discern and decide

Monday, January 28, 2013 (8:58 a.m.)

Most Amazing and Incredible Father God,

Thank You that I know I need to come to You with this! We have some HUGE decisions and discernments we need to make today. You know what You would have us do at this stage of the game. You know the decisions You would have us make.

Mistakes were made. And oh my goodness, is the Scripture passage (2 Samuel 14:15-17) I've turned to containing these two words ever dredging up unexpected thoughts and feelings! The further I read (back to chapter 13) the deeper the roots of denial on my part are going.

This is not at all what I was expecting! But right here in the midst of it I am thanking You. Father, You do not cease in the ways You will bring Your Truth into our lives.

One minute I am asking You to help us in our discerning and decision making process and the next You are uncovering even longer ignored problems. Relational problems. NOT the structural ones I was bringing to You.

Father, how I ask You to work in us this day. Use our present state to unearth and repair relationships You would have restored.

Comments in The Life Recovery Bible mention Honesty. We are in desperate need of that! “When the injustices experienced in the past case us pain, we often seek to bury them in the deep recesses of our mind. Being dishonest with ourselves in this way, however almost always allows pain from the past to translate into mistakes and suffering in the future.” AMEN!

Reading further, I am reminded just how good and faithful You are! I came to You asking that You would help us discern and decide a plumbing problem. In so doing, I recognize my need to confess and repent a relational one.

Father God, I have withheld complete forgiveness of another. Seeds of bitterness and resentment lie deep beneath the surface. Here I further confess that I am powerless over the emotions involved in this particular unresolved problem of the past.

While I have come to believe that YOU, the Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity, I struggle to make the decision [would You just look at that!] to turn my will and my life over to Your care. Father I know You to be good. I also know You to be trustworthy. This should absolutely be a no brainer!

I confess fear to You. Fear that I won't measure up. I'll fall short of Your expectations of me. As I continue reading in a Recovery Profile of AMNON & TAMAR and insights from them as well, I am even more aware of You speaking to directly to my heart and my soul.

“When we are living in denial, ignoring a festering problem in our life, God often uses other people [like David's dysfunction family] to confront us with the real issues. I thought I was coming here asking for help with water damage!

“Forgiveness and the restoration of relationships are two primary concerns in recovery. David's disregard for these principles brought painful consequences upon both his family and his kingdom.” Father, work in and through me to YOUR end! I love You so very much. And I DO long to honor and serve You well.

Thank You for loving and forgiving me. Empower me to likewise with others. I love You. Amen.

(576 words ~ 11:33 a.m.)