Step Seven

Tuesday, February 15, 2011 (12:21 p.m.)

Loving Lord,

You kept me company all night long. Every time my back hurt or my thoughts spun out of control, You were right there singing hymns of peace to me. Thank You Lord. Thank You that even though I have purposefully attempted to ignore You all morning long, here I am.

Here, to ♫Pour out my heart To say that I love You Pour out my heart To say that I need You Pour out my heart To say that I’m thankful Pour out my heart To say that You’re wonderful Lord, that You’re wonderful♫

Thank You Lord. I forgot. I thought I had to carry this burden of not feeling okay by myself. I forgot that You are here for me (Matthew 11:28-30). Here with me. I don’t have to feel angry or sad or mad or bad by myself. I get to come right before You exactly as I am and ask You to hold this garbage with me. And even in saying that Lord, I realize I don’t want to hold garbage. No Sir. THAT I will let go of! You are definitely helping me decide what to keep and learn what to let go. Thank You Lord. Thank You!

Thank You too that I get to come before You to say whatever needs to be said. I don’t have to take it to other people. No. I get to bring it all to You. You know what’s going on inside me. There are doubts and struggles and fears, oh my! And YOU are bigger than them all. I CAN cry if I want to! I can also choose life over death (Deuteronomy 30:19). YOU are powerful! YOU are good. YOU are holy. And YOU are able! Thank You Lord. You are able to do for me all that I am not able to do for myself (2Corinthians 9:8).

Lord, I am here asking You to do exactly that. I have shortcomings and defects of character that no longer serve me well. I am powerless to remove them on my own. I am here ‘humbly asking You to remove these shortcomings’.

I have stopped ‘using’ food and other behaviors to stuff down hurts from the past (and the present). I feel extremely vulnerable and unprotected. There is a lot of pain involved in feeling things I wouldn’t necessarily allow myself to feel before. A great deal of judgment involved.

I love You Lord and I thank You for allowing me to feel my feelings without the pressure of having to try and fix them.

Lord, I am going to continue looking to You. Trusting You. And asking You to do in and through me that which I cannot possibly do for myself. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(469 words ~ 3:54 p.m.)