unfailing love and faithfulness

Good Friday, April 3, 2015 (8:34 a.m.)

Holy, Merciful God,

Thank You for Your love for each and every one of us (John 3:16). Thank You for that love that translated into the suffering and death of Your “only begotten Son”. Thank You that it is THAT incredible love and sacrifice that is remembered throughout the world this day.

Blessed Father, there is no thanks I can offer You that would be deemed “enough” for all You have done on our accounts. No thanks that is worthy. You alone are God (Psalm 86:10). Holy (Revelation 15:4).

I believe it. Trust You. Yet still I stomp my feet. Clinch my fists. And growl at You. You know what You have planned for me. You know all that is going on inside that is causing such consternation.

And even here I relax a little. There's a bit of a smile as I take a deep breath and release a more satisfied sigh. You know the plans You have for us (Jeremiah 29:11). “O Lord, You have examined my heart and know everything about me” (Psalm 139:1). Nothing I confess will come as any bit of a surprise to You.

I get to be honest with You. I also get to be willing to ask You to “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends You, and lead me along the path of everlasting life” (Psalm 139:23-24).

Blessed Father God, thank You. On this day that represents Your great love for the world how I ask You to “Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me... The sacrifice You want is a broken spirit. A broken and repentant heart, O God, You will not despise” (Psalm 51:10; 17).

You are good. I am made in Your image (Genesis 1:27). “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – and how well I know it” (Psalm 139:13-14).

Holy Father, I confess to You the struggle going on inside me. The turmoil. All the things I'm not. Unrealized expectations. Disappointments. An enormous loss of hope.

Yes. How I thank You that I get to tell You straight out that even with all the blessings You have bestowed upon us, I continue battling an overwhelming degree of hopelessness. A profound sense that nothing really matters. That it makes no difference how hard we work and try and think and pray, we are going to stay lost.

Thank You that I get to confess my doubts and hurts and ask You to do all You must to remove them from me. As far as the east is from the west...

And here I get to jump up and down with excitement! There's a genuine glimpse of joy and gratitude. A feeling of being AGOG with You that has been missing for oh-so-long.

Father, thank You! Thank You for loving me with Your unfailing love and faithfulness (John 1:14; 17). That grace and truth that does not end.

I read Your Word. I absolutely trust Your Word. And even in believing Your Word to be Truth, I continue telling myself I am not enough. Then I read Psalm 103. All of it. Coming here especially for verse 12. Oh how You bless us!

A Life Recovery Bible devotional entitled Forgiveness written about the entirety of the psalm begins, “We may have a hard time believing in God's forgiveness.” It reviews our self-doubts. Mistakes. Fears. Errors in thinking. Hurts we've caused.

It then continues, “when it comes to forgiveness from God, we need to remember that His ways are higher than our ways. The psalmist wrote, '[God] has not punished us for all our sins, nor does He deal with us as we deserve. For His unfailing love toward those who fear Him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our rebellious acts as far away from us as the east is from the west' (Psalm 103:10-12). God has said, 'Come now, let us argue this out... No matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can remove it. I can make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you as white as wool' (Isaiah 1:18). 'I – yes, I alone – am the One who blots out your sins for My own sake and will never think of them again' (Isaiah 43:25).”

Wait a minute! I get to argue with You? All this time I've been thinking of myself as the worst of the worse because I would dare to be that honest with You. I've been holding back. Hedging. Not saying it all because You deserve so much better from me. Thank You that You would affirm my belief that I HAVE to be completely honest, open and willing with You. Even if that means arguing it out with You. Oh praise You Blessed Father. Absolute praise and full esteem and reverence to You!

Before I leave here for the day to go a service honoring Your Beloved Son, I continue the quote on forgiveness. “Part of the recovery process is accepting complete forgiveness from God. When we come to God through the atoning blood of Jesus Christ, His forgiveness is complete. We may keep track of our failures, adding each one to the long list we have written out against ourself. But God doesn't keep lists of our past sins; in His eyes we are clean.”

And why is that? Because of what this day represents! “The atoning blood of Jesus Christ”. And Your unfailing love and faithfulness.

Thank You Father. Bless You. Praise You. And Jesus? Thank YOU for Your sacrifice on my behalf. I love You. I thank You. I praise You. Use me as You must to serve You as You wish. I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(1015 words ~ 10:46 a.m.)