Your loving arms, to trust and rely on Your promises. Forgive me Dear Lord.

And with more tears in my heart and my soul oh Lord may I finally thank You this day for truly another glimpse of Your glory and grace! Deep heaving sobs overtake me again, only this time it is with another promise from Your Word. 1 Timothy 6:17-19, “Tell those who are rich not to be proud and trust in their money, which will soon be gone, but their pride and trust should be in the living God who always richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. Tell them to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and should give happily to those in need, always ready to share with others whatever God has given them. By doing this they will be storing up real treasure for themselves in heaven – it is the only safe investment for eternity! And they will be living a fruitful Christian life down here as well.”

Blessed Lord, I can’t even begin to wonder what all You have in store for us, but I do know that I have to stop being afraid of it. Help me fully trust and rely on You oh Lord. Not on the security the world of finance has to offer!

I love You so much Dear Lord. Fill me with Your loving presence this day that I might truly be a blessing to others. I need You so much! Amen.

(711 words ~ 7:01 a.m.)

unexpected

Saturday, August 22, 2009 (8:21 a.m.)

Glorious God, Fabulous Father,

How odd, strange, interesting, unexpected, perfect that I would wake up with “It’s a sign of the times” singing in my head. No matter how much I tried to change over to a seemingly more worshipful song, it was unrelenting. Thank You Lord for the ease with which I found the lyrics. Now the question that I have is, am I singing this to You, as I had originally thought? Or are You singing it to me?

“It’s a sign of the times That Your love for me is getting so much stronger” It’s my understanding that You and all things about You don’t change. So if any love is getting stronger it seems to reason that it would be mine for You.

“It’s a sign of the times And I know that I won’t have to wait much longer You’ve changed a lot somehow from the one I used to know-oh-oh And when you hold me now it feels like you never want to let me go” Again these are changes that would take place in me, never You.

It’s funny (odd, strange…) Lord. In all the years since I first learned to change the focus of any pop love song to include You as the subject being loved and adored, never have I considered that You would sing a love song to me. Am I on track here Lord? Or completely out of line?

“It’s a sign of the times That you call me up whenever you feel lonely It’s a sign if the times That you tell your friends that I’m your one and only I’ll never understand the way you treated me-ee-ee But when I hold your hand I know you couldn’t be the way you used to be”

I’m not saying that it’s a perfect fit. Of course You understand everything! But I DO call on You whenever I feel lonely and You DO know more about me than anyone, including myself.

“Maybe my lucky star at last decided to shine” I know. I doubt that You have a ‘lucky’ star and even if You do, it could never just randomly ‘decide to shine’ on its own. “Maybe somebody knows how long I’ve waited to make you mine” But I do believe Revelation 3:20, ‘Look! I have been standing at the door constantly knocking. If anyone hears me calling him and opens the door, I will come in and fellowship with him and he with me’ fits very well right here!

“It’s a sign of the times That you kiss me now as if you really mean it It’s a sign of the times And a year ago I never could have seen it” I believe there is Truth here Lord. Beneath the corniness of the rhyme and the fact that a year ago You could still see everything.

“Don’t ever change your mind and take your love away-ay-ay Just leave the past behind and baby, only think of how it is today” Here again, I know You want me to be preparing for eternity, not just today. However I do take comfort in the reminder that I am so loved by You! “It’s a sign of the times It’s a sign of the ti-i-i-i-mes…”

Father God, thank You for loving me so perfectly! Having looked out the window more than an hour ago and found such unexpected beauty in the sky. It was so much later in the morning than usual. Most days the intensity has faded by now. Today, perhaps I will remember to ‘expect the unexpected’.

Revelation 3:2 and 3 remind me, “Now wake up! Strengthen what little remains – for even what is left is at the point of death. Your deeds are far from right in the sight of God. Go back to what you heard and believed at first; hold to it firmly and turn to Me again. Unless you do, I will come suddenly upon you, as unexpected as a thief.”

Blessed Lord, keep working in me. Continue making me into the woman You created me to be. I love You so much dear Lord. I want desperately to be a sign of Your times! Only You can make ‘this world seem right Only You can make the darkness bright Only You and You alone…’ But that indeed is a song for another day. I love You Lord. Prepare me for whatever unexpected things You have for me this day. I love You. Amen.

(759 words ~ 9:48 a.m.)

glorify

Friday, August 21, 2009 (5:37 a.m.)

Praise You God,

Praise You. Trust You. Thank You. Extol, exalt, worship, revere, honor, adore, glorify. Yes Lord. Glorify You and enjoy You forever. Yes. Yes, that I would do just that.

Thank You Father for the mercy You showed our son yesterday. Eleven hours into his return trip to Alabama, rear-ended by another driver. Receiving fairly severe damage to his cute little car, pretty shaken emotionally and possibly physically. Come to him spiritually I pray, O Lord. Oh that each of us would learn to trust and depend on You all the more.

Father, thank You for calling me here to witness this glorious sunrise with You. Moments ago the sky was gray, formless. Now there is color, sharp outlines, contrasts. What an amazing God You are. Thank You.

Thank You for calling me to “Come, let us worship and bow down, let us kneel before the Lord, our God, our Maker. For He is our God, and we are the people of His pasture, and the sheep of His hand, just the sheep of His hand.” (Psalm 95:6,7) Mm, yes Lord. Protected. Cared for. Cared about. Loved. Dearly loved.

Most blessed Lord, glancing out at the ever-changing sky. Orange one minute, pink the next. Again I am in awe. Your loving-kindness (compassion, mercy) begins afresh each day (Lamentations 3:23) and I am grateful.

Another gaze into the eastern sky and there is a hint of purple followed almost immediately by a white cloud of great intensity. Rapidly altered. Here one moment, gone the next. Thank You God that this is not so with You. Your unfailing love (mercy, compassion) never ends! (Lamentations 3:22) Great is Your faithfulness.

Yes Lord. “Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see; All I have needed Thy hand has provided – Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!”

I experienced it yesterday Lord. There was a perfect peace that surrounded the time I spent with my mom. A peace that only comes from You - a peace that allowed and provided a genuine enjoyment of our being together. Thank You for that dear Lord.

Lord, I ask that You would be with members of our family who are having to deal with the recent death of a dear loved one. Provide for them this perfect peace that comes only from knowing, loving, trusting and glorifying You. You are so good O Lord.

May I truly glorify and enjoy You in all I think, say, am and do this day dear Lord. I love You so much. Thank You for Your compassions that are new every morning. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(450 words ~ 6:48 a.m.)

grace

Thursday, August 20, 2009 (8:14 a.m.)

Faithful Father, Glorious God,

What a way to start the day. Being sung, “So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good night” at sunrise by our son as his parents stood arm in arm waving him on his return trip to the south. What a blessed way to start the day, dear Lord!

Thank You. Thank You for every evidence of You on this visit with him this year. Each of us growing more into the people You would have us be. Messes, clutter, misunderstandings, occasional harsh tones, frustrations balanced out by tender moments of sheer acceptance and determinations to just let some things go. Wow! Thank You God.

Another blessing, huge in its impact on me already this day, was a randomly misplaced book sticking out on a shelf. Upon further investigation was a second book pushed further back behind it. Having no idea where either book belonged, I opened to yesterday’s date and read very briefly this quote from The Message Bible (2Thessalonians 1:2). “Our God gives you everything you need, makes you everything you’re to be.”

Really God? You’ll do that for me? For each of us? How often have I said that I could truly do things so much better if I would just get out of Your way? Too many times I run off ahead completely willy-nilly (without direction or planning; haphazardly) and wonder why I end up so frustrated and confused.

Lord, I love You so much. Thank You for continuously bringing me back to reminders of Your grace, as the above verse reads in other translations (NIV), “Grace and peace to you from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ” and (NLT) “May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.”

May I live this day in Your grace and peace dear Lord, glorifying and enjoying You in every moment of it. I love You. I need You. I thank You. Amen.

(329 words ~ 10:06 a.m.)

fragment

Wednesday, August 19, 2009 (7:40 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Good morning. You are mighty to save. Yes Lord, mighty to save! So far this morning, everywhere I’ve turned with You has brought another smile to my face. Thank You. Look! Here’s another one.

Waking up thinking of how fragmented my life has become, I practically jumped out of bed to come be here with You. Thank You for that kind of eagerness. Thank You that even though I might think my life, my world as I think it’s supposed to be, is falling apart around me You know what You are doing with it. And I get to trust You!

Thank You Lord. Thank You that the only verse (Isaiah 30:14) I found this morning with the word fragment in it comes under the heading “The Tragedy of Misplaced Trust”. What a good and mighty God You are! Thank You. Thank You that even as I am trying to express myself to You, “My Savior, You can move the mountains, You are mighty to save, You are mighty to save” is singing in my mind.

Blessed Lord, I am grateful to You. “Forever, Author of Salvation, You rose and conquered the grave, Yes You conquered the grave.” With that kind of power and love how can I choose to trust anything or anyone but You? Oh, but sadly, how often do I?

Your Word, through Isaiah 30, speaks of the sin of relying on others rather than You. The people of Israel trusted in frauds and lies (oppression and deceit, v. 12) with the resulting sin becoming for them “like a high wall, cracked and bulging, that collapses suddenly, in an instant. It will break in pieces like pottery, shattered so mercilessly that among its pieces not a fragment will be found for taking coals from a hearth or scooping water out of a cistern.” (13,14)

But You are such a good God You don’t leave us alone in our brokenness. No. In verse 15, You, “the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: ‘In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength’”. Let me learn from this section of scripture Lord, because the rest continues, “but you would have none of it. You said, ‘No, we will flee on horses.’ Therefore you will flee!”

Lord, I don’t want to continue having to learn things the hard way! Continue breaking and smashing me into the pliability You need to make of me what You have wanted all along.

I can’t continue pretending to even know what that looks like. But Dear Lord, I know, I trust, I believe that You do. And I am willing to trust You to take me through everything You have planned for me to get us where we need to be. You and me, together.

I love You so much Dear Lord. Thank You for loving me more than I could ever imagine. Guide and direct my thoughts, my words and my actions this day. I want desperately to be who and what You want me to be. Fragments and all. I love You, Lord. Amen.

(520 words ~ 8:54 a.m.)

even me

Tuesday, August 18, 2009 (7:50 a.m.)

Glorious God,

Amazing, wonderful, awesome, glorious God. Thank You for loving me. Even me. Thank You for time spent already this morning singing praises to You. Blessed Lord, it is amazing to me that You can truly love the likes of me.

Disobedient. Unfocused. Careless. Complaining. Even me! “I am so glad that Jesus loves me, Jesus loves me… Jesus loves even me. Tho I forget Him and wander away, Still He doth love me wherever I stray; Back to His dear loving arms would I flee When I remember that Jesus loves me… Jesus loves even me.”

It is such a gift of great price. One I absolutely don’t deserve, which makes it all the more special and appreciated. Lord, I know You are working in my heart. In my life. You are to be glorified and enjoyed by me. I confess to not doing a very good job at either of those.

I used to think I was almost ‘there’. I was pretty puffed up and pleased with myself. All my dots were lining up and most everything was falling into place. And You being the awesome, incredible, merciful God that You are most have thought something like, “Well doesn’t she just look so pleased with herself? Let’s take off a layer of her veneer [an attractive appearance that covers or disguises someone or something’s true nature or feelings] and let her glimpse some of what I see in her.”

Wretched, powerless, pathetic, pretender that I am and yet You love even me. Thank You Lord. It is an honor and a privilege to be loved by You. Please Lord help me live as though I believe 1Corinthians 6:20, “Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.”

Oh yes dear Lord, let others see You in even me! I love You so much. Thank You for loving, even me. Amen!

(362 words ~ 8:40 a.m.)

surprise

Monday, August 17, 2009 (6:34 a.m.)

Oh my goodness God,

Those were the words of my first conscious thought just now. Seeing the placement of the sun in the sky caught me quite off guard. It’s so much further to the south than I’ve been used to watching it. What a nice surprise.

As was finding Justin already ‘up and at ‘em’. Lord, I’m asking You straight off to provide for me an accepting heart this day. Help me to view the unexpected with a sense of joy and wonder.

Lord, You give us so much. Your love, Your life. I don’t want to continue taking any of it for granted. For example, finding my ‘misplaced’ Bible just now. Right exactly where it belongs. What a pleasant surprise.

Earlier, while still in bed, more asleep than awake, an idea came into my head that continues to hold on. Lord God, I would much rather have empty hands and a full heart than the other way around! You have blessed me with so very much Dear Lord. And I confess to ‘not being able to see the forest for the trees’ too many times. In the midst of abundance, far too often I grumble, gripe and complain while thinking I don’t have all I want or need.

This is never the case Lord. You provide for me perfectly. Help me learn this Oh Lord. Show me how to see the delight in all You give. Like the different placement of the sun in the sky and a chance encounter with our son in the hallway. Tapping out the homonym (sun/son) just now made me smile. Lord, help me smile (and laugh!) more freely. Regularly. Easily. Often. Again.

Thank You Father for a world of surprises. Like the lone butterfly feeding on the zinnia the other day right out the kitchen window. Never had I known of its proboscis (slender, tubular feeding structure) and I found myself truly in awe. That was the day You showed me many surprises in the yard. Bugs, insects and mollusks the like of which I had never seen.

Yes Lord, help me view the unexpected with a spirit of surprise, awe and wonder. I love You so much and You deserve so much more than what I offer. Thank You Lord for loving me as You do. Probably my biggest surprise of all! Thank You. Amen.

(400 words ~ 7:44 a.m.)

Bread

Sunday, August 16, 2009 (7:00 a.m.)

Blessed, Beloved Lord,

I love You. Not much more than that – just, I love You. It’s real. Not forced. Quite simply, I love You.

Now, where do we go from here? Yesterday I had thoughts of what to bring before You this morning. Right now I have no idea what those thoughts were. I recall thinking, “Yes! That’s it. This is what I want to learn more about.” Today? I don’t remember.

With that all being said, may I come before You empty? No preconceived ideas. Just as I am Lord, “…without one plea But that Thy blood was shed for me, And that Thou bidd’st me come to Thee, O Lamb of God, I come! I come!”

Yes Lord! Because Your Word says so. John 6:37, “Whoever comes to Me I will never drive away.” Thank You Lord!

Turning to this verse, I read more. Miracles, storm tossed seas, You as the Bread of Life. I read. I get excited. I become hopeful thinking, “Yes, this is it. The way I want to spend my life.”

I confess to falling so far short of all You offer me Lord. I see myself as one of the people to whom You said (v. 26) “The truth of the matter is that you want to be with me because I fed you (loaves and fish) not because you believe in me.” Ouch! Nailed me, right in the heart.

How true is it that I come before You for whatever else I can get? Oh that I would truly become one that comes to give You worship! Lord, I do love You! But…

It is so easy for me to get side tracked with the going-ons of any given day. I want to worship You just for who and all You are. But so often I fret and stew. I mope and whine and complain instead.

Taking me to verse 27, Lord I sincerely ask You to instill in me all that I need to become one that is no longer “concerned about perishable things like food. No, spend your energy seeking the eternal life that I, the Messiah, can give you. For God the Father has sent me for this very purpose.”

Then of course, the people (me being so much like them) after asking what to do to satisfy God (v. 28) and being told by You (v.29) “This is the will of God, that you believe in the one He has sent” turn right back around and say (v.30) “You must show us more miracles if you want us to believe you are the Messiah.”

Lord, how much like them am I? There You were, right there in front of them and they still didn’t get it. Here I am, blessed by You again and again still asking for more.

Father God, how I ask that You would teach me to be satisfied. Appreciative. Kind. Loving. Yours!

Bread of Life, thank You for loving me. “Just as I am, without one plea But that Thy blood was shed for me, And that Thou bidd’st me come to Thee, O Lamb of God, I come! I come!” I love You Lord. Amen.

(537 words ~ 7:58 a.m.)

loving

Thursday, August 13, 2009 (7:11 a.m.)

Stubborn. Ill-mannered. Rebellious. Angry. Nasty. Mean… All of these describe me so well right now. An hour and a half I’ve been here and not one kind descriptive word of You comes to mind. Loving. How about that? I’ll start with Loving. Yes.

Loving Lord,

Forgive my childishness. “To You, O Lord, I pray. Don’t fail me, Lord, for I am trusting You. Don’t let my enemies succeed. Don’t give them victory over me.” (Psalm 25:1, 2)

Saturday, August 15, 2009 (7:10 a.m.)

Yes Lord, Yes Lord, Yes!

Yes! Thank You. Thank You for time and conviction to be able to see what a brat I was turning into. And just exactly how much my enemy (satan) was gaining victory over me.

Thank You Lord for time to work hard in the yard yesterday. Thank You for every single thing that worked against me in my effort: non-draining dishwasher, leaky toilet, my own negative attitude to name just a few. Thank You for the opportunity to growl and grouse (grumble, complain pettily) at You repeatedly. And mostly for the joy with which I have woken this morning!

Lord, I never thought I’d feel it again. Oh but it truly was blocked by that foothold (Ephesians 4: 27) I’d given the devil. For the better part of a week, against my own better judgment I had held onto anger, resentment and bitterness. I knew so much better than to take a remark personally. I confess Lord to ‘playing’ around with snide and hurtful comments, constantly giving fuel to the fire of my outrage.

Thank You Lord for putting it out. Thank You for lifting me far and away from my natural self. Thank You that in the midst of my negativity I was able to keep coming back to the very verse I had read yesterday morning. Romans 5:3-5, “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us – they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady. Then, when that happens, we are able to hold our heads high no matter what happens and know that all is well, for we know how dearly God loves us, and we feel this warm love everywhere within us because God has given the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with love.”

Thank You God! Thank You for the chance to truly ‘feel this warm love everywhere within’ me again this morning. It’s been such a long time. I didn’t feel it an hour ago when I wasn’t done sleeping yet. And thank You for that because I might not have gone back to sleep and had a dream with exciting glimpses of enormous joy, identified fear and release of anger through shared honesty, tears and requesting a hug from a stranger.

Thank You God for the way You work inside me. Thank You that yesterday when I really didn’t feel like singing, “Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say ‘Rejoice!’ Rejoice, rejoice and again I say rejoice…” I did it anyway. Thank You that although the tone wasn’t filled with the love and joy I was hoping it would have, I did do it anyway. And You heard.

I know You heard Lord because this spirit of truly being “AGOG With God” right now could come from nowhere else but You. Thank You Lord. Thank You that along with the Psalm from two days ago also came the words to another song singing wholeheartedly within me this morning. “Unto Thee O Lord, do I lift up my soul. Unto Thee o Lord, do I lift up my soul! O my God, I trust in Thee Let me not be ashamed, let not my enemies triumph over me.”

Thank You God. Thank You for every single thing You do to help us become the loving people You designed us, in Your image, to become. Thank You Lord. Thank You. I love You and I truly desire to be more loving. Let it be so dear Lord. Amen!

(712 words ~ 7:57 a.m.)

relief

Monday, August 10, 2009 (7:37 a.m.)

Blessed God,

You truly blessed me yesterday. Thank You! How long has it been since I truly felt that relaxed, that hopeful, that much myself? Thank You God!

Thank You that when faced with an awkward situation I found a way through it. That was You at work in me. It’s been a really long time since I’ve had the presence of mind to relax and ask You for help in finding a solution instead of steeling myself and demanding one. Thank You Lord.

Thank You for the work You’ve been doing in me here of late. Thank You for the opportunities You present. Thank You too for the obstacles.

Yesterday was a good day. I had fun and there were many successes. Sitting here right now and reflecting, I smile and am grateful. Lord You are so good to us. You bring us relief and rest from our burdens. You are good and I am grateful.

Reading Job 32:20 because of its use of the word ‘relief’, I also read of suffering. Digging a little deeper (in The Bible Handbook) I find more truth to consider this day. “The physical universe demonstrates that God’s wisdom and understanding far surpass man’s. Why then should we expect to understand His ways or working in human lives? Since we are confident that God’s character is marked by ‘an abundant righteousness He will not violate’ (Job 37:23), when we cannot understand we are simply to trust Him.”

And therein we find relief from our struggles! Trusting You. Thank You Lord for being such a good and gracious God. I love You so much. Be with me this day as I seek to ‘enjoy You and glorify You forever’. I love You. Amen.

(295 words ~ 8:40 a.m.)

Wonderful!

Sunday, August 9, 2009 (6:39 a.m.)

Amazing, Wonderful, Ethereal God,

This morning I’m ‘faking it’ until it happens. You ARE these things Lord! As well as – okay, stop. ‘It’ happened! Thank You God that I didn’t have to continue pretending or going through the motions of saying to You what I thought You wanted to hear. Oh my goodness! I do that to You (as with so many others) too!

You call me to be with You. Sometimes I am more grateful for that than at others. This particular morning started out as ‘not so much’. But now? Thank You God!

Turning to Isaiah 9:6 to find other names describing You I found, “Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace” and an article entitled “Names of God”.

Lord, You do truly amaze me. I came out here as a sense of duty, not privilege. I started off as a practice of what I’ve been taught, not true worship. Oh but now Dear Lord, I want to stay. I want to learn more and know You better.

Thank You Lord for the way You will so wonderfully change our hearts and our minds when we give them to You. Thank You that just because I can’t do something on my own (like manufacture a heart of worship) You can and You will when invited in. Thank You Lord!

Thank You for the way You are working in my life Oh Lord. From one day to the next I no longer know what to expect. I confess to You that many times I am still afraid that I won’t be faithful to You. So often I think I don’t even want to keep trying to be the person You created me to be. It flies in such opposition to the person I have become through these recent years. I never wanted to become bitter, resentful, mean-spirited, hard-hearted. These are NOT the words I want used to describe me.

Thank You for the time You provide for me to explore other options. Thank You that You are good and holy and wise. Thank You that I was made in Your image and have the very real opportunity to come before You trusting and rejoicing as in Isaiah 25:1, “O Lord, I will honor and praise Your name, for You are my God; You do such wonderful things! You planned them long ago (Your counsels of old are faithfulness and truth – NKJV).”

Dearest Father God, teach me to live this day as though I believe this with my whole heart. Destroy ever seed of bitter, resentment I may have been storing. Bring Yourself to light in my life. Help me live this day as Your dear daughter, grateful and truly agog with You. I love You so much Dear Lord. Make that obvious in every single thing I choose this day!

Empower and enable me to truly live Deuteronomy 30:19, 20, “I call heaven and earth to witness against you that today I have set before you life or death, blessing or curse. Oh, that you would choose life; that you and your children might live! Choose to love the Lord your God and to obey Him and to cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days. You will then be able to live safely in the land the Lord promised your ancestors, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.”

Let me truly choose YOU this day Dear Lord! I love You. Amen.

(583 words ~ 7:41 a.m.)

repentance

Saturday, August 8, 2009 (6:35 a.m.)

Most Holy God,

I fell short again yesterday. I once again tried desperately to make sense out of insanity. When will I learn Lord that instead of choosing anger, harsh tones and my own feeble attempts at setting something straight to go directly to You instead?

Blessed Lord, I confess to continually calling out Your name. Father, forgive the irritation in my voice as I repeatedly said, “Oh my God” out loud and occasionally thought “Oh my f---ing God” to myself.

Where was that “peace that passes understanding” Philippians 4:7 speaks of? DEFINITELY not “down in my heart” where the praise song reminds me it’s supposed to be.

Lord, forgive me. I reacted badly. Horribly. Despicably. I didn’t think first to pray. No part of me remembered to “Come, let us worship and bow down, let us kneel before the Lord, our God, our God, our Maker. For He is our God, and we are the people of His pasture, and the sheep of His hand, just the sheep of His hand.” (Psalm 95:6)

Nope. Not me. I didn’t even try to find a Bible verse in the recesses of my mind. All I could remember in the moment was to not say anything cruel. My demeanor was wild and unruly. I felt cut to the very core and wanted justice and repentance. There were pieces of me that went back to the days of old and began plotting revenge.

Beloved Lord, ugliness is just below my surface. Oh, but You are such a good and loving Lord! Father, thank You that I have Your Word with which to surround myself this morning. Here in my own little corner of this room I feel safe, buoyed, nurtured, nourished, loved, forgiven.

You’ve provided me with James’ words regarding the tongue this morning, “but no human being can tame the tongue. It is always ready to pour out its deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our heavenly Father, and sometimes it breaks out into curses against men who are made like God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Dear Brothers, surely this is not right! Does a spring bubble out first with fresh water and then with bitter water?” (James 3:8-11)

Blessed Lord, the commentary here offers this about yielding our tongue to Your control, “Even when we feel powerless to control our destructive words, God can still tame our tongue. As He transforms us from the inside out, the words we speak will soon begin to reflect the changes. God will then be able to use our words to heal our relationships and encourage others.” Oh to this I add, “Yes Lord, Yes! To Your will and to Your way Yes, Lord yes, I will trust You and obey When Your Spirit speaks to me, with my whole heart I’ll agree And my answer will be yes, Lord, yes!”

Oh Dearest Beloved God, You are the One and Only upon whom I can depend and trust. Keep working in me Lord. I confess to having expected this walk with You to become easier with practice. So far, that doesn’t seem to be the case. Richer, fuller, yes! But definitely not easier.

As I sit here, knowing that it’s time to go off into the day, Father how I ask You to go before me preparing the way. I’m safe here with You. It’s scary not knowing what could pop up to blind side me today. I trust You to know what is best and to do what is necessary to make me conform to Your will for me.

Thank You God for King David’s words to You in Psalm 51:16,17 “You would not be pleased with sacrifices, or I would bring them. If I brought You a burnt offering, You would not accept it. The sacrifice You want is a broken spirit. A broken and repentant heart, O God, You will not despise.” That You have Oh Lord! My broken and repentant heart!

Reading under the title “Healing the Brokenness” for these verses, I leave with this truth, “God isn’t looking for evidence of how good we are or how hard we try. He only wants us to mourn over our brokenness. Then He will not ignore our needs, but will forgive us, comfort us, and cleanse us.” From this page to Your ears Most Holy God I pray!

I love You so much Dear Lord. It is to You I offer my repentance! Amen.

(756 words ~ 8:03 a.m.)

intentional

Friday, August 7, 2009 (6:16 a.m.)

Loving Lord,

Thank You for the surprises this morning has already brought. The unexpected return of our visiting son, the treasures I am finding in the book of Numbers already this morning. Thank You God, that while I got up expecting to find a quiet, empty house already I’ve been surprised in so many ways.

Beginning with the word ‘intentional’ I was led to the only verse (Numbers 15:25) I could find using it. Digging around this book I find myself feeling challenged, hopeful and distraught all at the same time.

There is talk of Your anger. You are likened to a good parent, who acts out of deep love for his children. Sibling rivalry (Miriam and Aaron’s jealousy toward Moses) is addressed as is the grumbling and complaining of Your people as they continue to rebel against Your plan for them.

I see myself here Lord. I confess to the grumbling I’ve been doing myself these last few days. I keep thinking I’m practicing forgiveness but reading here makes me know that I am only fooling myself. Forgive me, Lord, I pray.

In looking up the meaning of the word distraught, again I see myself. “Deeply upset and agitated: late Middle English origin – alteration of the obsolete adjective distract (from Latin distractus ‘pulled apart’), influenced by straught, archaic past participle of stretch.” Beloved Lord, I confess to feeling ‘stretched’ and ‘pulled apart’.

I confess also to once again falling back into the trap of working so hard at trying to look put together on the outside while not paying full attention at all to what is truly going on inside of me. As You continue Your fining, refining and defining work in me Lord, I do ask for an extra large dose of Your mercy and grace. I truly am a work in Your progress Lord!

All of my own good intentions will not lead me closer to You Dear Lord. Help me become a disciplined, obedient, intentional child of Yours Oh God. I love You so much. Help me please. Amen.

(350 words ~ 7:17 a.m.)

intentional

Friday, August 7, 2009 (6:16 a.m.)

Loving Lord,

Thank You for the surprises this morning has already brought. The unexpected return of our visiting son, the treasures I am finding in the book of Numbers already this morning. Thank You God, that while I got up expecting to find a quiet, empty house already I’ve been surprised in so many ways.

Beginning with the word ‘intentional’ I was led to the only verse (Numbers 15:25) I could find using it. Digging around this book I find myself feeling challenged, hopeful and distraught all at the same time.

There is talk of Your anger. You are likened to a good parent, who acts out of deep love for his children. Sibling rivalry (Miriam and Aaron’s jealousy toward Moses) is addressed as is the grumbling and complaining of Your people as they continue to rebel against Your plan for them.

I see myself here Lord. I confess to the grumbling I’ve been doing myself these last few days. I keep thinking I’m practicing forgiveness but reading here makes me know that I am only fooling myself. Forgive me, Lord, I pray.

In looking up the meaning of the word distraught, again I see myself. “Deeply upset and agitated: late Middle English origin – alteration of the obsolete adjective distract (from Latin distractus ‘pulled apart’), influenced by straught, archaic past participle of stretch.” Beloved Lord, I confess to feeling ‘stretched’ and ‘pulled apart’.

I confess also to once again falling back into the trap of working so hard at trying to look put together on the outside while not paying full attention at all to what is truly going on inside of me. As You continue Your fining, refining and defining work in me Lord, I do ask for an extra large dose of Your mercy and grace. I truly am a work in Your progress Lord!

All of my own good intentions will not lead me closer to You Dear Lord. Help me become a disciplined, obedient, intentional child of Yours Oh God. I love You so much. Help me please. Amen.

(350 words ~ 7:17 a.m.)

Psalm 19

Thursday, August 6, 2009 (6:20 a.m.)

Beloved Lord,

Thank You that I didn’t miss another, “Gasp!” Truly, Lord. I have spent twenty-five minutes trying to find the one word to describe the awe I felt while watching that particular area of the sky upon arising.

Lord, You are incredible! You never cease to amaze. I confess to not locating the verse that keeps attempting to form itself in my mind. I don’t know if the key word is ‘creation’, or ‘works’. It doesn’t appear to be ‘nature’. But it has something to do with even the people that don’t know You personally recognize You because of the beauty of Your earth.

Could it really have been so easy Lord? Was it related to that very first (unknown to me) hymn I turned to, under the heading “God our Father – His Works in Creation”? Psalm 19:1 says “The skies proclaim the work of His hands.” But it didn’t go deeper than that. Not in the direction I thought it would. The hymn “The Spacious Firmament” describes what I’m thinking.

After seeking and not finding, looking but not seeing, perhaps this is what I was thinking of the whole time. The commentary to Psalm 19, verses 1-6, “No one can rightly say that they have never heard about God. His power can be seen throughout our physical world. Even the sun, though silent in the skies, declares every day what God has done. All humans benefit from the sun, and, whether they like it or not, they cannot hide from the message it declares to all the world. God is not a figment of our imagination. He is with us right now, and he desires to help us in our recovery.”

Lord, I ask that You would have me pay much closer attention to where You are leading and directing me. Help me follow You more closely Lord. I love You so much Dear Lord and as the words of verse 14 end this chapter, I sincerely ask, “May my spoken words and unspoken thoughts be pleasing even to You, O Lord my Rock and my Redeemer.” Oh how I love You Lord! Amen

(365 words ~ 7:55 a.m.)

mercies

Wednesday, August 5, 2009 (6:10 a.m.)

Wow, God!

I’m pretty sure that was the first ‘early bird’ that I’ve ever seen with a worm. Thank You for that! Thank You that after the all day beauty of yesterday’s sky, I didn’t want to risk missing it today.

Thank You Lord for Your faithfulness. Thank You that Your mercies truly do begin afresh each day (Lamentations 3:23). Thank You, Most Holy Father, that everywhere I turn this morning there is another song of praise just under the surface. Starting off with “Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see; All I have needed Thy hand has provided – Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!”

Mm, yes Lord! Great is Thy faithfulness! Your compassion, Your loving-kindness. They never end. How blessed we are!

Along with the hope that comes from trusting and believing in Your will and Your way, today I ask You to teach me a little bit more about Your mercies. A hymn related to Psalm 89:1 sings of them. “I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever, I will sing, I will sing, I will sing of the mercies of the Lord. With my mouth will I make known Thy faithfulness, Thy faithfulness, With my mouth will I make known Thy faithfulness to all generations… I will sing of the mercies of the Lord.”

What a tall order Lord, to make known Your faithfulness to all generations. A tall order indeed. Yet, such an honor and a privilege!

Reading a definition of mercies, “compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm”. I am thankful that You are such a merciful God. Detailed a bit more, “an event to be grateful for, esp. because its occurrence prevents something unpleasant or provides relief from suffering; performed out of a desire to relieve suffering; motivated by compassion”.

Thank You Lord. Thank You for Your mercies. Thank You that You are merciful. Thank You for loving us so much. Use this day. Use me, to Your good and to Your glory. I love You Lord. Amen.

(361 words ~ 7:21 a.m.)

stunned

Tuesday, August 4, 2009 (6:08 a.m.)

Oh my goodness God!

Thank You! Thank You that I am not missing this masterpiece. Lazing in bed thinking I’d wait another half an hour. Hobbling through the hallways because my back felt stiff. Glancing out our various windows not seeing anything out of the ordinary.

But then, stop. Gasp! And the very first words out of my mouth were, “Oh my God!” What an incredible way to start a day!

Oh my goodness God! So much color! Red clouds. Beauty of such magnitude I have never seen. Your majesty at its absolute best!

Thank You Lord! Thank You for persuading me to ‘Come, follow’ You into this day. Thank You that I am truly stunned by this whole experience. Another Glimpse Of Glory at its finest!

Most Holy God, I don’t even know where to begin. Isaiah 29:9 says, “Be stunned and amazed”. I am. I truly am. But it’s not talking about a momentary vista. Here Isaiah was outlining principles related to Your coming judgment of Jerusalem.

Verses 13 and 14 share Your words, “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men. Therefore once more I will astound these people with wonder upon wonder”. Isaiah was relaying Your woes to Your people - woes that we must take seriously as well.

Thank You for astounding me this morning Lord. Thank You for all You do to put me in a place of true worship. Fleeting though the moment of beauty may have been. I am once again agog (and stunned) by Your glory!

I love You Lord. Thank You for Your goodness and Your grace. Thank You for the gift of Your love. Enable me to live this day with the full esteem and reverence You so rightly deserve. I love You so much Oh Lord. Amen.

(332 words ~ 7:15 a.m.)

swayed

Monday, August 3, 2009 (6:22 a.m.)

Mm Lord,

It’s beautiful. The sunrise. The sky. The various shades of gray in the clouds above the sharp outline of the mountains. It’s all so beautiful Dear God.

So here I am. Grateful to get to be up with You once again, wishing I had more time to sleep and be lazy. Knowing that being here is far more important than anywhere else. Father God, how do I ever get to the point where choosing You is a ‘no brainer’? I continue to waver. I go back and forth. I attempt to bargain with You, to justify and rationalize.

Thank You that You will have none of my excuses. Thank You that You will not be swayed. Your Word attests to that. Already this morning I have more questions and doubts than praises. Oh, but You are such a good and righteous God! For every critical thought I have Your Word is right here to correct my thinking. Everywhere I’ve turned so far confirms that.

Your Word, the Gospels, the Bible Handbook and the lyrics to Matt Redman’s song all work together to remind me of Your goodness and Your glory (as does the rising of the sun behind this beautiful cloud cover). “Blessed be Your name In the land that is plentiful Where the streams of abundance flow Blessed be Your name Blessed be Your name When I’m found in the desert place Though I walk through the wilderness Blessed be Your name Every blessing You pour out, I turn back to praise When the darkness closes in, Lord Still I will say… Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your name Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your glorious name”

So right here would be the time to confess how often I DON’T turn back to You in praise! Too many times I grump and whine and complain. Something isn’t to my liking, oh poor me. Lord, how I ask that You would continue Your purifying work in me. I’m at a place right now where it seems I doubt far more than I trust.

Reading this commentary in regards to John the Baptist just gave me a modicum of hope. I originally was reading about John’s strength of character (Matthew 7:24-28) and of course feeling even worse about myself. But just after confessing my doubt to You I glanced back down to the ‘wrong’ paragraph (describing vs. 18-19). The first sentence teaches me “This account of John the Baptist shows that even the strongest believers will go through times of discouragement and doubt.” Thank You Lord that as I continue reading I am again buoyed by Your grace and goodness. “God invites us to do likewise (ask honestly) and bring our doubts to Jesus, who will gently move us along the path of discovery and recovery.”

Mm Lord. It’s what I ask right now. I have doubts. I question my ability and my integrity. You are powerful. You are mighty. I bring them all to You asking that You not be swayed in Your love for me. Keep working in and through me oh Lord, that I would truly become worthy in Your sight. I love You so much. Amen.

(546 words ~ 7:30 a.m.)

wonders

Sunday, August 2, 2009 (6:25 a.m.)

Beloved Lord,

I love You. I love waking up in the morning and thinking about You. I confess to not being as eager to get up this morning as on some of the other days, but thoughts of getting to come spend time with and learn more about You finally won out. Thank You for every single time this happens!

You are so good and so faithful. When it comes to wondering how You are able to be so consistently perfect, I confess to leading the pack on wonders. With that said, how pleased am I to be able to come before You this morning singing wholeheartedly “Lord of all creation Of water, earth and sky The heavens are Your tabernacle Glory to the Lord on high God of wonders beyond our galaxy You are holy, holy The universe declares Your majesty You are holy, holy Lord of heaven and earth”

How blessed am I that I get to come before You time and after time? What an honor and a privilege. Father, again I confess to taking this gift of You so easily for granted. You deserve so much more from me. Truly I ask that You burn these words into my heart, that I dare not only sing them with my mouth. It is far too simple to merely give You lip service.

“Early in the morning I celebrate the light When I stumble in the darkness I will lift Your name by night” See? Right here. This is where I so often moan at the thought of waking to Your early morning light. Far worse than that is when I actually curse the darkness as I stumble.

“God of wonders beyond our galaxy You are holy, holy The universe declares Your majesty You are holy, holy Hallelujah to the Lord of heaven and earth Hallelujah to the Lord of heaven and earth… Precious Lord, reveal Your heart to me Father, holy, holy The universe declares Your majesty You are holy, holy, holy, holy”

What an incredible way to start my day. Considering Your wonders and singing Your praises. Lord, how I ask that You would be in each and every encounter I have today. Make me aware of every single blessing You have for me. Truly Lord, I don’t want to miss a thing!

Even here Lord You bless me. As I turn to read Nebuchadnezzar’s words in Daniel (4:2-3) I’m drawn to the description of the book. In it I read the words ‘innocent bystanders’, ‘hurt’, ‘mistakes’, ‘crimes’, ‘other people’, ‘unfairness of life’. More than simply balancing out the spectrum are the words ‘assurance’, ‘God’, ‘honor’, ‘faithfulness’, ‘obedience’, ‘not victims forever’, ‘delivered’, ‘freedom’.

Lord, in the past I’ve pretended to understand the wonders of Your majesty. Right now I simply confess to being awed by them and by You. I love You so much Dear Lord. Thank You for this time together to be reminded of and encouraged by the faithfulness of others. Thank You for Your love. Thank You for Your wonders. Amen.

(514 words ~ 7:44 a.m.)

wonderful

Saturday, August 1, 2009 (7:42 a.m.)

Wonderful God,

I love You! What a wonderful way to start the day. After a blissful night of deep and reparative sleep, waking up and having my first thoughts be of You. Yes, Lord. Wonderful!

Thank You Father for the things You are helping me learn. Being able to turn in Your Word each day for comfort and guidance is such a blessing. Coming to look at situations and circumstances as either ‘blessings’ or ‘lessons’ is yet another freeing aspect of living each day in and with and through You. Thank You Lord.

Thank You that I get to be here with You right now. Seemingly all alone, in a house with two sleeping loved ones. You are so good to us Dear Lord. A deep sense of peace and protection replaces the hypervigilance with which I used to approach each day. Thank You Lord.

Thank You so much for supplying Your Word, Your Son, Your Spirit for us to cling to in times of peril and hopelessness. You are our hope. You are our good and wonderful God.

Reading Psalm 107 right now, I feel as though I am actually part of the recitation of events here. “Say thank You to the Lord for being so good, for always being so loving and kind (v.1). Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out! Tell others He has saved you from your enemies (2).”

Descriptions of exile, homelessness, those sitting in darkness, crushed by misery, rebels, scorners, fools (3-17). Upon turning to You, crying for help and having You lead them straight to safety and a place to live. From the darkness and shadow of death, snapping their chains, breaking down their prison gates of brass and cutting apart their iron bars. And the sailors on the seven seas cringing in terror as their ships are tossed. They cried out to You and You saved them, calming the storm and stilling the waves, bringing them safely into harbor (23-30).

“Oh, that these men would praise the Lord for His loving-kindness, and for all of His wonderful deeds! (8, 15, 21, 31) For He satisfies the thirsty soul and fills the hungry soul with good (9)... Listen, if you are wise, to what I am saying. Think about the loving-kindness of the Lord! (43)”

Blessed Wonderful Lord, thank You for the blessings You so perfectly and wonderfully provide. Continue Your work in each of us, bringing us ever closer to becoming the people You first created us to be.

I love You Lord. And I DO thank You for Your loving-kindness and all of Your wonderful deeds. Make me worthy of them I pray dear Lord. Amen.

(450 words ~ 8:59 a.m.)