trusting

Tuesday, July 5, 2011 (6:18 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Thank You. Thank You for celebrations. Thank You for friends. Thank You for things we don’t want to talk about but do anyway. Yes Lord, thank You for working in us along the vein of that fine art of communication.

Wow Lord. Talk about old patterns and things that no longer serve us well at all. You are at work here Lord. I know because it is uncomfortable. At first, the attacks against my soul were feeling fairly ‘normal’. Doubts. Fears. Misunderstandings. Things I’ve grown accustomed to. Oh, but they have escalated. Now we’re pitting ourselves against one another.

I have been overreacting and extremely sensitive in the simplest situations. Concerns about my mental and emotional health have been expressed. And in all this I am trusting You Lord. It’s a conscience decision I am making. Never have I relied so heavily on the simple truth that You are good. All the time. All the time. You are good!

Thank You Lord. Thank You that I get to know this. I have no answers to the sensitivities I have been experiencing other than to say You are at work in me. Changing me. Deep in my core. And I truly believe that You will prevail.

I also believe that satan is not the least bit pleased about the work You are doing and is out to stop it at all costs. Sidetrack me. Throw in some added chaos, crisis and confusion. But again, You are good! In the midst of all of it yesterday I reaffirmed Your goodness. No longer do I feel the need to understand You and the whys and wherefores of Your workings in us. No Sir. I can claim the truth of which the pastor spoke on Sunday. I am On the Anvil (Max Lucado) and You are working mightily to hammer me into something acceptable.

Keep working Lord. Keep pounding and flattening and squashing out all the impurities You find in me. Always in the past I wanted to avoid such workings. Today I am here in Your name thanking and praising You instead. I can honestly say that I do NOT know what tomorrow [or even the very next moment J] holds, but I do know that YOU hold it! Thank You Lord.

Last night in desperation I prayed the truth of Romans 8:26. And just this very moment while reading I looked up at the two verses directly above it. “We are saved by trusting. And trusting means looking forward to something we don’t yet have – for a man who already has something doesn’t need to hope and trust that he will get it. But if we must keep trusting God for something that hasn’t happened yet, it teaches us to wait patiently and confidently.” (24-25)

Yes Lord. I am trusting You. Believing with my whole heart that You know what is best. Thank You Lord for the peace and the hope and the faith that comes from trusting.

And just like that verse 26 begins, “And in the same way – by our faith – the Holy Spirit helps us with our daily problems and in our praying. For we don’t even know what we should pray for nor how to pray as we should, but the Holy Spirit prays for us with such feeling that it cannot be expressed in words.” Oh yes Dearest Lord. You provide our every need. Keep me trusting You.

Concluding now with verses 27 and 28, I am asking, believing and trusting that You will indeed be the God of Your Word. “And the Father who knows all hearts knows, of course, what the Spirit is saying as He pleads for us in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that all that happens to us is working for our good if we love God and are fitting into His plans.”

Yes Lord. Fit me exactly into Your plans. The plans You know You have for us. The ones You had Jeremiah express in what became his book, chapter 29:11-13. “They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. You will find me when you seek me, if you look for me in earnest.”

I am looking Lord. And trusting. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(734 words ~ 8:09 a.m.)