joy

Saturday, October 3, 2009 (7:14 a.m.)

Loving Lord,

Perfect Provider. Blessed Benefactor. Just and Joyful Jesus,

(8:47 a.m.)

Once again I look to You and ask You to keep me focused here. And amidst the asking, I am thanking as well.

Upon awakening, MY plan was to bring my present lack of patience before You. Now, instead, I ask You to speak to me about joy. Mine seems to keep getting misplaced these days, Oh Lord.

Sure, I still get glimpses of it. I play. I laugh. I catch myself having joyful moments. But then the reality of all the grown up stuff there is to do sets in and I recognize resentment far more readily than joy. Senses of overwhelm become apparent and I give in to feelings of dejection rather than rejoicing.

Work with me here Lord. Exactly where I am. Treading my way through the clutter of new rules and responsibilities. Lord, thank You that I get to keep speaking my heart to You. Thank You that I don’t have to try to hide my hideousness from You. Thank You for knowing and loving me despite my flaws and imperfections.

Now, I gut wrenchingly ask You to help me Lord. Enable and empower me to love and accept myself as joyfully and freely as You do!

I’ve stood for the longest time believing things about myself that did not withstand the fiery tests of faith (1Peter 1:7). I continue wavering back and forth as I examine things I thought to be true only to discard them as broken or distorted facsimiles.

Lord! Thank You that YOU are truth! Thank You that when I remember to “turn my eyes upon Jesus, looking full in His wonderful face, the things of earth grow strangely dim In the light of Your glory and grace.”

Lord, thank You that through all the twists and turns of these past several years, I am becoming less of who I thought I was and more of the woman You originally designed me to be. Keep me focusing on You and YOUR way dear Lord. My faulty understanding of where I was going and how I was getting there has not served me well. ‘Teach me to number my days and recognize how few they are; help me to spend them as I should’ (Psalm 90:12).

That is my prayer to You this morning Dearest Lord, that in looking to and following You, YOUR joy would be made complete in and through me.

Thank You for the humbling You have been doing in me. Thank You for Your Truth that has been burning off the deceptions I have so blindly and readily believed all these years. Thank You for Your love for each of us, love that is produced as the fruit of Your Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22) – followed immediately by ‘joy’.

Lord, I love You. I thank You. And I humbly ask You to joyfully order my day to Your good. It’s in Your most Holy name I pray. Amen.

(507 words ~ 12:02 p.m.)