always here

Friday, June 8, 2018 (7:22 a.m.)

Tahoe Vista, CA

Blessed God,

Thank You! Thank You for forgiveness. Thank You for struggle. Thank You for privilege. Thank You friends and family who are willing to pray for one in need.

There’s that word again. You made me willing yesterday. Willing to pray. Willing to ask. Willing to search. Willing to forgive. Thank You Father. Thank You that You alone are good (Mark 10:18; Luke 18:19; Psalm 16:2).

(9:19 a.m.)

And then there was breakfast. Followed by near silence, but for the sound of the lake lapping on the shore. Father, I thought that somehow I was going to bypass the usual end of trip sadness.

While there is just a tinge of it as the rest of the family heads off to the airport, I am keenly aware that a dam of emotion could break at any minute. Thank You Father for awareness. Thank You that I know You have my back in all of this.

Thank You that 

(11:23 a.m.)

… I go away and come back and You’re still here. Always here. Mm, yes. Thank You Father. Praise You. You are always here.

We are getting ready to pack up. Make decisions. What goes. What stays. How about good attitudes and memories go? Anything unnecessary stay behind.

Thank You Father. Again the lake is lapping the shore. Peace resonates deep within.

(11:44 a.m.)

Now sitting at the lake’s edge. Breathing deeply. Wanting so much to stay focused only on You. And Your Word. What appears to be an introduction to Psalm 16.

David speaking of Your presence. Acknowledging that our strength and security come from You alone. Knowing that You are always with him (v. 8). How I thank You Father for the blessings we have in You.

We’re going to pack up. Get ready to leave. Thank You that You are ‘the one who goes before us’ (Deuteronomy 31:8). I look to You Blessed Father ‘to be with us; [and] never fail us nor forsake us.’

Always here. Thank You. We love You. We need You. Amen.

(364 words ~ 12:14 p.m.)

H.O.W.

Thursday, June 7, 2018 (8:17 a.m.)

Tahoe Vista, CA

Most Blessed Holy God,

Thank You! You gifted me again. When sleep didn’t happen for hours on end, the urge to go out and look at the night [very early morning] sky would not be abated.

Considering the options of which warmer clothing to put on kept growing until there I was. Barefoot. Sleepwear. Long sleeved shirt. Sleeveless hoody. Very cold. And literally starstruck.

Oh, Blessed Father. 

(9:13 a.m.)

Yes. Blessed Father.

A brief interruption. Time to cuddle and learn with a four year old.

(9:24 a.m.)

More learning. And now visiting. Mm, Father. Thanks. Thanks for love. And honesty. And openness. And willingness.

Yes. Willingness. The word that came to me before 3 o’clock this morning. “the quality of being prepared to do something; readiness”.

Father, I confess to You the need for willingness. I have an unforgiveness I have been harboring for eight years. A comment was made and I took offense. I have held tightly to my “right” to feel hurt and resentful.

Now look at this… Right next to the synonyms. “CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORD See sin”. BAM! Ouch. I’ve known it. Attempted to ignore and justify my behavior through the years.

So here I am. Better late than never? Asking You to cover me with Your mercy and grace that I would in turn offer it to another.

I honestly am not there. Not on my own. But with You? All things are possible. “For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need” (Philippians 4:13).

Holy God. I confess to You the turmoil that is going on within me right now. I absolutely feel tossed from side to side. I unequivocally know that I am called to forgive.

(10:30 a.m.)

Thank You Father for the time it has taken me to struggle with this issue. Thank You for the difficulty I had in finding the verses that speak of Paul’s desire to do what is right (Romans 7:15-24).

Struggle. Yes. Absolute painful, irrefutable struggle. Tearful. Knowing I am wrong in my thinking. Desperately wanting to think, say, be and do as You wish. And at the very same time not yet willing to let go of the hurt that has since become a part of my thinking, feeling, being self.

Forgive me. Again and again I come back to asking You to forgive what I am yet unable to forgive in myself.

Pettiness. Yes. Absolute pettiness: “undue concern with trivial matters, especially of a small-minded or spiteful nature”. Yep. Me in a nutshell.

You gave me two shooting stars in a matter of minutes much earlier this morning. Such brief moments of absolute awesomeness. A deeper and darker night sky from which I am most familiar, making constellations and galaxies incredibly vivid. Again showing me how very little I know and understand about Your creation.

Of what I am absolute aware? I am called to love. You. Myself and others. With all of my heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30-31). We are told this repeatedly. Often.

Paul gave us a very clear description (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) of what love is and what it is not. Holy Spirit I need You to make it right within me (Romans 8:5-13). On my own, in my own strength and power I don’t stand a chance.

Blessed, Holy God, I come to You begging. Pleading. Asking. Replace my stubbornness with the willingness of which we spoke so much earlier.

The Message (Galatians 5:22-23) tells me, “But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard - things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.”

Yes Blessed Father. Make it so. Do all You must in, with, by, through and for me that I would be willing to truly love another as You command. I love You. I trust You. I struggle. I ask You. And I thank You. Oh most Blessed God how I thank You. Amen.

(749 words ~ 11:00 a.m.)

blessing after blessing

Wednesday, June 6, 2018 (7:42 a.m.)

Tahoe Vista, CA

Holy God,

Thank You. You continue providing us blessing after blessing. Yes. Blessing after blessing. Thank You Father.

Thank You that as I turn to Your Word, I find three psalms (21:6; 40:4; 85:12) in The Passion Translation that bring smiles to my face. Peace to my soul. Joy to my heart. Thanks Dad.

We are getting to enjoy family. Relax. Allow. Learn. Observe. And rejoice. Yes. Just look at these phrases from Oxford American Writer’s Thesaurus:

“TAKE DELIGHT IN, find/take pleasure in, feel satisfaction in, find joy in, enjoy, revel in, glory in, delight in, relish, savor”

We’ve been doing that! Knowing that You are the Maker of all things. Our Master. Creator. Oh how I thank and ask You Blessed Father.

We have another couple of days being together as a nuclear family. Work in each of us as You know is best. Bringing about Your best in, with, by, through and for us to share ourselves honestly, openly and willingly. Authentically. Genuinely. Truly.

Oh how we love You Father. And thank You for these blessings upon blessings You have bestowed upon us. Thank You Father. Thank You. We love You. Amen.

(213 words ~ 8:30 a.m.)

the Spirit of God

Tuesday, June 5, 2018 (7:41 a.m.)

Tahoe Vista, CA 

Most Blessed, Holy God,

Good morning. Sleep happened. Dreams happened. Fun had happened prior to both. And my body feels weary.

Thank You Father that I even get to tell You things like this. Yes. Thank You that I can put words to my feelings and seek Your Word to learn more.

Looking up WEARY, I find also WEAKLING. And the encouraging text of Joel 3:10. “Let the weakling say, ‘I am strong!’” Immediately ♪Let the weak say, “I am strong”. Let the poor say, “I am rich”♪ starts singing itself to me.

Quickly finding the lyrics to ♪Give Thanks with a grateful heart Give Thanks to the Holy One Give Thanks because He’s given Jesus Christ, His Son♪ reminds me of how important it is to truly give You thanks.

Oh yes Blessed Father. We do give You thanks. Weary or weak, the strength of our inner being comes directly from You. Thank You!

Thank You that reading in the Old Testament (Joel 2:28-32) I am pointed over to the New (Acts 2:16-21) and Peter’s words at Pentecost. The promise of the Spirit of God fulfilled all those centuries later. Such power. Such hope.

I very well may wake up feeling weary rather than rested. Thank You that time spent in Your Word strengthens and empowers me like nothing else.

Use me this day Blessed God. Exactly as You know is best. In Your strength. In Your power. In Your Holy Spirit.

Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(270 words ~ 8:42 a.m.)

God's power

Monday, June 4, 2018 (7:50 a.m.)

Tahoe Vista, CA

Holy, Holy God,

Thank You. Good sleep followed a very good day. Guide me in Your Word this morning that I may again have the strength and courage to glorify and enjoy You.

Yes.

And oh Your goodness. Not five minutes after asking I am reading Psalm 34. David’s words, speaking of Your power. Mm, yes. Your power.

“I will praise the LORD at all times. I will constantly speak His praises. I will boast only in the LORD; let all who are discouraged take heart. Come, let us tell of the LORD’s greatness; let us exalt His name together” (Psalm 34:1-3).

Thank You Father. The more I read in Your Word, the more I want to read. Illustrated Bible Handbook tells us that David was granted protection at a time when he had acted unwisely. Can’t we all relate to the need of Your power? Especially when we act unwisely!

That’s me. Such a large majority of the time.

What a blessing to be able take off our old manner of life (Ephesians 4:22). “And then take on an entirely new way of life - a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces His character in you” (vs. 23-24, The Message).

Mm, yes Father! You at work in us. Getting rid of the old and renewing our spirits. Thank You Father. Praise You. Bless You. Keep You.

Yes. Here again I get to read of Honesty (Ephesians 4:12-27, The Life Recovery Bible) and Living as Children of Light all because David was honest in his need of Your power. Thank You Father.

Let me use Your holy power in praising You and sharing Your Good News with others this day. Yes please. Make it so that glorifying and enjoying You would be my main goal of the day. Let all I think, say, am and do be filtered through this “chief end”. Yes Father, please.

I love You. I thank You. Let me worship and adore You as only You know is best. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(371 words ~ 8:51 a.m.)

getting back on track

Sunday, June 3, 2018 (7:32 a.m.)

Tahoe Vista, CA

Holy God,

I’ve been making a lot of mistakes. The biggest? Not taking time to be here with You. And in Your Word.

Forgive me Father. It never works out to put spending time with You at the end of the day. Or the list. Or not on the list at all.

I really kept thinking I’d find time. Silly me.

Thank You for showing me various examples of silliness in Your Word. Banter. Pretensions. Girls. Efforts. Knowledge. Empty-headed worship; god-schemes. Fools. Dreams. Five of the ten virgins. Superstitions. Charges. Talk. Stories. Criticisms.

And smack. Right there. On my head. Tears. Stunned. Sorry.

A four year old pointed it out quite simply the other night. “Are you still mad? You need to say, ‘Sorry’”.

Romans 14 The Danger of Criticism. Nonjudgmental Attitude; 14:1-13. Oh, that I would have come to You BEFORE taking my feelings of concern to a much loved one.

And You just keep piercing my soul!

Illustrated Bible Handbook. “…Paul insists we abandon judgmental attitudes and neither condemn or look down on our brothers or sisters whose convictions or practices differ from our own. Paul is terribly blunt here. Christ died and rose again so the He might be Lord (14:9). No one proclaimed you or me God. How then dare we to judge others (14:10-12)?” Ouch!

Holy God, the other day when I said, “I don’t know what to do with these feelings” I didn’t even consider bringing them to You. Forgive me.

Thank You that when I read earlier “THE BOTTOM LINE PURPOSE [for Malachi] To confront the people about getting back on track after they had relapsed into old patterns of sin” I did NOT know You were going to so directly be causing me to face mine.

Romans “14:10-12 Paul reminds us that we are not to take inventory for others. Many of us find it easier to point out the failures of others than to look critically and honestly at our own life. But it isn’t our primary responsibility to straighten out other people’s lives. We must remember that all of us will be personally accountable before God for our actions. If we spend time pointing a finger at others, we will never clean up our own act and progress in our own recovery.”

Oh, ouch again!

Malachi wrote of relapse and backsliding. External behaviors without internal changes. RECOVERY THEMES from this book remind us: “God Always Loves Us”, “Forgiveness Is Foundational for Recovery”, “God Is Always with Us”.

Most Holy God as I consider The Life Recovery Bible’s comment for “1:7-14 God did not want empty words of repentance; He wanted the people to back up their words with appropriate action.” Another stab pierces my demeanor.

Malachi, verse ten, “Why doesn’t one of you just shut the Temple doors and lock them? Then none of you can get in and play at religion with this silly, empty-headed worship. I am not pleased. The GOD-of-the-Angel-Armies is not pleased. And I don’t want any more of this so-called worship!”

Thank You for speaking with me Father. Reading in Malachi reminds me of the worship You truly want from us. Psalm 51:16-17, “Going through the motions doesn’t please You, a flawless performance is nothing to You. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice” (The Message).

Mm. Yes! All those stabs. Working to shatter my pride. That my heart-shattered life would indeed be ready for Your love.

Get me back on track Blessed God that I would truly live this day for You. Work Your forgiveness through me that I would seek not only to be forgiven, but to be willing to forgive as well.

Thank You for reminding me that loving You is the most important aspect of my being. Work in, with, by, through and for me that I would whole-heartedly, genuinely, mindfully come to loving You and others (Mark 12:30-31) as You have commanded us.

I forget. You forgive. I make mistakes. You lovingly correct and set me straight. Use me this day. Exactly asYou wish. Strong, in Your mighty power (Ephesians 6:10).

Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(741 words ~ 9:51 a.m.)

"excellent adventure" ~ 5/30/18

Wednesday, May 30, 2018 (1:46 p.m.)

Convict Lake, CA

Most Holy God ~

Over seven hours into our newest adventure and I declare it excellent. Thank You Father.

We forgot a few things. Brought too many of others. Maybe should have stopped a little sooner at the beginning. But over all? Excellent!

Thank You Father. Thank You for the safety and security of Your love. Thank You for the opportunities to explore and enjoy things You have created.

Birds tweet. Twitter. Warble. Sing. Communicate? Chipmunks skitter. Pause. Attend. Run. Fellow fishermen boat. Nod. Greet. Wish well.

Hmm. What would it be like Father? For us to communicate. Attend. Greet. Nod. Wish well. Indeed. Truly fellowship with one another. Excellent.

As I sit. Aware. Taking in Your beauty. I see various shades of green. Grays. Snow. Leaves rustling. People working. So much to admire. Of which to be aware. And again, I thank You.

Teach us Father. To appreciate. To conserve. And converse. Mm yes, Father. Keep molding and making us into the people You would have us be.