once again

Monday, December 21, 2009 (4:24 a.m.)

Lord,

You are good! (And even in first tapping that, it came out ‘god’) Yes Lord! You ARE God! Thank You for reminding me ~ again!

As You know (because You ARE God) about twelve hours ago my feelings got hurt, once again. And very much NOT in accordance to the Spirit of love and preparation that is to accompany this particular season of celebration, I withdrew. I pouted. I plotted. And then I sulked and moped and said relatively bad words.

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34) Lord, You said these words, while hanging on a cross, of the very people who put You there. And here I was last night once again whining because, oh, my feelings got hurt!

Forgive me Father for I truly forget what I am doing!

Sure. Right there in the midst of it, I threw out an ‘air prayer’ directed at the ceiling and went right on in my own strength and power attempting to ‘make nice’. NOT! The nicer I tried to be, the bitterer I became inside when all was not resolved before the snoring began.

And yes Lord. I DID hear You calling me to just come away with You. Did I take the time to cry out (as I did so tearfully just hours before in church) ♫Word of God speak Would You pour down like rain Washing my eyes to see Your majesty To be still and know That You’re in this place Please let me stay and rest In Your holiness Word of God speak♫

No, Lord, I crawled into silence and once again watched hours upon hours of other people behaving badly on television. Father, forgive me for choosing the road that leads to death (anger, unforgiveness, bitterness) rather than LIFE (You, Your Word, Your will, Your way…)

I love You so much Dear Lord. Thank You for starting this whole time together by once again singing out to my heart ♫Beloved, let us love another, For love is of God, And everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God, For God is love. Beloved, let us love one another, First John four: seven and eight♫

Oh, most dear and blessed Lord, how I ask once again that You would work in me, preparing me to love You and others as You desire (Mark 12:30). I love You Lord.

‘Father, forgive her (me!)…’ Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(427 words ~ 5:44 a.m.)