Bountiful

Friday, October 30, 2009 (6:08 a.m.)

Blessed, Beloved, Bountiful Father,

Bountiful? Yes. Bountiful! Oh Your Goodness! You never cease to amaze me. Thank You for Your call on my life and for urging me out here to You this morning. Laying in bed for the past few hours, rolling around trying to find more sleep, yet continually thinking of You.

Thank You Lord. Thank You Father. Thank You God. Mm. Your timing is perfect! Having thought that the seasonal placing of the sun no longer allowed me the ‘perfect’ sunrise view from ‘my little window on the world’. Yet here I was again stopped dead in my tracks, with pure awe and adulation! Such beauty. Such color. Such clarity and contrast! Talk about bountiful. You are such a bountiful Father. Thank You Lord!

Thank You for directing me outside to more fully enjoy and appreciate such bounty ‘up close and personal’. The sights, the sounds, the crisp coolness in the air – all such bountiful gifts from You. Thank You Lord.

Thank You also for guiding me to Deuteronomy 16:15 this morning, “For seven days celebrate this festival (the Feast of Tabernacles) to honor the Lord your God at the place He chooses, for it is the Lord your God who gives you bountiful harvests and blesses all your work. This festival will be a time of great joy for all.”

Every single time I’ve started to say, “Oh my goodness” to You this morning I’ve immediately stopped with the thought that my goodness has nothing to do with anything Lord. It’s YOUR goodness! His goodness! Thank You Lord.

Thank You for teaching me a little bit more about Your original plan behind the worship calendar You gave to Moses. Many festivals and holy days “intended by God for rest and refreshment” (The Bible Handbook). You’ve always known us too well, oh Lord.

Thank You for the reminding of these truths You’ve been doing in us around here recently. Just last week Terry and I spoke of the importance of us setting aside one particular day of Sabbath rest and agreed, for now, on Saturdays. And only yesterday we were talking about the renewed sense of rhythm that’s being established around here. It’s You Dear Lord. Blessed, beloved, bountiful You!

Thank You Lord. Thank You for reminders and challenges. And thank You especially Lord for opportunities to share in Your bountiful goodness, grace and love. Help us become better sharers of Your blessings with others. I love You so very much Dear Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(417 words ~ 7:28 a.m.)

Beautiful One

Thursday, October 29, 2009 (6:30 a.m.)

♫Beautiful One

♫I love. Beautiful One I adore. Beautiful One, my soul must sing♫ And sing it has, already, for much of the early morning.

Thank You Lord. Thank You that even though my conscious mind has been thinking, ‘I just sang this the other day’ my soul doesn’t seem to mind the repeat performance.

♫Powerful, so powerful Your glory fills the skies♫ Oh, and it does, Dear Lord! ♫Your mighty works displayed for all to see♫ Mm! ♫The beauty of Your majesty awakes my heart to sing ~ How marvelous, how wonderful You are♫ Yes Lord!

♫You opened my eyes to Your wonders anew, You captured my heart with this love ‘Cause nothing on earth is as beautiful as You♫ Now there’s a new thought!

I’ve sung this song I don’t know how many times before, yet this morning I’m stuck on the word “‘Cause”. You HAVE ‘opened my eyes to Your wonders anew’. And You’ve definitely ‘captured my heart with this love’. But have I ever stopped to consider that it’s all because ‘nothing on earth is as beautiful as You’? I don’t think so!

Something I learned a very long time ago is to check all philosophical ideas through Your Word, which is exactly how I ended up in Ecclesiastes (3:11) just now ~ with even MORE deep thoughts presented by the Preacher/Teacher.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work God does from beginning to end.” I’m thinking that puts You right up there at the very pinnacle of ‘nothing on earth is as beautiful as You’!

Lord, how I ask You to guide and direct my thoughts (feelings, being, and actions) today, in accordance to Jesus’ (Mark 12:30) dictate that we are to ‘love You with all of our hearts and souls, mind and strength’.

I love You so much already, Lord. Make it into the love You want it to be. A love that glorifies and enjoys You forever. ♫Beautiful One I love, Beautiful One I adore, Beautiful One my soul must sing. Wonderful, so wonderful is Your unfailing love, Your cross is spoken mercy over me. No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no heart can fully know How glorious, how beautiful You are. Beautiful One...♫

I love You Most Beautiful One! Thank You for allowing me such a privilege. Use it ~ use me for Your good. Amen.

(407 words ~ 8:13 a.m.)

Deuteronomy

Wednesday, October 28, 2009 (5:00 a.m.)

Holy God. Holy One,

Yes. Holy One! ♫Only You deserve the praises of the earth Words are not enough to sing of all Your worth Oh I glorify Your name I worship You Lord in this place You have called, I have come To the house of the Holy One You are God, I will run into You Thank You Holy God for Your healing blood Thank You for Your grace, and Your mighty love♫

Oh most dear and beloved Lord God. Thank You for such gentle strains as these playing in my soul upon awakening this morning. Thank You for the early call to time spent with You. Thank You for the ease with which to find these lyrics ~ both the title of the song we sang so vigorously in church on Sunday morning and Evan Wickham’s words on the internet.

Thank You Lord for a heart that is both content and agog with the opportunity to just sit here with You this morning. Lord, thank You for directing me to Moses’ words in Deuteronomy this morning. My Life Recovery Bible states the purpose of his having written theses words was “To assist God’s people as they live in the present, by reviewing what God has done in the past and considering what God has promised to do in the future.”

Lord, I’m looking around here at the order that You are bringing into our household. Decades of unhealthy patterns are not only being challenged, but changed. And it’s all because of You Dear Lord.

The privilege of spending time with You and in Your Word is one I have too often taken for granted. Reading more of the introduction to the book of Deuteronomy, I am once again made aware that the Israelites were rebuilding. “They were trying to make sense of forty wasted years. They were looking for ways to overcome the fear that had caused them to fail once before.”

Blessed Lord, thank You that YOU are that way! Thank You Lord that You are the Truth and the Life (John 14:6) as well. What joy is to be found in living in connection with You. Thank You Lord.

Thank You for the freedom with which to rejoice in Your kindness and Your goodness. Oh Most Holy God, as I continue in just the introduction itself I find myself flooded with peace and hope as well. “Rebuilding a life is serious business.” Yes Lord! “In Deuteronomy, God gives that subject His full attention. He gives us some essential guidelines for God’s program of victory.” Sign me up for that program Lord! Your program!

“He shows how we can gain direction from the past, guidance for the present, and hope for the future. Deuteronomy is a handbook for rebuilders.” Oh yes Dearest Lord. Rebuild me. Rebuild us. Make us into a family known for loving and obeying You and Your most Holy Word.

Turning the page and preparing to go deeper into Your Word, I find four subtitles under Recovery Themes. Learning from the Past, A Program for the Present, Hope for the Future and Rebuilding. Oh Blessed God, You are so good!

“How exciting to be able to start over again. This should be our attitude whenever we fail – anticipating a new start!” And as if my hope in Your truth is not enough, I am again reminded, “There is hope! We can begin again! What an encouragement to our starting over again when we have failed!”

But Wait! There’s more! J “And God’s grace in that process is limitless.” Oh my goodness Lord. YOU are limitless! Thank You for Your bounty so perfectly and regularly poured out upon us.

Preparing to leave here and get started on the day, my eyes and attention are once again drawn into Your Word. Chapter 1, verse 21, “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” And then of course the verse that started the whole look here in the first place (33:25) “As thy days, so shall thy strength be.”

Thank You Lord for this blessed reminder that all my days and all my dreams are covered by and filtered through You. Empower me to live them well. I love You Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(715 words ~ 5:55 a.m.)

early in the morning

Tuesday, October 27, 2009 (2:10 a.m.)

♫Holy, Holy, Holy! Lord God Almighty!

♫Early in the morning our song shall rise to Thee; Holy, holy, holy! Merciful and mighty! God in three Persons, blessed Trinity♫

Blessed Lord, thank You! Albeit, EARLY in the morning. My song DOES rise to Thee!

Thank You Lord. Even as I look up 2Chronicles 20:20 (how’s that for a prospect of ‘seeing’ something special? :) another song starts singing. ♫Beautiful One I love, Beautiful One I adore, Beautiful One my soul shall sing♫

Mm Lord. What a special treat to sit out here alone with You, fully aware that You have something special for me to know. Thank You Lord. Thank You that as I read, “Early in the morning they (the army of Judah) left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, ‘Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful.’”

Thank You Lord. Thank You that You would call me out here to You and remind me of Your sovereignty. Your supreme power and authority, Lord. What a blessing!

Thank You that in a verse (15b) prior to the one mentioned above, I am reminded by Your very own words, spoken through Jahaziel - a man standing before You, among the people from every part of Judah, after having Your Holy Spirit come upon him, “Don’t be afraid! Don’t be paralyzed by this mighty army! For the battle is not yours, but God’s!”

♫Beautiful One I love, Beautiful I adore, Beautiful One my soul shall sing♫ Thank You Lord. Thank You that You are so good. Thank You that You are so involved in our lives. Thank You that we are to ‘have faith in You, the Lord our God, and we will be upheld’. What is better than that God? (Maybe a few more hours of sleep? Just kidding! Kind of… :)

I love You Lord. Thank You for this early in the morning wake up call. Remind me of the things I need to know today. Prepare me for all You have for me this day. I love You so much. I am grateful to You. And I am ready to proceed as You desire. I love You. Amen.

(380 words ~ 3:06 a.m.)

self

Monday, October 26, 2009 (6:01 a.m.)

Hi God,

Nothing fancy, profound or thought provoking about that greeting is there? Nope. Pretty darn sheepish as far as I can tell. I think it fairly well depicts my state of being right now though. Yes Lord. After all, this was my self-proclaimed day for sleeping in. It always seems to work out better when I come to You prior to making my decisions, doesn't it! J

Having started waking up at three this morning, I could tell You had other plans for me. Better plans. Always Lord. Your plans are ALWAYS better for me than my own for myself.

Thank You Lord. Thank You that You have such a way of bringing me back around to Your best for me. You are so good. So holy. So perfect. Help me to hear and to understand what it is You have to say to me this morning.

Lord, I love You so very much. I want to be the woman You originally designed me to be. Continue Your work of fining (becoming clear) and refining (removing impurities or unwanted elements; improving by making small changes; making more accurate) me.

Mm. Yes Lord. Improve me. All the things I’m so sure I need. Everything I think I know. Filter it all through Your most holy Self! Your Word, Your Son, Your Spirit, Your Self.

Reading Paul’s letter to Titus once more sparks my desire to live this day Your way! Again I have to confess to You how far away I get from Your grace. It seems so natural for me to just rush on ahead, ever so sure that I know exactly what I’m doing. Only to discover, as I blindly crash into any number of barriers, that oh yeah I forgot another time to run my idea past You first.

Lord, I read this short, three-chapter book and think, “Yes! This is it! THIS is the way I want to live my life.” Truly Lord. You put the ‘agog’ back in my heart. You light the fire that makes me very eager and excited to tell others about living life in and with and through You.

I love You so much Lord. Guide and direct me this day in all that You would have me feel, be, know and do (Mark 12:30). You know exactly what it is You would have me do today. Take me by the hand if You have to and help me get it done. Line me up where You would have me. Put me back on the track You have designed especially for me. Make it clear. Crystal clear of what You would have me doing with this wonderful freedom You have so generously provided me. Lord, I love You so much. And I truly don’t want to waste a moment of all You’ve given me. Thank You Lord. Thank You for Your Self! Amen.

(481 words ~ 7:23 a.m.)

confidence

Sunday, October 25, 2009 (5:29 a.m.)

Most Holy God,

It is with some type of internal confidence that I come before You this morning asking that You would guide and direct me into learning more about exactly that – confidence. In You!

This idea of not living afraid is relatively new to me. I know that it is said again and again in Your Word to “Fear not!” and “Do not be afraid”. But this time around I’m more aware that it’s Your power, Your Word, Your strength in which I am to put my hope, my faith, my confidence. It all comes back to originating in You.

Thank You Lord. Thank You that as I sit here reading more of Your Word the desire I have for confidence in You continues to grow. Proverbs 3:26, “for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.” Hebrews 13:5b-6, “because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’ So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?’”

Lord, I confess to having been afraid for quit awhile (the better part of all my years). You have provided riches and blessings beyond all imagination. I don’t want to live fearfully any longer. I believe You, Lord. I trust You. All of my joy and confidence stem from and reside in You. Help me live this day with full confidence that You will be in my heart and soul and mind and strength (Mark 12:30) teaching me with each step I make and every breath I take how to love You exactly as You desire to be loved by me.

I love You so much Dear Lord. Help me do it well (Philippians 1:9 TM) and with greater confidence in You and Your strength and power. Thank You Lord. Amen.

(319 words ~ 6:29 a.m.)

moment of clarity

Saturday, October 24, 2009 (8:47 a.m.)

Oh My Goodness God!

My God. My Lord. My Hope. My Joy. My Love. My Life. My Peace. My Patience. My Kindness. My Goodness (my smile!!! :) YOUR goodness. Your gentleness. Your faithfulness. Your self-control. (Galatians 5: 22,23) All in me!

WOW! Lord! Thank You for “Aha!” moments! Defining moments! Blissful, blessed moments. All orchestrated and created by You. You, the Maker and Creator of the universe. You, the Holy One of Israel.

Lord God, how I thank You. Thank You for an excitement that I have not felt in months. A hope, unlike any other, that assures (convinces, satisfies, persuades, guarantees, promises) me that I no longer have to be afraid!

I felt it yesterday Lord. Right there in the middle of the patio. After the previous day of easy connection with my sweet husband, there we were again in the middle of another misunderstanding. All those seemingly fruitless hours spent framing words ‘just so’ as to not result in yet another blowup.

But this one was different Lord! You were here, right in the midst of our dispute! For the first moment in my entire lifetime of fear-based, calculated attempts at self-preservation You were my moment of clarity. Hours into my pouting at having my way and rhythm of doing things interrupted, I no longer saw my husband as the bad guy I had come to regard him recently.

No. This time, with Your help and guidance, I saw the situation exactly as it was. A muff! (A mistake or failure to catch or receive cleanly) Lord, I experienced Your presence in a way that was tangible. It was clear and definite. I honestly felt as though I had been released from a restraint of chains. I was no longer a little child cowering at the tone of someone’s voice. I was right there, in that moment. Recognizing how I felt and responding appropriately. Amazing, God! You are truly the most amazing and glorious God there could ever be.

Thank You for courage Lord. Courage like I have never known. Courage to confront decades of ineffective responses to challenging circumstances. Lord, I can’t thank You enough for the growth I received in that one particular instance. Instead of withdrawing in the fear of opposition, I stood firm. Because of Your great love for each of us, I was not only able to speak the truth with love (Ephesians 4:15) in that very moment. I saw it! Clearly! I felt it. Experienced it. Knew it as I have never known anything in my life.

And it wasn't just a passing incident. No, Lord. It was like Senor Lopez taught us back in tenth grade Spanish. When we learn a language well enough that we start dreaming in that particular tongue, that’s a sign that we really understand what we are being taught. This morning, waking up again after a brief little snooze, I got to share with my precious husband the most bizarre details of my very first ever dream in Christian!

Lord, thank You for blessing me. Thank You for keeping me. Thank You for making Yourself shine upon me and giving me peace (Numbers 6:24-26). Thank You for reminding me yesterday that Terry did not ‘steal my joy’. No. It was me that forfeited it. In my own childish way of handling constructive criticism, I became angry. I pouted. I stomped and was disagreeable.

Thank You for that one particular moment as I was clearing debris and ranting to You about the unfairness of it all. Thank You that at that very instant You reminded me that You ‘did not give me a spirit of fear, but of love and of power and of a sound mind’ (2Timothy 1:7). It was right then I started processing the whole day through Your lens of love and not my own distorted view.

Lord thank You again for yet another glimpse of grace! You are glorious. Mighty. Powerful. And I love You with my whole heart. Thank You for such a wonderful experience as this. I love You Lord. Amen.

(681 words ~ 11:43 a.m.)

first

Friday, October 23, 2009 (4:47 a.m.)

♫Jesus, Name above all names!

♫Blessed Redeemer, Glorious Lord; Emmanuel! “God is with us” Blessed Redeemer, Living Word.♫

Mm, yes God. I like waking up with thoughts and songs of You being first in my mind and in my heart. Thank You Lord.

Thank You that as I’ve searched Your Word this morning First and Second Peter (1:7) have been involved, as well as Revelation 22:13. “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.”

And what would the idea of Someone (You!) being First and Last be without Barry White crooning in my internal background? Looking up the words to the song dear Lord, here I am, once again putting You into our pop culture! ♫The First, my Last, my Everything And the answer to all my dreams. You’re my sun, my moon, my guiding star My kind of wonderful, that’s what You. I know there’s only, only One like You There’s no way ‘They’ could have made two! You’re all I’m living for Your love I’ll keep for evermore You’re the First, You’re the Last, My Everything...♫ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fcd3XuQwDQQ

Oh most Dear and Precious Lord, thank You for all You are teaching me about Your love. Help me apply and use it appropriately. I love You so much. I truly want You first (and last) in my life. Encompass me this day Dear Lord that I would truly utilize every aspect of all You have provided for me to genuinely live it loving You, myself and others well.

Use me Lord ~ ♫You’re my First, my Last, my Everything♫ and I love You like there is no other. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(289 words ~ 6:36 a.m.)

flavor

Wednesday, October 21, 2009 (7:27 a.m.)

Mm Lord,

Smile. Yes. Mm, Lord. Contentment. Joy. Peace. Flavor. Flavor? What? Where did that come from? Really Lord? Flavor?

Okay! I asked You in the car just now that You would speak to me that I might know and that I would listen. This is me. Listening!

And here You are. Guiding. Directing. Orchestrating. Planning. Promising. Fulfilling. And bringing to fruition! Thank You Lord.

Thank You that again You drew me near to You. I confess Lord. While I didn’t come to You kicking and screaming this morning, there was a reluctance involved. I hesitated. Took my time. Didn’t run straight into Your strong open arms. Ah, but You are so much bigger and better than my wavering moods. Thank You for that as well.

Thank You that I get to bring You my heart. Exactly as it is - being stretched and challenged (actually poked and prodded seem evermore accurate). You know what You’re doing with it - with me. I trust that. I trust You. And through this process, I firmly believe You are going to - make that, You ARE teaching me to trust myself! Continue Your work in my life oh Lord. Keep challenging my beliefs and understandings.

What am I saying? I know how You operate! I give You an inch (or a mustard seed of faith :) and You’ll just take over…

And that is exactly what I am saying Lord! Take over my life. Please Lord ~ take over my life!

Mark 9:50 (The Living Bible) says, “Good salt is worthless if it loses its saltiness; it can’t season anything. So don’t lose your flavor! Live in peace with each other.”

Yes, Lord. Flavor!

(3:43 p.m.)

Through random events of the day there is still an often-felt sense of peace. An occasional feeling of disconnect brought back to a smile at the slightest hint of flavor. The smell of ‘get better caldo’ for Connor…

Thursday, October 22, 2009 (5:36 a.m.)

Lord, the excellent flavor of the meat and various vegetables having stewed together all day yesterday resulted in a completely empty crockpot last night. That’s the kind of flavor I want You to produce in me!

In The Message, Eugene Peterson presented Mark 9:50 thusly, “Everyone’s going through a refining fire sooner or later, but you’ll be well-preserved, protected from the eternal flames. Be preservatives yourself. Preserve the peace.” Oh that I would Dear Lord. Flavor and preserve me that I may share Your flavor with others.

Oh my goodness God! As I have been singing parts of “Knees to the Earth” to You since Tuesday, I fully expected to go deeper with the lyrics here than ♫Be blessed, Be loved, Be lifted high Be treasured here Be glorified♫ but then as we’re talking together another song began.

♫Tanto tiempo difrutamos de este amor, nuestras almas se acercaron tanto asi♫ which has been previously translated for me as ♫We have enjoyed this love for so long Our souls have become so close that I keep a taste of You ~ but You also carry in You the taste of me♫

All these years Lord, more than thirty-five of them, that has been Terry and my song (which is not to be confused with “It’s Impossible” which was mistakenly played as ‘ours’ at our wedding! :). Not once that I can remember have I brought You into the mix of it. It IS Your taste that I want to keep and to carry with me. Your taste I want to carry on my mouth into eternity.

Having just returned from dropping Connor at school Lord and I am again aware of Your flavoring on the area around me. Beautifully clear sky. Just the right amount of sunlight reflecting off Your gloriously distinct mountaintops. Rapturous sights and sounds surrounding me. Lord, thank You for Your perfect flavor. Keep working in me that I would do all I can to “preserve the peace” and share Your flavor. I love You Lord. ♫Sabor a TI♫ The taste of YOU! Thank You, Lord. Amen.

(684 words ~ 7:52 a.m.)

grumble / willing

Thursday, October 15, 2009 (5:25 a.m.)

Grump, growl, grumble, complain…

Blessed Lord, don’t You deserve so much better than that? Help me work on my attitude today, won’t You?

Let’s start off with a loud and hearty, “I LOVE YOU!” Yep! That works! A smile appearing on my face, with a song immediately following ~ ♫ Let’s start at the very beginning A very good place to start. When you read you begin with ‘A, B, C’ When you sing you begin with ‘do re mi’ ♫

Lord, may I please just say “Thank You”? Thank You for loving me, grumbles, growls and all. I DO love You. So very much. Thank You for helping me remember that!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009 (4:24 a.m.)

Yes Lord ~ Blessed Lord! I’ve done it again, haven’t I? I’ve forgotten. I’ve refused. I’ve tried, yet again, with my own resolve. Determined, by my own strength and power, to overcome all feelings of negativity and grumbling before returning here to You. Big mistake! Big. Huge!

Thank You Lord that You are so much bigger than any mistake I can conjure! Thank You that in turning here, once again willing to face You, I was blessed by Your presence. My heart quickened. My soul (as well as my face) smiled. My spirit ~ YOUR Spirit ~ seemed lighter than it has in all of the past five days, ever since I began my original grumble with You.

Thank You Lord. Thank You that I don’t have to have myself all cleaned up and figured out before coming back before You. Sure. There’ve been some half-hearted attempts on my part. Each met with my own decision to just roll over, scrunch my pillow and try to go back to sleep.

Thank You Lord that this morning my desire for time alone together with You was far greater than any grumble or growl could prevent.

Thank You Lord! Thank You for the reminder to ♫ start at the very beginning ♫ Only this morning, my beginning was blessed by my own internal singing of ♫ Ohh praise Him! Ohh praise Him! He is holy! He is holy! ♫

Mm, yes Lord. Thank You. So far, everywhere I’ve turned in Your Word has spoken to me in ways I had refused to consider it would. There is so much comfort to be found here. It’s You. Your Word, Your comfort, Your care I am to put my focus on.

Thank You Lord ♫ La, la, la, la, la, la. Turn your ear To heaven and hear The noise inside The sounds of angels’ awe The sounds of angels’ songs And all this for a King We could join and sing ‘All to Christ our King!’ ♫

All these days I’ve wasted Lord, just muddling through them. ♫ How constant How divine This song of ours will rise… Ohh praise Him! ... ♫ And I refused Your power, Your strength, all the while thinking, “No, no. I must do this on my own. I’m not worthy.”

Thank You Lord for being so much bigger, so much stronger than all the seeds of doubt and reproach satan tries to throw at us. What a genuine blessing to truly have my Dad be so much (infinitely!) better than the father of lies. Thank You Lord.

Thank You Father for the blessings that You bestowed upon me these past few days. Blessings that did not go unnoticed (nor unappreciated). Two days of childcare, with somewhat sick and often resistant kids, complete with a stroller walk through their neighborhood and their willingness to try new to them foods. Extended family joining together at a funeral, celebrating the life of our loved one and learning that Your Word tells us, in John 11 (loosely paraphrased by the attending deacon) that when we grieve, we are to “grieve with hope.” Lord! What an awesome and incredible source of encouragement is that!

Observations of cute babies, loving (and not quite so) couples were later made in an hour-long wait in a Los Angeles government building. “The best $2.00 I (my husband) ever spent”, described a discounted comedy, followed by a somewhat more pricey meal to avoid traffic. A niece’s visit turning out to be her “best pass” home in 19 months. Her son’s very first semi formal dance and every preparation involved with that. All culminating with my brother’s “best birthday in 16 years”!

Lord, thank You for his willingness to spend much of the weekend out of his usual comfort zone – including breakfast here with us on Saturday. With church (all six of us traveling with each other in the van followed by sitting together in the same row, lifting our voices to You) breakfast, errands and Where The Wild Things Are, ending with us all reflecting positively on time well spent together. Thank You Lord. Thank You!

My grumbling has at long last subsided. Replaced once again by the willingness to trust (believe in, lean on) You and Your glorious Word. Lord, thank You. Thank You for the struggle and the strength to wrestle with You until I am spent and willing to concede that “Yes Lord. You ARE in charge. And You DO know what You are doing!”

Thank You Lord. It is so very nice to be truly ‘agog’ with You once again! I love You so much. Thank You. Amen.

(898 words ~ 6:54 a.m.)

something

Monday, October 12, 2009 (2:27 a.m.)

Most Blessed Lord,

I believe You are calling me here right now because You have something to say to me, something for me to know.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009 (5:22 a.m.)

So many somethings, Lord! Thank You! From the beginning, then repeatedly throughout the day, parts of The Beatles song “Something” sang itself to me. By once again putting You at the focal point of another love song I was buoyed [uplifted, encouraged, invigorated, inspirited – mm, new word meaning enlivened, mm I like that!].

♫ Something in the way You move, Attracts me like no other lover. Something in the way You woo me. I don’t want to leave You now, You know I believe and how. ♫

Lord, I love You so much. Having gotten started with You here so early yesterday it was too easy for me to keep thinking that there was plenty of time to get back with You. Once again, that was not my best decision.

Thank You Lord that much like the truly helpless man at the temple gate that Dr. Luke talks about in Acts 3, I come before You begging one thing and You, in Your infinite wisdom supply something far greater. “As Peter and John were passing by, he asked them for some money. They looked at him intently, and then Peter said, ‘Look here!’ The lame man looked at them eagerly, expecting a gift. But Peter said, ‘We don’t have any money for you! But I’ll give you something else! I command you in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk!’” (Acts 3:3-6)

Lord God, I confess. I settle far too often for less than Your best for me. ♫ Somewhere in Your smile You know That I don’t need no other lover. Something in Your style that shows me. I don’t want to leave You now. You know I believe and how. ♫

Lord, thank You for being the God who loves me far more than I can ever imagine. I look to You and can’t even fathom the love You have for me. ♫ You’re asking me will my love grow I don’t know, I don’t know. Stick around, and it may show, But I don’t know, I don’t know. ♫ But I really DO know Lord. I know because You are a good and mighty God. You heal each of us. In Your own way and in Your own time.

Father how I thank You for all the somethings that come along and draw my focus back to You and away from my circumstances.

I love You Lord. ♫ Something in the way You know, And all I have to do is think of You. Something in the things You show me. I don’t want to leave You now. You know I believe and how. ♫

Thank You Lord for the power to believe. I do believe! I trust. I wait. I look to You and all the somethings You have for me. Help me use them wisely, Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(510 words ~ 8:03 a.m.)

conclude

Sunday, October 11, 2009 (5:51 a.m.)

Loving Lord,

From start until now it’s already been half an hour. Talk about time flying when you’re having fun!

Thank You Lord that I DO get to have fun with You. Thank You that as I look up the word ‘conclude’ I get to learn even more things about myself. One in particular! How quickly I jump to incorrect conclusions.

Thank You Lord that You are teaching me to ask gentle questions to find out more. Feelings have a far greater chance of being less hurt when I just come straight out and ask if I should be taking something personally.

Thank You Lord! You are also helping me to not just ‘go through the motions’ on any given day. Oh my goodness Lord! I just now noticed what a blessing it can be when things don’t go as I expect. Help me become more willing to accept change and difference Lord.

Blessed Lord, when I am here with You something usually causes me to sit up and take notice. I get excited. There is often an “Aha!” or a “Yes Lord!” and I think I will be able to take that moment with me throughout the day. Too often I end up deeply embroiled in negativity wondering where my peace went.

Thank You Lord that You provide the way out of hurt and despair. Thank You that You ‘did not come into this world to condemn it, but to save it’ (John 3:17). Thank You for ‘so loving the world’ (v. 16)!

Lord, I confess I don’t know how today is going to turn out. You’ve been doing some serious work in Terry’s and my communication skills. It’s been difficult and extremely rewarding. Help me keep seeing the progress, not just how much more there is to do.

You are such a good and loving Lord! And I have been such a rule follower for so many years. As I turned to Romans 3:28 this morning, again I was reminded of the guilt I put on myself by not being able to measure up to my own set of ideals.

Lord, thank You for not leaving me stuck in my own thoughts of failure and disappointment. Thank You that through Paul’s words to the Romans I am reminded that, “So it is (‘Therefore we conclude’ in another version) that we are saved by faith in Christ and not by the good things we do.”

Wow! Could I ever use believing that today! How I ask You to get me out of Your way today Lord. You ‘play through’ and I’ll do my best to keep up by way of Your strength and power.

Thank You Lord. Help me conclude things today as they really are and not just how I see them through my own distorted viewfinder. Be my filter Lord. Be my point of reference and view! Prepare and enable me to fully enjoy You and this day You have so generously provided. I love You so much dear Lord. Help me do it better! Amen!

(515 words ~ 7:04 a.m.)

name calling

Saturday, October 10, 2009 (6:43 a.m.)

Holy God,

Perfect Father. ♫ Jesus, name above all names Beautiful Savior, Glorious Lord. Emmanuel, God is with us. Blessed Redeemer, Living Word. ♫

Now those are names to call, Lord! Quite unlike the ones I’ve recently thought and actually called my husband of the past thirty-two years.

Again Lord, I’ve been making mistakes! Behaving much like an elementary school aged child. Not knowing how to deal with such intense frustration. Unable to get across or understand points being made. But right in the midst of the near insanity of it all, I recognized You. Your way ~ Your best for us.

Forgive me Lord. For over three and a half decades I have repeatedly accepted/tolerated verbal intimidations as the norm. I see You cleaning things up around here. You are providing the Truth and the Light we need to overcome too many years of unhealthy patterns. Lord, thank You!

I am not proud of myself for being unable to approach potentially harmful attitudes with Your Word firmly in place. But oh how I thank You for calling me back again and again to Your Word. You are truly breaking old patterns here Lord. And I am absolutely grateful for that!

Thank You, Lord! Thank You for my decision to once again jump fully clothed (jeans, mid sleeved shirt) into our pool the other day. Thank You for not allowing it to change my attitude as I’d so desperately hoped it would. Thank You Lord that You alone are the root base for attitude adjustment!

Age-old patterns of our past didn’t work this time. Thank You for growing us to a higher plain. Thank You for not only making it crystal clear that change around here was vitally necessary, but for providing all the components we need to begin making those changes. Thank You Lord.

Thank You that in entering ‘name calling’ in the Bible Search, two verses immediately spoke hope into my heart. Blessed Lord, thank You for privilege such as this. To be able to easily find and turn to Isaiah 40:26 and be comforted and awe-inspired is such a blessing.

Reading Dr. Luke’s words (Acts 22:16) about Paul’s life changing transformation on the road to Damascus is again encouraging to me. “And now, why delay? Get up and be baptized, and have your sins washed away, calling on the name of the Lord.”

Dearest One, how I pray that You will continue growing Yourself in our hearts. Be it so that the very next time I am tempted toward name calling that I will instead call upon Your name.

I love You so much Dear Lord. And I truly thank You for the redemptive work You are doing in each of us around here. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(470 words ~ 8:28 a.m.)

'stuff'

Thursday, October 8, 2009 (5:34 a.m.)

Blessed, Beloved Lord,

Thank You Lord! Thank You for some eventual restful sleep. Thank You for praises being sung upon my awakening, ♫ Praise God from whom all blessings flow… ♫ followed by ♫ Glory be to the Father… ♫

Bless You Father. Bless You that after getting up and finding my way right, straight here to You I started singing yet another song and smiling. In substituting the word ‘stuff’ for ‘love’ in this particular instance I found myself musing (and equally amused) over the preciseness of it all.

♫ ‘Stuff’ is in the air Everywhere I look around ‘Stuff’ is in the air Every sight and every sound And I don’t know if I’m being foolish (actually, I am!) Don’t know if I’m being wise (again, I’m not) But it’s something that I just believe in And it’s there when I look into his eyes ♫

How incredibly awesome it is for me to be able to look and quickly see how easily my focus can shift from the love that is in YOUR eyes to the ‘stuff’ that gets in the air when I don’t turn to You first and foremost with every single situation that comes along around here.

As I prepare to reinsert the proper word to the song, I am reminded of the love that one big brother has for his little sister in bringing her a ‘trinket’ yesterday. “Just a little something” that made him think of her. A smooth small stone with an angel on one side and the word ‘love’ stamped on the other. A ‘trinket’ he continues to call it. A tear invoking treasure to her!

Thank You Lord! Thank You that it is because of YOUR love for each of us that we can even begin to treat one another lovingly.

♫ Love is in the air In the rising of the sun Love is in the air When the day is nearly done And I don’t know if You’re an illusion (but I do and You’re not!) Don’t know if I see it true But You’re something I must believe in And You’re there when I reach out for You ♫

Mm, Lord. So it’s really that simple? I can choose to focus on the ‘stuff’ that’s bound to come along every day OR I can look at Your love. It’s such a no-brainer, yet I so quickly get caught in the knee-jerk reaction of seeing ‘stuff’ so much more readily than Your love. YOUR ♫ love that’s in the air In the whisper of the trees Love that’s in the air In the thunder of the seas ♫

Lord, thank You! Wholeheartedly, THANK YOU! Thank You that You are more than able and willing to change the songs of our heart. All we have to do is give them to You.

♫ Love is in the air Everywhere I look around Love is in the air Every sight and every sound And I don’t know if I’m dreaming (I’m not) Don’t know if I feel sane (well, that’s a given!) But it’s something that I must believe in And it’s there when I call out Your name ♫

Thank You Lord! Thank You for changing the ‘stuff’ of my heart back to me believing I am the love of Yours. “The Lord your God will cleanse your heart and the hearts of your descendants so that you will love Him with all your heart and soul, and so you may live!” (Deuteronomy 30:6)

Thank You Lord. I love You Lord. Amen.

(595 words ~ 7:01 a.m.)

tears

Wednesday, October 7, 2009 (10:24 p.m.)

So, God,

Here I am. I could have come here with You at least ten hours ago, but oh no. I wanted to avoid that. I thought maybe I could read about having a closer relationship with You and that would help. Yeah. You’re right. It didn’t!

There’s nothing quite like bringing my mistakes to the foot of Your cross to get the tears flowing. Forgive me God for taking a simple glitch in communication and turning it into something major.

Forgive me Father for not taking the higher (to You!) road sooner and coming right out and saying to You, “I’m in over my head here Lord. I’ve made another mess. I could sure use Your help.” Bottom line here God, there’s discord in the household and I contributed to it and I don’t know the ‘healthy’ way to heal and grow from it.

Thank You Lord that in doing just that I found the verses in Proverbs that I have been thinking about. Chapter 11, verse 17, “Your soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.” 12:18, “Some people like to make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise soothe and heal.” 12:25, “Anxious hearts are very heavy, but a word of encouragement does wonders!”

Proverbs 14:29, “A wise man controls his temper. He knows that anger causes mistakes.” Chapter 15, verse 1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words cause quarrels.” And verse four, “Gentle words cause life and health; griping brings discouragement.”

Lord, You are good. You are honorable. You are holy. And You deserve so much better from me. Forgive my actions here Lord. They haven’t been kind or loving. I confess to You that I don’t know how to respond appropriately to unkind words and harsh tones. I subconsciously prepare myself for battle and too often follow through with that tactic. I often feel myself stiffening as I consciously pretend to be tougher than I actually am.

Lord, how I ask You to help me be pliable here. Teach me Lord to respond to awkward and uncomfortable situations lovingly, kindly and with Your truth. I no longer want to be afraid to speak my mind. Help me do it filtered through You!

I love You so much Dear Lord. Thank You for allowing me to bring this to You, albeit much later than sooner! Perhaps I could get some restful sleep tonight?

I love You Lord. Amen.

(417 words ~ 11:16 p.m.)

Awesome God

Tuesday, October 6, 2009 (6:09 a.m.)

Awesome God,

♫ Who reigns from Heaven above, with wisdom, power and love - You, God, are an awesome God! ♫

Oh most dear and holy, awesome God, You have already moved me to tears this morning and I haven’t even been awake for an hour yet. Thank You!

Thank You that in thinking of You as an awesome God I turned to Deuteronomy 7 where I read in my Life Recovery Bible that You did not treat the Israelites in a special way because they deserved it. No! You did it because You had promised Abraham Your loving care to his descendants.

Oh most holy God, thank You that You are a God of Your Word! A commentary for verses seven and eight lists You as gracious and loving, wanting “us all to be free from bondage, whether we are ‘good enough’ or not.”

Thank You Lord! Thank You that I as got to verse 21 and read that Your people were told, “No, do not be afraid of those nations (of Canaan – Your Promised Land) for the Lord your God is among you, and He is a great and awesome God.”

As I settle in to smile about Your tender care of Your people, I read on. Moses continued speaking and in verse 22 told Your precious people of Israel that You would cast out the seven existing nations a little at a time “not all at once, for if He did, the wild animals would multiple too quickly and become dangerous.”

Reading the commentary here, I am heartened. You knew (of course You did!) that positive rebuilding, a little at a time, had to immediately follow the ousting of anything negative. Quoting the rest of the comment here for future reference lest I again become afraid (which, sadly, I often still do) and forget. God “would give His people new territory only when they were ready to move in and take advantage of the conquest. We need to recognize that recovery (rebuilding) also is a long-term process. We should not expect immediate perfection; instead, we should look for steady progress. God gives us victories as we are ready to take advantage of them and build on them. We need to trust Him to move us forward according to His timing.”

Oh amen and amen Dear God! Reading even further down the page, I am reminded that we “must be careful to give God the glory” as we “take advantage of the difficult times, using them as stepping-stones toward progress.”

Much earlier in my time here with You this morning, the thought that You are “mighty to save” came to my mind and I am very grateful that the song that quickly came to my heart and mind was easily found. ♫ My Savior, He can move the mountains, My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save. Forever, Author of salvation He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave. ♫

That’s what I started off singing, but just now I found yet another glimpse of Your glorious grace! ♫ So take me as You find me, All my fears and failures, Fill my life again. I give my life to follow Everything I believe in, Now I surrender… My Savior, You can move the mountains, You are mighty to save… Yes You conquered the grave! ♫

Thank You Blessed Lord that You are indeed such an awesome God! I love You so very much. Amen.

(583 words ~ 7:21 a.m.)

redeemed

Monday, October 5, 2009 (8:07 a.m.)

Redeeming Lord,

♫ Let the redeemed of the Lord say so… ♫ Redeemed: saved from sin, error, or evil. Psalm 107: 2, “Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out! Tell others He has saved you from your enemies.”

♫ I’ve been redeemed (I’ve been redeemed) By the blood of the Lamb (by the blood of the Lamb) I’ve been redeemed by the blood of the Lamb Filled with the Holy Ghost I am All my sins are washed away, I’ve been redeemed. And that’s not all (and…) There’s more besides (there’s more…) And that’s not all there’s more besides… I’ve been to the river and I’ve been baptized All my sins are washed away I’ve been redeemed. How do ya get to heaven? (How…) Through Jesus Christ (through…) How do ya get to heaven? Through Jesus Christ You get to heaven through Jesus Christ, He is the Way, the Truth, the Life All my sins are washed away I’ve been redeemed ♫

Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus! Too easily I forget what all is involved in my having been redeemed by Your precious blood. Lord, thank You for being willing to pay the debt I owe from not being able to live up to Your Word. Thank You for truly being “the Way, the Truth, and the Life” (John 14:6). ♫ ALL my sins are washed away I’ve been redeemed ♫

I love You Lord. I am truly grateful. Help me live this day filled with Your Holy Ghost, redeemed and fully saying so! I love You. Amen.

(258 words ~ 10:03 a.m.)

peace

Sunday, October 4, 2009 (6:54 a.m.)

♫ Oh, Praise Him! ♫

Jesus – thank You! Thank You for specific music in my heart and my head already this morning. Thank You for easy access to the lyrics. Thank You for a peaceful, serenity in my soul. Thank You for Your love and Your grace. Thank You for Your willing obedience to “Our Father who arts in heaven…”

Lord God, I can never even come close to thanking and praising You for all the blessings You provide. There is always going to be something I didn’t notice, or fully appreciate, or recognize as having been from You. Thank You anyway!

Truly Lord, much earlier, as I lay contemplating ‘peace’ I saw again how grateful I am for having You as my Lord and Savior. Noticing a light in the backyard before 5 o’clock this morning, I found it to be a very near full moon almost directly above the swimming pool. Thank You Lord. These are the things for me from which peace and serenity come.

I just recognized myself preparing to give praise to You for helping me find joy in the simple things and I remembered having prayed to You just yesterday asking for reminders of Your joy. Thank You Lord.

Thank You that as I prepare to go spend the day with my mom there is a peacefulness about it. Quite unlike the steeled, harshness I often feel. Thank You Lord. I realize that this too comes from You.

Lord, I offer this day to You. All the plans I think I have, I give them to You Lord. Asking only that You sort through them and use them for Your good and Your glory. Cast aside anything that is not beneficial to Your goodness and grace. Use me this day as You would to bring Your glory and light to an otherwise dark and dreary world.

I love You Lord. Thank You for the peacefulness that washes over me as I am again reminded to ♫ Turn your ear (gaze) to Heaven and hear (raise) a joyous noise… Oh, praise Him! He is Holy! La la la la la la! ♫

Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(365 words ~ 7:36 a.m.)

joy

Saturday, October 3, 2009 (7:14 a.m.)

Loving Lord,

Perfect Provider. Blessed Benefactor. Just and Joyful Jesus,

(8:47 a.m.)

Once again I look to You and ask You to keep me focused here. And amidst the asking, I am thanking as well.

Upon awakening, MY plan was to bring my present lack of patience before You. Now, instead, I ask You to speak to me about joy. Mine seems to keep getting misplaced these days, Oh Lord.

Sure, I still get glimpses of it. I play. I laugh. I catch myself having joyful moments. But then the reality of all the grown up stuff there is to do sets in and I recognize resentment far more readily than joy. Senses of overwhelm become apparent and I give in to feelings of dejection rather than rejoicing.

Work with me here Lord. Exactly where I am. Treading my way through the clutter of new rules and responsibilities. Lord, thank You that I get to keep speaking my heart to You. Thank You that I don’t have to try to hide my hideousness from You. Thank You for knowing and loving me despite my flaws and imperfections.

Now, I gut wrenchingly ask You to help me Lord. Enable and empower me to love and accept myself as joyfully and freely as You do!

I’ve stood for the longest time believing things about myself that did not withstand the fiery tests of faith (1Peter 1:7). I continue wavering back and forth as I examine things I thought to be true only to discard them as broken or distorted facsimiles.

Lord! Thank You that YOU are truth! Thank You that when I remember to “turn my eyes upon Jesus, looking full in His wonderful face, the things of earth grow strangely dim In the light of Your glory and grace.”

Lord, thank You that through all the twists and turns of these past several years, I am becoming less of who I thought I was and more of the woman You originally designed me to be. Keep me focusing on You and YOUR way dear Lord. My faulty understanding of where I was going and how I was getting there has not served me well. ‘Teach me to number my days and recognize how few they are; help me to spend them as I should’ (Psalm 90:12).

That is my prayer to You this morning Dearest Lord, that in looking to and following You, YOUR joy would be made complete in and through me.

Thank You for the humbling You have been doing in me. Thank You for Your Truth that has been burning off the deceptions I have so blindly and readily believed all these years. Thank You for Your love for each of us, love that is produced as the fruit of Your Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22) – followed immediately by ‘joy’.

Lord, I love You. I thank You. And I humbly ask You to joyfully order my day to Your good. It’s in Your most Holy name I pray. Amen.

(507 words ~ 12:02 p.m.)

brand new

Thursday, October 1, 2009 (6:05 a.m.)

Beloved Lord,

It’s a brand new month and my thirty-year anniversary of officially being a mom.

(8:37 a.m.)

Justin’s 30th birthday – take two. Lord, I have thoughts of “Where did the time go?” and “What do I do with all the regrets?”

Friday, October 2, 2009 (5:45 a.m.)

Beginning again. This time with the answer to the above questions having come in the form of a song, complete with a scripture to match. “Better is one day in Your courts…” (Psalm 84:10)

(7:12 a.m.)

And yet again! Lord, how I pray right now for continuity. I ask You for the stick-to-itiveness it will take for me to stay here with You.

Yes Lord. ♫Better is one day in Your courts Better is one day in Your house Better is one day in Your courts Than thousands elsewhere…♫

Oh Lord. I look to Your Word. It’s so easy for me to get lost in my own thoughts of mistakes I’ve made. Thank You that I don’t have to stay there. Thank You that Your Word teaches me, ‘whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy – think about such things’ (Philippians 4:8).

Lord, You are so good. Thank You Lord for a husband that knows his wife so well as to be extremely kind and sensitive to her ‘fragile state’ yesterday. Thank You for his PERFECT idea of sharing our break time together on the patio toasting our son with prayer and a bottle of champagne.

Thank You Lord for the tears that were shed frequently throughout the day as one memory after another popped their way through our consciousness.

Lord, thank You for the hope You provide us. I get to read Your Psalms and gain strength and courage and be reminded to “sing of the mercies of the Lord forever” (Psalm 89:1) and that “For You, a thousand years are as yesterday! They are like a few hours!” (Psalm 90:4).

Thank You Most Holy God! Thank You again and again for the truth of Your Word. Thank You that all my doubts and fears, all my regrets and remorse are lifted every time I dig deep within the hopeful pages of Your sacred writings.

Lord, I can’t hope to know what You are doing with my life. Thank You for my willingness to believe “that all that happens to us is working for our good if we love God and are fitting into His plans” (Romans 8:28).

Because I trust You I get to ‘Be still and know that You are God’ (Psalm 46:10). I don’t know how that translates into what comes next for me, but I do know that You are good and ‘worthy to be praised’ (2Samuel 22:4). Thank You Lord that even that trust of You comes directly from You!

Scripture after scripture, verse after verse, song after song come to mind the longer I stay here connected to You. Thank You Lord! Thank You for keeping me eager and excited – ‘AGOG with You’ once again! J

I love You so much dear Lord. Thank You for the opportunity to again approach life “brand new” (Isaiah 43:19, 48:7; Colossians 3:10). You are good. You are righteous. You are holy. And I am so blessed to be “so loved” (John 3:16) by You.

Thank You Lord. Thank You for Your love, for Your joy, for Your promises and Your truth. I love You so much! Amen.

(582 words ~ 8:22 a.m.)