undecided

Monday, August 23, 2010 (1:22 p.m.)

Harrah’s Laughlin – Room 20386

Awesome God of Glory,

Thank You! Beautiful room. Incredible view. Wonderful husband. Who could ask for anything more?

That might sound just a little self-indulgent. And even with that thought, You have a verse!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010 (6:58 a.m.)

Wow, Lord! This is a surprise! Last night when the computer froze and I still hadn’t saved what I started to You so much earlier in the day, I thought of it as lost.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010 (7:27 a.m.)

And this morning Lord, I think of myself as a little lost. I keep trying to stay here with You to finish what I started two days ago but my mind keeps wandering. It seemed so much easier to check a few emails, look at some blogs, read about healthier choices that could be made.

Forgive me Lord. I’m not sure that I’m actually avoiding You, but I do know that I’m very easily distracted.

It started on Monday when I was looking at Proverbs 18:1 and wondering if You were wanting to talk to me about my being self-indulgent. I really don’t remember the verses I was looking into yesterday. And this morning I don’t know what You’d have me look at.

Your Word is filled with truth about Your love, grace, forgiveness… I ask You Lord to not only speak to me about what it is You would have me know, but give me understanding (Proverbs 3:4-6). Yes Lord, Your understanding about the things I do not know.

I have been avoiding You. I could kind of tell but I wasn’t ready to admit it full on. I have the tendency to jump to the conclusion that just because I think of something in a certain way, that makes it true. I absolutely know that this is not the case in most circumstances, but it doesn’t change my initial belief.

So Lord, I’m here asking You to guide me in Your Way, Your Truth, Your Life (John 14:6). Ah, and here it is Lord! The crux of the matter is that I don’t want You just to guide me Lord. I want You to direct those around me as well. And why is that? Because it will make my life easier, which takes me all the way back to feeling self-indulged.

Lord, I am so confused. There was a phrase used by a loved one the other night. An expression at which I immediately bristled. I’ve tried letting it go. I no longer want to be involved in situations that are not mine with which to deal. And herein lies my avoidance of You. Rather than come directly before You confessing that I am undecided with what to do, I have taken the long way around. I have attempted to skirt the issue by ignoring You. NOT a good idea!

Forgive me Lord. The other day I thought I knew for sure just what to do. But I hesitated. The more I have avoided You, the greater my indecision has become. Lord, I confess to having difficulty seeing that very fine line between things that are my business and those that are not. I need Your help Lord. Your guidance. Your Truth. Your Way. Your Life.

Again You just crack me up! As I’m turning in Peter’s second letter (to all believer’s everywhere) I read that his purpose for writing it was “to help his readers keep their focus on God’s grace and truth”. Oh, and here, reading further in “The Bottom Line” of The Life Recovery Bible the key verse is “For as you know Him better, He will give you, through His great power, everything you need for living a truly good life: He even shares His own glory and His goodness with us!” (1:3)

Blessed Lord, thank You for continuing to draw me back to Your loving arms. Thank You that immediately following his greeting “To: All of you who have our kind of faith” (v.1) he launched right in with “Do you want more and more of God’s kindness and peace? Then learn to know Him better and better.” (2) That is impossible by avoiding my time with You.

Thank You Lord for repeatedly calling me back to You. Thank You that just as I was again ready to close this blessed book, I looked back to the last paragraph. “Why do the pains, disappointments, and sins of life bring us down? Why do we hurt those we love the most? Perhaps we will never learn the answer to those questions. But 2 Peter does tell us how to change: get to know God. The God of the universe has made Himself available to us on a personal level. As we get to know Him, He will help us overcome our shortcomings and replace them with self-control, kindness, love, forgiveness, perseverance, patience, and peace.” (5-8)

Thank You Lord that even as I titled this prayer to You this morning, one song has kept me from being the least bit undecided. As I continue tapping away to You, it repeatedly reminds me that ♫I have decided to follow Jesus…♫ Thank You Lord for such an awesome decision as that!

I love You so much. Amen.

(880 words ~ 8:36 a.m.)