be responsible

Saturday, January 15, 2011 (7:18 a.m.)

Sweetest, Blessed Lord,

Thank You! I have a sore throat. Thank You. I didn’t sleep well all night. Thank You. Thank You that in the midst of all the tossing and the turning a song very distinctly spoke to my heart and I held on for the rest of the night knowing that You are in charge.

Thank You Lord for the multitude of ways that You remind me that You are here in my life looking out for me. There was a dream that let me know that I was sleeping AND that I am in Your good hands. There was the remembrance of my not wanting to be responsible for anything that is not what You would have me being concerned with.

And then there were the comforting melody and lyrics that I tried several times to push aside as being just plain silly. That is until I wondered if You could possibly mean them specifically for me and I just settled in and relaxed.

There I was. Tired of being tired and right here came the lulling phrase ♫Ooh-oo child, things are gonna get easier Ooh-oo child, things’ll be brighter…♫

Lord, thank You for having every aspect of my being in Your care. Whether it’s a physical thing (like a potential ’nother cold) or emotional (my not having clear boundaries as to what really is my business and that which is not) YOU are here reminding me of Your presence. ♫Some day, yeah WE’LL put it together and we’ll get it all done Some day when your head is much lighter…♫ Lord thank You for teaching me to trust and rest in You!

With that said, Lord I confess to the mounds of responsibility I have taken on over the years. Responsibilities that were not mine, but others', to have. Forgive me Lord. I was caught in a cycle of ‘good doing’. My intentions were definitely in the right place, but my inability to be the author and perfecter of my own destiny reigned supreme!

And with all this said Dearest Lord, here I am reading in Numbers of Your chosen people wandering in the wilderness. They had You right there with them, guiding their every step and still they were afraid. The Israelites had the option of following You into the Promised Land (Numbers 13-14) but they chose fear over faith and trust in You. How often do I resemble them Lord?

I trust the opinions of the majority, often believing there to be safety in numbers. Teach me to trust and follow You dearest Lord. Help me to ‘recognize Your voice and follow You’ (John 10:27). Show me clearly the things for which You would have me be responsible. I love You so very much. Thank You for singing me to peace and rest in the much earlier morning hours. Could THIS be the ♫Some day, yeah [when] We’ll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun Some day When the world is much brighter♫? Mm. What a joyous, peaceful thought! Guide and direct me in the responsibilities You have laid out for me Lord. Make me learn to be responsible as YOU would have me be. Thank You God. I love You. Amen.

(545 words ~ 9:24 a.m.)