Your best

Monday, June 16, 2014 (6:48 a.m.)

Holy Father,

Once again I ask You, forgive me please. I've been absent. Intentionally. I have a problem. I keep comparing. Harshly. Negatively. I absolutely do not feel worthy of Your kindnesses. Your mercies. Your blessings.

Yet, I continue in a hard-nosed stance. “Dukes” practically up at all times. Ready. Prepared. To fight at every possible windmill that comes my way.

This is not Your best for me. Hm. Your best. Yes. Please. Let's talk together about Your best. I've succeeded in making a pretty good mess about myself.

I've been feeling disappointed. Disillusioned. Disheartened. Down. And instead of bringing any of it to You, I've tried pretending it away. If I don't think about it, it won't really be as bad as I have built it up in my mind anyway.

Well, here I am pleading “June gloom”! Only it's not the weather. It's me. My attitude. My own disposition. All truth be told, I've not been satisfied. With myself. My circumstances. Oh, and here's the clear hard truth. Wait for it. Clear my throat. You.

How can I even say that? How can a person be so completely blessed and not be satisfied with all You have provided?

Because I have been horribly wasteful. I choose fear over faith more often than not and it saps my energies. I give up far more than I persevere. I continue attempting things in my own strength and power instead of leaning into and depending on [spelled here TRUSTING!] You for my every need.

You, Dearest Father, know my every flaw and foible (Psalm 139:1). And still You love me. Thank You.

Thank You for bringing me back to reading Your Word. Thank You for reminding me that I am created in Your image (Genesis 1:27). You delight in me (Psalm 149:4). For the life of me, today I can't see why. But I choose to believe You!

I choose to stand on Your Word. Your promises. I realize I am to trust You, NOT circumstances! I want to look to You instead of myself. Your best is so far greater than anything I could ever begin to imagine. How I ask You to guide my every shaky step toward Your path of holy righteousness.

I love You Father. I apologize for the blaming doubt with which I have been avoiding You. Thank You for ever welcoming us back when we answer Your call to repentance (Zephaniah 2:1-3).

I confess to You Blessed Father, I do not believe myself worthy of Your blessings. I ask You to work Your will in me that I would ultimately rise to the challenge of day to day life here. I no longer want to live a life of complacency. You have given me far too much for me to behave so lackadaisically.

I love You. I want that to be evident in every single thing I am, share, think and do this day. That can only happen by You working Your best in and with, by and for me. I invite You in (Revelation 3:20) to do exactly that.

Thank You for loving and guiding me. Do all You must that I will become all You want. I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(545 words ~ 8:23 a.m.)