another day

Wednesday, November 27, 2013 (6:50 a.m.)

Holy Father God,

Thank You. Thank You for safety in driving. Thank You for restful sleep. Thank You for practice in giving You thanks.

Thank You that as I looked up THANKSGIVING in The Hymnal for Worship & Celebration I came across ♫Another Year Is Dawning♫

(12:04 p.m.)

And then the phone rang with sad news.

Father, I don't handle other people's sadness well. Often I become equally sad. I'm not sure that this is the case here, but I DO know I've been avoiding You ever since the call came.

I went to exercise. Came back. Sat down. Got up. Ate something. Snacked. Randomly ate more. Played a couple of crosswords online. ANY thing to keep from being honest with You!

Father God, I wanted to celebrate You and the truth that not only is another year preparing to dawn, but every single day is a new day with You. I had lined through 'year' quite some time ago and inserted 'day' to go with this thought. But now? No.

I want to whine. To say things like, “It's not fair.” “I hate to see people suffer.” “I'm tired.” “I don't want to keep trying.” Wah, wah, wah.

Forgive me Father. I want to be thankful. And in truth, I AM thankful! None of this life is what I expected. And so much of it is so much better than I could ever have imagined. Forgive me this momentary sadness. Forgive my recklessness in trying to avoid You.

Take me instead into Your heart of hearts. Let me lean into Your all encompassing embrace. Maybe tomorrow will be the one where I can ask You to “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12).

Today is the one where my cousin is sad. Sadder than she's been in a really long time. Sad to the point of despair and all I can do is pray. And it never seems like enough. How can I even say something like this to You?

That praying doesn't seem like enough? I pray for healing. And strength. And courage. And hope. And change. And … it all seems to go unnoticed. Unanswered. And I know that isn't true. I know You have blessings untold. Blessings that abound. Blessings to provide.

And yet I keep fighting within myself. I start to rise above the stuff. And then I fall back into it. There are things I know I can do and I keep refusing. There's a part of me that wants to say “NYET!” NO! I don't want to to do this. I don't want to think this. I don't want to be this. No! Nyet! Nein!

But then there's the part that knows Your Way is the best way. We may not like it. It may not be easy. But Your Way really, truly IS the best way. So here I am Father. Grumpy. Angry.

(1:27 p.m.)

Okay. So another couple of phone calls to break the mood AND to remind me of just what a good and gracious God You really are.

Thank You Father. Thank You for speaking Your Truth to me through another loved one. Thank You for reminding me to get up off my bottom and to move my muscles. Thank You for some time spent outside in the warmth of the sunlight and the beauty of the crystal clear blue sky.

Thank You for chores to do. Dishes to wash. Sheets to change. Laundry to sort. Thank You for helping me become just a little more thankful.

Thank You again for the original song I started singing to You this morning. ♫Another Year Day Is Dawning: Dear Father, let it be, In working or in waiting, Another year day with Thee; Another day of progress, Another day of praise, Another day of proving Thy presence all the days.♫

♫Another day of mercies, Of faithfulness and grace; Another day of gladness In the shining of Thy face; Another day of leaning Upon Thy loving breast; Another day of trusting Of quiet, happy rest.♫

Father, thank You. Thank You that now I do get to come before You willingly. You allowed me to be honest with my concerns and now I get to be equally open with the rest of the song. ♫Another day of service, Of witness for Thy love; Another day of training For holier work above. Another day is dawning: Dear Father, let it be, On earth or else in heaven, Another day for Thee.♫

Blessed Father, I thank You and thank You and thank You again for the opportunity of coming before You exactly as I am. ♫Just as I am, without one plea But that Thy blood was shed for me And that Thou bidd'st me come to Thee, O Lamb of God, I come! I come!♫

As this particular day draws closer to dusk than dawn still I ask You to speak the Truth of Psalm 90:12 into my heart. My soul. My mind. Even my strength (Mark 12:30). Let me love You with all I have as You “Teach us to number our days and recognize how few they are; help us to spend them as we should.” Glorifying and enjoying YOU!

Thank You for the necessary reminders of just how much You love us. Thank You Father for Your love. Your sacrifice and all that comes along with it. Let me use what You have for me well the rest of this day and again tomorrow as I begin another day. Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(1:58 p.m.)