willingness

Wednesday, June 18, 2014 (6:44 a.m.)

Blessed, Holy God,

Thank You! You're working in me. Sweetening my stinky spirit. Softening my stiffened heart. Helping me sing songs to You I've not been willing to sing. You are doing for me all I have not been able to do for myself. Thank You Father. Bless You. Praise You!

Thank You that Your Word never changes. My attitude does. And with it, my willingness. Thank You that Your love for me (1John 4:19) has absolutely nothing to do with my ability to love You as I want, yet am far too often unable.

You are so very good. So kind. I don't intend to take Your loving nature for granted but I know I do exactly that. Thank You for everything You do in bringing us around to Your way, no matter how far away we stray.

For the first time in oh so very long, I woke up singing this morning. Very gently. Almost unnoticeably. So quietly I practically missed them. Two separate songs. Both sung in church this past Sunday. The first was left over from having been dismissed by me yesterday. ♫Our God♫

I had only three words of the second song. Three words that were evidently all that I needed. “Shine Your light”. Oh yes Father. Thank You! You DID ♫Shine Your light and let the whole world see, we're singing for the glory of the risen King. Saviour, He can move the mountains My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save♫

Those initial three words buoyed me to consider all I have been unwilling to do on my own around here. And to start. A sink was scrubbed. Dishes done. A few things put away. How? You reminded me of the importance of me be willing. I must be honest. Open. Willing.

I confess to refusing to open myself up to You. Why? Fear! It reared its ugly head again. I started looking at all the things that are wrong instead of what it is right. I wanted to protect myself from disappointment.

It NEVER works! Try as I may, I am not able. YOU are!!!

Thank You for bringing me back to Your Word. One section in The Message speaks volumes to my opening heart right now.

Galatians 5:22-23, “But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard – things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.”

None of these 'fruit of the Spirit' can I attain on my own. “But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, He will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (NLT).

Stiffening my back and my heart will not allow the Spirit to produce good fruit in me. Closing myself off in fear and an attempt of self-preservation only yields more pain and loneliness.

Father, how grateful I am that even as I was going to consider more of this section (Freedom to Live Love Illustrated Bible Handbook) “Mighty to Save” started singing in me again.

♫So take me as You find me All my fears and failures, fill my life again. I give my life to follow Everything I believe in, and now I surrender... Saviour, He can move the mountains My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save♫

Yes. You are! Save me to Your good and Your glory this day. Do in and through me all those things I want, but as yet am unable to do and say and think and be on my own. You alone art worthy! You alone are able. I can't. You can. I will let You! Today. Right now. I am willing to let You be God of and in my life!

Thank You Father. Praise You. Bless You. Continue Your blessed work in turning me into the woman You alone created me to be. I love You and I long to serve You well! Thank You. I love You. Amen.   

(733 words ~ 8:13 a.m.)