be direct

Memorial Monday, May 25, 2015 (5:52 a.m.)

Blessed God,

Good morning. I have a cough. Very little voice. And quite a bit scheduled for the day. Rather than jump right into it all, I'm asking [seeking, knocking – Matthew 7:7] Your guidance here.

Mm, yes Father. I am looking right to You asking how best to proceed from here.

The Message tells us, “Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn't a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn't think of such a thing. You're at least decent to your own children. So don't you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?” (Matthew 7:7-11).

Be direct. Hmm. I don't think I know how to do that. Ask for what I need? That entails figuring out what that is.

Father, I'm confessing to not wanting to be direct because I don't want to risk being disappointed. I also don't want to appear selfish. With all that's going on in the world, do I really want to bother you with a cough and very little voice?

Yes. But no. See? I waffle back and forth. The 'weirdness' I feel going on in my head and parts of my body dates back more than a week. There's a ton of self-recrimination going on here. Had I only eaten better, exercised more none of this would be happening...

So here I am, a product of my own mismanagement asking You to fix what I have not taken proper care of. How do I not bargain with You? Just come right out and say, “I don't feel good. Please make me better.”? When the truth really is I have felt better. I haven't made great choices and I think I'm only suffering the consequences of my own poor judgment.

What a can of worms I seem to have right here. That whole vicious cycle of 'I have not because I ask not' (James 4:2b-3) starts to come to light in chapter one. “If you need wisdom – if you want to know what God wants you to do – ask Him, and He will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking” (James 1:5).

It's what follows that causes me to shrink back in self-recognition. “But when you ask Him, be sure you really expect Him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. People like that should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. They can't make up their minds. They waver back and forth in everything they do (James 1:6-8).

That's me right there. I want to feel better. But I don't ask You 'cause what if You tell me to do something I don't want to do? How indirect is that? So, getting my will out of Your way truly I am asking You to lead and guide me through this entire day.

Set my schedule to Yours. Provide exactly what is needed for success in the undertakings we have planned. Well oil the machine that will bring glory and honor to Your name. When all is said and done it is You I want to glorify and enjoy forever. Too often I forget that.

Yes, Father. Thank You for reminding me that our everyday plans here are not near as important as eternity with You. I love You. I want to honor You. Teach me. Guide me. Show me. How direct is that? 

The day is Yours. Use me in it as You wish. I Love You Father. Thank You. Amen.

 (640 words ~ 7:28 a.m.)