feeling put upon

Wednesday, August 7, 2013 (7:05 a.m.)

Awesome God,

Here I am. Just as I am. Feeling grumpy. Bitter. Resentful. Building deadly mountains out of puny molehills. Father, forgive me. I keep sliding deeper and deeper into the pit of self. I confess to behaving badly. Walling myself off. Holding back for fear of getting hurt. And hurting others in the process.

Father, I come to You. ♫Just as I am, without one plea But that Your blood was shed for me♫ (John 6:37). I come. Dragging my feet. Kicking and screaming the whole way. I have not been revering Your holiness. I have been doubting. And whining. Building cases of justification in my heart and soul and mind.

I confess to not being loving. Or kind. I have been behaving hurtfully and hatefully. I've been wanting others to pay because I have been feeling put upon and misunderstood. This is not the way I want to live Dearest Father. You have definitely raised me better than this.

So here I am confessing to feeling put upon. My good nature taken advantage of. And I am asking You the Holiest of Holies to do something good and wonderful, kind and loving with my hurtful and hateful heart.

This behavior isn't me. It is exactly why You sent Your Son into this world. To save the lost