idleness

Saturday, July 17, 2010 (7:08 a.m.)

Good morning Lord,

I confess to feeling hot, cross and cranky. Not the best way to approach the Creator of the Universe. Forgive me Lord. I have taken the wide road the last few days. The road Matthew spoke of (7:13) that leads to destruction and is easy to follow.

I know better. It’s far too easy to become so lazy Lord. I struggle with that balance of trying to do too much or doing far too little. I am here before You this morning asking You to provide Your perfect will for me. Not my own understanding of it. Put me in tune with what it is that You would have me do. Let me be fully aware of the difference between appropriate rest and idleness.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010 (7:26 a.m.)

Now I’m feeling a little confused Lord. After a few days interruption and 24 hours of not feeling good at all, I had some time of feeling much better. Only to be followed by not feeling good again.

I don’t want to complain. I’m just wondering what is going on with this whole not feeling well aspect.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010 (8:23 a.m.)

I’m trying again, Lord. Yesterday I woke up feeling excited to have been singing ♫Lord of Lords♫ (which turned out to be ♫King of Kings♫) before I had even opened my eyes. This morning it was some nondescript ‘pop’ song that I don’t even remember. Now that I’m far more awake ♫I’m longing to pour out my heart To say that I love You Pour out my heart To say that I need You Pour out my heart To say that I’m thankful Pour out my heart To say that You’re wonderful♫ ABSOLUTELY fits the bill!

Lord, I am so very thankful to You! Still not understanding what’s going on with me physically. Is it the weather? Is there stress with which I am not dealing? Is it as I first began this? That I don’t know the difference between appropriate rest and idleness?

Blessed Lord. Thank You that You are the God of all! Thank You that You are good and merciful. Thank You for the blessings You continue to bestow upon us.

As I search Your Word for a better understanding of Your best for me, I come to two different verses. In verse 27 of describing the Proverbs 31 woman, we are told, “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” I guarantee we are NOT discussing me here! 2 Thessalonians 3:6 warns, “And now dear brothers and sisters, we give you this command with the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ: Stay away from any Christian who lives in idleness and doesn’t follow the tradition of hard work we gave you.”

It is not my intent Dearest Lord to take these two verses out of their proper context and try to ‘make’ them work for me here. I understand by the commentaries and articles written about them that they were written in a different time with an altogether separate set of circumstances. Where I come to You is in asking that YOU would show me truly what is idleness? And what constitutes appropriate rest? What are the time wasters You would have me stay away from? And what exactly is it that You would encourage me to continue in making mine a fruitful life. The life that is depicted in Galatians 5:22, 23 when the Holy Spirit controls it and produces “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” where “there is no conflict with Jewish laws.”

Lord, I confess the conflict I face is with the laws of unrealistic expectations that I have come to place on myself through the years. How I ask that You make me fully ready, willing and able to stand up to the pressures I place on myself and allow me to live the life that YOU have provided me, instead of the one in my mind. I struggle. I withdraw. I move ahead. I fall behind. Oh, but the joy that is truly found in realizing that I get to bring all of this to You as I ♫Pour out my heart To say that I love You Pour out my heart To say that I need You Pour out my heart To say that I’m thankful Pour out my heart To say that You’re wonderful♫

Thank You Lord for being wonderful! Thank You for the blessings and the gifts and the challenges and the struggles. Thank You for loving each of us, making us able to love You in return. Thank You for the plans You have for us. “Plans for good and not for evil. Plans to give us a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Thank You Lord. Enable and empower me to use this day to Your good and Your glory. WHATEVER it may hold, may I please remember to pour out my heart to You. I love You so very much. Thank You. Amen.

(853 words ~ 10:06 a.m.)