And, and, and ...

Friday, October 16, 2015 (7:37 a.m.)

Holy, Blessed God,

I love You. Thank You for rest. And safety.

(8:51 a.m.)

And options. And choices. And, and, and …

Holy God, my mind is currently all over the place. Not on You. Nor the blessings. Not even on overwhelming doubts and fears.

Ah, that's what this is ~ apathy! Forgive me Father. You provide our every need. And I don't even have what it takes to offer You a wholehearted “Thank You”.

And even here You give me another “Aha” moment.

Blessed God, THANK YOU! Thank You that You do not want me to come before You in pretense. All this time I have been attempting to present You with a grateful heart. But in reality, what You want from me is truth. Honesty. Passion.

And for the last 24 hours the truth I have been avoiding showing You is fear. And awkwardness. Sadness. Really, truly, profound sadness.

Holy God, THANK YOU that I get to be this honest with You. And why? Because I was reading in Your Word. And about Your Word.

Psalm 39. King David was honest with You. The Life Recovery Bible comments for this psalm pointed me to the apathy I have been using to mask my own disappointment with myself.

Ah, there it is. I continue to think that because You have given me so very much in my life that You must be as completely disappointed with the way I use Your blessings as I am. I berate myself for not doing and thinking and being all that I think would be most pleasing to You.

Get me out of Your way I pray most Blessed God! It IS in You I trust. Not me. Not circumstances. Not my opinion of myself. You. YOU!

And I am here asking You to provide me the ability to use Your blessings to Your good and to Your glory. Do all You must to change my heart, my soul, my mind (Mark 12:30) to loving You as You desire.

I DO love You, Father! Use me as only You knows is best. Thank You for loving me exactly as I am. Enable me to do the same. Thank You, Father. Thank You, Son. Thank You, Holy Spirit. Amen.

(381 words ~ 9:41 a.m.)