heart's desire

Thursday, May 14, 2015 (7:27 a.m.)

Blessed Father God,

Just over six hours ago You reminded me of how much I have not been relying on You. You're right, of course! I have absolutely slipped back to trying to do things on my own. With my understanding. In my strength. And based on fear.

This is not Your way. You work out of love. Not fear. Your understanding and strength, not mine. Speak to me of these things. I have Your Word at the ready. Show me all You want me to know. Please.

At one o'clock this morning I was recounting to You my heart's desire of learning to play the piano so much better than I do. This is not a passing fancy. It's a dream [goal, wish, hope, intention...] that has spanned every single decade of my life thus far. What to do?

I've tried. And wished. Struggled. Prayed. Cried. Practiced. Hurt. Quit. Come back. Tried more. And still? Frustration!

So. I bring it to You. My heart's desire. How perfectly appropriate that the Bible verses (Psalm 37:4-5) I am currently leaning into direct me straight to the CHILDREN'S HYMNS section of The Hymnal for Worship & Celebration.

Father, thank You! Thank You that You know my child-like heart. You know the deepest desires that lie within there. You are the One who is intimately involved in my wanting, my thinking, my being and my doing (Mark 12:30). It's You I long to glorify. So how?

How best do I ♫Commit Thy Way to the Lord, trust also in Him. Commit thy way unto the Lord, and He will bring it to pass♫? I confess, I truly don't know how best to continue.

I want. I try. I fail, more than I succeed. I try again. Impatience grows. And tears ultimately follow. Comments for Psalm 37 help encourage me to continue.

Illustrated Bible Handbook, “David exhorts patience and trust when pressures come. The theme 'wait for the Lord' is repeated, with warnings against hasty action.”

The Life Recovery Bible, “We need to do things that have lasting value – faithfully serving God and helping the people around us. God's formula for our success is that we develop a relationship with Him and determine to serve Him in everything we do. Then, in God's perfect timing, we will experience the true joy God promises and freedom from the guilt heaped upon us by others.”

And this includes learning to play the piano without pain? Both internally and externally? Am I taking liberties with Your Word that I ought, or ought not?

“Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart's desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him and He will help you” (Psalm 37:4-5). Even musical improvement?

Father, how I ask You to hear my childhood's heart desire. I want to play the piano as easily as I breathe and swim.

(1:03 p.m.)

And now Dearest Dad, I have a request for our neighbors. Comfort their hurting hearts. A sudden, absolutely unexpected death of their much loved pet has us all mourning the loss of this endearing friend. No sense can be made of it by us. Bless and keep them Dear Father. He will be sorely missed.

Father, thank You that we have You to turn to with our every hearts' desires. Always. You are ever faithful in You attentiveness to our every need. We turn to You Dear God. Always to You.

Thank You. Guide and direct me the rest of this day. I love You. And long to serve You well. Thank You. Amen.

(602 words ~ 1:10 p.m.)