eager

Wednesday, May 23, 2012 (6:40 a.m.)

Blessed Father,

You continue teaching me. I am eager to learn. Eager? Yes. This morning I can say I am eager. Thank You for that!

I have been taking steps back. Withdrawing. Reassessing. And today I can honestly say that is exactly what I should have been doing.

The word used yesterday was 'depression'. I didn’t like, nor embrace that diagnosis. I chose 'discouraged' instead. In looking to Your Word just now, imagine my delight in finding both. Together.

Turning to DEPRESSION in my Life Recovery Bible’s topical index, I found in my own tiny printing, “Low spirits of vitality. To lower the spirits; make gloomy; sadden. To lessen in vigor, force or energy. To press or push down”. Okay. I can agree with that.

My favorite part of turning to this section? The parenthesis following the word I originally looked up: (see Discouragement). Thank You very much!

Father, You are helping me see things differently than I have in the past. You are helping me learn to trust my instincts and intuitions. And for this I am truly feeling eager, and excited. Oh my. Dare I say “agog”?

Beloved Father God, I love turning to Your Word. I love the twists and turns I take in finding nuggets of hope for our everyday life. Under the heading of DISCOURAGEMENT are listed some pretty meaty words. Perfectionism. Forgiveness. And my big brother’s favorite. Hope.

It’s all found here. In Your Word. Eager to read more about forgiveness, I turn to Romans 5:3-5 and again I smile. I get to keep being reminded that Faith Brings Joy. Maybe I have a tendency to forget this important truth. “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us – they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady. Then, when that happens, we are able to hold our heads high no matter what happens and know that all is well, for we know how dearly God loves us, and we feel this warm love everywhere within us because God has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love.”

How incredibly wonderful is that! Blessed, Beloved Father, thank You. At JUST the right time You would remind me that when all is said and done, “There are three things that remain – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love” (1Corinthians 13:13).

Do exactly what You will with me. Teach me. Guide me. Help me learn to follow You better than I do. There’s an issue with trusting my own instincts that I am truly asking You to settle for me. Keep working in and through me. Make and mold me into the woman You originally created me to be. Whatever that looks like. I am eager to get to know You (and me!) better.

And just when I thought I was done here I read one last paragraph from the section on Repeated Forgiveness. “Learning to wait patiently is an important characteristic for us to develop. Each time we admit wrong and accept God’s forgiveness, our hope and faith have a chance to be exercised and grow stronger. We no longer have to hide in shame every time we slip. We can admit our wrongs and move on. God’s love is reaffirmed every time we rely on it. In this way, God helps us to hold our heads high no matter what happens.”

Thank You Father. For Your love. And peace. And joy. Thank You for Your forgiveness. Your patience. And the faith and hope we glean from trusting You. Yes. Eager. It’s a good word to describe me today.

Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(656 words ~ 7:46 a.m.)