worth a thousand hallelujahs

Monday, April 18, 2016 (6:27 a.m.)

Most Holy and Blessed God,

Thank You! Yes. Holy God, thank You!

Thank You that I get to grump and shut myself off and think all kinds of fearful, hurtful thoughts and You still love me. Thank You that You alone are great and greatly to be praised (Psalm 96:4 KJV).

Oh, yes Blessed God, thank You. Thank You that I get to come before You exactly as I am and You accept me. Help me. Teach. Guide. Change me.

I look to You most Holy God. A Theology in Brief in Illustrated Bible Handbook titled Faith and Feelings tells us “Human frailty guarantees we will each be subject to the whole range of pleasant and unpleasant emotions.”

It goes on to explain how “the psalms provide a unique perspective on our emotions.” Here is where I usually close myself off and attempt avoiding You, while what I really want is to bring You a new song that blesses Your holy name (96:1-2).

Thank You Holy Father that this study of Your nature teaches “While feelings have subjective reality, they are not the ultimate reality! Our feelings can and do change. Through relationship with God we can move from fear to trust, from alienation to comfort, from envy and jealousy to joy.”

Thank You that as I continue reading here I am again reminded, “God, who fully loves and accepts us, also accepts our feelings. We are free to share them with Him in prayer and express them without hesitation or fear.”

This is exactly where I am right now Oh God. Hesitating and fearful. I have loved ones who are hurting. Physically. Emotionally. And I keep calling on You to help them. Only to see more pain. That's when my tears return and I begin avoiding You. Again.

Such a cycle! I hate watching what I perceive as the struggle of others. I'm telling You very straight out, that's why I keep doubting the effectiveness of my prayers on their behalf. The pain and struggles continue no matter how much we pray.

Thank You that my heart starts to thaw as I continue reading, “we are never to judge the strength or validity of our faith by our feelings. Instead we are to let God shape our feelings as we relate to Him.”

Okay. Please. Shape my feelings Blessed God. Get me out of You way. “We cannot completely change our own feelings simply by willing them to be different.” How hard have I been trying to do that!

“But as we focus on who God is, and the meaning of our relationship with Him, God will graciously work in our emotional life as well as in our understanding, and shape us to His image.” Yes, please!

That is exactly why I am again here saying to You that I need You Father. I need You to teach me how to trust and follow You.

The Message tells us to “Shout the news of His victory from sea to sea. Take the news of His glory to the lost, News of His wonders to one and all! For God is great and worth a thousand Hallelujahs” (Psalm 96:2-4a). I want to Father. I truly do want to. And then I take my focus off of You. All You are and all You do. And I again look at the problems and the pain.

The Life Recovery Bible footnote for 96:1-9 tells us, “The way we live demonstrates what we believe about God.” Staying in our prison of sin shows “that we are either unaware of God's power to save us or indifferent about Him and the help He offers.”

I do NOT want to be indifferent about You and all You offer. You are absolutely worth a thousand hallelujahs. Do the work in me that You must to make it me ready, willing and able to again sing Your praises!

“The world is filled with 'remedies' for our problems. Many of them are helpful, but none can offer us the power we need for real change. Only God is mighty enough to offer that kind of help” (TLRB comment). Power for real change. Yes, please. Do all You must.

I love You. I long to serve You. I confess to you the fear and sadness I am experiencing and ask (Matthew 7:7) You to “give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair” (Isaiah 61:3a).

You alone are great and greatly to be praised. You truly are worth a thousand hallelujahs. Let my focus return to You. I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(771 words ~ 8:29 a.m.)