forgiveness

Tuesday, September 7, 2010 (6:37 a.m.)

Awesome and Wonderful God,

Thank You! Talk to me this morning about forgiveness, would You please? I still have a long way to go with it. I had honestly forgotten how easily I could hold a grudge and just how detrimental that is to my health - physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Oh look at that! All the aspects of loving You – with all my heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30).

Lord, it is here that I must ask You to forgive me. I knew my feelings were hurt over something relatively minor. I also knew that I had stored it up and was occasionally taking it out to look at it, reminding myself of just how ‘right’ I was to continue feeling hurt. Oh, and I didn’t stop there! No, no. I got to the place where I started adding to it. Every slight. Every perceived indifference went straight into that gunnysack I was carrying around with me. [Interesting isn’t it that it was gunny sacks that Daddy used to use to bring home the stinkiest, smelliest fish from his fishing trips - all iced down to keep them fresh. The icier my tones and attitudes became the fresher the wound stayed!]

Forgive me Lord. There for a while I truly thought I was justified. Even when I repeatedly felt You urging me toward forgiveness, I would consider Your guidance then slip over to “But what about…?” I’m thinking this would be exactly why Paul encouraged his followers in Ephesus to live in unity. Ephesians 4:25-27, “So put away all falsehood and ‘tell your neighbor the truth’ (Zechariah 8:16) because we belong to each other. And ‘don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you.’ (Psalm 4:4) Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the devil.”

And it did! One thing so very quickly led to another. And the next thing I knew I had dug myself into a hole that I was becoming too embarrassed to crawl out of. Lord, thank You for Your guidance. It was Your persistent leading that helped me finally come clean and seek my friend’s forgiveness for grudge holding.

Your Word has great things to teach us about grudges as well. Leviticus 19:17-18, “Don’t hold grudges. On the other hand, it’s wrong not to correct someone who needs correcting. Stop being angry and don’t try to take revenge. I am the Lord, and I command you to love others as much as you love yourself.”

And then of course there is the wisdom of the Preacher/Teacher in Ecclesiastes 7:9, “Only fools get angry quickly and hold a grudge.”

Thank You Lord that You Word is filled with Your love, Your will, Your way and all we have to do is choose to follow You. Yes. It all comes right back to Deuteronomy 30:19-20, “This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice and hold fast to Him. For the Lord is your life, and He will give you many years in the land He swore to give your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.”

Lord, I love You so much. Thank You that Your forgiveness includes every single time I give in to willful [actually WON’T-full J] stubborn disobedience and then finally come to YOUR senses. Thank You for NEVER giving up on me!

♫Oh no, You never let go Through the calm and through the storm Oh no, You never let go In every high and every low Oh no, You never let go Lord, You never let go of me♫ How blessed I am Lord, that You never let go! Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(660 words ~ 8: 03 a.m.)

♫Holy, Holy, Holy♫

Labor Day Monday, September 6, 2010 (4:04 a.m.)

Good really early morning Lord,

The clock said 3:33 and I’ve been singing ♫Holy, Holy, Holy♫ ever since. Coming out here and looking it up, at least now it makes sense! We sang it in church yesterday morning. ♫Open the eyes of my heart Lord… I want to see You… high and lifted up Shining in the light of Your glory Pour out Your power and love As we sing holy, holy, holy Holy, holy, holy… I want to see You♫

Wow Lord! What a thought! To actually see You? I see evidences of You constantly. There’s the beauty that surrounds us almost endlessly. I see You in the way we’ve changed by growing in You and Your Word. But to actually see You? ♫Shining in the light of Your glory♫? I don’t even know what that would be like!

Absolutely overwhelming. Completely awestruck. These are just a few of the thoughts that immediately come to mind. I’m going back to bed for awhile to meditate on the idea of truly having Your power and love poured out upon me.

It’s very early Lord and these thoughts are wonderfully profound. ♫Open the eyes of my heart Lord♫ especially as I prepare to again close the eyes of my body. I love You!

(7:24 a.m.)

Thank You Lord for a few more hours of sleep. Thank You that during that time of rest I continued contemplating what it would be like to have You ♫pour out Your power and love♫ and for us to sing ♫Holy, holy, holy♫

Lord, How I thank You for these thoughts. Thinking these things allowed me to get to a place of much needed awareness. An opening of the eyes of my heart if You will. I have slipped back over to a place of storing up hurt feelings. Rather than discussing them or better still, just letting them go, I’ve been harboring them. Holding on to occasionally take another look as to why I am justified to feel as I do.

Thank You God for giving me words to express myself. Non-judgmentally. Without malice or discontent. Just straightforward, matter-of-fact “My feelings were hurt when…”

Thank You Lord. Thank You that You love us so much that You always want Your best for us. Thank You that You have the patience to wait for us to want You too. Mm. Yes. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(410 words ~ 7:36 a.m.)

accident

Sunday, September 5, 2010 (6:43 a.m.)

Amazingly, Awesome God,

Thank You! There was a mistake made in the pool here yesterday that could have turned into a much bigger problem. It truly was an accident Lord. One of those things which ‘happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury.’ Thankfully to You, the only damage or injury that seemed to have resulted was in the possible hurt or embarrassed feelings of a nine year old girl. Lord, this is where I come to You. I don’t take the potential of my having hurt another lightly.

I don’t know if I overreacted. I truly was scared to think of the ‘undesirable or possibly disastrous results’ that could have stemmed from the act of one fairly confident swimmer grabbing on to a less confident swimmer’s leg. I was right there. There was no real physical damage or injury. But what about emotional harm Lord? Did I go too far in my attempt to make the point for the importance of safety?

This morning my very first cohesive thoughts were to come here before You rejoicing in the fact that You had once again reminded me that my ‘job’ where water is concerned is in helping people learn to be safe in and near it.

I tend to get so excited in wanting others to learn to swim that I have once again forgotten the importance of teaching the safe water rescues that go along with it. Forgive me Lord.

As this final week of what has seemed to be a very short swim season comes to an end, help me teach the things You would have others know Dearest Lord.

I read Your Word and see where You had ‘safe towns’ set up for people to go who had accidentally caused a death. The Preacher/Teacher of Ecclesiastes (1:9) noted “Everything that happens has happened before; nothing is new, nothing under the sun.”

Lord, I am still so easily amazed when I turn to Your Word and see things that I am thinking or feeling that were already spelled out so many years before. Accidents have been happening since before the early pages of Your Word recorded them. I ask You Lord to grant me Your wisdom and grace to deal with them as they arise. And where water is concerned, to help others be better prepared to handle them when they do.

Lord, I love You so very much. Thank You for the time You take with me each and every day. Amen.

(424 words ~ 7:51 a.m.)

memories

Saturday, September 4, 2010 (7:05 a.m.)

Good Morning Lord,

I love You. Thank You. I’m smiling as I contemplate memories. Yesterday You provided us a wonderful opportunity to retrace many of our most precious memories beginning some 34 years ago. A favorite beach house, treasured friends and beautiful surroundings all led to a blessed afternoon of remembering. Thank You Lord. Thank You for the gift of memories.

This morning I find only two verses containing the word memories. They both challenge me to become more the woman You created me to be. Proverbs 10:7, “We all have happy memories of the godly, but the name of a wicked person rots away.” How very true Lord. I desperately long to become a person who evokes happy memories!

Paul’s first letter to the people of Thessalonica tells of Timothy’s visit to them in Paul’s place. “But Timothy has just now come to us from you and has brought good news about your faith and love. He has told us that you always have pleasant memories of us and that you long to see us just as we also long to see you.” (1 Thessalonians 3:6)

These are the people I want to emulate Lord. No Lord. Scratch that. On second (and even third, fourth, fifth…) thought, YOU are the person I want to be like! Thank You for providing us with their examples of being people filled with Your faith and love. These were people readily willing to suffer greatly for the privilege of following You.

According to The Bible Handbook, Paul knew these young believers were suffering persecution and strong opposition. His love for them was further demonstrated by his concern and sending Timothy in his place. He was filled with joy upon Timothy’s return with news of their steadfastness and affection for Paul.

As deeply as Paul loved these believers, he didn’t pray that their persecution would end. Instead he asked You “that their intimate relationship of love, so vital to growth in holiness, might ‘increase and overflow’ (vs. 12, 13)”.

Lord, continue Your work in me. I pray that I would not so much fear suffering but instead count it as a blessing. Thank You for the memories that You provide us Lord. Help us use them to continue building the lives You would have us live. I love You so much dearest Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(399 words ~ 8:12 a.m.)

haughty

Friday, September 3, 2010 (6:35 a.m.)

Oh Your Goodness Lord,

Oh Your great and glorious goodness! Thank You Lord! After all these years I have finally gotten another glimpse of understanding of the word haughty. To which I can only say, “Ouch!” L

Lord, I don’t like seeing myself in such an unflattering light. “Arrogantly superior and disdainful”. Oh dearest Lord, how very long have I so strongly resembled that word?

My first recollection of even wondering what it meant was upon reading it in my Life Recovery Bible fifteen years ago. After first receiving this edition of The Living Bible I remember wondering what in the world 1 Corinthians 13:5 meant by love is “never haughty”. Although I believed I had a good understanding of the end of the verse, “or selfish or rude” it wasn’t until this very morning upon awakening that the “Aha!” light bulb went on for me.

Lord, I feel so embarrassed and ashamed! This past week I have been revisiting my memories of myself as a much younger wife and mother. I had quite a few opinions, theories and especially rather harsh judgments concerning the women role models of my youth. My grandma, mom and mother-in-law come immediately to mind as I consider my haughtiness in planning (and fully expecting) to do SUCH a much better job at listening to and raising our children, being attentive to my husband, etc.

Let me sum it all up right here, right now. NOT! I didn’t know what I thought I knew Lord. I was haughty. No two ways about it. Even if by chance it didn’t show outwardly, I know very well in my heart of hearts that I was absolutely, positively, without a doubt haughty. Forgive me Lord. I could try to use my own immaturity or insecurity as an attempt of excusing myself, but the bottom line is that in working so hard to get myself up on a pedestal of my own making, I would have only been putting myself in a position to look down on another. Not at all what Paul described as love to the Corinthians in his first letter to them.

I want to be a loving person Lord. Not in comparison to anyone else. Not in any attempt to look so good to others. No Lord. I want to love You and others because that is what You created me to do. It is far more than obvious that I can’t do this by myself. But You, being the loving, perfect God that You are can do it in me and through me. Teach me to love Lord, as You would have me love. Purely. Genuinely. Freely.

I love You so much dearest Lord. Help me love others and myself as well. Thank You for another glimpse of grace. Your grace, Lord. I love You. Amen.

(476 words ~ 7:27 a.m.)

casual

Thursday, September 2, 2010 (7:59 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Well there went a whole hour and a half of “I just want to check for this one phone number. Oh yeah, what about this number? Let me look at the emails real quick. Oh, and facebook too…”

I rather be here with You Lord! I’d really MUCH rather be here with You! Forgive my casual approach to You. You gave Your life for me and I still haven’t gotten back to consistently giving You the first hour of my day. Hmm. Doesn’t look at all like full esteem and reverence of You from this vantage point. Whatever will You do with me Lord? How will You heighten my level of commitment to You?

I do love You so much. There is no doubt about that! I’m reading in Your Word about sin and gladly suffering in obedience to Your will and Your way (1Peter 4:1). I remember being very flip and irreverent when first presented with this truth several years ago.

Reading of others’ casual approach to Your grace and goodness, I wince at the similarity of Jeremiah’s (3:9) presentation of Your depiction of Judah’s casual behavior toward Your loving kindness. “She treated it all so lightly – to her it was nothing at all that she should worship idols made of wood and stone [or in this particular case ‘bits and microchips’! L]. And so the land was greatly polluted and defiled.”

Lord, it is never my conscious intent to slip over that fine line of obedience into disobedience. There are so many areas where I honestly can’t be trusted. Please Lord, continue Your work in me that I would learn to approach You, Your Word, Your will, Your way with the reverence that is so rightly deserved. Replace my irreverent casualness with full-on esteem and reverence. I love You so very much. I truly do. Thank You. Amen.

(320 words ~ 9:28 a.m.)

God-confidence

Wednesday, September 1, 2010 (6:50 a.m.)

Most amazing and awesome God,

Thank You that this morning I couldn’t wait to come out here with You. Thank You that again today I feel especially “AGOG With God”. Oh yea! And thank You!

Blessed God, thank You that yesterday I once again realized the degree to which I have been fueling myself with fear. Thank You Lord that I don’t have to live a moment being afraid of making mistakes. And yes. I know that just because I don’t have to, doesn’t mean that I won’t.

Awesome God, how I LOVE reading Your Word and getting so excited when I recognize myself in it! It’s like when Pastor Ed described how most people look for themselves in a photograph. Usually to see how they came out in it. Thank You Lord, that so very often I read Your Word to see how I am developing and to remind myself what good company I am in.

I sit here reading The Message and I grin as I take in the way Eugene Peterson has presented Paul’s words to the Corinthians. Chapter nine ends as he tells of the crown of laurels that was to be won at the end of a race back then. That kind of crown didn’t last forever and Paul said that he never ran without a goal. He didn’t box by beating his fists in the air. He wanted his readers to understand that the need to train and the desire to win applies to our spiritual lives as much as it does to athletic competitions.

Lord God, thank You for continually reminding me that all my hope and faith and trust HAS to be in You! Every single bit of strength I have ultimately comes from You. With that being the case, why would I want to waste a single ounce of it from being afraid of making a mistake?

Lord, how I ask You to keep me hoping, trusting, believing in You. You are so good. It’s only in and through You that I would ever read these next words that the apostle wrote to those Corinthians he referred to as friends. In what has now become chapter ten, he encouraged them to remember their history. He reminded them of the miracles their ancestors had witnessed when they “walked under the cloud and went through the sea” (v. 1) as they followed Moses “from enslaving death to salvation life” (v. 2).

Paul reminded and warned his dear friends that their predecessors had their “meals provided daily by God”. They all were able to eat and drink because of the spiritual food and drink You gave to them. The drink was from the Rock. And the Rock was Christ (3-4).

And this is where my resemblance comes in. Verse 5, “But just experiencing God’s wonder and grace didn’t seem to mean much – most of them were defeated by temptation during the hard times in the desert, and God was not pleased.” Too often I give into temptation Lord. I never trained as an athlete. I am prone to giving up easily. Running to win is a foreign concept to me. Quitting is what I have been good at through the years.

You are changing that quality in me. Thank You Lord. You are not going to leave me alone in the fear of my own making. I sit here reading Paul’s message, seeing myself. "We must never try to get Christ to serve us instead of us serving Him; they (the people who did shameful things) tried it and God launched an epidemic of poisonous snakes. We must be careful not to stir up discontent; discontent destroyed them"(9-10).

And here comes what got me to this book in the first place this morning. Verses 11 and 12, “These are all warning markers – danger! – in our history book, written down so that we don’t repeat their mistakes. Our positions in the story are parallel – they at the beginning, we at the end – and we are just as capable of messing it up as they were. Don’t be naïve and self-confident. You’re not exempt. You could fall flat on your face [And I have! J] as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence; it’s useless. Cultivate God-confidence.”

Mm, yes Lord! God-confidence. As I am once again reminded of just how very small I am, thank You for the awesome comparison of just how very great You are. Thank You Lord. Thank You for bringing me here. Thank You for teaching me and guiding me. How I ask You to be with us this day as I prepare to possibly make mistakes if they need to be made. Transform me from this prison of fear and emotional paralysis into a person of action in and through You.

Any confidence I have HAS to come from You! Thank You so much dearest Lord for taking time with me this morning. I love You so very much. Thank You. Amen.

(840 words ~ 8:29 a.m.)