struggling

Tuesday, June 22, 2010 (8:51 a.m.)

Loving Lord,

Thank You. I confess my mind and my heart aren’t here with You right now. It’s not that I’m thinking of anything pressing. Just not You.

I don’t like the sound of that at all. Thank You that I get to be honest with You Lord. Thank You that I don’t have to just go through the motions, which I very easily could have done. Thank You that instead of attempting to just say the ‘right’ things and check time with You off my list, I’m struggling here.

Thank You Lord, that I never have to struggle alone.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010 (9:16 a.m.)

Buffalo Bill’s Casino Room #109B Primm, NV

Thank You. Praise You.

Finally I am here to let the praise begin, in the most unexpected way ~ and absolutely because of struggling. Lord, thank You for the struggle that Terry and I are currently having in our communication skills. We both know what we want the other one to understand, but not the faintest idea how to make that happen.

Thank You for this Lord. The misunderstanding part is nothing new to us, but the doing it without being angry at each other is. Thank You Lord.

Thank You that something as small as a miss chosen choice of conversation could alter the course of our little get away time together in such a huge way. Thank You that a thing as tiny as a simple question in the hallway right before leaving the house could make such a big impact on our hearts and our attitudes.

Thank You Lord that I’m not budging on this one. I believe that throughout the years I have developed the habit of hearing the tone of another’s irritation and either answering in like manner or caving to the fear of what might follow. This time here I am able to stand firm in Your Truth! “Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out.” (1Corinthians 13:5-6)

Oh and would You just look at me being quite the smug one! Just when I was ready to play the “See? That’s what I’ve been trying to say” card, I come to verse seven in The Living Bible. “If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.” Oops! Not quite there yet Lord.

See what I’m saying about struggling? I still have so much more to learn. And like I said yesterday, “Thank You that I don’t ever have to struggle alone.” You are right here with me. You want so much for us to live a life of Your love. Thank You Lord. Thank You that You love us so much that You sent Your Son that we would truly understand what it means that “the greatest love is shown when a person lays down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

Lord God, thank You for the struggling that goes on within me that proves that I still have so much more to learn. ♫I love You for the cross…♫ Thank You. Amen.

(567 words ~ 10:05 a.m.)