crazy!

Monday, July 2, 2012 (6:54 a.m.)

Wonderful, Marvelous, Most Amazing God,

Thank You. You are good. And I feel crazy! There are so many thoughts clamoring around in my head for attention. We have decisions to make and things to do. Yet I continue stalling and putting it all off.

(9:12 a.m.)

And somewhere right in the middle of singing about feeling crazy, a phone call interrupted it all.

Father God, I’m asking You to direct my thoughts and my energy this day. Separate the wheat from the chaff for me. Show me how to focus on the things of substance, not the ones that will blow away in the wind.

There are things that NEED to be done. Some that should and some that can absolutely wait ‘til later. At this point of my crazy feeling brain, I am unable to discern them.

I’m dealing with an extremely immature “so what” attitude. I’m looking to You to change it for me. This is where I’m at right now… EVERYTHING seems doable. I can jump right in and get started! Truth is, I’ll fizzle out and accomplish little. In YOU I can trust and depend. In YOU I have my strength. I don’t have to think or feel crazy.

And here is where I absolutely laugh out loud while saying again, “God is good. God is SO good!!”

Father, thank You. Thank You that with You I get to ramble and wonder and do a little ranting. I get to follow one verse (Galatians 3:1-4 MSG) to another (Luke 22:31-32 MSG), all the while wondering how it’s ever going to tie together.

Sitting here with it all jumbled in front of me I continue shaking my head. Only now I’m smiling while I do it. I started out talking to You about feeling a little crazy. I zoomed out of the house on a completely unexpected, immediate errand. Took care of a ‘need to be done’ and asked You in a sense to order my day (wheat and chaff).

With all that in place, the truth that “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it” came to mind. Looking up and finding the verse to be Philippians 1:6 I started reading the devotion about Perseverance in The Life Recovery Bible. It tells how sometimes we might feel like giving up the struggle. We try only to fail. Taking steps forward and falling backward. There’s a sense of condemnation, followed by fear. “At times there are so many difficulties, so many issues to work through, so many patterns in our life that have to be changed that we begin to feel….” [wait for it J] “… like we are going crazy”!

Father God, THANK YOU! Thank You that as I continue reading, the last paragraph speaks loudly to me. “When we feel like we are going crazy and don’t think that we can handle life, God is there. He is determined not to give up on us. We can rely on His persistent love. God has promised to keep working on us until we are whole. There will still be crazy times, but with His help we can handle life, one day at a time.”

Thank You. Thank You for loving me. Which brings me all the way back to that song I was telling You about.

♫Crazy, I’m crazy for feeling so lonely. I’m crazy, crazy for feeling so blue. I knew You’d love me as long as You wanted♫ [which I KNOW is forever! J] And this is where I have to change the words because I KNOW You’d N-E-V-E-R ‘leave me for somebody new’!

♫Worry, why do I let myself worry? Wond’ring what in the world will I do? Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you♫ And that is entirely true, because I know for a fact that it’s YOUR love that holds me!

♫I’m crazy for trying and crazy for crying And I’m crazy for DOUBTING You♫ Father God, I trust and believe Your Word. It is to YOU that I look and ASK that You would accomplish through me this day exactly what YOU want. I love You so incredibly much and I thank You even more! Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Amen.

(718 words ~ 10:15 a.m.)