chapters 9

Monday, January 30, 2012 (7:00 a.m.)

Most Loving Lord God,

Guide me where You want me this morning. I thought for sure it was going to be me confessing my careless approach to so many things, followed by my earnest desire to be so much more intentional. I started looking in the back of Your Word and there are topics on “accountability” and “inheritance”.

Now I look and find a 12-step devotional entitled Confession right here in front of me. Let me take this look at Nehemiah 9:1-3 and see what develops.

Turning back one page to begin the chapter, I once again read Facing the Sadness (Nehemiah 8:7-10) and I so very humbly ask You Dearest Father God to lead me in this prayer I offer You this morning. I confess to feeling lost. I don’t know which way to turn. Who do I trust?

I have questions. And doubts and fears. [Oh my! J] And a smile. A very gentle, tender smile as I remember one more time that I am to trust in YOU!

♫With all my heart And lean not on my own understanding In all my ways acknowledge You And You will direct my path♫ (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Beloved Father God, I find three pages in a row talking about Step 4 and the importance of making “a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

After the two devotions listed above comes “Family Influence”. Because I asked You to guide me this morning, I am going to look into following this lead as possibly being from You. I desperately don’t want to jump to conclusions and run ahead on my own, I am asking You Lord. Is this a direction You want me to pursue?

(12:40 p.m.)

Ah, Most Blessed and Awesome God, thank You for this opportunity to read further into Your Word. I get to be encouraged and uplifted by reminders of all You’ve done for Your people through the ages.

I have others to remind me, “When we set out to face the pain and sadness of making a moral inventory, we will need the ‘joy of the Lord’ to give us strength. This joy comes from recognizing, even celebrating, God’s ability to bring us out of bondage and to care for us as we pass through the sadness toward a new way of life.” (Life Recovery theme related to Nehemiah 8:7-10)

On the very next page I read of the confession of the returned Jewish exiles. “In their confessions, the Israelites owned, bemoaned and then discarded their sin. After this they were better able to make a new start. We can ‘own’ the garbage in our own life by taking personal responsibility for our choices and actions. We can ‘bemoan’ it by allowing ourself to grieve. We can ‘discard’ it by leaving it behind and turning toward the future.” Yes Father God, I am asking that You would help me do exactly this!

The last of the three related devotionals, Family Influence (Nehemiah 9:34-38) ends by saying, "It’s all right to admit the truth about what brought us into bondage. This might very well involve the wrongs committed by our parents and family. It’s all right to express anger and regret over what’s been done to us. We have a right to hold others accountable and grieve over the negative effects they have had on our life. That is part of the real picture." Thank You Father!

The truth of this section continues, "It’s not all right to use this as an excuse for our wrong choices or for staying in bondage. They may be partly responsible for bringing us to this place, but we are responsible for moving on to a better place for ourself and our own children."

I’m ready Father God. Lead me on in this process of Facing the Sadness, Confession and looking realistically into the Family Influence from which I come. I long to grieve, heal and grow. I can only do this through You who gives me the power and the strength.

And just as if a bit of a post-script right here, I ‘mistakenly’ [I don’t think with You there are that many mistakes! J] read EZRA 9 about the deep mourning he did on the behalf of Your people. A comment for verse three at the bottom of the page reads, “The temptation is to procrastinate in dealing with tough issues in our life. But God wants us to tackle them head-on, remembering that He is there to give us strength and encouragement.”

Right across the page from here, completing the chapter, another comment rings true. “Often we hold on to some area of our life that prevents us from experiencing everything that God has for us.” I want to be done with that Most Blessed God and Father. I want desperately to let go of the things that are keeping me from having Your “life in all its fullness” (John 10:10B).

Work with me Father. Work in and through and for me I pray. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(841 words ~ 1:45 p.m.)