"No."

Saturday, May 26, 2012 (10:25 a.m.)

Loving Father,

Thank You. Yesterday I asked for courage. This morning I saw a billboard with just one l-a-r-g-e word, “BRAVE”.

Looking up the trailer and teasers for this yet to be released Pixar film, a question is asked by the protagonist. “If you had the chance to change your fate, would you?”

There’s a lot going on inside me these days. Questions. Doubts. Fears. So I’m coming directly to YOU, asking what about myself You would have me work to change?

One small, tiny little change I made almost without noticing it. I was preparing to go and do something I really didn’t want to and instead I said, “No. You go. I’ll stay here.” Something as simple as that reminded me of my silent prayer to You much earlier this morning when I asked You to help me say, “No.”

Far too often I say yes when I think it’s what the other person wants to hear. I think it’s been quite awhile since I have examined my heart of hearts to see what is really going on inside me.

There’s a lot of disappointment. Things have not turned out as I had once expected. I remember hearing a pastor teach us fairly recently that the two biggest joy stealers are: unresolved guilt and unrealistic expectations. I long to live in the joy You have designed for us. If I had the chance to change my fate, would I? Only to the degree and direction that You lead!

I long to be joyful Dearest Father. Joy, as a byproduct of Your love. How do I begin? By being honest. At all cost. Speaking TRUTH in love. Saying, “No” when it is what needs to be said.

Work in me in this area Most Blessed One. You know my needs. You provide my every single one. Teach me the fine art of using a well timed, firm and loving, “No.” I love You so very much Most Holy, Loving God. Thank You for all You are and all You offer each and every one of us.

Grow me up in You I pray. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(362 words ~ 11:24 a.m.)