God's presence

Friday, August 27, 2010 (7:02 a.m.)

Awesome God,

Thank You. Thank You for Your presence. Although I continue in my feeble attempt to avoid You, I know You are good and in Your presence is where I truly long to be.

Thank You Lord for continuing to draw me near to You. I have all these false starts toward worship. I start and then I fall back. My heart practically leaps out of my chest when I think of all You have provided. Yet I allow myself to become distracted. Lord, thank You that there truly is nothing I would rather do than be here with You. Help me stay focused on You and Your Word this day.

I realize that I do not deserve to be allowed into Your presence. It is only by Your forgiving grace and the blood of Your precious Son that allows me entry into Your holy of holies. Is this what keeps me away? Do my thoughts regarding my sinfulness get in the way of the praise and worship You so rightly deserve?

This is real Lord. Examining my thoughts and feelings rather than busying them away is huge. I feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to go [much less stay] here. But I will. I will look, with You, at the fact that I don’t see myself as godly. “But let the godly rejoice. Let them be glad in God’s presence. Let them be filled with joy.” (Psalm 68:3) I accept that You are challenging my belief system. That just because I think a certain way definitely doesn’t make it so.

Let me take it a step further, “Because of Christ and our faith in Him, we can now come fearlessly into God’s presence, assured of His glad welcome.” (Ephesians 3:12) It’s true. It’s written in Your Word and Your Word is Truth. Fearless is NOT the word I would use to describe my approach to You! Careless. Cocky. Even calloused. But fearless? Assured of Your glad welcome? This is a huge thought Dearest Lord. Bigger than I’ve even been willing to examine.

How I thank You for the opportunity to explore these verses with You. For far too long I have been attempting to live my life according to my own understanding of what You would and would not have me do. I just lay it all out to You now Lord. I don’t have a clue!

I tend to toss about much like the double-minded man James mentioned in his writing to the fellow believers of his time (1:5-8). Again I thank You for my not being alone in my tendency to make mistakes and not understand.

Lord, as I consider what it means to be in Your presence, all I can do is ask that You really would cleanse me from my every sin (1John 1:7). You are so much more wonderful than I ever give You credit for being. Guide and direct my every feeling, belief, thought and action today. Teach me how to truly love You with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength as I am commanded in Your Word (Mark 12:30).

I love You so very much. Teach me how to love You better. In Your precious name I pray these things. Amen.

(547 words ~ 8:11 a.m.)