"Whoa!"

Tuesday, January 31, 2012 (6:12 a.m.)

“Whoa!” God,

First word out of my mouth this morning. Directly related to the beauty taking place outside my window.

What I find most interesting is that this time it had nothing to do with vibrancy of colors. This morning it was the intense silhouette of the clouds and the mountains that caused my gasp.

Thank You Father! Thank You for yet another surprise.

(7:18 a.m.)

Colors came to the sky. Even the husband came out to enjoy them. But still, there was something special, along the lines of intriguing about the contrast between lights and darks.

Jesus, I don’t know what You have for me to learn or to offer others this day. I confess physical pain to You. Asking that You would lead me to the relief You would have me find.

During the long night of wakefulness between bits of sleep, I thought of the hymn I heard long ago. In looking it up just now, I turned immediately to the Bible verse it references. Jeremiah 8:22. As well as the one immediately before. And from there, to the beginning and then to the end of this particular book.

Jesus, how I thank You for the history of this prophet. A man who was faithful to You. One who was also bitter, angry, discouraged, depressed and lonely. Because of his experience we are reminded that You accept our emotions as well. We are free to bring You all of our failures and strong feelings.

We are reminded that we are to be honest with You. You desire to heal our broken, hurting parts. Father I ask You to keep bringing me to You for healing. I’m at a loss. One person thinks this. Another says that. My hope is in You.

Jeremiah’s words in 8:21-22 remind me of my own thoughts. "I weep for the hurt of my people; I stand amazed, silent, dumb with grief. Is there no medicine in Gilead? Is there no physician there? Why doesn’t God do something? Why doesn’t He help?"

Which brings me right back to the hymn. ♫There is a balm in Gilead to make the wounded whole; There is a balm in Gilead to heal the sin sick soul. Sometimes I feel discouraged, And think my work’s in vain, But then the Holy Spirit Revives my soul again. If you cannot preach like Peter, If you cannot pray like Paul, You can tell the love of Jesus, And say, “He died for all.”♫

Every time I reach for the pain freeing cream, remind me Dearest Lord and Savior that YOU are the balm that soothes and heals!

Thank You. Thank You! And just as an endnote. Thank You for the “Whoa!” of the evening sky yesterday, which kept me driving on surface streets for ten miles so as not to miss a single aspect of its beauty. Again a sky much more silhouetted than colorful. Ah, but beautiful in its own right.

Thank You Father. Thank You Jesus. Thank You Comforting Holy Spirit. I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(517 words ~ 7:56 a.m.)

anticipating joy

Monday, January 30, 2012 (11:13 p.m.)

Most Glorious, Awesome God and Father,

I had some good sleep and I’m asking that You will provide me some more. Thank You for this opportunity just to come and say, “Thank You.”

Thank You for rest. Thank You for hope. Thank You for love. And anticipated joy. Mm. What a thought. Anticipating joy!

Isaiah (65:16-18) quotes You as saying, “Pay close attention now: I’m creating new heavens and a new earth. All the troubles, chaos, and pain are things of the past, to be forgotten. Look ahead with joy. Anticipate what I’m creating: I’ll create Jerusalem as sheer joy, create my people as pure delight.”

As I get ready to go back to sleep Blessed Father God, I ask that You would prepare my heart, soul, mind and strength for such a place as this. What a privilege! To anticipate such joy. Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(157 words ~ 11:36 p.m.)

chapters 9

Monday, January 30, 2012 (7:00 a.m.)

Most Loving Lord God,

Guide me where You want me this morning. I thought for sure it was going to be me confessing my careless approach to so many things, followed by my earnest desire to be so much more intentional. I started looking in the back of Your Word and there are topics on “accountability” and “inheritance”.

Now I look and find a 12-step devotional entitled Confession right here in front of me. Let me take this look at Nehemiah 9:1-3 and see what develops.

Turning back one page to begin the chapter, I once again read Facing the Sadness (Nehemiah 8:7-10) and I so very humbly ask You Dearest Father God to lead me in this prayer I offer You this morning. I confess to feeling lost. I don’t know which way to turn. Who do I trust?

I have questions. And doubts and fears. [Oh my! J] And a smile. A very gentle, tender smile as I remember one more time that I am to trust in YOU!

♫With all my heart And lean not on my own understanding In all my ways acknowledge You And You will direct my path♫ (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Beloved Father God, I find three pages in a row talking about Step 4 and the importance of making “a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

After the two devotions listed above comes “Family Influence”. Because I asked You to guide me this morning, I am going to look into following this lead as possibly being from You. I desperately don’t want to jump to conclusions and run ahead on my own, I am asking You Lord. Is this a direction You want me to pursue?

(12:40 p.m.)

Ah, Most Blessed and Awesome God, thank You for this opportunity to read further into Your Word. I get to be encouraged and uplifted by reminders of all You’ve done for Your people through the ages.

I have others to remind me, “When we set out to face the pain and sadness of making a moral inventory, we will need the ‘joy of the Lord’ to give us strength. This joy comes from recognizing, even celebrating, God’s ability to bring us out of bondage and to care for us as we pass through the sadness toward a new way of life.” (Life Recovery theme related to Nehemiah 8:7-10)

On the very next page I read of the confession of the returned Jewish exiles. “In their confessions, the Israelites owned, bemoaned and then discarded their sin. After this they were better able to make a new start. We can ‘own’ the garbage in our own life by taking personal responsibility for our choices and actions. We can ‘bemoan’ it by allowing ourself to grieve. We can ‘discard’ it by leaving it behind and turning toward the future.” Yes Father God, I am asking that You would help me do exactly this!

The last of the three related devotionals, Family Influence (Nehemiah 9:34-38) ends by saying, "It’s all right to admit the truth about what brought us into bondage. This might very well involve the wrongs committed by our parents and family. It’s all right to express anger and regret over what’s been done to us. We have a right to hold others accountable and grieve over the negative effects they have had on our life. That is part of the real picture." Thank You Father!

The truth of this section continues, "It’s not all right to use this as an excuse for our wrong choices or for staying in bondage. They may be partly responsible for bringing us to this place, but we are responsible for moving on to a better place for ourself and our own children."

I’m ready Father God. Lead me on in this process of Facing the Sadness, Confession and looking realistically into the Family Influence from which I come. I long to grieve, heal and grow. I can only do this through You who gives me the power and the strength.

And just as if a bit of a post-script right here, I ‘mistakenly’ [I don’t think with You there are that many mistakes! J] read EZRA 9 about the deep mourning he did on the behalf of Your people. A comment for verse three at the bottom of the page reads, “The temptation is to procrastinate in dealing with tough issues in our life. But God wants us to tackle them head-on, remembering that He is there to give us strength and encouragement.”

Right across the page from here, completing the chapter, another comment rings true. “Often we hold on to some area of our life that prevents us from experiencing everything that God has for us.” I want to be done with that Most Blessed God and Father. I want desperately to let go of the things that are keeping me from having Your “life in all its fullness” (John 10:10B).

Work with me Father. Work in and through and for me I pray. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(841 words ~ 1:45 p.m.)

reconciliation

Sunday, January 29, 2012 (7:08 a.m.)

Loving, Beloved, Father God,

I don’t know how to be kind to myself. I can criticize. Find fault. Judge. Hold a grudge. Resent…. Would You talk to me this morning about being kind and nurturing? Not just with others, but with myself.

You allowed me another birthday Blessed Father. There has to be more here than meets my eye.

You are good Father, truly, wonderfully good. What would You have me do with Your goodness? Share it? Apply it? Reconcile myself to it? Yes. With tears in my eyes Father God, I am asking You to teach me what it is to truly be reconciled to You.

For far too long I have feigned patience and understanding with myself. I offer it out a whole lot more than I am willing to receive it. I know what the fruit of Your Spirit is listed as in Your Word (Galatians 5:22-23). Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. And self-control. Because it is a fruit, I realize it has to be grown. Nourished. Nurtured. Not manufactured. You have to do this in me. It’s not something I can do for myself.

This is what I am asking here this morning Most Blessed Father. I truly don’t know how to consistently follow Your path. I keep jumping off. Running ahead. Thinking I’m doing what You want, and then finding myself lost. Dazed and confused.

Father God, I am asking for a super short leash right now. One that will keep me close To You. On Your path. Hearing Your voice. Following Your lead. Teach me Father. Grow me. Lop off whatever You have to (John 15:2) to continue growing me into the woman You have already designed me to be.

I love You so incredibly much and I long to be all You have for me. Teach me a whole lot about reconciliation this day Dearest Father. I thank You. I love You. Amen.

(330 words ~ 8:05 a.m.)

♫Stronger♫

Sunday, January 29, 2012 (6:15 a.m.)

Beloved Jesus,

Thank You. I knew the song as soon as I saw it last night at church. I recognized it again this morning. I didn’t find it right away, but with just a little bit of stick-to-itiveness here it is. Thank You Jesus. Yes. Thank You for all You have for me to learn this day.

♫There is love that came for us Humbled to a sinner’s cross You broke my shame and sinfulness You rose again victorious♫ These are such strong, rich words!

♫Faithfulness none can deny Through the storm and through the fire There is Truth that sets me free Jesus Christ who lives in me♫ Blessed, Beloved Jesus, thank You so very much for living here in me!

♫You are stronger, You are stronger Sin is broken, You have saved me It is written, Christ is risen Jesus You are Lord of all♫ Most dear and blessed Savior, I need this to be my theme song!

I have used the tendency to give up and quit my whole life. It comes very readily and natural for me. I have attempted to build strength on my own in this. But it’s YOU that holds the key here!

♫No beginning and no end You’re my hope and my defense You came to seek and save the lost You paid it all upon the cross♫ These are truths I choose to believe. Every single moment of every single day I have choices. Too often I choose whatever seems easiest at the time. Jesus, thank You that You continually come to my aid, to teach me.

♫You are stronger, You are stronger Sin is broken, You have saved me It is written, Christ is risen Jesus You are Lord of all♫ There is so much Truth here. Let me not only learn it Blessed Jesus, let me live it as well.

♫So let Your name be lifted higher Be lifted higher, be lifted higher So let Your name be lifted higher…♫ All because ♫You are stronger…♫ Yes Blessed Jesus, let me fully and truly live believing this, this day and always! Thank You for Who You Are and all You do. Thank You. Bless You. Praise You. Love You. Amen.

(378 words ~ 6:58 a.m.)

words that begin with "p"

Friday, January 27, 2012 (5:28 a.m.)

Powerfully, Praiseworthy “Papa” God,

You started this theme with me several hours ago. At first I was completely unaware of it. I woke up in pain. After falling back to sleep, I awoke with the word ‘purpose’. Although when I actually saw it in my mind’s eye, it read ‘perhaps’. After that was ‘picture’ or ‘photo’. I wasn’t sure which. When I started talking to You, ‘praise’ immediately came to mind.

So here I am ‘prepared’ to explore wherever You ‘plan’ to take me this morning. Right now I’m in the Topical Index at the back of my Bible. First word? “PARDON (see Forgiveness)”. That seems like a very good place to begin.

Ah, but no. “PERFECTIONISM”. Yes. That’s it. “The Paradox of Powerlessness”. 2 Corinthians 4:7-8, “But this precious treasure – this light and power that now shine within us – is held in a perishable container, that is, in our weak bodies. Everyone can see that the glorious power within must be from God and is not our own. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed because we don’t know why things happen as they do, but we don’t give up and quit.”

Sweetest Jesus I need You to speak to me here. I AM perplexed! Weak. Feeling pressed on ever side. I believe I am not supposed to feel crushed and broken, ready to give up and quit. It is ONLY Your power working in me that can get me through the rest of this day.

And see? I confess that and I find relief! I’m in tears with the hopefulness that comes from believing and trusting Your Word. Blessed Lord God, I do NOT know the plans You have for my body. But I choose to believe that ‘they are plans for good and not for evil. Plans to give me a future and a hope’ (Jeremiah 29:11).

I pray then I read more in Paul’s letter. I tearfully smile, as I begin to hope again. With all pretense gone from my thoughts right now, I confess that I am feeling scared and sad and tired of not knowing what to do. One minute I think I’m on the right track and the next I fear the pain and immobility will only continue to get worse.

One professional says one thing and another, something else. Father God, You know what You would have me do, where you would have me go for help. I don’t. The pain does not seem to be lessening. Healing doesn’t seem to be taking place. What would You have me do? Where would You have me go?

I do not believe You to be a punishing God. Yet I confess to wondering, am I being punished for something? Have my all too ready judgments of others landed me in this current world of pain?

Forgive me Most Loving Lord. Your Word gives me hope and power. Please Most Dear and Blessed One, may all the words that begin with “p” serve to bring You praise.

Ah, and here it is. The word I didn’t know I was looking for. “Promise”. The promise Paul provides in verse 16-18. “That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our inner strength in the Lord is growing every day. These troubles and sufferings of ours are, after all quite small and won’t last very long. Yet this short time of distress will result in God’s richest blessing upon us forever and ever! So we do not look at what we can see right now, the troubles all around us, but we look forward to the joys in heaven which we have not yet seen. The troubles will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever.”

Commentaries that follow present the promise thusly, “if we trust God to help us in this life of decay and death, we can be sure of His blessings in the future.” [Promise! J] And “Once we recognize the paradox of powerlessness it can be a relief. We don’t have to pretend to be perfect. We can live a real life, with daily struggles, in a human body beset with weakness and still find the power from above to keep going without being crushed and broken.”

Ah, freedom found in the form of Your powerful promises! Father God, how profoundly I ask You to ‘bless and protect me; radiate Your face with joy because of me, be gracious to me, show me Your favor and give me Your peace’ (Numbers 6:24-26).

It is absolutely in Your Son’s precious name I pray. I love You. I thank You. Amen.

(790 words ~ 8:05 a.m.)

♫Blessed Be Your Name♫

Thursday, January 26, 2012 (12:08 p.m.)

♫Blessed Be Your Name♫

Friday, January 27, 2012 (8:22 a.m.)

♫In the land that is plentiful Where Your streams of abundance flow Blessed be Your name♫

♫Blessed be Your name When I’m found in the desert place Though I walk through the wilderness Blessed Be Your name♫

♫Every blessing You pour out I’ll turn back to praise When the darkness closes in Lord Still I will say Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your name Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your glorious name♫

♫Blessed be Your name On the road marked with suffering Though there’s pain in the offering Blessed be Your name♫

♫You give and take away You give and take away My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name♫

Yes, Lord. I choose to say, “Blessed be Your name”! Thank You that You have made me thusly. There IS currently pain in the offering and again I say, “Blessed be Your name”.

Twelve hours ago I got to see the most beautiful “teacup moon” I’ve seen in five years. That particular night my brother and I got to hold each other as we cried, mourning the death of his son while marveling at the magnificent wonder of the evening. There again we witnessed ♫You give and take away♫ And still we chose to say, ♫Lord Blessed be Your name♫

Thank You Blessed Father for Your work in each of us. Growing us into the Followers of Yours that You would have us be. Followers who wake up singing ♫Blessed be Your name♫ Thank You for Your love for each of us that enables us to in turn love You, each other and ourselves. What a true blessing You are. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(303 words ~ 8:47 a.m.)