tears

Wednesday, October 7, 2009 (10:24 p.m.)

So, God,

Here I am. I could have come here with You at least ten hours ago, but oh no. I wanted to avoid that. I thought maybe I could read about having a closer relationship with You and that would help. Yeah. You’re right. It didn’t!

There’s nothing quite like bringing my mistakes to the foot of Your cross to get the tears flowing. Forgive me God for taking a simple glitch in communication and turning it into something major.

Forgive me Father for not taking the higher (to You!) road sooner and coming right out and saying to You, “I’m in over my head here Lord. I’ve made another mess. I could sure use Your help.” Bottom line here God, there’s discord in the household and I contributed to it and I don’t know the ‘healthy’ way to heal and grow from it.

Thank You Lord that in doing just that I found the verses in Proverbs that I have been thinking about. Chapter 11, verse 17, “Your soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.” 12:18, “Some people like to make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise soothe and heal.” 12:25, “Anxious hearts are very heavy, but a word of encouragement does wonders!”

Proverbs 14:29, “A wise man controls his temper. He knows that anger causes mistakes.” Chapter 15, verse 1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words cause quarrels.” And verse four, “Gentle words cause life and health; griping brings discouragement.”

Lord, You are good. You are honorable. You are holy. And You deserve so much better from me. Forgive my actions here Lord. They haven’t been kind or loving. I confess to You that I don’t know how to respond appropriately to unkind words and harsh tones. I subconsciously prepare myself for battle and too often follow through with that tactic. I often feel myself stiffening as I consciously pretend to be tougher than I actually am.

Lord, how I ask You to help me be pliable here. Teach me Lord to respond to awkward and uncomfortable situations lovingly, kindly and with Your truth. I no longer want to be afraid to speak my mind. Help me do it filtered through You!

I love You so much Dear Lord. Thank You for allowing me to bring this to You, albeit much later than sooner! Perhaps I could get some restful sleep tonight?

I love You Lord. Amen.

(417 words ~ 11:16 p.m.)