just honest

Saturday, March 14, 2015 (7:19 a.m.)

Holy Father,

I sit here with nothing to say.

♫Praise Him!♫ Yes. I did wake up singing ♫Praise God from whom all blessings flow...♫ And my very first spoken words were, “Oh my God!” What looked like fire in the sky was jaw-droppingly beautiful.

Blessed Father, thank You that You allow me to ramble with You. My thoughts don't have to be perfect. Just honest.

“Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense His grace” (Matthew 6:6 The Message).

Mm. Quiet. Secluded. Not role-playing. “Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage.” And in doing so it still comes back to me saying to You once again, “I miss my Mom!” I really, truly miss my Mom!

So with that said, as simply and honestly as I can manage, it's as though the dam burst. All the tears I've been holding back are falling. Streaming. Pooling. Thank You Father. Thank You that I don't have to have a script with You. Thank You that I just get to be honest. Thank You.

Thank You that as I wait to sense Your grace, I get to look and read and search and wait some more. Mm, wait. I'm good at waiting. Maybe too good at times. But good all the same.Thank You Father for making me who You want me to be.

Thank You that I get to turn to You. Look for You. Trust in You. Count on You. And truly believe You to be my Shepherd (Psalm 23). The One who will guide and support me all the days of my life. Thank You that verse six of this Psalm reminds me of my Mom every single time.

“Surely Your goodness and love will be with me all my life. And I will live in the house of the Lord forever” (ICB – International Children's Bible). Even better. Of all the translations and paraphrases I've read of this verse this morning, how appropriate that it would be a children's Bible that spoke loudest to me.

Father, thank You for the tremendous ways You have of caring for us. Right down to the smallest detail. Empower and enable me to serve You well this day. Bless me and keep me to the task of loving You and others as You desire. With all of my heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30-31).

I'm saying it again. I miss my Mom! But oh how I thank and praise You for the privilege of having been loved by her. Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(471 words ~ 8:31 a.m.)