Amazing!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 (7:06 a.m.)

Amazing!

Amazing God. Amazing Love. Amazing Grace! Thank You Lord that You are so amazing!

No sooner had I confessed the hurts of my heart and my soul yesterday did I recognize that I felt no hunger. I didn’t eat until later in the afternoon when I DID experience it and then I was aware of making healthier choices. Lord God, thank You!

Thank You that as the evening progressed and there was a seemingly ‘safe’ opportunity, I attempted to lovingly express myself about a decision that had been made during the day. All did not go well. Verbal tones became course. Body language changed and eye contact was lost. You kept me calm. I continued my attempt. Some headway was made, only to have my frustration level reach its peak. Right there in the midst of a potential meltdown of old behaviors, I made a decision. I chose life (Deuteronomy 30:19) and went for a walk!

Thank You God! Thank You for the presence of mind to recognize the late evening hour. I changed my clothes to weather and walking appropriateness. I stayed under streetlights and near a large group of people – a lively Vacation Bible School, which helped me smile and relax a bit. I admit the large, charging, barking dog was not to my liking. My decision to stay a great distance away helped. As did my choice to cut the walk shorter than anticipated.

Lord, thank You for my further attempt to resolve my part of the situation. Thank You for the courage to make a needed phone call and the joy that came from it. Thank You also for the inability to make further progress and the inner struggle that ensued as a direct result. Thank You for the gentle refusal of offered chocolate cake and the decision many hours later (when sleep still had not happened) to hold true to that choice.

Lord. You are so good, so ready to help. Even as I type this I recognize my propensity to behave in a certain way today. I could hide my heart and feelings behind a veil of hurt. I don’t want to! I want my heart, mind and soul to continue singing loudly the song that broke through my thoughts at 4:43 this morning. ♫My chains are gone I’ve been set free My God, my Savior has ransomed me And like a flood His mercy rains Unending love, Amazing Grace♫

Even as I sing these words Dear Lord, I recognize my tendency to cower behind not caring. I’ve been looking passed things around here because of the commitment level it takes to work on them. Some subliminal messaging is being attempted through my inactions I am sure. Rather than attempt to justify them in the slightest, I give them wholeheartedly to You. Lord, I ask that You would take my “I don’t care” attitude and replace it with one that does! My chains ARE gone. Help me use my freedom wisely, to make healthier choices, to choose life! I love You Lord. Thank You for all You are and all You do in and through each of us. Amen.

(527 words ~ 7:48 a.m.)

obstinate

Tuesday, June 29, 2010 (5:58 a.m.)

Loving Lord,

How I thank You for bringing the word ‘obstinate’ to my mind earlier. Not my finest resemblance. “Obstinate implies sticking persistently to an opinion, purpose, or course of action, especially in the face of persuasion or attack”.

I sit here with the slightest beginning of a smile on my face because once again I see myself being described in Your Word. Nehemiah 9:29, “You warned them to return to Your law, but they became proud and obstinate and disobeyed Your commands. They did not follow Your regulations, by which people will find life if only they obey. They stubbornly turned their backs on You and refused to listen.” Well that certainly looks familiar!

Lord, I know what I need to do! You have repeatedly shown me Your mercy and loving kindness, but I continue to slide further away. An interesting question just formed itself in asking, is it that I slide? Or do I intentionally turn and go in the opposite direction of Your best for me?

Verse 28 repeats the description of the pattern of Your people of Israel. “But when they [people of Israel] were at peace, they would turn against You, and You would hand them over to their enemies. Then they would beg for help, and because You are merciful, You rescued them over and over again.” This is a cycle I continue dabbling in.

Countless hours of sitting and mindlessly watching television instead of getting up and doing some form of exercise, sleeping in later and later each day rather than coming straight out to You in the mornings, randomly eating any and everything I can think to put into my mouth all lead me further and further away from Your best for me.

Lord, I confess to once again getting caught in the downward spiral of ‘I don’t care. What difference does it make?’ Thank You for never turning Your back on me. Thank You that “You are always fair when You punished us for our sins” (v. 33). How I ask that You would once again set me on the path You would have me choose!

Turning to Psalm 25:12, I go then to read the enter chapter. Following the side notes I turn to Psalm 1 and read in the margin, “The Hebrew word for ‘Law’ means ‘teaching’. Blessings and happiness [also described further in their own mini-articles] come from being constantly open to God’s ‘teaching’.”

Lord, how I ask that You would empower and embolden me with every single ounce of strength I need to begin again to make healthier choices. I love You so much Dearest Lord. Take me from being obstinate to once again being eager and excited to tell others of Your love! I do love You so much. And I long to obey and worship You. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(484 words ~ 7:06 a.m.)

think

Sunday, June 27, 2010 (7:13 a.m.)

Lord God,

I am looking to You. Asking that You would make me happy. I know. It sounds so selfish. Truth is. I think it’s what I want.

Hmm. Think. Now there’s a word! How often is it that we think we know what it is we want or need. We may even pursue it. Sometimes wholeheartedly. Only to find out that once again we were in error.

Lord, I am feeling at the end of my rope! I have made so many mistakes. Thought I knew what I was doing. Thought I was lining myself up with You and Your best for me. Now I find myself wondering and wandering aimlessly again. Afraid. Not wanting to waste more time. Making more mistakes.

Thank You Lord that I get to come before You confessing all the thoughts my thinking gets me. Asking that You would delete the garbage I’ve taken in. Begging You Lord to reboot my operating system. Yes Lord! “Start and put [ME!] in a state of readiness for operation”

What would it even look like for me to be ‘in a state of readiness for operation’? How desperately I’d like to find out! I love You so much. Yet I have absolutely NOT being living like I do.

Blessed Lord, how I thank You for the way You speak to me - ESPECIALLY when I am hell-bent on avoiding You! Waking up and thinking that I want to be happy was just the tip of me trying to gather my thoughts. First I started out with the tune from I Love the Flower Girl. You know the one. ♫Flowers in her hair, flowers everywhere And I knew (I knew, I knew, I knew, I knew) she could make me happy♫

Almost immediately I went to singing Matthew 6:33 instead. ♫Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness And all these things shall be added unto you Allelu, Alleluia♫ and thinking of the beatitudes.

Lord, I confess to feeling much like a pinball machine this morning. Bouncing from one thought to the next, looking to tilt at any moment. Rather than continuing to think, Lord, what if I just ‘Be still and know that You are God’ (Psalm 46:10)?

Perhaps letting go of my thoughts of wanting to make everybody else happy could release me to let You do Your job. I confess to feeling a lot of angst these days Lord. And You know what? Since it’s truly what I have, I offer it all unto You! Instead of continuing to hold it and try to make it go away on my own. I give it to You. It’s Yours to bless or curse or do what You will. I don’t want it. I don’t need it. YOU are what I want! YOU are what I need! YOU are what I will hold onto!

Thank You Lord. Thank You for blessing me and keeping me and making Your face shine upon me and giving me peace (Number 6:24-26). Take this day Lord and use me in it for Your good and Your glory. Please keep my thinking out of Your way! I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(538 words ~ 8:35 a.m.)

expectations

Friday, June 25, 2010 (8:11 a.m.)

Good Morning Lord,

Would You talk to me this morning about expectations? Mine seem to be way too high and perhaps a bit unrealistic. With that said, let me confess to the sadness I am experiencing because of them being unmet.

Lord, thank You that I get to be this honest with You. Thank You that whatever it is I am feeling, I get to share it with You. Hmm. Could it be that once again I’ve been putting my hopes, dreams, expectations in people, places, things and not in You? That seems about right.

Thank You that I don’t have to stay stuck in messes of my own making. Thank You that I get to turn to Your Word. Once again I find myself in the Book of Isaiah (beginning at 64:3) jumping back and forth between warnings of judgment and Your message of hope.

With tears ready to stream down my face, I have my mouth set tightly to hold them at bay. This is all too close for my comfort level. Lord, I feel lost. Sad. Afraid. Alone. These are all just feelings. Not truths set in stone. They ebb and flow and change. And for that I am immensely grateful Lord.

You don’t change. My expectations, for myself and others, can be completely out of whack. Those can be lowered. Altered. Changed. Completely discarded. But You? Never! Your Truth stands firm. You are where I want to put my hope. You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever! Mm. Yes Lord!

♫Whom have I in heaven but You? There is nothing on earth I desire beside You My heart and my strength many times they fail But there is one truth that always will prevail God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever♫ (Psalm 73:26)

Teach me to put all my expectations in You Dear Lord! Help me trust and fully depend on You and Your Word. I love You so much Dear Lord. Thank You for all You are and all You do. Amen.

(340 words)

spoiled

Thursday, June 24, 2010 (8:51 a.m.)

Buffalo Bill’s Casino Room #109B Primm, NV

Blessed Lord,

You are good. And I think I am spoiled. Indeed! An offshoot of the definition ‘harm the character of (a child) by being too lenient or indulgent’ is ‘treat with great or excessive kindness, consideration, or generosity’. Wow! Yes. Spoiled!

Spoiled by a husband that truly tries to give me all that my heart desires, starting with fresh coffee on most days. Lord, I don’t want to be unruly. That’s why I am so grateful that I have You and Your Word to turn to over and over through the course of any given day.

Lord, thank You that soon after awakening this morning a Huey Lewis song came to mind that made me think of you. ♫The Power of Love♫ Yep! That’s You in a nutshell!

Looking for a verse that speaks of being spoiled, I came across Peter’s first letter to the Jewish Christians being persecuted for their faith and a Young Rascals song posed the question I think Peter’s audition might well have asked. ♫How Can I Be Sure? In a world that’s constantly changing? How can I be sure? I’ll be sure with You♫

Lord God, how I thank You that we get to be sure with You! Peter’s letter is filled with promises. Chapter one, verses four and five declare, “And God has reserved for His children the priceless gift of eternal life; it is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay [that can never perish, spoil or fade]. And God, in His mighty power, will make sure that you get there safely to receive it because you are trusting Him. It will be yours in that coming day for all to see.”

Oh Your goodness Lord! Verse six, “So be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though the going is rough for a while down here.” And then he goes on to tell us, “These trials are only to test your faith, to see whether or not it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests gold and purifies it – and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold; so if your faith remains strong after being tried in the test tube of fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day of his return” (v.7).

Dearest Lord. I continue reading this letter, agreeing with each new chapter and verse. Pointing out, yes! This is how I want to be. Loving, healthy, honest. How I ask You Dearest Lord to make it so. I don’t want to be spoiled. Indulged. Unruly. I long to be precious. Loved. Yours! Make it so Dearest Lord. Make me so!

I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(473 words ~ 10:26 a.m.)

struggling

Tuesday, June 22, 2010 (8:51 a.m.)

Loving Lord,

Thank You. I confess my mind and my heart aren’t here with You right now. It’s not that I’m thinking of anything pressing. Just not You.

I don’t like the sound of that at all. Thank You that I get to be honest with You Lord. Thank You that I don’t have to just go through the motions, which I very easily could have done. Thank You that instead of attempting to just say the ‘right’ things and check time with You off my list, I’m struggling here.

Thank You Lord, that I never have to struggle alone.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010 (9:16 a.m.)

Buffalo Bill’s Casino Room #109B Primm, NV

Thank You. Praise You.

Finally I am here to let the praise begin, in the most unexpected way ~ and absolutely because of struggling. Lord, thank You for the struggle that Terry and I are currently having in our communication skills. We both know what we want the other one to understand, but not the faintest idea how to make that happen.

Thank You for this Lord. The misunderstanding part is nothing new to us, but the doing it without being angry at each other is. Thank You Lord.

Thank You that something as small as a miss chosen choice of conversation could alter the course of our little get away time together in such a huge way. Thank You that a thing as tiny as a simple question in the hallway right before leaving the house could make such a big impact on our hearts and our attitudes.

Thank You Lord that I’m not budging on this one. I believe that throughout the years I have developed the habit of hearing the tone of another’s irritation and either answering in like manner or caving to the fear of what might follow. This time here I am able to stand firm in Your Truth! “Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out.” (1Corinthians 13:5-6)

Oh and would You just look at me being quite the smug one! Just when I was ready to play the “See? That’s what I’ve been trying to say” card, I come to verse seven in The Living Bible. “If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.” Oops! Not quite there yet Lord.

See what I’m saying about struggling? I still have so much more to learn. And like I said yesterday, “Thank You that I don’t ever have to struggle alone.” You are right here with me. You want so much for us to live a life of Your love. Thank You Lord. Thank You that You love us so much that You sent Your Son that we would truly understand what it means that “the greatest love is shown when a person lays down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

Lord God, thank You for the struggling that goes on within me that proves that I still have so much more to learn. ♫I love You for the cross…♫ Thank You. Amen.

(567 words ~ 10:05 a.m.)

celebrate

Monday, June 21, 2010 (7:53 a.m.)

Blessed, Beloved Lord God,

Thank You! Thank You for time to celebrate. We got to celebrate a graduate, an anniversary, fathers and working well together. What a wonderful opportunity of learning to truly appreciate people and accomplishments of great importance.

Blessed Lord how I celebrate YOU! You are wonderful. Incredible. Awesome. Amazing. Delightful. You are getting each of us to the place where we trust and rely on You. What an honor. Such a privilege. Absolutely a reason to celebrate.

Lord, thank You. I am grateful to be able to turn to Psalm 145 and immediately start singing of Your faithfulness. I love the way I lay here in bed and think of all the reasons there are to thank and praise You. Lord, You are so good. So gracious. So incredibly generous and I love You so very much.

Thank You for these days of celebration. Thank You for words of encouragement, spoken in love. Thank You for the way You have of bringing people and events together for Your ultimate good. You are truly amazing and completely worthy of every ounce of praise we can utter on Your behalf.

King David began his psalm of praise to You by exalting You as his God the King. This particular psalm (145) was written as ‘pure praise, offered to God for His many attributes and qualities’. How blessed I am to have these resources right here at my disposal! Thank You Lord.

Thank You that just by reading his first three verses here, my mind and heart went immediately to lyrics we sang out strongly in church yesterday. ♫Great is Your faithfulness Great is Your Faithfulness You never change You never fail, O God True are Your promises True are Your promises…♫ THANK YOU that You never change or fail O God!

Hands WERE raised in church yesterday! Raised in praise to You ♫the Holy One Who was and is and is to come Wide is Your love and grace Wide is Your love and grace You never change You never fail, O God You were, You are You will always be♫

Thank You Lord. Thank You for as many things that we truly have to celebrate, YOU are the focus of each celebration. Thank You for these particular words of King David that help me remember that YOU are my reason to celebrate.

I love You so much dear Lord! Thank You. Amen.

(410 words ~ 9:27 a.m.)

sleep

Thursday, June 17, 2010 (7:30 a.m.)

Wow God!

Thank You! More sleep. Complete with a dream I remembered. After 4:30 I didn’t think there was any chance that sleep would happen again. Thank You!

(9:10 a.m.)

All this time later and I’m still trying to thank You for “My sleep [which] had been pleasant to me” (Jeremiah 31:26). Lord, I looked at this verse. Then I read the chapter. After which I read about the chapter. I don’t know that I fully understand its significance, but I DO know that I find hope in it! The titles for chapters 30 and 31 are “Restoration Will Follow Exile” and “God Will Rebuild His Land” under the outline heading of “New Covenant Promises”.

Lord, I absolutely can’t thank You enough for Your promises! There’s even a ‘Psalty’ segment about verse 33 entitled “You’ll Want to Obey” underscoring the gift You give us by having “put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.”

Oh Dearest Lord, by simply turning our thoughts and will over to You, You bless and bless and bless. While I know I can’t actually ever thank You enough, I can keep making the effort! Thank You for Your love. Thank You for Your grace. Thank You for Your promises that are all working together to turn us into a family that truly loves one another and are learning to work together to the betterment of each. You are amazing God! And I thank You! I praise You! I love You! Thank You for pleasant sleep! Amen.

(272 words ~ 9:29 a.m.)

peace

Tuesday, June 15, 2010 (8:07 a.m.)

Loving Lord,

How blessed I am by having You in my life! For so long I have tried doing things in my own strength and power with such negative outcomes. Learning to trust and depend on You is absolutely mind boggling! There is such a calmness, a peace [You know the one? “…which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand” (Philippians 4:7)]

Lord, You are so good. So kind. So loving. So perfect. How I thank You for providing our every need. Even while considering what I might say to You, music again began in my head. Not knowing what the song was, I got to enter the few words that were coming to mind and before I knew it, I am again singing ♫Wonderful, powerful Merciful, You are beautiful Wonderful, powerful Jesus is Your name♫

Yep! Peace! It just washes over me as I relax and lean into You. Again I find myself saying the same words. You are so good, so kind…

Thank You Lord that You ARE the ♫Keeper of the stars, Lord of time and space♫ and I get to ♫live my life, lifting up Your name Lover of my heart, God who came to save Thank You for the cross, and the life You gave… Hallelujah Jesus… You are the Everlasting God… Hallelujah Jesus, my Lord, beautiful You are♫

Lord, thank You for every single thing You do (and have done) that allows me to experience this life in and with You. Thank You for this incredible peace that absolutely surpasses all understanding. Lord, how I thank You and ask that I would use everything that You have so generously given me to share this wonderful, powerful, merciful, beautiful peace with all.

I love You Lord. I thank You. And I ask that You would again bless this day with Your perfect peace. Thank You. Amen.

(320 words ~ 8:46 a.m.)

Graduation Day

Monday, June 14, 2010 (5:58 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

It’s official. This is it. Graduation Day. And I bring it to You Dear Lord. Every fear of all that could possibly go wrong, I lay at Your feet asking that You would make this into a day of pure celebration.

Lord, You have gifted us in so many incredible ways. We are learning to communicate lovingly because of You. We get to work together, practicing our listening and responding skills. We are even working on telling each other when we don’t agree with something without making it into a personal affront. Lord, You are doing all this in and through each of us.

Thank You that I get to bring this day to You. Thank You that although my plan for the past several hours has been to title today’s prayer to You, “Instead; revisited” and to again look at Philippians 4:6 once more You have something far better for me. Thank You that You ALWAYS have something better for us!

My plan was to focus on all there is to do and be upset about and You just took that right away from me and reminded me so perfectly that “There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven…” (Ecclesiastes 3:1) And how in Your world did I come upon such wisdom? Through the Beach Boys of course! ♫There’s a time for joy A time for tears A time we’ll treasure through the years We’ll remember always Graduation Day♫

Blessed God, how I thank You for taking me from not being able to see the keys because of the streaming tears to completely dry eyes and a smiling face. Lord, I am absolutely looking to You this day! There are so many things that could possibly go ‘wrong’ in my eyes. We might not get the seats we want. There could be harsh, angry words spoken because people just don’t know how to get along. So many things might (or might NOT!) happen. The possibilities for a multitude of ‘coulda, shoulda, woulda’s is endless. But I don’t have to be afraid of any of them!

There IS “A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to rebuild. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to lose. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak up. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.” (vs. 2-8)

Oh most dear and blessed Lord God, as I continue looking through Ecclesiastes this morning, I especially look to You. I begin to jump to a conclusion. Like the ones offered in verses 12 and 13, “I know the best thing we can do is to always enjoy life, because God’s gift to us is the happiness we get from our food and drink and from the work we do.” But then I come to verse 14, “Everything God has done will last forever; nothing He does can ever be changed. God has done all this, so that we will worship Him.” Hmm. So that we will worship You!

Yes Lord. Let me keep that at the forefront of this day. This truly IS a day to celebrate! It is another day that I get to worship You! Verses 12, 13 and 14 in chapter 12 wrap it up and bring it all back to You. “My child, I warn you to stay away from teachings except these. There is no end to books, and too much study will wear you out. Everything you were taught can be put into a few words: Respect and obey God! This is what life is all about. God will judge everything we do, even what is done in secret, whether good or bad.”

Lord, how I ask that You would bless this graduation day! Take my fearful ‘what ifs’ and turn them into Your glorious “I ams”! I do not have to be afraid of ANY thing because You Dear Lord are glorious and mighty and worthy to be praised. ALL the things that could possibly go wrong don’t hold a candle to every single thing of which You are capable. Thank You for having our backs Dear Lord! Bless this hurt and struggling family as we go to celebrate our first graduation day without the presence of our dear mom and grandma. How appropriate that she didn’t get to attend her own as well!

Thank You for loving us so much Dearest Lord. Please do for us all that we can’t possibly do for ourselves. You know? Like find seats together and ‘be okay’! I love You God. Thank You! Amen.

(866 words ~ 7:10 a.m.)

instead

Sunday, June 13, 2010 (5:24 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

I made a mistake yesterday and instead of turning immediately to You with it, I went directly to the food cupboards ~ which was an even bigger error in judgment.

Lord. I got too close to the pool chemicals again. It’s the second time in just under a month. I hate coming to You all whiney and all, but I don’t have time to not feel okay. There’s a graduation and a party and travel and… to attend to and my head keeps thinking too much.

That’s why I’m here this morning. VERY selfishly using You and Your Word in my attempt to feel better. Philippians 4:6 tells me “Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.”

So here I am Lord. The details of the house and the yard and the pool and the party and the invitations and announcements and food and… It’s all just piling up inside me Lord and I need Your peace and direction and healing and faith and hope and love.

Lord, thank You for the help You have been providing me these past many years. You don’t leave me alone in the messes of my own making. You do help me remember to turn to You every time I’m trying to decide which thing really needs to come first. YOU are my first thing!!!!!!!!! Everything else pales in comparison.

You are such a good and loving God. Thank You for all You are and all You do on our behalf. Lord, I look to You to order this day. Help me break it down into workable pieces. Thank You for reminding me that “I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need” (v. 13). I’m depending on that Lord! Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(320 words ~ 6:18 a.m.)

good

Saturday, June 12, 2010 (6:51 a.m.)

Blessed, Amazing Lord God,

You are good! Good, good, good. I look to all the ways You show Yourself to us and I am so grateful. Lord, we as a family have developed some really unhealthy patterns through the years, but You are changing them!

See? Even as I just start thinking about all You are and do for us, all the ways You’ve been working in and through us, changing us more into the people You would have us be music starts up in my mind and my heart! ♫Jesus, You’re my firm foundation I know I can stand secure Jesus, You’re my firm foundation I put my hope in Your Holy Word I put my hope in Your Holy Word♫

Lord, I love You so much. I love that You are here to comfort and guide us. You work so hard at growing each of us. Right here John 15 immediately comes to mind. I turn to it and yes here You are again reaffirming all the things my heart is telling me is true! You are the true vine! Your Father? The gardener. Branches that don’t produce fruit are cut away. Those that do are cleaned to produce even more fruit. Staying joined to You, we can produce fruit. Apart from You we can’t.

And again, reading and typing this my mind is sidetracked by singing ♫Your Word is faithful Mighty with power God will deliver me Of this I’m sure Of this I’m sure♫ Lord, You are so very good! It is still amazing to me that I get to live my life with You. I get to keep seeing evidences of Your pruning each of us, removing all that is unnecessary.

Verse seven describes what is happening in me these days, “Stay joined to me and let my teachings become part of you. Then you can pray for whatever you want and your prayer will be answered.” None of what all we have going for us as a family would be possible without You! We are called to be fruitful disciples of Yours, honoring Your Father. You love us because He loves You. We are to remain faithful to Your love for us. Obeying You. Keep loving You, just as Your Father keeps loving You, because You obeyed Him. You tell us this to make us as completely happy as You are. And then here in verses 12 and 17 You again hit it right out of the park! “Now I tell you to love each other, as I have loved You… So I command you to love each other.”

It is only by Your loving us that we are able to even begin to recognize what true love is. We have been lulled by the world’s interpretation all these years. Thank You that You are willing to work so steadily and faithfully in getting us to be able to recognize that which is authentic and genuine, not counterfeit nor imitation.

Thank You Lord that I get to sing wholeheartedly ♫I have a living hope I have a future God has a plan for me Of this I’m sure Of this I’m sure♫ Lord, I AM sure! I am sure because You are good! Good, good, good. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(556 words ~ 8:24 a.m.)

waiting

Friday, June 11, 2010 (6:43 a.m.)

♫Strength will rise,

♫As we wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord♫

So talk to me about this waiting Lord. Wow! No sooner said than done, huh? Thank You Father! Thank You that with the goose egg (zero) I got from entering ‘wait upon the Lord’ and the overload of verses that came up under ‘waiting’ as I continued the search by what appeared to be Your individual direction, I came to Psalm 27:14.

Just as I started becoming calmed by it, I got excited, then relaxed, then hopeful, then strong [Violet Beauregard, just before she turns into a blueberry in Willy Wonka, immediately comes to mind J] Lord, I LOVE how I get to have fun with You!

Thank You for guiding and directing my heart exactly as You know it needs to be led. Left to my own devices I could become angry, resentful, sullen... But You have so much more for me! You know that I need to be reminded by King David’s prayer of confidence in You that I am to “Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”

I confess to You Lord, I DO get tired of waiting! I stay the course, hope the hopes, but still get tired and discouraged by the waiting. Thank You that You are here to remind me that in You I can ‘remain confident’ (v.3) because You are who You are!

Too often I forget the truth of verse four, “The one thing I ask of the Lord – the thing I seek most – is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord’s perfection and meditating in His Temple.” There’s so much peace that comes over me as I dig deeper into Your Word and trust that You really do know what You are doing in us and through us!

You DO “Listen to my pleading, O Lord. Be(ing) merciful and answer(ing) me!” (v.7) “My heart HAS heard You say, ‘Come and talk with me.’ And my heart (DOES) respond, ‘Lord, I am coming.’” (v. 8) What a blessing You are Dear Lord. What a privilege it is to come before You hurt and scared asking You to “Teach me to live, O Lord. Lead me along the path of honesty, for my enemies are waiting for me to fall.” (v.11) In this particular instance I would look at ‘enemies’ as being far more spiritual than earthly, but true enemies none-the-less!

As I look to You praying verse twelve, “Do not let me fall into their hands. For they accuse me of things I’ve never done and breathe out violence against me” I get to rejoice in the truth of verse thirteen! “Yet I am confident that I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.”

Why? All because You are teaching me to “Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”

Hmm. Thank You Lord for prompting me this morning to come running to You believing that ♫Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord Our God, You reign forever Our hope, our Strong Deliverer…♫

Thank You for helping me learn the importance of waiting. Help me keep practicing being patient in my waiting. I love You so much Dearest Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(597 words ~ 8:03 a.m.)

chains

Thursday, June 10, 2010 (5:45 a.m.)

Blessed Lord God,

You are good! GOOD good! Thank You!

An emotionally painful event at dinner, followed by hurt feelings, much silence and very little sleep. Yet here I am relating to You again as the defeating blows of a video game the other night. Chains were broken, evil squashed and I thought of You. Just now, remembering the graphic details of ultimate good destroying its archenemy again a song came to mind.

♫Praise is rising, eyes are turning to You, We turn to You, Hope is stirring, hearts are yearning for You, We long for You ‘Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day In Your presence all our fears are washed away Washed away Hosanna Hosanna You are the God who saves us, Worthy of all our praises Hosanna Hosanna Come have Your way among us We welcome You here Lord Jesus♫

How cool are You Dear Lord?

(6:52 a.m.)

SO cool! There is no disrespect or blaspheming going on here when I liken life with You to a video game. There are battles, defeat, new life, ultimate good and evil. Only when all the battles are fought and victory secured as the game designers have preconceived it is the game complete.

♫Hear the sound of hearts returning to You We turn to You In Your Kingdom broken lives are renewed You make us new ‘Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day In Your presence, all our fears are washed away Washed away♫

Last night, I can tell You Lord, I was NOT afraid! I experienced Your presence right in the battle with an evil spirit. I was able to remain calm, call upon Your holy name, pray, read Your Word. The conclusion definitely didn’t turn out as I had hoped but I didn’t crumble. I did NOT revert to the old pattern of name-calling and door slamming. I absolutely was reminded of what love truly is according to 1Corinthians 13:4-8. I remembered that we are to take our stand in You and NOT in fertilizer. This is all growth Lord. New growth. Real growth. Chains to the past are being broken. Destroyed. Never to be used the same again. There will be more battles, of this there is no doubt. How I thank and praise You for the practice that last night gave us.

You are such a good and holy, mighty, powerful, loving God! ♫Hosanna Hosanna You are the God who saves us Worthy of all our praises… Come have Your way among us We welcome You here Lord Jesus…♫

Thank You Lord for giving us Your strength and power to break the chains that keep us bound to negative, life sucking, automatic behaviors. You are good. You are mighty. You are holy. And I love You! Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(484 words ~ 7:16 a.m.)

uttering

Wednesday, June 9, 2010 (6:54 a.m.)

Oh Most Dear and Loving Lord,

Thank You for another day of waking up and praising Your most holy name. Thank You for the soft uttering of ♫You are the defender of the weak♫ and the means with which to locate the lyrics in practically no time at all.

Lord You are so awesome! What a joy it is to stir throughout the night and find myself thinking of You each time. Even watching as chains were broken in the two-year conclusion of a video game had me thinking only of You and Your mighty power.

I look around me Lord and I continue to feel dismayed by my seeming lack of progress in the things I used to find important (e.g. dusting, vacuuming, laundry, precision yard work). But then I consider all the ways You’ve been working in me to be able to see what truly is of importance. People. Relationships. You. Above all else, YOU!

Lord, I can’t even begin to express the excitement in my heart at this very moment. Just by concordancing [no, I did NOT know that was a word! J] this one word, I found only two verses in three translations and each one has me in tears. You are such a good and awesome God!

♫Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord Our God, You reign forever Our hope, our Strong Deliverer You are the Everlasting God The Everlasting God You do not faint You won’t grow weary… You’re the defender of the weak You comfort those in need You lift us up on wings like eagles♫

(8:40 a.m.)

After a time away of breakfast making and kitchen straightening I’m back to continue thanking and praising You for guiding me first to Acts 9:1 and then to Isaiah 59:13. Lord, paying close attention to the word ‘uttering’ has brought me to two verses that normally I might just pass over. Sweetest Jesus how I thank You for providing me with the hope that is needed to be able to deal honestly, openly and willingly with all the situations and decisions that we encounter on a daily basis.

Lord, I love You so much and am so very grateful for all You are and all You do to continue guiding and directing us on Your path of righteousness. Deal with me as You see fit this day. Help me approach what needs my attention. Keep me realistic in my expectations of that which I am fully capable (within Your strength and power, of course!).

I love You. I need You. I thank You. Amen.

(450 words ~ 8:56 a.m.)

future

Tuesday, June 8, 2010 (6:47 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Thank You.

(7:17 a.m.)

Again I struggle with the direction I think I want to go here and promptings I sense from You. Let me just stop and acknowledge all of the above.

First I started out singing ♫God is the strength of my heart♫ and I was sure that’s where You’d take me. Then I saw the date and recognized it as a family member’s birthday. As well as its being election day. Both are worthy of extra time spent before You on their behalves. Lord, You know everything that is needed for the future of both this state and this family. How I ask that You make it so!

And there it is again ♫God is the strength of my heart… And my portion (future) forever♫

Lord, how I thank You that we are never in this time alone. It is so easy for me to get caught up in the situations of the day that I put off thinking about the future. Then of course there are those times that I think too much about the future that I practically ignore today. Thank You that You are here keeping me balanced.

Psalm 73 sums me up so succinctly! Too often I look around at what all is going on with others and compare my lot with theirs. I confess to questioning, even judging the ‘fairness’ (or seeming lack thereof) of it all. Thank You Lord that once again there is a section of Your Word that I resemble so well. It allows me to know that I am not alone in my thinking or feeling.

The Bible Handbook describes it by saying “This unique psalm traces the experience of the poet, who feels envy at the prosperity of the wicked (1-12) and frustration at his own lot (13-16). He finds release by comparing the end of the wicked (18-20) with the blessings of his present and future fellowship with God (21-28).”

Lord, thank You that Don Moen took the time to turn part of this psalm into his own praise song to You. ♫Whom have I in heaven, but You? There is nothing on earth I desire besides You. My heart and my strength, many times they fail, But there is one truth that always will prevail God is the strength of my heart. God is the strength of my heart. God is the strength of my heart And my portion (future) forever. Forever.♫

As much as I can’t even begin understanding how wonderful this truth really is, I thank You Lord. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for guiding and forgiving me. Empower and enable me Dearest Lord to use this day for Your good and Your glory. Help me make wise voting decisions and bless our baby brother in this next year of his life. Make Yourself known to him in ways that he’s never even considered.

Thank You for Your love. Show us how to truly live each and every day in and through You and Your love. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(521 words ~ 8: 01 a.m.)

Believe!

Monday, June 7, 2010 (5:44 a.m.)

Amazing Wonderful Everlasting God,

Thank You for the chance to once again be awed by You! Thank You that somewhere between the late night couldn’t sleeps and the very early wide awakes You reminded me that I need to believe!

Oh Your goodness Lord! What a wonderful, much needed reminder. For as long as I can remember I’ve seen the word ‘lie’ in there, but never had I noticed that it was smack in the center. And right in the middle of that is another word. “I”.

Lord, I confess to how many times here of late I have been afraid. Time and again I’ve fallen into that trap of thinking it’s all up to me to set things right. Somewhere along the line I bought into the idea that I could somehow make things better between friends and loved ones. I lie when I think like that Lord. YOU have that power! Not me.

Thank You Lord. Thank You that along with the call for me to believe, You also reminded me on what I am to believe. In Acts 16:31, Paul and Silas answer their jailer’s question as to how he can be saved by saying, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.”

Lord, I confess to forgetting this at the most inopportune moments. Whenever there’s a bit of awkwardness between people, my first thought is to just give up and consider all to be lost. Paul and Silas were severely beaten and wrongfully imprisoned (v. 23) yet they kept praying and singing hymns to You (v. 25). I want to believe in You like that! With a faith so big that ‘the storms of life can threaten, but they cannot destroy’.

What will that be like Lord? To look around me at things that are not to my liking and still choose to sing ♫I believe for every drop of rain that falls A flower grows I believe that somewhere in the darkest night A candle glows I believe for everyone who goes astray, Someone will come To show the way♫ And not just any someone Lord! I truly believe that YOU come!

♫I believe above a storm the smallest prayer Can still be heard I believe that Someone in the great somewhere Hears every word Everytime I hear a new born baby cry, Or touch a leaf or see the sky Then I know why, I believe♫

Lord, how I ask You to continue reminding me what and why it is that I believe. You are good and gracious. Perfect and wonderful. Continue growing me in Your power and Your strength. Keep reminding me that while satan lies Jesus LIVES!

There are so many exciting thoughts to begin this morning with. “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7) I want to love like that Dear Lord. Help me remember to BELIEVE!

I love You so much Lord! Thank You. Amen.

(507 words ~ 7:07 a.m.)

grief?

Sunday, June 6, 2010 (6:06 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

What an honor. What a privilege to come before You

(7:19 a.m.)

and then just leave! I’m doing that a lot these days. So talk to me will You please about all that is going on inside me. I planned to come talk to You about ‘roots’ and Colossians 2:7. As I started in that direction, I got completely distracted by looking up the seven stages of grief to see just where ‘avoidance’ factors in. It’s a coping mechanism.

Hmm. Grief is it? I’m willing Lord! I confess I HAVE been avoiding it. I don’t want to look at it. I don’t want to acknowledge it. Nor do I want to deal with it. So how do we start? How about getting me to the point where I actually believe I’m grieving? Because let’s face it Lord, I’m not even there yet.

Does that really put me still stuck in the first stage of shock? Or could this be like the daughter ordained it? Denial! I’m still not seeing it Lord. I know my mom died almost three months ago. I’m not denying it. I’m just not feeling it either. I’m avoiding it.

So? What would YOU have me do with it? I can’t speak for You. But You keep filling my spirit with hope here. Every verse I’ve turned to so far this morning has left me smiling. Lord, I DON’T understand this process! I’m NOT proceeding as I initially thought I would. I don’t seem to be following any set pattern other than winding my way back to You each time I try to branch off on my own.

Lord, I love You. I am extremely grateful to You for the lessons of love You keep placing before us. You are so good. So gentle. So kind. Thank You for providing me with the strength to take another tiny little baby step toward wholeness. None of the progress that we have made thus far could ever have been possible without You. You are wonderful. And I am grateful.

So I’m asking You into my grief here Lord. I don’t know what it looks like. I’m not even sure what it’s supposed to look like. But I DO know I can trust You with it. I don’t want to continue avoiding things. YOU are the basis of my faith! YOU are worthy of all my faith, hope and love. WHATEVER it is that You would have me feel, be, think and do today Dearest Lord, make it so.

I love You so very much. Thank You Lord. Amen.

(438 words ~ 8:14 a.m.)

beautiful

Friday, June 4, 2010 (5:51 a.m.)

Most Dear and Blessed Lord God,

Thank You! Thank You for this wonderful opportunity to just come before You with a joyful, thankful heart and attitude.

Lord! You are so good. You help so much. And just like that a different song starts singing!

I thought I was coming in here to sing to You ♫Our God…♫ either ♫…is a God who saves♫ or ♫…is an awesome God♫ Both work! You ARE an awesome God! And You DO save. We are living, breathing proof of that.

As I was beginning to list the things You are, ♫Beautiful♫ came to mind.

(6:36 a.m.)

And then, just now as I was creating a new breakfast idea (a Banana Foster’s-ish topped bagel ~ thank You so much for the inspiration!) without knowing it, I was again singing ♫Our God is a God who saves♫ Lord, You truly ARE incredible!

You have taken so many mishaps this family has presented and turned them into such blessings.

Let’s look at last night as just one tiny little example. I was considering a role of responsibility that I neither wanted nor felt up to. Rather than ‘suck it up’ as I would have in the past, this time I chose loving words and expressed myself calmly. Wow! What a concept! Thank You for the guidance there Lord.

Later as I overheard harsher voices discuss opinions and desires, instead of taking myself into the midst of it (old pattern!) I stayed far away and started singing ♫Our God is an awesome God♫ So new am I to this type of behavior on my part, I even struggled to remember those brief six words.

Oh but God, You ARE such an awesome God! After all was said and done, and I had stayed completely out of what clearly was none of my business, instead of asking for details of what all had taken place I merely asked both parties if each participant knew he was loved by the other. When “yes” was stated and both heads nodded, my only reply was, “That’s all I need to know!”

Lord, THAT is growth! That is YOU! At Your best! ♫Beautiful, beautiful, Jesus is beautiful, and Jesus makes beautiful things of my life. Carefully, touching me, causing my eyes to see, Jesus makes beautiful things of my life♫

Lord, I can only begin to thank You for the beautiful things You are causing in my life. Yesterday we were a family that just played in the pool together. How rarely has that happened in the past? Then, each of us fell into taking care of some necessary detail of living together in the same space. Not many demands made. Just a genuine, heartfelt spirit of working together for the common good. And why was that? ♫Beautiful, beautiful, Jesus is beautiful, and Jesus makes beautiful things of my life♫

Lord. Thank You! Thank You that You truly are beautiful! I love You so very much. Thank You. Amen.

(504 words ~ 7:32 a.m.)

joy

Thursday, June 3, 2010 (7:42 a.m.)

Good Morning Lord,

I’m finding lots of other stuff to do this morning instead of just coming here and spending time with You. Not the way I really like to start any day. I MUCH prefer it when I just come right straight over to You!

I was really excited through the night when my mind kept being brought back from its wandering into the distant land of “But, what about…?”s by the melody of another song to You. I was even more pleased when I finally recognized the praise as being ♫Let God arise♫ So why did I just feel discouraged when I saw that I had been singing it to You on Tuesday?

I watch as the clock continues ticking minutes by and I wonder if this is going to be another one of those days where I give myself yet one more pass and not fully accomplish anything. That is why I’m here rambling with You Lord. I want to think and feel and be and do all the things YOU have for me. Align my will with Yours so that I can experience Your peace that passes understanding.

Oh most dear and beloved God. Thank You! Thank You for singing to me throughout the night so that I could quiet enough to sleep. And thank You for guiding me just now to Philippians 4:7, stopping along the way to examine other thoughts as well. Chapter 3 speaks of “Joy through Commitment”.

Blessed God. Truly I don’t know where to go from here. I sit. I read Your Word. I get excited and ambitious. And then I start to fizzle out. I know You are good! I experience Your faithfulness. I just don’t know what to do with it. I want to apply the time, talent, energy and resources You have provided me toward heavenly things. But instead I fritter them away.

Lord I am asking You to work in me. Help me even more than You already have been in making healthier choices. You have a lot for me to learn and to know. Make it so I am able to hold tightly only to the things to which You would have me hold tightly and then to let go of all the rest.

I truly DO love the work You are doing in me! There is definitely underlying peace and joy abounding within. I don’t want to waste or squander any of it Lord. You are so good. Empower and enable to feel and be and think and do all that YOU desire of and for me this day. I love You so much Lord. Don’t let me waste a moment of it! Thank You. Amen.

(457 words ~ 8:49 a.m.)

rejoicing

Wednesday, June 2, 2010 (6:54 a.m.)

♫Hallelujah Jesus…♫

Blessed Lord, how exciting it is for me when the first words which come to mind when I think to start tapping the keys is “an utterance of praise as an expression of worship or rejoicing”. Mm, Lord. Rejoicing – or showing great joy or delight.

Mm. Yes, Lord. Who besides You knew that great joy and delight can be found in the absolute simplest of things. Patient and loving communication. Forgiveness. Working together for a common goal. You Lord. You are in charge of all of this for us.

In The Message Bible, Dr. Luke quotes Jesus as telling the excited returning missionary teams, who had been sent out in pairs to preach and heal, “See what I’ve given you? Safe passage… No one can put a hand on you. All the same, the great triumph is not in your authority over evil, but in God’s authority over you and presence with you. Not what you do for God but what God does for you – that’s the agenda for rejoicing.” (Luke 10:17-20)

Rejoicing in my relationship with You! Yes Lord!

(8:34 a.m.)

Interesting situation here, Lord. One minute I’m all in praising You and rejoicing over Your goodness and grace. And the very next, I’m being rude to my husband because my feelings got hurt. Thank You Lord for the work You are doing in both of us that allows us to see what’s going on. And even if in the actual moment we’re not ready, willing, or able to change any of it, we’re still full on aware of what’s happening! That right there is growth and yet another reason for full on rejoicing!

Rejoicing in the work You are doing in each of us. Rejoicing in the fact that our ‘names ARE written in heaven’ (Luke 10:20).

Bless You Father. Praise You. Thank You. I love You! Amen.

(321 words ~ 8:46 a.m.)

♫… a God who saves♫

Tuesday, June 1, 2010 (7:50 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

It’s another new month. Mm, but You are the same wonderful God. Thank You for the privilege of coming before You all through last night. Very early this morning I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to sleep, but You were here to hear my prayers on behalf of myself and others. Thank You God. Thank You that even though things around us change constantly, You do not.

You are the same. You stay the same. You are ♫Our God… who saves♫ Lord I can’t ever thank You enough for all the ways You save us from ourselves. Every single time I start down that road of not being or doing enough, here You are to remind me to ♫Hear the holy roar of God resound Watch the waters part before us now Come and see what He has done for us Tell the world of His great love Our God is a God who saves Our God is a God who saves♫

Oh Most Blessed and Beloved Lord, thank You that You ARE a God who saves! Having all the thoughts of things left undone in the month of May swirl around in my head at midnight, how comforting it was to be able to mentally sing ♫Let God arise Let God arise Our God reigns now and forever He reigns now and forever♫ See? Another brand new month, but the same wonderful God!

♫His enemies will run for sure The church will stand, she will endure He holds the keys of life, our Lord Death has no sting, no final word♫ Oh Dearest Lord, what freedom there is to be found in putting our hope, our trust, our faith in You. Help me, I pray, to bring the ridiculously high bar of best intentions I have set for myself down to a more accurate bar of reality concerning my current ability.

I love You Lord. You have allowed me such grace and time to grow into a much more realistic understanding of who I am and of what I am truly capable. Thank You Lord. I look to You to set my level of excellence. My unrealistic way of expecting too much from myself is not serving me well at all, but that does not mean that I want to shirk all responsibility. Help me be reasonable in setting and achieving the goals YOU would have me set. Let me continue to look to You. After all, You ARE ♫… a God who saves♫

I love You so much Dear Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(429 words ~ 9:04 a.m.)