dogged determination

Saturday, May 26, 2018 (6:32 a.m.)

I am looking to You for strength, guidance, stick-to-itiveness. Yes Blessed God, I am looking to You to provide a dogged perseverance that I otherwise lack.

(8:59 a.m.)

Oh Most Dear and Blessed God,

I love You so much.

(9:47 a.m.)

See? Even in the midst of “I love You so much” something comes along to interrupt us. Now I’m back again. Still asking for a level of persistence that is so completely foreign to me.

(10:19 a.m.)

How perfect is this illustration of how easily I get sidetracked.

Backing up. I LOVE YOU! Yes. I absolutely love You. I love You and I depend on You. Your Word tells me repeatedly how I am to approach our relationship.

I was prepared to say, “With reverence and awe”. Instead I looked up what Your holy Book has to say. John 14:6, “Jesus told him [Thomas], ‘no one can come to the Father except through me.’”

Hmmm…Deep breath. Teary eyes. Lots of emotions.

Father there is an excitement brewing inside that just wants to scream out all the possibilities that are found in seeking You. Every thought, sentiment, gut feeling rattling around inside me yearns to be first in line of consideration.

Blessed God, I need You to temper it all.

I started off this morning, before even opening my eyes wanting desperately for Jesus to “magically” transform my circumstances into something doable.

I knew that I am in over my head. With so much to do and such little time to get it done. Indeed I wanted what I have come to 

(11:00 a.m.)

Are You joking me?

Right in the middle of a thought to You, I jumped and ran again. What better illustration do we need?

Again. Deep breath. Settled thinking. Asking. Seeking. Knocking. Wanting desperately for You to lead me through this chaos that is currently my way of thinking.

Now I remember the point I was trying to express.

… I have come to think of all things “magical” as “mercy and grace in Christ’s abiding [abounding] love”. Yes Father. I am in over my head. I have Your Truth. Your promises. Your Word. Your Son. All I need with which to align myself.

I trust You Father. I absolutely need You in every single aspect of this present endeavor. I surrender myself to Jesus’ leadings. Asking to be aligned with YOUR will, not mine. Your way.

In Paul’s second letter to Timothy, he wrote to encourage his young protégé. “To encourage a faithful but discouraged Timothy in continuing to do God’s work” (The Life Recovery Bible THE BOTTOM LINE).

In chapter two, A Good Soldier of Christ Jesus, Paul began with these words, “Timothy, my dear son, be strong with the special favor [read here by me as MAGIC ~ mercy and grace in Christ] God gives you in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 2:1).

The adjoining commentary says, “Paul didn’t tell Timothy just to be strong; he told him to be strong in Christ Jesus. The apostle knew that Timothy could never succeed in his ministry by depending on his own strength. He needed the only power sufficient for godly living - God. The Truth that God gives us the power to live a transformed life is good news, and we need to pass it on to others!”

Father, there is a palpable storm brewing within me. With an underlying calm I have come to know is Jesus.

I liken it to James’ warning of asking You for wisdom. “But when you ask Him, be sure that you really expect Him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind” (James 1:6).

Yep! That’s me right now. And is exactly why I am seeking what I have never possessed. Perseverance. Dogged determination. The ability to “Continue!”.

Paul told Timothy to “Follow the Lord’s rules for doing his work, just as an athlete either follows the rules or is disqualified and wins no prize. Hardworking farmers are the first to enjoy the fruits of their labor. Think about what I am saying. The Lord will give you understanding in all these things” (2 Timothy 2:5-7).

A Step 10 devotion on this section assures me that I am not alone in my struggle. “Recovery is a lifelong process. There will be times when we grow weary and want to throw in the towel. We will experience pain, fear, and a host of other emotions.”

Hello! Not alone!

“We will win some battles but lose others in the war to achieve wholeness.” This IS a war! We are told that over and over. No wonder I am experiencing signs of battle fatigue [smile].

“We may get discouraged at times when we can’t see any progress, even though we have been working hard. But if we persevere through it all, we can maintain the ground we have gained.”

Thank You Father. I’ve said it before. I love You. I need You. I long to serve You. Make it so Blessed God. Make it so.

Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(874 words ~ 11:51 a.m.)