obedience

Wednesday, December 15, 2010 (3:04 a.m.)

Awesome, Amazing Blessed God,

For almost two hours I’ve been awake trying to go back to sleep. I’m thinking there’s something You want me to learn, so here I am. Finally.

Hmm. Do you want to speak to me about obedience Lord?

(6:25 a.m.)

Mm. Maybe so. I obeyed. I came. I read (Psalm 111, Job 28:28, James 1:5). And I got to go back to sleep. Thank You Lord. Now I … had a question. But You, being the perfect You that You are, answered it before I even got it out.

Yes. You want to speak to me this morning about obedience. Thank You that You would lead me to and then guide me through Your Word this morning.

“Obedience involves battle – it’s excruciating to give up control.” This from a women’s devotional (by Rebecca Manley Pippert) linked to Galatians 2:15-21. As I notice the stars I drew long ago on both sides of the title “More Myself” I’m excited to realize that I have felt emphatically about this passage in the past. I have a circle, bracket, exclamation point and underlines clearly attesting to my agreement more than once before.

“To struggle does not mean we are incorrigible. It means we are alive!” Thank You God! Thank You that I am in good company with other strugglers.

“A disciple says, ‘I hear You, Lord. It’s the nuttiest thing I ever heard. It’s risky. I’ll look like a fool, but I’ll do it. Because my life is no longer committed to doing my thing but Your thing.’”

Oh and then I keep reading and tears come to my heart and my soul. “Why should we want Him to have control of our lives? Besides the fact that He deserves it because of who He is, He knows He is the only One in the universe who can control us without destroying us. No one will ever love you like Jesus. No one will ever know you better, care more for your wholeness. The last breath Jesus breathed on this planet was for you.”

As I consider Your last breath I turn the page to read the corresponding verse. Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

Mm Lord. How can I ever not want to practice obedience? “Jesus will meet you wherever you are and He will help you. He is not intimidated by past failures, broken promises or wounds. He will make sense out of your brokenness. But He can only begin to be the Lord of your life today, not next Monday or next month, but now.”

And here comes the part where my entire being relaxes and smiles even more. “And the great and joyful paradox is that while He totally transforms us He makes us more ourselves than ever before.”

Mm. ♫Come Lord Jesus Come♫ Come teach me more about obedience to (and in) You. Come make me more my true self than ever before. I love You Lord. Amen.

(536 words ~ 8:27 a.m.)

praise

Tuesday, December 14, 2010 (6:09 a.m.)

Awesome God,

Teach me today about praising You. “Thanks” comes fairly easy. But I don’t understand a lot about praise.

I heard it said a long time ago that we are to thank You for the things You do and praise You for the things You are. Is this true?

I have my Psalty Bible at the ready. This is where the songs in my heart and my head are coming from so far this morning.

♫Don’t you know it’s time to praise the Lord? In the sanctuary of His Holy Spirit So set your mind on Him And let your praise begin And the glory of the Lord will fill this place. Praise the Lord, praise the Lord♫

Even as I sing those words Dearest Lord, I wonder. Just exactly what IS the sanctuary of Your Holy Spirit? And how do I praise You there?

With that asked, let me confess to You right now. I KNOW I am to praise You! There are so many things for which I am truly grateful. And right at this very moment I’m just not ‘feelin’ it’ God.

I mean no disrespect! In fact, I think it would be more disrespectful to continue asking You about praise while I’m sitting here thinking ‘yeah, yeah, sure, sure’. You deserve SO much more from me than that!

So what do we do Dearest Lord? I confess that I can’t even praise You on my own. You remind me that You can teach me. And then I decide to let You. Hmm. Seems pretty basic to me.

My heart is weighed down with the concerns for other people Lord. I even noticed the very slight beginning to a headache last night. My neck is stiff and most of my smiles so far this morning are practically forced. None of this looks like praise to me Blessed Lord!

Oh but You are so good Dearest Lord. With tears in my eyes, I turn the pages of other Bibles and then I find it! From looking up ‘praise’ in the back of The Life Recovery Bible I am reading about ‘Hope’ at Psalm 42. My face and heart, perhaps even my mind and soul are all smiling as I read “Why then am I downcast? Why be discouraged and sad? Hope in God! I shall yet praise Him again. Yes, I shall again praise Him for His help” (v. 5).

Going into the living room to get our Learning Bible again I smile as I read about the photo of a fifth century mosaic from the Mausoleum of Galla Placidia, Ravenna, Italy. The caption of “Hinds Longing for Water” tells of the importance of water to all living creatures, often representing life itself. Off to the side I am directed to see the note at 18:46. Curious, I go. And? Yes! Another smile!

A photo of the rocky hills and cliffs of Palestine (near Arbela) represents a “mighty rock”. Lord, I confess to not fully understanding the tears that this particular verse is provoking in me. But praise You I will!

“You are the living Lord! I will praise You. You are a Mighty Rock. I will honor You for keeping me safe” (Psalm 18:46).

Praise You God. Teach me how to praise You. I love You. Amen.

(558 words ~ 7:45 a.m.)

train of thought

Monday, December 13, 2010 (6:26 a.m.)

Awesome, Blessed Lord God,

Thank You! I didn’t start out with thank You. No. I believe my first thought this morning was “Ow”. Thank You Lord that You absolutely changed my train of thought from thinking of the pain in my lower back from a negative to a positive.

Thanking You for pain? Never thought I’d see it happen. But just look at how it has truly led me already this morning. I woke up thinking how it couldn’t possibly be time to get up. I told You I didn’t really care to watch the sun today. You reminded me of the trashcans that needed to go out to the street. I countered with the pain in my back.

And there it was. No longer “Ouch” but “thank You”. Thank You Lord that because of this very pain I have slowed way down. I’m looking at things differently. If not for the pain there is the very good chance that I would have jumped headlong onto the Christmas train of mindless activity I’ve been managing to stay off so far this season.

Because of the pain [which rhymes with ‘train’ I might add J] I need to rethink the way I do everything. The way I stand and sit, even laugh and sneeze. And I’m thanking You Lord. I am choosing to be mindful in my decisions. Aware. Alert. All the things You tell us. Yeah, here’s a thought ~ maybe if I had paid more attention in the first place we wouldn’t be having this particular discourse. Ah, but having it we are. AND I am particularly grateful for it!

Lord, I am happy to have to slow down and really think about the things that truly matter. Thank You for sidelining me from rushing through things. Thank You that even in slowly moving the recyclables to the street, not only did I become aware of all the rosebuds we have just ready to bloom. No. I also caught a whiff of the neighbor’s geranium, which immediately took my thoughts back to childhood.

Glancing up to once again see that bright morning star which always helps me smile, I became more aware of the crisp, clean air and mountainous view surrounding me. And of course, thanked You!

1 Thessalonians 5:18 is the verse I got up thinking about. “No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” This is one of the very first times that it came naturally Lord. Effortlessly. I didn’t have to force or wrestle with my thoughts. They just changed direction. From negative to positive. Thank You Lord for leading my train of thought this morning. How I ask that You stay with me this day. Guide and direct my whole heart, soul, mind, and body (Mark 12:30) that I will feel, be, think and do the things that will bring You honor and glory. I love You so very much Dearest Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(505 words ~ 7:27 a.m.)

power

Sunday, December 12, 2010 (9:26 a.m.)

Okay Lord,

Three hours after the fact, I’m ready. I’m pretty much done with the stomping and the pouting and am ready to ask for and receive (John 16:24) Your strength and Your power (Ephesians 6:10). Thank You Lord. Thank You that You are patient and kind (1Corinthians 13:4-7). You are faithful and just (1John1:9). Thank You that because You are all these things and so much more, I get to come to You exactly as I am. Sometimes feeling happier than others. Many times feeling excited and eager to tell others (agog) about You. And just as often, feeling sluggish, morose, even apathetic. That is until Your mighty power kicks in!

Thank You Lord that You are willing to wait me out. You don’t just give me a set amount of time to come to my senses. No. You wait. As long as it takes. Until I am finally ready to say, “You know what God? I want to want to be here! I love You and I want to want to spend time with You.” And here it is. Finally. Your patience pays off. I’m here, ready to thank You and praise You and tell You I love You.

You are far more important to me than something to just blindly cross off my list of things to do. I love You way too much to come before You without my whole heart (Mark 12:30). Thank You that You are willing to wait for my soul to catch up with my mind and my body.

I love You Lord. I like You. I want to spend time with You. Thank You for inviting me every moment of every day to be with You. To get to know You. Mm, Lord. Thank You for the power of Your Holy Spirit that is willing to come along, turning hearts, souls, minds, and strength back to You.

Thank You Lord that because of this very prayer right here and right now I’m getting acquainted with new-to-me verses that I’ve yet to know before. Romans 15:12-13 (The Message) “And Isaiah’s word: There’s the root of our ancestor Jesse, breaking through the earth and growing tree tall, Tall enough for everyone everywhere to see and take hope! Oh! May the God of green hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy (power!) of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope!”

Oh most precious Lord. How I love You! How I thank You. How I ask You to let me live this power to Your ultimate good this day. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(352 words ~ 10:49 a.m.)

hilarious!

Saturday, December 11, 2010 (7:25 a.m.)

Lord God,

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You! Never in my life would I ever have thought that I would be sitting here thanking You for a dead rodent in the bottom of our pool. Yep. Dead rodent. BLECH! But thank You!

Thank You that I had been praying just prior to going outside that You would help me regain my power. There had been a tiny little disagreement here over the use of old batteries instead of fresh ones and I found myself getting upset over the way the whole situation was being handled. The degree to which I was becoming more and more irritated didn’t match well with the triviality of it all, but I truly couldn’t stop myself on my own.

That’s when I noticed what was happening with me! I saw clearly how I didn’t like being ignored. I was completely aware that I had the choice to let it bother me or to let it go. In choosing to let it go [thank YOU very much J] I noticed that it didn’t take long until I was being sucked back into negative, childish thoughts and behaviors.

That’s when I began praying and asking You to change my focus. I asked You to help me learn to allow someone to be upset with me without thinking I had to fix the situation. Even as I prayed, I was keenly aware of the inner turmoil going on inside me. I knew what was best – to just let everything play out on its own. Yet I also knew how I felt – ignored and ready to ‘show him’ that I didn’t like how he was treating me.

Enter You and Your hilarious sense of humor! Lord God, I truly still can’t thank You enough for the way You absolutely, completely, without a doubt changed my focus and state of mind.

How perfect it was that I had fairly mindlessly gone out to take care of the pool while the other half of the disagreement went to get lunch [which I thought was awfully nice under the circumstances!] It was as I drew closer to the fence, thinking how I would start by taking that great big leaf out first that I realized this was no leaf.

Nope. Furry. Tail. Grosser than gross! And what did I do after my initial scream of disgust? I laughed. Loud. And long. All the way from deep in my belly. Between an occasional screech of “Eeew!” and “Gross!” there were only the sounds of my laughter. And thanksgiving. To You!

Only you could take me from what was truly becoming a foul mood, by introducing something even fouler. Thank You Lord. Thank You that You could use a dead rodent, a large dead rodent at that, to bring me back to my senses.

I didn’t have to give away the power of my being okay. I needed that power to take care of the business at hand. Thank You that I was fully aware that it was You here with me proving once again that I truly “can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need” (Philippians 4:13).

Thank You Lord. You are amazing. Brilliant. Creative. Deliberate… Hilarious! I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(555 words ~ 8:30 a.m.)

the dream

Friday, December 10, 2010 (6:37 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

There is so much to learn. Thank You that You make us teachable. Thank You that I was delightfully eager [agog] to come out here with You this morning.

Having just woken up from an action packed dream, filled with drama. I look at symbols like a broken bridge and other things that weren’t working to my liking and I see how my whole self [thank You that I was honestly aware of the way I was feeling] relaxed as I sought and looked for other avenues. Lord, I want very much to take the attention to detail I paid in this dream into my everyday life. A wooden suspension bridge was broken and splintered. Continuing ahead only got harder and more dangerous. Trying to do it all on my own? Not a good idea.

Asking others for help, while still thinking the answer was straight ahead finally resulted with me turning around and seeing that I had only come a little way. Going back to where I started was clearly the better option.

Mm, Lord. Just yesterday You reminded me a little bit about the importance of ‘being alert and always keep praying’ (Ephesians 6:18) as well as ‘being earnest and repenting’ (Revelation 3:19).

Oh but Lord, it just gets so much better! I looked up the Revelation verse in The Message. “The people I love, I call to account – prod and correct and guide so that they’ll live at their best. Up on your feet, then! About face! Run after God!”

That’s what I did in the dream Lord! As I inched my way along that broken, splintered bridge on my hands and knees there finally came the good sense to turn around. I got up on my feet and ran back to safety to begin again.

Lord, thank You for being our safety! Thank You for having ‘plans for us that are for good and not for evil. Plans to give us a future and a hope’ (Jeremiah 29:11). Thank You that there was even more to the dream.

I stood in a slow moving line and waited patiently to get where I thought I needed to go. After the other people stopped and split into two different lines, I realized I wasn’t at all where I needed to be. Stopping to ask for directions, I received varying opinions.

Lord, thank You that it was the wisdom of some little kids that once again got me moving. I realized I was dragging and attempting to balance many unnecessary items. These children very simply and directly asked me, “Why?”

Even in remembering this with You right now, I turned immediately to Hebrews (12:1-2) and am still nodding my head. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Lord God, it IS You we long to glorify this holiday season! I actually had an “Ah-ha!” moment in that dream dearest Lord. As the little children led me to rethink my priorities, not only did I become fully aware of what all I was trying to do, I honestly asked myself “Why?” When I realized I was feeling hurt and slighted, I changed my focus to the things that truly brought me joy. WOW! What a difference Lord! Right then, in my dream [and still now] another song began.

I haven’t been able to find it yet, but it has to do with having a very special Christmas. Lord. This is what I ask this morning. Help me stay focused on YOU and the things that bring us joy. I love You so very much Lord. Merry Christmas. I love You. Amen.

(671 words ~ 7:46 a.m.)

Teach me

Thursday, December 9, 2010 (5:38 a.m.)

Awesome God,

Make me teachable today.

(6:49 a.m.)

Yes Lord. Teach me. Teach me Your will and Your way. Teach me the things YOU would have me know [and do] today.

Lord, I’m having trouble staying focused here. My mind [as well as my being] keeps wandering. First I delighted in again seeing that bright morning star out in the crisp morning air.

(8:35 a.m.)

Rattled. Easily distracted. Unfocused. Undisciplined. These are words that seem to describe me this morning Lord. Help! Again I ask You to help me learn what it is You have for me today.

Bouncing all around Your Word this morning, I keep trying to read Psalm 119. How appropriate that the last verse (176) says so clearly, “I have wandered away like a lost sheep; come and find me, for I have not turned away from Your commandments.”

Mm. Lord. I confess 176 verses of one psalm seems to be too much for me to stay focused on this morning. Not only have I been jumping from book to book in Your Word this morning, I find myself all over the place in this one chapter alone. A genuine tilted (toppled, unsteady) pinball machine!

Oh but the truth of Your Word Dearest Lord. As I literally hop, skip and jump around this particular psalm this morning, my eyes are drawn to a Step 11 devotion regarding verses 1-11 entitled Powerful Secrets. Spelling out Step 11, “We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out” I ask exactly that Dearest Lord.

Through the years I’ve come to view the word ‘secrets’ in a very negative light. The phrase, “We are only as sick as our secrets” readily comes to mind whenever I hear the word. This particular devotion challenges that for me this morning. It starts out very familiar for me, “The secrets we hide away have enormous power in our life. How many of our addictive/compulsive behaviors have been hidden or covered up?”

It goes on to describe how addictive behaviors and secrets lose their power over us when they are exposed. This thought too I am familiar with. Oh but look! Something I’ve managed to miss all these years. “The power of hidden behaviors and secrets can work for us as well as against us.” Hmm. Now THERE’S a refreshing thought!

In verse 11, David speaks of thinking much about Your words and storing them in his heart. The word ‘stored’ can trace back to meaning ‘to hide by covering over’ or ‘to hoard secretly’.

The devotion goes on to say, “If we ‘hide’ God’s Word in our heart by memorizing and meditating on it, we will find new power to keep our mind and heart clean. The power of secrets will also work to our advantage in our prayer life.”

Jesus taught us in Matthew 6:6, “But when you pray, go away by yourself, all alone, and shut the door behind you and pray to your Father secretly, and your Father, who knows your secrets, will reward you.”

Hmm Lord, as I turn to You now – secretly – I ask You to indeed provide the power I need to do as You would have me do this day. I love You Lord. Thank You for once again teaching me! Amen.

(579 words ~ 9:14 a.m.)