relentlessly pursued

Thursday, December 8, 2016 (5:31 a.m.)

Holy God,

Thank You. I keep making mistakes. There are SO many things I don't know. Can't understand. Haven't figured out. The seemingly simplest things get the better of me. Repeatedly!

Again I turn to Your Word and am once more immediately brought to tears. Thank You Father. Thank You for the opportunity of reading Your Truth and promises.

I definitely have a problem being kind to myself. Second guessing, self-doubt and relentless inner criticism come easy.

(7:01 a.m.)

Blessed Holy God,

Thank You that even though negative attributes quite often seem to rule my thinking, YOU are Truth! Thank You that in the very midst of reading Faith and Reason in Illustrated Bible Handbook regarding Job's struggles, my soul again started singing...

♫All my hope is in You♫

Wanting to continue reading instead of singing, I tried ignoring the prompting. Ever so subtly, there it was again... ♫My hope is in You, Lord In You, it's in You♫

Thank You Father. Thank You that You will not be ignored!

Here (hear?) again the word “relentless”. Persistent, continuing, constant, never-ending, tenacious, single-minded...

And I give in. To You! Looking up the song I find that it's ♫My Life is in You, Lord♫ Yes! My life... My strength... My hope... it's in You!

I have tears and tissues all over the place right now. My eyes are blurred. Nose is running. Heart is breaking.

I miss my mom and the delight she brought into all of our lives! I constantly fight the turmoil in my head of “What's the point?” and “It's not worth it.”

Father, YOU are the point! YOU are worth it all!

Forgive my shortsightedness. Thank You for taking my emotional weariness and reminding me again of just exactly what we are here for. YOU!

Thank You for an e-article entitled God's Relentless Pursuit of Us in Love by Jim Feiker. Thank You that its opening Scripture reference is one that I know well, but given here in The Message did not immediately recognize.

“Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life” (Psalm 23:6a). Chase after me. Like I often do with misbehaving children. Bringing me full circle to the mistakes I keep making.

Thank You Father that You are permanent. You last. You provide. And I get to keep practicing trusting You and Your promises.

Father, I am asking You right now to fill me with Your Spirit that I would truly live this day as You would have me live it. Joyfully. Lovingly. Hopefully. Through the strength of Your mighty power (Ephesians 6:10).

I love You, Dad. Discipline me exactly as You know is best. I am Your child. Train me up in the way I should go (Proverbs 22:6). Teach me to choose the right path that I would not depart from it.

I love You. I want to serve You. Exactly as You wish to be served. Do a miracle in me this day Blessed God. Let me live and use wisely and well all the blessings You have provided. I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(526 words ~ 8:09 a.m.)