obedience

Wednesday, December 15, 2010 (3:04 a.m.)

Awesome, Amazing Blessed God,

For almost two hours I’ve been awake trying to go back to sleep. I’m thinking there’s something You want me to learn, so here I am. Finally.

Hmm. Do you want to speak to me about obedience Lord?

(6:25 a.m.)

Mm. Maybe so. I obeyed. I came. I read (Psalm 111, Job 28:28, James 1:5). And I got to go back to sleep. Thank You Lord. Now I … had a question. But You, being the perfect You that You are, answered it before I even got it out.

Yes. You want to speak to me this morning about obedience. Thank You that You would lead me to and then guide me through Your Word this morning.

“Obedience involves battle – it’s excruciating to give up control.” This from a women’s devotional (by Rebecca Manley Pippert) linked to Galatians 2:15-21. As I notice the stars I drew long ago on both sides of the title “More Myself” I’m excited to realize that I have felt emphatically about this passage in the past. I have a circle, bracket, exclamation point and underlines clearly attesting to my agreement more than once before.

“To struggle does not mean we are incorrigible. It means we are alive!” Thank You God! Thank You that I am in good company with other strugglers.

“A disciple says, ‘I hear You, Lord. It’s the nuttiest thing I ever heard. It’s risky. I’ll look like a fool, but I’ll do it. Because my life is no longer committed to doing my thing but Your thing.’”

Oh and then I keep reading and tears come to my heart and my soul. “Why should we want Him to have control of our lives? Besides the fact that He deserves it because of who He is, He knows He is the only One in the universe who can control us without destroying us. No one will ever love you like Jesus. No one will ever know you better, care more for your wholeness. The last breath Jesus breathed on this planet was for you.”

As I consider Your last breath I turn the page to read the corresponding verse. Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

Mm Lord. How can I ever not want to practice obedience? “Jesus will meet you wherever you are and He will help you. He is not intimidated by past failures, broken promises or wounds. He will make sense out of your brokenness. But He can only begin to be the Lord of your life today, not next Monday or next month, but now.”

And here comes the part where my entire being relaxes and smiles even more. “And the great and joyful paradox is that while He totally transforms us He makes us more ourselves than ever before.”

Mm. ♫Come Lord Jesus Come♫ Come teach me more about obedience to (and in) You. Come make me more my true self than ever before. I love You Lord. Amen.

(536 words ~ 8:27 a.m.)