balance

Wednesday, December 22, 2010 (10:10 a.m.)

2000 Court Ave. The Yellow House

Newport Beach, CA

Mm, Most Dear and Merciful God,

Oh how I thank You Lord. How I praise You. THE single most used phrase by me so far this day has been, “Oh my God!” And each time with a gasp!

As I sit here with You this morning attempting to balance myself on a rocking yard chair while watching waves crash and practically explode with such force, I am awed by Your majesty Lord. The color of the clearing blue sky set against the gray green of the water, interspersed with the white of the clouds and the ocean’s foam has me mystified. Oh. And now there’s sunlight streaming over all.

How do You do it Lord? Not the actual step by step “And God said, ‘Let there be…’” (Genesis 1:1-2:6) detailed account of how You made it all. No, just how do You keep track of every single hair on every single head (Matthew 10:30; Luke 12:7) while all this majesty is playing out?

Yeah. I’m trying to balance myself on a chair and You, YOU, balance the entire universe! Wow! I don’t even want to wonder about it Lord. No! I just want to ♫Come let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the Lord our God, our Maker. For He is our God, and we the people of His pasture, and the sheep of His hand, just the sheep of His hand♫

Mm, God, it all just boggles my mind! From the first scent of salty sea air, to the sounds of screeching gulls I am aware of the fact that I am spending a week at the beach for the very first time in my life without my mom or my dad. And not just any week Lord. No, no. This is the week that we are to pause long enough to celebrate Your birth.

Selfishly Lord, I realize that I am preparing to ask You that rather than finding myself trying to balance anything that You would provide me the power and the strength (Ephesians 6:10) to relax and enjoy everything. Even as I search Your Word, looking for this particular verse, I am reminded that I am not called so much to relax as I am to “Be alert and always keep praying” (v.18).

That’s where I ask for the balance Lord! Balance between being alert and taking time to truly rejoice! Balance between not being afraid but instead to fully esteem and revere You. As the tears well up inside me Lord, I’m asking that You will continue working in me that I will come to ALWAYS Revere God’s Holiness no matter what the circumstance!

Thank You Lord. Thank You for knocking me just enough off balance this morning to remind me that all my faith and hope and trust needs to be in You! You, the One so perfectly described here in Isaiah 40:12. “Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand, or with the breadth of His hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance?” You Lord, that’s who!

Balance me this day Dearest Lord, for whatever it is You have for us as a family coming together for the first time without the physical presence of our beloved mom and grandma. You know the treasures and riches You want to bestow upon us. Open our hearts, our souls, our minds and our strength (Mark 12:30) to fully love and trust You to provide all for us that we in our humanness can’t possibly provide for ourselves.

I love You so much Dearest Lord. Thank You for Your balance. Amen.

(644 words ~ 11:26 a.m.)

God's goodness

Tuesday, December 21, 2010 (5:42 a.m.)

Oh Your Goodness Lord,

Your great and glorious goodness! Thank You Lord that it is because of Your goodness alone that we as a family of believers are getting to grow in Your Word.

Lord God how I thank You for being able to wake up safe and warm. Thank You that as my very early morning thoughts gave way to actually waking up, praises of Your goodness came first to mind.

While, yes, there are some very solid requests for safe traveling today, it’s Your goodness that has my rapt attention. Especially as I read of it in 2 Peter 1:3-9. “We have everything we need to live a life that pleases God. It was all given to us by God’s own power, when we learned that He had invited us to share in His wonderful goodness.”

Lord, it is indeed Your wonderful goodness that yesterday allowed me to break a lifelong pattern of shying away from the tough questions. The rains we are having are causing damage to our home and the husband is calm about it. Because of Your incredible goodness this particular time I did not let his calmness go unquestioned.

The model I grew up with had a wife who ‘freaked out’ over problems and a husband who yelled at her because of her fear. I confess Lord, over the years we have mimicked their example almost perfectly. That is until yesterday.

I felt the panic Lord. Time after time, with varying degrees of fret and concern. But this time I voiced them. Calmly. Collectively. And the husband and I prayed together numerous times throughout the day. The rain hasn’t stopped. The leaks are still here. But for the first time in my life I said straight out loud, “My dad is yelling at my mom in my head and I don’t want to get mad at you because you don’t seem to be as upset about this as I am.”

Thank You Lord. That’s You and Your goodness at work in us and through us! “God made great and marvelous promises, so that His nature would become part of us.” (v. 4a) And You are! “Then we could escape our evil desires and the corrupt influences of this world.” (4b) Thank You most dear and blessed Lord.

“Do your best to improve your faith. You can do this by adding goodness, understanding, self-control, patience, devotion to God, concern for others and love. If you keep growing in this way, it will show that what you know about our Lord Jesus Christ has made your lives useful and meaningful. But if you don’t grow you are like someone who is nearsighted or blind, and you have forgotten that your past sins are forgiven.” That’s Your goodness talking Lord! Your goodness working to change lives.

As this Christmas season continues drawing loved ones together, Lord how I ask that Your goodness and grace be ever present in our gatherings. It is the birth of Your dear and precious Son we are to celebrate. Let us remember that. Thank You Lord. Thank You for Your love, Your perfection, Your goodness. Help us use them for Your ultimate good. Amen.

(527 words ~ 6:42 a.m.)

wet

Monday, December 20, 2010 (5:35 a.m.)

Beloved, Blessed Lord,

It’s wet outside. Not just dew on the ground, couple of raindrops wet. No. It’s torrential downpour, flashflood warning kind of wet.

Lord, I confess to having grumbled yesterday about the inconvenience of a wet foot and a couple of leaky windows. Forgive me Lord. That was before I started thanking You for having a roof over our heads and all the other windows that weren’t leaking.

Watching the news last night I became horribly aware of the damage that this much-needed rain is causing for many. Forgive me Father for I am one of those of whom Jesus spoke as he hung on the cross. I am one in need of forgiveness for not knowing what I do. (Luke 23:34)

Thank You Lord for reminding me last evening that “No matter what happens” I am to “always be thankful, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18) Lord, I can’t even begin to thank You enough for all You have been doing in our lives to change us from who we once were in ourselves and who we are now becoming in You. The difference in us now compared to how we once were is paramount. And we are grateful to You for this Lord.

Now, back to speaking of the wet that’s going on outside. I’m concerned and praying to You on behalf of those who are being so hugely affected by it. There are the homeless with truly no way to stay dry. There are the shelters that are in no doubt filled to capacity. Trees are being uprooted and crashing into homes. Foundations are giving way to mud and floodwaters.

Turning in Your Word I read some of Job’s (24:8) words to You. Lord God, how I thank You for this record of his losses and his faith in You. Thank You for being a faithful God. Thank You for his example of faithfulness to You. Thank You Lord that You are just and righteousness. Thank You that You are worthy of our trust. Thank You Lord that from one minute to the next we cannot be sure of anything but Your love for us. Help us realize Lord that You are trustworthy and able to do all for us that we cannot do for ourselves.

Guide and direct us this very wet day Dearest Lord. Show us what and how to share whatever it is You would have of us. We love and thank You Lord. You are good and we are grateful. Thank You Lord. Amen.

(437 words ~ 7:09 a.m.)

unrest

Sunday, December 19, 2010 (6:22 a.m.)

Loving Lord,

Blessed Lord, Precious Lord, My Lord, Our Lord, THE Lord, thank You! Thank You for all of the unrest in my soul yesterday. Unrest that indeed led to a greater dependence on You.

Thank You Lord that in the midst of such agonizing self-examination Your Truth prevailed. You stood victorious as Lord and Master of my life. Thank You Lord for Your Word as truth that truly sets us free (John 8:32). Free of ourselves. Free from self-imposed prisons of false beliefs.

Lord, it took until very early this morning for me to realize that whatever was causing the unrest of my soul yesterday it was that I wasn’t feeling loved. In the past I have looked for ways to fill that void. Anger comes immediately to mind, because as a therapist told me many years ago “It’s easy.”

What a challenge it was for me not to turn to the addictions of my past in an attempt to bypass the pain of feeling unimportant. Thank You Lord for the struggle through which I grew just a little bit stronger.

Even as I came out here this morning expecting to go directly to Ephesians 4:15 and thanking You for another lesson in ‘speaking the truth in love’, You veered me to considering the unrest that brought me there in the first place.

Your Word is a treasure trove Lord. With the various translations and paraphrases at my disposal I get to jump in with both feet and splash around. Thank You Lord. Thank You for teaching me that there is far more to Your Word than my own interpretation of it. Thank You for the two verses that resonate with me most this morning.

The prophet Jeremiah wrote of his fruitless attempts to warn the people of Judah to turn from their sin and denial. He was faithful to You Lord despite being ignored, rejected, imprisoned and abused. Thank You for his example of faithfulness Lord. Thank You for his willingness to speak Your message to Babylon (chapter 50). “This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘The people of Israel are oppressed, and the people of Judah as well. All their captors hold them fast, refusing to let them go. Yet their Redeemer is strong; the Lord Almighty is His name. He will vigorously defend their cause so that He may bring rest to their land, but unrest to those who live in Babylon.’” (vs. 33-34 NIV)

Thank You Lord for reminders such as this of Your strength, Your might, Your vigor. Thank You as well for the ‘trouble and unrest everywhere’ You caused (2 Chronicles 15:6) that ultimately brings all of us to a point when we have to face ourselves. Thank You Lord for the courage yesterday to not turn and run away from the struggle at hand but to face it head-on. Looking again and again to You for the strength and power to ride it out.

Thank You Lord for all You are teaching us. I love You so much. Be with us again this day as we seek to do Your will. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(531 words ~ 8:32 a.m.)

another song

Saturday, December 18, 2010 (6:17 a.m.)

Blessed, Blessed Lord,

Thank You. I couldn’t get started with You. Thoughts and feelings seemed to be stalled. Focus was turned inwards. Even in attempting to ♫Turn my Eyes Upon Jesus♫ I was falling short. My desire was there, with very little follow through.

So here I am Lord. Just as I am. And what I mostly am is grateful. Not in an excited and eager to tell (agog) kind of way. No. This one is much more understated. Hesitant. Concerned.

I’ve read of the cancers of children this morning and the sadness and fear that brings into their lives and those of their loved ones. I truly feel a huge sense of guilt for even considering whining about a sore back, a stiff neck or a tiny little ache in my head. Forgive me Lord. Bless the babies. Bless their families. I can’t even imagine. I don’t want to imagine. I just ask Your peace, Your presence, Your comfort for them.

Lord, how I love You. How I thank You that every time I’ve turned around this morning there has been another song coming to mind. It started with ♫Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, In the light of His glory and grace♫ I thought for sure “Yep. That’s the one!”

But then I couldn’t get started with You so I went outside and thought I would come back in here and thank You for roses. Then I thought no I’d change that to thanking You for raindrops. It wasn’t until I was actually sitting here getting ready to join them together and thank You for raindrops on roses that I smiled after realizing it had already been done.

Of course even the thought of smiling switched my tune to that of Charlie Chaplin’s from Modern Times. And just tapping out these words I heard my mom’s threatening phrase [which I choose now to hear as a voice of encouragement J] telling me that I had better change my tune whenever I was behaving quite out of sorts.

So here I am Lord. Thanking You. Thanking You for music. Thanking You for joy. Thanking You for sorrow. Thanking You for Your plan. Thanking You for Your gifts. Thanking You for being our God and Father.

Lord, I truly can’t think of life without You. Thank You that because of Your precious Son I don’t have to (Romans 8:31-39). Thank You for Your perfect plan in this imperfect world. I love You so much. Continue Your work in me that I will become a much better follower of 1Thessalonians 5:16-18. "Always be joyful. Keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." I love You Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(482 words ~ 7:26 a.m.)

stalling

Friday, December 17, 2010 (5:50 a.m.)

Blessed God,

I don’t know how to start. I’ve been here for more than an hour. Stalling. Hmm. How about start there? Thank You Lord. With stuff stacked in the other room where I can’t reach my usual Bibles, You provide the only mention of ‘stalling’ in the translation I have available. How cool are You?

Daniel 2:8 (CEV), “The king replied, ‘You’re stalling for time

(9:10 a.m.)

Speaking of stalling for time, have I ever told You Lord how easily I fall asleep when reading history? Especially on cold, dreary early mornings?

Thank You for getting me into Your Word this morning. Thank You for whatever it is You’d have me learn from this particular section of scripture. Help me use it today to bring You honor and glory.

Wow! In just reading the introduction to the book of Daniel, I am once again amazed and eager to tell (agog!) of Your faithfulness. Here’s a young man, taken from his country and culture of origin, that stayed true to You at all times. What a positive example!

Lord, I can’t even begin to imagine possessing the kind of discipline that kept he and his friends ever faithful to You and Your will for them. How I thank You for this reminder!

As I read of ‘the capture of innocent bystanders’ and of You ‘humbling the proud’, I am so pleased to also read that there is always ‘hope for ultimate recovery’ even when there are ‘limited answers to life’s painful questions’.

The subtitles used under the Recovery Themes section are: ‘Life is Unfair’, ‘Not Victims Forever’, ‘God Can Do Anything’, ‘Pain in Recovery’. Lord, these are such vital truths to read! How I ask You to instill Your Truth in me this day.

As I prepare to go into the day, enable me to be faithful to You and Your will for me. I long to be counted as one mentioned in chapter 12, verse 3. “And those who are wise – the people of God – shall shine as brightly as the sun’s brilliance, and those who turn many to righteousness will glitter like stars forever.”

Lord God, thank You for what ever reason it was that I was stalling in coming to You this morning. Thank You for the jumpstart I needed in being able to get into Your Word this morning. Be with me as I go out to feel and be and think and do (Mark 12:30) all that You have for me this day. I love You so very much Dearest Lord. Amen.

(432 words ~ 10:14 a.m.)

Christmas music

Thursday, December 16, 2010 (5:53 a.m.)

You’re doing it again Lord,

And I’m grateful! Thank You that with the amount of Christmas music we’ve been listening to I’ve come to question some of the lyrics. Especially when they plant themselves so deeply into my subconscious.

Thank You Lord that this particular Advent season I’m paying close attention to the words of these seasonal songs. Tuned to different stations than in years past, I’m keeping a list [and checking it more than twice J] of the songs I’ve never heard before.

Even the music with which I am familiar takes on a whole new meaning when I put YOU at the focus of it. Take this morning’s first song before even opening my eyes. I distinctly remember thinking “Really God?”

After just a little bit of thought and the change of ‘tree’ to ‘me’ I almost laughed out loud with delight. ♫Oh, I’m the happiest Christmas me Ho-ho-ho, hee-hee-hee SOMEONE came and HE found me And took me home with Him♫

Blessed Lord, thank You for changing the meaning of all these songs for me this year. I noticed it first and foremost the day I started putting You name in whenever I hear that ♫We need a little JESUS Right this very minute…♫ All the other things listed in the song fall readily into place when we recognize what we need is You!

♫Oh, I’m the happiest Christmas me Ho-ho-ho, hee-hee-hee Look how pretty He dressed me Oh, lucky, lucky me♫ Lord how blessed we are that You didn’t come to just pick one of us. Not the prettiest, nor the finest. No. You came to choose us all. Save us. Each and every one.

Lord God, as the Christmas music continues this season how I ever so humbly ask that YOU would deck each of our halls that we would truly put our focus on You. As we each ever so joyfully sing ♫Oh I’m the happiest Christmas me Christmas Day, wait and see I’ll be laughing happily With a ho-ho-ho, hee-hee♫ let it truly be a deep and resounding representation of the joy that only comes from loving and being loved by You.

Thank You Lord. Thank You for Christmas music that truly points to You! I love You Lord. Use me this day exactly as You wish. Thank You. Amen.

(394 words ~ 6:55 a.m.)