brink

Friday, November 30, 2018 (6:46 a.m.)

Holy God,

Thank You.

(9:11 a.m.)

Yes Father, thank You.

Thank You for choices. Options. Ideas. Plans. Thank You for the ones that work. And even for those that don’t.

Holy God, I’m in a situation. I know I have to change the way I have been eating. When I think about it, it’s been over two years that I’ve known it. Yet, I keep playing with the persuasion that this one little thing can’t possibly hurt.

I’m here to tell You what You already know. I guess that borders on confessing. No. Much more like a brink!

Mm, yes most Holy God. You are so incredibly good and kind. Forgive me for my foolishness. I continue eating all the things I want to believe will not harm me. Just this one little taste. I’m even going to go so far as to tell You that right at this very moment I don’t even want to change.

Much earlier, as I was waking, I knew I had to. I was committed. Ready. Willing. Here we are, a few hours into relearning good common sense and it’s harder this time. I look to You for help.

As I come to You on the brink of change again I thank You. Brink: a point at which something, typically something unwelcome, is about to happen. Yep! Exactly that.

Getting to turn to Your Word (Psalm 86) and read A prayer of David, I smile. And hope. Focusing on verses 11-17 humbly I ask You, “Train me, GOD, to walk straight; then I’ll follow Your true path. Put me together, one heart and mind; then undivided, I’ll worship in joyful fear. From the bottom of my heart I thank You, dear Lord; I’ve never kept secret what You’re up to. You’ve always been great toward me - what love! You snatched me from the brink of disaster!”

I believe this Father. How I ask for the strength and courage to make good on this commitment to You. And to my body for it’s own good health’s sake.

“God, these bullies [read here as: deceitful thoughts] have reared their heads! A gang of thugs [again; lying justifications] is after me - and they don’t care a thing about You. But You, O God, are both tender and kind, not easily angered, immense in love, and You never, never quit. So look me in the eye and show kindness, give Your servant the strength to go on, save Your dear, dear child! Make a show of how much You love me so the bullies [deceivers] who hate me will stand there slack-jawed, As You, GOD, gently and powerfully put me back on my feet.”

Oh yes Blessed God. Yes. Yes. Yes!

Illustrated Bible Handbook describes this chapter as “Psalm 86. God’s abounding love meets David’s deepest needs (1-10) as he chooses to commit himself fully to God’s Truth (11-17).”

That description describes me well as I confess my careless, foolish ways to You. Asking, seeking, knocking (Matthew 7:7) for the strength of will and heart to eat as You are commanding me. Mindfully. Systematically. Controlled. For four days.

“86:11-17 We only know God’s will as we seek to know Him through prayer and the study of His Word. The more we know about God, the more we know what He expects of us. As we get to know God better, we will discover the He gives us not only direction but also the strength and encouragement we need to walk the pathway He has chosen for us” (The Life Recovery Bible).

Yes Father. I believe this to be true. Your pathway. Your direction. Your strength and encouragement. Please. Thank You. I love You. And desperately need You. Thank You. Amen.

(639 words ~ 10:19 a.m.)