fair

Thursday, September 30, 2010 (6:22 a.m.)

Blessed, Loving Lord,

Thank You. Thank You for this fairly early morning time alone with You.

(7:16 a.m.)

Lord, I am going to straight out confess to You that I feel like the biggest phony in the whole world. Every single time I come before You and then get sidetracked by something else (like checking health statistics on the internet) I judge myself harshly for being less adoring of You than You deserve.

You provide such wonder and awe. Joy. Fun. And I sit in judgment of myself. (And others!)

We went to the fair yesterday, Lord. You. Me. And this incredibly wonderful husband. I didn’t expect to have fun. I didn’t even really want to go. I listened to the opinion of another and thought we would be wasting our time. Once again I was proven wrong. Dead wrong!

I can’t remember having a better time. We were relaxed. It was fun. Every time I turned around there was another reason to think of and to thank You. I don’t remember our skies being bluer. It wasn’t too hot. Even when it clouded up and started to rain, great big heavy drops, we just went into another building and continued having fun. Fun at the fair. Fun at the fair that I didn’t even want to go to.

Lord, just how much do I miss out on in everyday living because I make up in my own mind what I think is true and base my decisions on faulty information? One person’s truth does not have to be my reality! How does this ever change Lord? How do I go from being this fearful, clingy woman to one of freedom and confidence? Only in You! Only through You!

It’s You that would lead me again to Paul’s letter to the Romans. But not just in any Bible. No. This morning in had to be in The Life Recovery Bible where I could again be reminded of these words, “For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from His love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels won’t and all the powers of hell itself cannot keep God’s love away… nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God” (8:38-39).

I struggle Lord. I pull away from You because I feel so ashamed and unworthy. And then I get to read in the overview of this book that Paul explained four major points to the Romans in this book. “First, God makes no distinction between us as individuals – we are all guilty, and we are all offered His free gift of salvation (1:17-4:25). Second, we can all be freed from sin’s power through God’s grace and the Holy Spirit inside us (5:1-8:39). Third, we are all ‘in recovery’ and therefore have no grounds for arrogance (9:1-11:36). And fourth, because of God’s mercy we all must respect one another, despite the differences between us (12:1-15:13).” That’s some pretty tall orders Lord. Thank You that You never leave us alone in our execution of them.

Paul wrote, “Yes, all have sinned; all fall short of God’s glorious ideal;” (3:23) but he didn’t leave us there. No. He went on to say, “our acquittal is not based on our good deeds; it is based on what Christ has done and our faith in Him. So it is that we are saved by faith in Christ and not by the good things we do” (3:27-28).

And the reason I ended up in this book reminding me that I have been “Declared ‘Not Guilty’ ”? Because You are fair! “Entirely fair and just” according to verses 25 and 26. Blessed Lord God, I can never thank You enough for all You have done on my behalf. But I will continue trying! Thank You for all You are and all You do. You are wonderful and I am blessed to know You. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(668 words ~ 8:38 a.m.)