♪Don’t Stop Believin’♪

Wednesday, July 15, 2020 (4:19 a.m.)

Awesome, Blessed, Holy God,

You’ve done it again. Thank You.

You took my unwilling, angry heart and started melting it. Thank You Lord.

Thank You for when You do in, with, by, through and for me that which I cannot do myself. Like forgive.

Holy God, every single time the husband and I hit an impasse it turns into such a hurtful, hateful mess. In the midst of the uproar I most often refuse to come to You. Unable to drop my willful [WON’T full] attitude, I attempt to steel myself against further pain.

Thank You for continuing to sing to me. Often in the most bizarre ways. ♪Last Christmas♪ got an automatic “No!” from my already closed and hardened heart.

Oh but You are not One to leave me stewing in my own juices are You? No, You keep trying. On my behalf.

Every attempt to read Your Word was met with a quick closing of it. All the way ’til I recognized yet another of Your Truths and promises in a decades old pop song by Journey of all bands.

♪Don’t Stop Believin’♪ didn’t register with me right away. And when it did? Finally! A smile followed. And the willingness to let go of the chokehold I had on my pain.

Father, forgive me. I wasn’t able to drop my guard on my own. I refused the risk of getting my feelings misunderstood and hurt again. All the way until just moments ago when I recognized Your point.

Blessed God, thank You for being such a ♪Good, Good Father♪ to each and every one of us. For providing for us everything we need to turn our hurts and our pain over to You. Finally willing to say, “I can’t. You can. I’ll let You.”

Thank You Father. Could I have some sleep now? Amen.

(318 words ~ 4:50 a.m.)