Monday, December 31, 2018 (8:15 a.m.)
Lake Arrowhead, CA
Last day. Old year. Brat. Witch. Bad behavior. Refusal. Hallmark. Give. Take. Balance. Joy? Peace. Alternative. Change. Courage. Wisdom. Acceptance. Willingness?
(8:27 a.m.)
Okay ~ let’s see… Am I willing Dear God? Willing to accept with grace the things that cannot be changed? Or am I just digging my heels into this mountain of resistance that I myself have created?
I know I am. Forgiveness. Letting go. Willingness…
(8:50 a.m.)
These are the very same words I have fought tooth and nail against these past three days. I have an extremely harsh judgment going on with myself. A genuine battle between right and wrong.
Knowing I am to forgive…
(9:19 a.m.)
And resisting every step of the way.
Holy God, You have so much to teach me. So very much to change in me.
Willingness. That is exactly what I am praying at this moment. A willingness to forgive. Drop the guard around my heart. Release the resistance.
Hmm… there’s some kind of huge metaphor going on here. Body building comes to mind…
(9:32 a.m.)
Resist. Release. Repeat. Teach me Father. I believe I’m on the verge of experiencing one of Your Truths here. There are so many examples in Your Word.
(10:25 a.m.)
Progress not perfection. Practice principles.
(10:36 a.m.)
“A life set free from all addictions is a beautiful sight to behold…” (The Life Recovery Bible devotional for Isaiah 61:1-3).
(11:19 a.m.)
“No regrets” Lord, thank You. You are teaching me to accept things without regretting circumstances.
I have behaved horribly. Withdrawing. Shutting down. Refusing. Resisting. And YOU continue teaching me to let it all go. In love.
“In Christ are healing and freedom, clarity and mercy, beauty and joy” (Our Mission devotional). “To all who mourn in Israel [Zion], He will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the LORD has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for His own glory” (Isaiah 61:3).
(11:43a.m.)
Three days ago my feelings got hurt. I honestly have no idea what caused the derailment that resulted. I DO know that today I am grateful!
Grateful that I get to bring it all to You.
(11:55 a.m.)
Resistantly at first. And then? Repentantly! (Revelation3:19)
While I struggled, You never left me alone. ♪Oh no, You never let go♪
As I continue scouring Your Word [and hearing Alan Jackson sing Gospel on the Hallmark Channel] my heart is settled. At peace. Calm. Without regret. Thank You Father.
2 Corinthians 7:10, “For God can use sorrow in our lives to help us turn away from sin and seek salvation. We will never regret that kind of sorrow. But sorrow without repentance is the kind that results in death.”
(NOON)
Snow! Unforecasted. Unexpected. Completely out of a clear blue sky. Thank You Father. Thank You.
Use me as unexpectedly as this present snowfall. Gently. Effectively.
The very last paragraph for “Constructive Sorrow 2 Corinthian 7:8-11” (The Life Recovery Bible) tells us, “The Corinthians’ grief was good, it came from honest self-evaluation, not morbid self-condemnation.”
The pattern of my past is to regret. Rue. Ruminate. Thank You for teaching me the importance of resisting, repenting, releasing and repeating.
Again and again. Seventy times seven (Matthew 18:21-22).
Thank You Father. Praise You. Happy end of another year. Use me well I pray. I love You. Amen.
(603 words ~ 12:43 p.m.)
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