reluctance

Monday, March 25, 2013 (10:17 a.m.)

Blessed Father God,

I am confessing reluctance! It was going to be 'grumpy', but really it is more: unwilling, disinclined, unenthusiastic, resistant, hesitating, wavering, vacillating, doubts, second thoughts, misgivings... Thank You Father for giving me words with which to describe my feelings. Now I'm asking You to give me YOUR Word on the subject!

You have blessed me B-I-G and You deserve my praise and worship, NOT my growls and grumblings. There is SO much that needs to be taken care of around here that I have no idea where to even begin.

Thank You that just that fast You can have me singing a song from The Sound of Music. ♫Let's start at the very beginning, A very good place to start♫ Yes. Let's take “first things first”. Will You please order this day for me?

I'm taking 2Corinthians 9:6-9 into account right here. I'm asking You to turn me into a 'cheerful giver' of my strengths and energies this day. Make my heart willing to help. Change my attitude into one of sincerest camaraderie. We are officially home again. Help me transition eagerly.

Oh look! Another song. ♫Change my heart O God, Make it ever true. Change my heart O God, May I be like You. You are the Potter, I am the clay, Mold me and make me, This is what I pray♫ YOU can do this in me! YOU can “Create in me a new, clean heart, O God, filled with clean thoughts and right desires” (Psalm 51:10). I trust You. I seek You. I ask You. Make Your Way in me this day.

I confess reluctance; asking and seeking change. Thank You Father. You are good. Holy. Generous. And I truly am grateful. Use me well I pray. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(304 words ~ 10:58 a.m.)

SOUTH!

Friday, March 22, 2013 (7:03 a.m.)

Los Angeles, CA

Island Princess (Day 14)

Glorious Father God,

I'm not at all sure when, where, why or even how it happened. One minute we were heading north towards home and the next, everything has gone south. What's this all about? Tense, short, hurt feelings.

The one thing that hasn't changed is You. You are the same today as You were yesterday and will be tomorrow (Hebrews 13:8). Thank You for that.

Thank You that although sleep just would not come for me last night, I feel rested and somewhat refreshed. Thank You for the opportunity to review my math skills, think about and pray for friends, acquaintances and loved ones.

Thank You for the chance to see all kinds of interesting activities going on right outside our stateroom. Tugboats, a guide boat, a fuel barge all working together for the completion of this cruise and the beginning of the next. Each one doing their job. Taking care of business.

Thank You Father. Remind us to do the same. Work in and though us to complete that which You have for us this day. With love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. And self-control. The fruit of YOUR Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) which we can't conjure up on our own.

We love You and truly long to serve You well. Thank You for bearing with us as we practice being Your obedient children. Bless us Father in the direction You would have us go this day. Thank You. We love You. Amen.

(261 words ~ 7:34 a.m.)

vocare

Thursday, March 21, 2013 (6:26 a.m.)

Cruising toward Los Angeles

Island Princess (Day 13)

Awesome God,

Thank You. I get to depend on You. I have freaky, crazy dreams and my solace is in You. There were elements of sense to them and then compete and utter nonsense. Emotions were evoked and thoughts provoked. And instead of attempting any rationalization of them, I look to You. Your sunrise. Your mercies which fall fresh everyday.

Speaking of sunrises, this one was spectacular! Clouds added to the intensity of it's beauty without obstructing the view as Your ♫morning was breaking like the first morning♫ Thank You Father that as I sat watching and humming there was praise for You in my heart and my soul.

I confess to You, my thoughts and feelings are ebbing and flowing right now. I begin to settle in with some calm, even thinking and the very next thing I know I'm up trying to pack effectively and efficiently. There's way more to today than the mere ending of a trip. There's praising and worshiping of You that needs to far overshadow all the 'last' things I want to do today.

Guide me into Your Word that I will find what You have for me. Thank You Father. You have something especially to help me. Whether it is to just allow me to struggle and ultimately grow through these uncomfortable feelings or to rid them from me, I am trusting You to guide me through them.

In reading Jeremiah 33 (A Wonderful Promise) I get to be reminded that it's okay to bring our emotions to You. You sent another message to Jeremiah while he was still in jail for telling people what they didn't what to hear. “The Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth – Jehovah is His name – says this: Ask me and I will tell you some remarkable secrets about what is going to happen here” (v. 3).

What does this tell me? That You know! YOU are in control. I can let go and let You be the God of all. All of my hopes, plans, emotions... Verse 11 says, “The people will sing: 'Praise the Lord! For He is good and His mercy endures forever!'”

You ARE good! Help me sing of Your mercies this day Dearest Lord. I don't want to be all weepy and sad. On my own I can do nothing but. Be in and with me this day as we tie up the final day of our trip and head back to our 'real' life. I love You so much and I ask that the way I live this day will reflect that love and trust I have in You.

Let me take the uncountable blessings You've provided us these past several weeks and use them for Your good and for Your glory. Help me sing Your praises for the morning and Your loving plan for each of us.

Thank You for loving us. Thank You for caring and providing for us. Use us as You wish. We love You and we thank You. Amen.

(520 words ~ 8:16 a.m.)

desire

Wednesday, March 20, 2013 (6:25 a.m.)

Cabo San Lucas, MX

Island Princess (Day 12)

Amazing God of Glory,

AMAZING God of glory! I have been singing praise to You these past moments as early morning was breaking into dawn. What a gift You have given me. The desire to sit here and be with You. The want. The wish. The impulse. Yearning. Longing. Craving. Hankering. Hunger. Eagerness. Enthusiasm.

And here come the tears. Good tears. Excited tears. But tears nonetheless. And with them a (school, flock, bale) LOT of dolphins jumping out of the water right next to where I'm sitting. Wow! Agog. Eager to tell. Amazed. Appreciative. Rejoicing. And singing again.

♫To God be the glory! Great things He hath done; So loved He the world that He gave us His Son...♫

Blessed Father, thank You. Much time has passed in me attempting to find the rest of the words so I can continue singing rather than humming Your praise. And BAM! Here they are. Thank You.

♫Who yielded His life an atonement for sin, and opened the life-gate that all may go in. Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! Let the earth hear His voice. Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! Let the people rejoice. O come to the Father through Jesus the Son, and give Him the glory; great things He hath done!♫

But wait! There's more... ♫Great things He hath taught us, great things He hath done, and great our rejoicing in Jesus the Son; But purer and higher and greater will be Our wonder, our transport when Jesus we see!♫

So true. So very incredibly true. Thank You Father. Thank You for loving us. And wanting us... Here again, more tears. The very thought of being so perfectly cared for by You reduces me to a puddle once more.

Oh most dear and holy God, how I thank You for calling to me this morning. Thank You for the desire that led me to again read of Your 'unending love for Your sinful people and Your desire to restore their relationship with You' (Hosea – The Life Recovery Bible The Bottom Line).

Chapter six, verse six spells it out so clearly. “I don't want your sacrifices – I want your love; I don't want your offerings – I want you to know me.” The comment at the bottom of the page gives more detail to the verse's simplicity. “The way we treat people gives us a good idea of how committed we are to God. Our religious activities can be acted out without any true feeling.”

Jesus used these words and Truth in talking to the Pharisees concerning their legalism (Matthew 12:7). You gave Your laws for our spiritual freedom and balance. We tend to take them to the extreme of restrictive and enslaving purposes.

Father, as I read the comment at the bottom of the page I see it so closely parallels the praise I was singing with the sunrise. “God wants to be merciful to us, offering recovery and hope instead of condemnation. If God had wanted to crush us with legalism, He never would have sent Jesus to die for us. He would have let us die in our sins.”

♫To God be the glory! Great things He hath done; So loved He the world that He gave us His Son, Who yielded His life an atonement for sin, and opened the life-gate that all may go in. Praise the Lord... Let the earth His voice. Praise the Lord... Let the people rejoice.♫

It is my true desire this morning Father that I not only praise You this day, but that I hear You and rejoice in all You provide. Thank You for Your love. Thank You for Your Son. Thank You for Your blessings and Your attention to every detail of our lives. I love You so much Father. Keep working in me to make sure I do it to Your liking. Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(671 words ~ 8:01 a.m.)

continue

Tuesday, March 19, 2013 (7:10 a.m.)

Heading north-westerly toward Cabo San Lucas, MX

Third Continuous Day at Sea

Island Princess (Day 11)

Lazy, relaxed, rested, content...

These are words that so accurately describe me at this very moment. Why? Because of You Blessed Father. You continue Your work in me. You keep removing those character defects that continue popping up in me.

Continue. A pastor's message to his church in the Los Angeles area and a group of visiting Walter Hoving Home ladies urged all in attendance to “Continue” when things weren't what we wanted them to be.

“Continue: carry on traveling in the same direction [seems so appropriate for our current location and circumstance (smile)], persist in an activity or process, carry on, proceed, go on, persevere, press on, remain, stay, pick up...” These very descriptive words bring to mind many thoughts and ideas. Guide me in Your Word today as You speak to me about what You most want me to know and put into practice this day.

Let me start off first by saying I love You. It's one of those things that I think really does go without saying, yet I feel inclined to say it anyway. And often. You are so very good to us and I never want to take Your blessings for granted.

I confess to You Blessed Father, I've been playing around again with feelings of bitterness and entitlement. Things don't go exactly 'my' way and I want someone to pay. To feel sorry enough for hurting my feelings. I'm no longer five. Yet far too often that's my immediate, go-to emotional reasoning.

What am I to do? Continue. Continue in Your Word and Your Way. Continue walking in Your glorious light. Continue asking You to remove my shortcomings. Father, I love You. I do ask You to remove those things in me that do not serve You well. Replace them with Your Truth. Your love. Your power, strength, wisdom... All the things I, in my own humanness, am lacking.

So here I am reading chapters 17 and 18 of 1Chronicles, aware of You reminding me to look to You and Your Word for guidance. If I am indeed going to continue following You, I need to know how to recognize Your leading.

David had a great idea in his desire to build a temple to house Your Ark of the Covenant. The problem was, it was his idea and not Yours. How often do I resemble his plans? I chart my own course. Set off in my own direction. Expecting You to bless me as I go.

Instead Father, I am asking You to change that in me. Teach me to seek You first (Matthew 7:31-33). Continue Your work in guiding me to the direction You would have go.

I give You this day Blessed Father. With all its potential and opportunities. Yesterday You gave me turtle sightings as a completely unexpected and vastly appreciated gift I hope to treasure forever. You are such a good and generous Father. How I ask You to continue teaching me to use the resources You provide to honor, glorify and enjoy You forever.

Continue Your work in me I pray. Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(542 words ~ 8:27 a.m.)

transition

Monday, March 18, 2013 (5:26 a.m.)

Heading north toward Cabo San Lucas, MX

Island Princess

Most Holy God,

Thank You. We are back in our original time zone. That means we are getting closer to the ending of this current trip. Father, You well know the funk that usually puts me in. I'm asking way in advance that we do it differently this time. What do You think? A smoother, healthier transition than in the past.

“Transition: the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another; passage, move, segue, shift, progession”. The list goes on. Guide me in and through this next rapidly approaching changeover.

Father, You have taught us a lot this trip. Things about engineering, different cultures, perspectives, ourselves. Thank You. Help us take home and apply the good habits we've been forging these past few weeks. You have so much more for us to learn. Make us willing and proficient learners.

And just like that You have me reading in the book of Malachi. Thank You Father. You provide so very much hope for us. Yesterday I was blessed by the words of the chaplain on this ship. He reminded us through the story of Caleb's and Joshua's experience in the Promised Land with the ten other spies (Numbers 13:23-14:4) that we can look at the giants [those things that keep us discouraged] and grasshoppers [how tiny we feel in regards to our giants] in our lives OR we can focus on the grapes [Your promises to us] and YOU. Father, thank You for such a detailed reminder.

As we have set sail toward home, remind this dear husband and myself of the many healthy choices we have made thus far during this present voyage. Lead, guide and direct us into taking these good decisions into our everyday life at home. Father God, we DO love and adore You so incredibly much. Thank You for being the major Topic of many of our conversations.

Right now I'm getting to read of Caleb's different spirit than the other spies. He believed You and Your promises. He knew that with Your help Your people could conquer all the obstacles and difficulties they would face. That's what ties so nicely into Your promise to Malachi. He preached a message of hope to a nation of backsliders – a people who had fallen back into their old habits.

Malachi confronted Your people about getting back on track after having relapsed into their past destructive behaviors. He spoke Your message of The Messiahs' Coming (Malachi 3:1-6). How blessed are we that we get to expereince this very hope today.

You promised to send a messenger (John the Baptist) to prepare the way for Jesus' coming. You described through these words the cleansing that was [IS] available to each of us by His mighty presence.

All this leads to the verse I ask You to burn into my very heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30) this day. Malachi 3:6, “For I am the Lord – I do not change. That is why you are not already utterly destroyed [for my mercy endures forever].”

Yes Father. You are our Lord. You do not change and we are not destroyed. Bless me and keep me in Your Truth as we transition back to our normal, everyday life. Use us to glorify and enjoy You forever. THAT is what we're here for. Thank You Father. We love You. We thank You. Amen.

(583 words ~ 8:40 a.m.)

transformed

Sunday, Saint Patrick's Day, March 17, 2013 (5:38 a.m.)

On balcony, with sunrise, heading north to Cabo San Lucas

Isalnd Princess

Most Blessed Father

Thank You. Thank You for sleep. Thank You for rest. Thank You for rejuvenation. Restoration. Renewal.

Mm, Father. You have allowed me this opportunity. I get to sit here high above the sea, watching the colors of the early morning sky, thinking that it doesn't get any better than this. Why? Because of You!

Waking from intensely detailed dreams featuring less than clean restrooms and a mechanical bull ride, I keep coming back to the western twang of ♫Don't fence me in♫ I don't know the other words, but the catchy tune keeps coming around.

With all that build up, I'm here. Looking to You with sheer gratitude. Asking that You would use me this day as an instrument of Your peace.

(6:18 a.m.)

So the word I keep coming across this morning is transformed. I read about it when I first turned to Romans 12:2. “Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be transformed to a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from your own experience how His ways will really satisfy you.”

Mm, again, comfort. Reading a devotion on Self-perception, Your Truth (which ultimately sets us free when we know it according to John 8:32) rings through. “We all have great potential for change, but we cannot do it under our own power. As we yield our life and will to God, we can depend on Him to renew our mind and heart. He will begin to remove our defects of character, transforming us from the inside out.”

And then, over in 2 Corinthians, I get to read more about the transformation that takes place in each of us as we trust You to change us. The Life Recovery Bible's introduction to this book states, “We cannot change ourself by changing our external behaviors. As we are reconciled to God, He tranforms us into an entirely new person; our old self is changed in a fundamental sense.”

Father, I am becoming more aware of the changes You are making in me. I realize Your work is just beginning and ♫it's a long way to Tipperary, we've a long way to go♫ (smile!!). Oh, but I am SO grateful!

I read here in 2 Corinthians, chapter 3 of the privilege of being transparent. Of NOT being like Moses whose veiled face “shone out with the very glory of God – though the brightness was already fading away (v.7b).

Because of Your love for and work in each of us we get to be a living letter (v.2). “By looking at the good change in your hearts, everyone can see that we have done a good work among you. They can see that you are a letter from Christ, written by us. It is not a letter written with pen and ink, but by the Spirit of the living God, not one carved on stone, but in human hearts” (3).

Oh, “Amen!” Thank You Father! Because of all Jesus did on our behalf, I get to be counted as one of those letters.

The Illustrated Bible Handbook says this regarding the law You gave Moses and the freedom You've given each of us in Christ. “When Moses returned from Mount Sinai with the tablets of stone, his face shone with a brilliant radiance. But the glory faded. Moses hid his face with a veil to mask the deterioration from his people.”

This explanation make the truth of 2Corinthians 3:18 even more powerful. “But we Christians have no veil over our faces; we can be mirrors that brightly reflect the glory of the Lord. And as the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like Him.”

Use me this day Dearest Lord to reflect You well. Continue Your hard work in transforming me into the woman You would have me be.

I love You. I thank You. And for right now, I am imagining You singing to me the song from much earlier. In regards to the various times I try to understand You and Your workings. I am NOT to put You in a box of my own understanding so it makes perfect sense for You to tell me ♫Don't fence me in♫

I love You Father. Thank You. Amen.

(744 words ~ 7:16 a.m.)