Oh and...

Thursday, June 11, 2020 (5:05 a.m.)

I made a mistake yesterday. I took remarks personally. After having confessed embarrassment to You so openly, I completely withdrew from another.

Feelings were hurt. Walls went up. I even went to sleep singing a song that asks the question ♪Do You Really Want to Hurt Me? Do you really want to make me cry?♪

That’s my attitude right now Lord. Truth hurts. I’m flawed. Oh and look, crying again. Even if the tears aren’t actually in my eyes. They are here. In my heart. My soul. Oh and now my eyes.

I also went to sleep knowing that I was not handling my emotional state as You would have me. Even now, I still have this chip on my shoulder.

Definitely not Your best for me. So once again, I turn to You Father. Much later and far more reluctant than You would have me.

Hurtful words were spoken. How I ask You to help me unpack them. What was their actual intent? To hurt? Destroy?

Here’s a smile as I look further into these many idioms. There’s a lesson plan geared for 3rd-7th grades available. WebMD even has research on the subject.

Let’s go instead to Your Word where I should have gone yesterday. And the tears start again. Proverbs 18:21. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”

Here, The Message says it so simply. “Words kill, words give life, they’re either poison or fruit - you choose.” I drank the poison Lord. Repeatedly.

Work in me this day Blessed Lord. You know Your best for me. Do all in, with, by, through and for me that I would come to forgive. I love You. I long to serve You as You so rightly deserve.