I wonder

Saturday, October 27, 2012 (6:34 a.m.)

Loving Father,

(7:15 a.m.)

I'm still trying to get started here. I keep wondering. Why is it that I cannot shake the song that came to mind so clearly over an hour ago.

It took awhile. I wasn't at all sure what it was. And then it seemed to make perfect sense. Until I got here and then it turned back into a question mark.

♫Oh yes I wonder what she's doing tonight Oh oh I wonder what she's doing tonight♫ It starts out talking about love then friendship and doubt and leaving and spite and again wonder. And that's exactly where I am still. Wondering.

Triune God, I thought for sure I knew where we were going together this morning. I was planning to thank You for Your consistent comfort to me throughout the night. Every time I awoke from one dream or another it seemed we had this little bit of time together. Then right before fully waking up the song started. And right now I fully confess I DO wonder what You want me to do with it!

I've tried searching Your Word. I've attempted ignoring it. Now I'm just putting it out here to You, where in Your Word do You want me?

Is it Psalm 42? Am I stretching this section to fit myself? You tell me Father. The Message uses the phrase “I wonder” in verse two, right after “I want to drink God, deep draughts of God. I'm thirsty for God alive.” Isn't that the Truth! “I wonder, 'Will I ever make it – arrive and drink in God's presence?'” (Psalm 42:2b).

The psalmist goes back and forth between hope and discouragement throughout this psalm. How grateful I am that verse eight so resembles the time we had together last night, “Yet day by day the Lord pours out His steadfast love upon me, and through the night I sing His songs and pray to God who gives me life.”

The last verse of this psalm is where the song changes. No longer am I singing ♫I wonder♫ It's been replaced because of Your Truth. Psalm 42:11, “But, O my soul, don't be discouraged. Don't be upset. Expect God to act! For I know that I shall again have plenty of reason to praise Him for all He will do. He is my help! He is my God!”

And the new song? It's one I've been referencing all week long without knowing it's name. ♫You Never Let Go♫ Starting with the idea of walking through the valley of the shadow of death and Your love casting out fear, it builds steadily to the Truth we can stand on.

♫Yes, I can see a light that is coming For the heart that holds on And there will be an end to these troubles But until that day comes Still I will praise You, still I will praise You♫ And why is that?

♫So strong So wise So loving Lord Oh no, You never let go Through the calm and through the storm Oh no, You never let go In every high and every low Oh no, You never let go Lord, You never let go of me♫

Thank You Loving Father. Thank You Faithful Son. Thank You powerful Holy Spirit. Thank You that You can once again change my wonder to Your Truth.

And now a request. Things I planned to do yesterday didn't get done. I am asking Your help, Your guidance, Your prioritizing of the time it will take. Work in and through me. Enable and empower me even to discard some things that we truly no longer need. That in itself would definitely show You at work.

Thank You God. All Three of You in One. I love You and I absolutely want to serve You well. Thank You. Amen.

(648 words ~ 8:34 a.m.)