Love!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010 (7:45 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Thank You. You have such a perfect way of reminding me when I’m not behaving as You would have me behave. Take this morning for example. What is the word that honestly keeps jumping right off the pages of our Learning Bible? Love! Yes. Love!

Thank You Lord! Thank You that You continuously allow me to go down the paths that lead to bitterness and resentment. You post the warning signs all around. “Stop”. “Go back”. “Dead End”. But You allow me to go none-the-less. Thank You Lord. [After all, does exercise in futility still end up counting as exercise? J]

Lord, You are so good. So faithful. Thank You for bringing me straight to Your Word this morning. Funny, no, make that sad, that it would take a long held off return of shoulder pain to get enough of my attention to come eagerly to You and Your Word this morning.

I love You Lord. I do! Page after page tells me to love. It is described for me exactly what love is: kind, patient, rejoices in the truth, always supportive, loyal, hopeful, trusting. And what it is not: jealous, boastful, proud, rude, selfish, quick-tempered. “It doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do.” Oops! Nor does it rejoice in evil. “Love never fails!” (1Corinthians 13:4-8)

And as if these aren’t enough, I am guided over to Romans 5:1-11 to learn “What It Means To Be Acceptable to God”. I have NOT been gladly suffering, “because we know that suffering helps us to endure. And endurance builds character, which gives us a hope that will never disappoint us. All of this happens because God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fills our hearts with His love.” (vs. 3-5)

Here I’ve been waiting for others to notice my hurt feelings and work to make them better. That is not how You’d have it, is it Lord? You did NOT send Your Son to die on my behalf so I could mope around feeling sorry for myself because I feel unappreciated or taken for granted.

Continue Your work in and through me I pray Dearest Lord. Thank You for another glimpse of grace with You. It is ONLY through Your love for us that I can ever learn to love as You would have me love!

Thank You Lord. I do indeed love You so very much. Thank You. Amen.

(407 words ~ 8:43 a.m.)

strength and structure

Monday, August 30, 2010 (8:36 a.m.)

Good Morning Lord,

It’s taken quite awhile for me to turn to You this morning. And even now, I’m not as committed to being here as I want to be. I’m aware of the time and a 10:00 a.m. appointment we have. There’s a song goofing around in my head that I can’t completely get a hold of. And then there’s our plea to You for strength and structure around here.

Yes Lord. We confess to currently being unstructured. And we are in desperate need of Your intervention to not only put us on Your path of order, but to keep us there.

Thank You Lord. As I turned to 1 Corinthians 14:33, “For God is not a God of confusion, but of peace” I saw many aspects of this chapter with fresh eyes. Beginning with the first part of verse one, “Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts”. Yesterday Pastor Ed taught on Dr. Luke’s description of the man with the withered hand whom Jesus commanded to stretch it out (Luke 6:10). We were reminded that we have to stretch out our hands to not only receive Your gifts, but to share them as well.

Lord, we long to be cheerful givers around here (2Corinthians 9:7). Not only with our finances and material wealth, but with our time and talents as well. And what do we need to make that happen? Your strength and Your structure!

My dear husband prayed those very words to You yesterday morning and I am here today echoing them. Lord, we love You. We trust You and we long to serve You. Well. Provide us with Your strength and Your structure that we may indeed follow Your way of love. We love You so much. Thank You. Amen.

(304 words ~ 9:12 a.m.)

Psalm 119

Sunday, August 29, 2010 (7:32 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Talk to me this morning about ebbs and flows, highs and lows, working, resting, caring, not caring and most importantly caring (or not caring) enough.

Yes Lord. Get me out of Your way, out of my head and into Your Word. Deeply, profoundly, searchingly into Your Word. Oh most dear and blessed Lord, I keep thinking Your Word. On occasion, I ‘try’ Your Word. I’m getting to the point in my life Lord where I actually want to know and live Your Word.

Lord, there is so much for me to learn. I confess to wasting so very much of the resources You provide. Worry, fear, indecision continue to rob me of the joy that is to be found in living my life for and in and through You. Help me Lord. I know that deep within I long to care enough for the things that You would have me care about. How do I make that happen? In and through Your Word. Will You guide me Lord? Of course You will. The big question here is, will I follow You? I know I want to! I even try to. And then something comes along that throws me completely off balance. I lose my bearings. My focus changes from You to whatever and again I end up feeling lost and disoriented.

Thank You Lord, that You are always here. You never change. Your Word stands true. You are constant. My ever-faithful source of hope. Thank You Lord. Thank You that I get to come before You no matter what my thoughts or feelings. I get to pour out my heart to You and be refreshed, replenished with Your love, Your Truth, Your will, Your way.

Keep me coming to You Lord. Not just to listen and learn. But to obey. I am filled with past experiences of things that did not turn out the way I expected. Disappointments and discouragements cause me to doubt my own ability. The cool thing about that is the more I prove my own inability, the more dependent on You I become.

Thank You Lord for continuously calling me to You. Thank You for ever filling me with Your hope and Your joy. I can’t count on myself to pull me through, but every single time I turn to You and Your Word You are faithful to provide my every need.

Thank You Lord that You are all the things which I am not and You are so incredibly willing to share. I love You Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(431 words ~ 8:38 a.m.)

♫Love Will Keep Us Together♫

Saturday, August 28, 2010 (7:36 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

There’s some kind of folk song, possibly TV commercial, in my head. But You know what? It just got replaced with ♫Love Will Keep Us Together♫ and I have to admit to much preferring that!

Thank You Lord! I am confessing to behaving somewhat ‘brat-ish’ lately. Not necessarily stomping my foot brat-like, but DEFINITELY game playing aloofness. You know the whole “my feelings got hurt so I will make you pay” type of playing hard to get. Oh Lord. It even looks worse all spelled out than it did in my head!

But what is so incredibly cool with You is when I realize that it’s You and Your love that will absolutely keep me together!

Lord God, I confess to dabbling with bitterness and resentment yesterday. I honestly thought it was something I could play around with to make some kind of far reaching point. NOT! All it did was make me feel even more bitter and resentful.

This morning while I was attempting to track the folk song, I was also rehearsing my ‘rights’ to still cling to that which I bitterly resented. And then You ♫came along singing Your song♫ about me stopping ♫‘cause You really love me. Stop, You’ll be thinking of me♫ And I should ♫look in Your heart and let love keep us together Forever♫

Oh Your goodness Lord! The lightness that has taken over my heart just from again realizing that I can trust You with EVERY single aspect of my being. You are so incredibly good. And You love us so very much. Forgive my momentary lapse into bitter game playing. Thank You for repeatedly calling me to ♫Look in Your heart and let love keep us together♫

Thank You Lord. Thank You. Help me live this day in and through Your love. The only love that will truly keep us together. I love You so much Dearest Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(330 words ~ 8:40 a.m.)

God's presence

Friday, August 27, 2010 (7:02 a.m.)

Awesome God,

Thank You. Thank You for Your presence. Although I continue in my feeble attempt to avoid You, I know You are good and in Your presence is where I truly long to be.

Thank You Lord for continuing to draw me near to You. I have all these false starts toward worship. I start and then I fall back. My heart practically leaps out of my chest when I think of all You have provided. Yet I allow myself to become distracted. Lord, thank You that there truly is nothing I would rather do than be here with You. Help me stay focused on You and Your Word this day.

I realize that I do not deserve to be allowed into Your presence. It is only by Your forgiving grace and the blood of Your precious Son that allows me entry into Your holy of holies. Is this what keeps me away? Do my thoughts regarding my sinfulness get in the way of the praise and worship You so rightly deserve?

This is real Lord. Examining my thoughts and feelings rather than busying them away is huge. I feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to go [much less stay] here. But I will. I will look, with You, at the fact that I don’t see myself as godly. “But let the godly rejoice. Let them be glad in God’s presence. Let them be filled with joy.” (Psalm 68:3) I accept that You are challenging my belief system. That just because I think a certain way definitely doesn’t make it so.

Let me take it a step further, “Because of Christ and our faith in Him, we can now come fearlessly into God’s presence, assured of His glad welcome.” (Ephesians 3:12) It’s true. It’s written in Your Word and Your Word is Truth. Fearless is NOT the word I would use to describe my approach to You! Careless. Cocky. Even calloused. But fearless? Assured of Your glad welcome? This is a huge thought Dearest Lord. Bigger than I’ve even been willing to examine.

How I thank You for the opportunity to explore these verses with You. For far too long I have been attempting to live my life according to my own understanding of what You would and would not have me do. I just lay it all out to You now Lord. I don’t have a clue!

I tend to toss about much like the double-minded man James mentioned in his writing to the fellow believers of his time (1:5-8). Again I thank You for my not being alone in my tendency to make mistakes and not understand.

Lord, as I consider what it means to be in Your presence, all I can do is ask that You really would cleanse me from my every sin (1John 1:7). You are so much more wonderful than I ever give You credit for being. Guide and direct my every feeling, belief, thought and action today. Teach me how to truly love You with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength as I am commanded in Your Word (Mark 12:30).

I love You so very much. Teach me how to love You better. In Your precious name I pray these things. Amen.

(547 words ~ 8:11 a.m.)

obstinate

Thursday, August 26, 2010 (7:52 a.m.)

Loving Lord,

Thank You that as many things that I put before coming to You, You are still here when I finally concede. Forgive me Father for all the thoughts and mindless activities that I try to use to substitute the time that I really, truly want to spend with You. I’m not sure what the root of my obstinate behavior toward You is lately, but I do know that it doesn’t seem to be going away on its own. So, here I am Lord. Confessing to being much like Your chosen people of Israel, “stubborn and obstinate” (Isaiah 48 :4).

Mm, Lord. Thank You that I get to be this honest with You. I try in my own strength and power to make my feelings of apathy go away with no success. I confess myself to You and You meet me again right where I am. Thank You Lord. Thank You so incredibly much.

The 48^th chapter of Isaiah tells of Your people having been foretold of future judgments, yet they remain stiff-necked and hardheaded. Is there any doubt why I can relate here?

I take You for granted Lord. I don’t mean to. I’m embarrassed to even admit it. But the truth is, I do. I trust that You will always love me. No matter how badly I behave toward You. I read Your words about saving me for Your own sake (vs. 9,11) and I take a very careless, unenthusiastic approach to even the thought of Your unending grace.

Forgive me Lord. You deserve all of my worship and praise. NOT whatever is leftover at the end of the day. Help me Lord. Get me out of Your way of the things that You want to do in and through me. I DO love You so very much. Help me once again to truly be agog with You.

Thank You Lord for yet another opportunity to be honest with and to learn from You. I love You so much. Amen.

(340 words ~ 8:41 a.m.)

undecided

Monday, August 23, 2010 (1:22 p.m.)

Harrah’s Laughlin – Room 20386

Awesome God of Glory,

Thank You! Beautiful room. Incredible view. Wonderful husband. Who could ask for anything more?

That might sound just a little self-indulgent. And even with that thought, You have a verse!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010 (6:58 a.m.)

Wow, Lord! This is a surprise! Last night when the computer froze and I still hadn’t saved what I started to You so much earlier in the day, I thought of it as lost.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010 (7:27 a.m.)

And this morning Lord, I think of myself as a little lost. I keep trying to stay here with You to finish what I started two days ago but my mind keeps wandering. It seemed so much easier to check a few emails, look at some blogs, read about healthier choices that could be made.

Forgive me Lord. I’m not sure that I’m actually avoiding You, but I do know that I’m very easily distracted.

It started on Monday when I was looking at Proverbs 18:1 and wondering if You were wanting to talk to me about my being self-indulgent. I really don’t remember the verses I was looking into yesterday. And this morning I don’t know what You’d have me look at.

Your Word is filled with truth about Your love, grace, forgiveness… I ask You Lord to not only speak to me about what it is You would have me know, but give me understanding (Proverbs 3:4-6). Yes Lord, Your understanding about the things I do not know.

I have been avoiding You. I could kind of tell but I wasn’t ready to admit it full on. I have the tendency to jump to the conclusion that just because I think of something in a certain way, that makes it true. I absolutely know that this is not the case in most circumstances, but it doesn’t change my initial belief.

So Lord, I’m here asking You to guide me in Your Way, Your Truth, Your Life (John 14:6). Ah, and here it is Lord! The crux of the matter is that I don’t want You just to guide me Lord. I want You to direct those around me as well. And why is that? Because it will make my life easier, which takes me all the way back to feeling self-indulged.

Lord, I am so confused. There was a phrase used by a loved one the other night. An expression at which I immediately bristled. I’ve tried letting it go. I no longer want to be involved in situations that are not mine with which to deal. And herein lies my avoidance of You. Rather than come directly before You confessing that I am undecided with what to do, I have taken the long way around. I have attempted to skirt the issue by ignoring You. NOT a good idea!

Forgive me Lord. The other day I thought I knew for sure just what to do. But I hesitated. The more I have avoided You, the greater my indecision has become. Lord, I confess to having difficulty seeing that very fine line between things that are my business and those that are not. I need Your help Lord. Your guidance. Your Truth. Your Way. Your Life.

Again You just crack me up! As I’m turning in Peter’s second letter (to all believer’s everywhere) I read that his purpose for writing it was “to help his readers keep their focus on God’s grace and truth”. Oh, and here, reading further in “The Bottom Line” of The Life Recovery Bible the key verse is “For as you know Him better, He will give you, through His great power, everything you need for living a truly good life: He even shares His own glory and His goodness with us!” (1:3)

Blessed Lord, thank You for continuing to draw me back to Your loving arms. Thank You that immediately following his greeting “To: All of you who have our kind of faith” (v.1) he launched right in with “Do you want more and more of God’s kindness and peace? Then learn to know Him better and better.” (2) That is impossible by avoiding my time with You.

Thank You Lord for repeatedly calling me back to You. Thank You that just as I was again ready to close this blessed book, I looked back to the last paragraph. “Why do the pains, disappointments, and sins of life bring us down? Why do we hurt those we love the most? Perhaps we will never learn the answer to those questions. But 2 Peter does tell us how to change: get to know God. The God of the universe has made Himself available to us on a personal level. As we get to know Him, He will help us overcome our shortcomings and replace them with self-control, kindness, love, forgiveness, perseverance, patience, and peace.” (5-8)

Thank You Lord that even as I titled this prayer to You this morning, one song has kept me from being the least bit undecided. As I continue tapping away to You, it repeatedly reminds me that ♫I have decided to follow Jesus…♫ Thank You Lord for such an awesome decision as that!

I love You so much. Amen.

(880 words ~ 8:36 a.m.)