You raised me better than this!

Monday, July 1, 2013 (7:10 a.m.)

Holy God,

I love You. I want desperately to get past this ridiculous bit of grudge holding I'm doing. It reminds me so very much of cutting off one's nose to spite the face. I seem to be going from bad to worse here.

A feeling got hurt. There was some frustration. Communication became ineffective. Reminders of grace were replaced by an air of civility. Yuck! It all reeks to high heaven. And even that hasn't jolted me back to better behavior.

So where do I go? Where I started to come last night. To You. Blessed Father, You raised me better than this! You truly brought me From Death to New Life (Ephesians 2:1-10). And I keep slipping back to old behaviors.

My feelings get hurt. I start building a defense for myself in my mind. I hold tightly to grievances, be they real or just perceived. I won't let go of the hurt. I feel wronged and I just don't want to take it anymore. Is this more than a mere miscommunication? Or is it really just as easy as letting go and letting You be God?

Yeah. I like that I idea! In my own strength and power I've tried to set things straight. Intellectually I know what You would have me do. Forgive. Trust You. Offer grace. Every single time I am unable to do what You have raised me to know is the better way, I have the choice of allowing Your Holy Spirit to work through me to Your end.

Forgive me Dearest Father for once again squelching Your call to what You have raised me to. 1Thessalonians 5:19 says, “Do not smother the Holy Spirit.” Far too readily and easily I do exactly that. Time and time again. Father, I love You. Forgive me.

Paul wrote to the people of Ephesus to strengthen their relationships with You and with each other. We need that right now Dearest God. You are so rich in mercy (Ephesians 2:4). You love us so much. You raised us up with You and seated us with You in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus (v. 6). This is something I cannot continue taking lightly.

Forgive me I pray. I love You. Empower me to trust and serve You far better than I do. Truly, You raised me better than this! Amen.

(398 words ~ 8:19 a.m.)