dependent

Thursday, June 30, 2011 (7:25 a.m.)

Blessed Father God,

I love You so much. Thank You for the opportunity to be loved by You. To think of my life without You and all that You are and all that You do for each of us is beyond my comprehension. I think of the life I was living, who I was becoming before I finally confessed my need for You and I still shudder. Lord God, thank You for saving me from my own delusions of grandeur!

Once upon a time I really truly DID think I had all the answers. I just knew what was best for everybody and everything. I was so sure of myself and my own opinion that I never even waited to be asked before jumping right in and advising others on who and what and how to run their lives. Thanks for letting that all blow up in my face so spectacularly.

Left with messes of my own making I look to You still saying, “Thank You, Lord.” Without You, I would be on my own. Working myself up into a dither. To be able to look to You, knowing, believing, trusting that I am loved by the Master, Creator of the universe is hope I could have no other way. Thank You Lord.

Thank You that You love not only me but every single one of Your creations. You don’t play favorites. You are the perfect Parent. You know exactly what our needs are and precisely how to provide them. I confess to wanting more than my fair share. Too often I whine and complain to You about my perceived unfairness of certain situations. Thank You Lord that even in this I can turn back to You again confessing, “Oops! Please forgive me.”

Too many times I have gone off half-cocked. Not knowing what I thought I knew. There is so much peace and yes, even joy to be found in just laying myself bare before You. Thank You Lord for every single time I have jumped to wrong conclusions and You have forgiven me. Thank You for the absolutely dependent woman You are growing me into. Dependent Lord. Yes. Utterly, completely, absolutely dependent on You!

It took me quite a bit of looking. I didn’t find it in songs I was thinking of. Nor in the usual translations I use. But there in the Holman Christian Standard Bible Isaiah 26:3 says it perfectly for me, “You will keep in perfect peace the mind [that is] dependent [on You], for it is trusting in You.” That is ABSOLUTELY it in a nutshell.

Lord, I am nothing without You! On my own I create chaos. Crisis. Confusion. With You, in You, through You I have perfect peace. Things may not look the way I would want them, but every single time I surrender to Your will, to Your way I am flooded by Your perfect peace.

The only answer I have for anything is You! I don’t even know how to effectively share this truth with others. But I am trusting and asking that You would make me able. In ways that I cannot even begin to imagine, teach me how to share the glory and the strength that is found ONLY in being completely dependent on You.

Lord God, I love You so very much. And I am so grateful to be Your child. Your daughter. How I ask that it may come to be that I am considered by You a woman after Your own heart. I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(599 words ~ 8:21 a.m.)